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Abdennabi Ferchichi - BEWARE

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Hi hope you have a nice day. I do not agree with your claim that the women was brainwashed but that doesnt mean other things you say can be true and on spot. And this is an open forum where people share experiences so its not strange to ask a person about what their personal experience was to get their view of things and learn some psychological warning signs.
I find it strange that you ask victims the psychological phase of their brainwashing since you didn’t believe they were brainwashed in the first place.
 
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confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
Because its soooo convinient ohhh well it was a brainwash come on shes an adult and she made her choice its not like the guy controlled her like a remote control and she even got so many warnings so it cant be an excuse that she was brainwashed. Does manipulation happens sure, but when a person get so much warning signs and get fooled not once but several times in my opinion then its on her. The real victim is the husband that she cheated on.
It’s not really a question of age, but of various other factors. You could find young women that are not easily led and vice versa... but if a woman is going through a difficult time, somehow vulnerable or too giving, trusting and or falls deeply in love... then she is susceptible to being brainwashed. Most of us ladies are phD qualified in filtering out bullshite by now, so we likely wouldn’t fall for the okie doke again... sadly you have to go through it to learn. But yes, I agree that cheating is inexcusable with maybe a few exceptions.
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
As for brainwashing techniques, well have you ever heard of gaslighting. It’s essentially emotional abuse, and it usually only ever starts once the victim is physically/emotionally/financially involved. It’s similar to the cycle of violence in DV. I would hope you’re not one to blame victims, if so this is not the forum for you my love :confused:
 

secretyesaaa

Well-Known Member
I find it strange that you ask victims the psychological phase of their brainwashing since you didn’t believe they were brainwashed in the first place.
I think there is manipulation to a certain extent but in THIS CASE the victim is the husband ONLY and NOT the wife.
As for brainwashing techniques, well have you ever heard of gaslighting. It’s essentially emotional abuse, and it usually only ever starts once the victim is physically/emotionally/financially involved. It’s similar to the cycle of violence in DV. I would hope you’re not one to blame victims, if so this is not the forum for you my love :confused:
Well in this case i only consider the husband to be the only victim. The wife cleary got alot of warnings, she even admitted of suspecting he was a scammer and still continiued to send money and finaly when she was convinced she went back and had doubts again. If there is someone who is really brainwashed its the husband who is still together with the wife even when shes cheating, and ready to divorce him for a man she barely even know and probably only spoke to online.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I think there is manipulation to a certain extent but in THIS CASE the victim is the husband ONLY and NOT the wife.

Well in this case i only consider the husband to be the only victim. The wife cleary got alot of warnings, she even admitted of suspecting he was a scammer and still continiued to send money and finaly when she was convinced she went back and had doubts again. If there is someone who is really brainwashed its the husband who is still together with the wife even when shes cheating, and ready to divorce him for a man she barely even know and probably only spoke to online.
Do you know this couple personally? Why do you judge her so harshly? The husband deciding to stay with her is his decision. They must have sorted their issues out and it’s no one else’s business what he decided to do.
 

secretyesaaa

Well-Known Member
Do you know this couple personally? Why do you judge her so harshly? The husband deciding to stay with her is his decision. They must have sorted their issues out and it’s no one else’s business what he decided to do.
I dont but i do make a judgement based on the info we got. Well we have freedom of speech we have the right to disagree.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I dont but i do make a judgement based on the info we got. Well we have freedom of speech we have the right to disagree.
Right, we have freedom of speech. Still, judging and victim blaming is not nice and not quite appropriate in this forum. People come here to look for comfort and advice. They don’t need to read things that may make feel worse than they already are. They need to be uplifted and not put down.
So yes, I’m all for freedom of speech, and especially when it’s used in a positive way. What about compassion and less judgment toward others, especially when we don’t know their entire story.
 
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secretyesaaa

Well-Known Member
Right, we have freedom of speech. Still, judging and victim blaming is not nice and not quite appropriate in this forum. People come here to look for comfort and advice. They don’t need to read things that may make feel worse than they already are. They need to be uplifted and not put down. So yes, I’m all for freedom of speech but what about compassion and a little more understanding of others?
Like i said before she is NOT the victim its the husband. You said: people dont need to read things that may make feel worse than they already are. The people i would assume who would feel worse reading this are ACTUAL CHEATERS. And bad behavior should be called out and not silenced just because someone "can" get offended in that case why talk at all because everybody can be offended by anything.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Like i said before she is NOT the victim its the husband. You said: people dont need to read things that may make feel worse than they already are. The people i would assume who would feel worse reading this are ACTUAL CHEATERS. And bad behavior should be called out and not silenced just because someone "can" get offended in that case why talk at all because everybody can be offended by anything.
We are here for helping and supporting not to blame or acuse nobody. We out rats here not cheaters it's not the reason why this forum exists
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Like i said before she is NOT the victim its the husband. You said: people dont need to read things that may make feel worse than they already are. The people i would assume who would feel worse reading this are ACTUAL CHEATERS. And bad behavior should be called out and not silenced just because someone "can" get offended in that case why talk at all because everybody can be offended by anything.
Why are you here?

This is a forum to out rats and give support without judgement - if you cannot do that and continue with your victim blaming drivel then this forum isn't for you.

MH
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
This "so called brainwash" is a different technique for each woman. Theses rats asks questions to the woman and learn to tic all the boxes on what the woman likes or wants from a man. Unless you went through such brainwashing techniques with a rat you can't really understand how it is or how it works. It leaves you num when it happened to you and afterward you can't believe you fell for it. If I where you @secretyesaaa I would be less judgmental in other people's experiences but that's just my opinion
Yeah thanks @Butterflies
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Like i said before she is NOT the victim its the husband. You said: people dont need to read things that may make feel worse than they already are. The people i would assume who would feel worse reading this are ACTUAL CHEATERS. And bad behavior should be called out and not silenced just because someone "can" get offended in that case why talk at all because everybody can be offended by anything.
You clearly don’t get it, do you? Here, we don’t judge people who fell prey to scammers. Don’t you think they don’t already know what they “did wrong” and don’t have regrets and remorse? You may not see them as victims but that’s your opinion. I do view women who were lied to and manipulated as victims. This married woman who fell for a rat, we don’t know her path and all the circumstances behind her story and I choose not to judge her because I don’t know all the details.
How would you like to be judged for the times you wronged others?
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Because its soooo convinient ohhh well it was a brainwash come on shes an adult and she made her choice its not like the guy controlled her like a remote control and she even got so many warnings so it cant be an excuse that she was brainwashed. Does manipulation happens sure, but when a person get so much warning signs and get fooled not once but several times in my opinion then its on her. The real victim is the husband that she cheated on.
I know a person that has been with the same rat 7 yrs I am pretty sure she has been brainwashed into thinking she is nothing and the only person that she is worth having his his sorry rat lying cheater beating scamming self so what do you call it? Yeah my opinion of her is less then for other reasons he is rubbing off on her
 

secretyesaaa

Well-Known Member
You clearly don’t get it, do you? Here, we don’t judge people who fell prey to scammers. Don’t you think they don’t already know what they “did wrong” and don’t have regrets and remorse? You may not see them as victims but that’s your opinion. I do view women who were lied to and manipulated as victims. This married woman who fell for a rat, we don’t know her path and all the circumstances behind her story and I choose not to judge her because I don’t know all the details.
How would you like to be judged for the times you wronged others?
You talking in plural i talk about this speciefic example and you try to twist my words like i judge all the people on the site which is not true. Most post atleast i have read here have not involved scammed women who cheated on their husbands.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Oh it wasn’t that clear you were talking only about the married woman. Reread your earliest statements and don’t tell me that you were not implying anything about other women who were deceived by rats. When you write about this woman that she saw several warnings signs and knew he was a scammer but still sent money, don’t you think it’s not going to affect others who read that? Why reminding people about stuff that they try to forget?
Why coming here and criticizing this woman? Don’t tell me I’m twisting your words, I believe you get some satisfaction smearing a victim knowing that it will hurt other former victims. I may be wrong or you may not realize what you’re doing. In any case, your posts are insensitive and I’m just telling you you’re hurting others by talking that way about this other woman. I haven’t read one kind word about bezness victims because you’re obviously not here for that.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Oh it wasn’t that clear you were talking only about the married woman. Reread your earliest statements and don’t tell me that you were not implying anything about other women who were deceived by rats. When you write about this woman that she saw several warnings signs and knew he was a scammer but still sent money, don’t you think it’s not going to affect others who read that? Why reminding people about stuff that they try to forget?
Why coming here and criticizing this woman? Don’t tell me I’m twisting your words, I believe you get some satisfaction smearing a victim knowing that it will hurt other former victims. I may be wrong or you may not realize what you’re doing. In any case, your posts are insensitive and I’m just telling you you’re hurting others by talking that way about this other woman. I haven’t read one kind word about bezness victims because you’re obviously not here for that.
Exactly SouthernGirl !!
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
In my eyes @secretyesaaa is just here to cause havoc, she pics and choose who gets an answer and leaves the forum without an answer
That’s what I just said in a post. It looks to me she wants to hurt victims. Either she thinks it’s funny. Or she’s clueless. If she didn’t mean to hurt victims, she still didn’t stop when she was told that her comments are not nice and it’s not the right place here.
In any case, it seems like she has a chip on her shoulders.
 
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