Welcome to TLR

Advice Please

Trix123

Well-Known Member
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
Hi welcome to the forum....I think you have answered your first question... that you are here looking for answers to what I feel are visible red flags. My advice to any foreign woman who starts dating a North African man online is don't be afraid to ask him the hard questions, do your research, understand the culture and the religion because this is vital in understanding if you are being scammed or not. These men are experts, they are sneaky and know all the tricks to hide on the internet. They know exactly what to say to you to woo you into their dirty lives. As soon as I read your story my rat radar started alarming. I think you need to listen to your gut instincts.....they are NEVER wrong. I am glad you are here. The members here are amazing and will help you to formulate an accurate opinion. ♡
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
Hi and welcome yeah the delays sounds to me like he’s carrying on other conversations at the same time. The other day I was talking to my ex and he sent something translated in French… I’m not French and I’m not stupid either!!! Yes he wants out of his country and you are the golden ticket! A lot of this goes against their culture for sure! They are very patient so they will play the game forever. You are looking for truth you came to the right place. They all know the fb WhatsApp tricks they let you know only what they want you to know..I say watch out. There was a reason he kept pursuing you.. part of his plan
 
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Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
And part of the process is the fact that you have met in person. Unless maybe visit visa???
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
Welcome, Trix123! Honestly, he sounds quite sneaky. You say you can’t comment on his picture. Can other people comment?

So you started the process for him to come to the USA. Is he coming just to visit as a tourist? Or are you helping him getting a permanent visa?

Remember you barely know him. You started to talk only 6 months ago. He may not be the nice guy that he portrays himself to be. Many Tunisian men who flirt and “fall in love” with foreign women they found online, are not honest. They simply want to get out of their country. It happens a lot on Facebook. They send friend requests to many women at a time and whoever answers becomes their target. He may talk to several women at the same time. That would explain the strange behavior you noticed.
Why do you help him to come here? He can do the process himself. Did he ask you to participate financially? (I know it cost a lot of money since I married an American and had to apply for a green card. I was on a student visa)

In case he asks and tell you that he doesn’t have enough money, do not fall for that. Do not pay one cent! This is his responsibility. Oh, I hope he just is coming as a tourist. If not, you’d have to be responsible financially for him for several years - whether he stays or not with you- and you don’t want to do that for someone you don’t know well enough.
 
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Trix123

Well-Known Member
Welcome, Trix123! Honestly, he sounds quite sneaky. You say you can’t comment on his picture. Can other people comment?

So you started the process for him to come to the USA. Is he coming just to visit as a tourist? Or are you helping him getting a permanent visa?

Remember you barely know him. You started to talk only 6 months ago. He may not be the nice guy that he portrays himself to be. Many Tunisian men who flirt and “fall in love” with foreign women they found online, are not honest. They simply want to get out of their country. It happens a lot on Facebook. They send friend requests to many women at a time and whoever answers becomes their target. He may talk to several women at the same time. That would explain the strange behavior you noticed.
Why do you help him to come here? He can do the process himself. Did he ask you to participate financially? (I know it cost a lot of money since I married an American and had to apply for a green card. I was on a student visa)

In case he asks and tell you that he doesn’t have enough money, do not fall for that. Do not pay one cent! This is his responsibility. Oh, I hope he just is coming as a tourist. If not, you’d have to be responsible financially for him for several years - whether he stays or not with you- and you don’t want to do that for someone you don’t know well enough.
Hi SouthernGirl! Thank you so much for the welcoming I appreciate you all taking the time to reply and help me. So that’s the thing it doesn’t appear so that others can comment but he does have privacy restrictions on mine for sure and that he goes invisible is just weird to me. I was going to bring him on a tourist visa to the US so we could net and see what happens. You are right it does cost a lot of money, he has not asked me for any money as of yet. Thankfully.
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
Hi welcome to the forum....I think you have answered your first question... that you are here looking for answers to what I feel are visible red flags. My advice to any foreign woman who starts dating a North African man online is don't be afraid to ask him the hard questions, do your research, understand the culture and the religion because this is vital in understanding if you are being scammed or not. These men are experts, they are sneaky and know all the tricks to hide on the internet. They know exactly what to say to you to woo you into their dirty lives. As soon as I read your story my rat radar started alarming. I think you need to listen to your gut instincts.....they are NEVER wrong. I am glad you are here. The members here are amazing and will help you to formulate an accurate opinion. ♡
Thank you so much JGG I appreciate you all taking the time to respond to me and the welcoming is wonderful. I agree with you, one of the other reasons I reached out was because I can’t shake this feeling I have. I appreciate you responding and the truth you spoke
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Hi and welcome yeah the delays sounds to me like he’s carrying on other conversations at the same time. The other day I was talking to my ex and he sent something translated in French… I’m not French and I’m not stupid either!!! Yes he wants out of his country and you are the golden ticket! A lot of this goes against their culture for sure! They are very patient so they will play the game forever. You are looking for truth you came to the right place. They all know the fb WhatsApp tricks they let you know only what they want you to know..I say watch out. There was a reason he kept pursuing you.. part of his plan
Yes indeed Sabrina... and Trix123 look at that word in Sabrina’s advice... THEY ARE VERY PATIENT, it’s like going “fishing” , (which is my hobby) patience is the name of the game!!
The will wait forever and keep playing and teasing you until you’re finally HOOKED.
Becareful and don’t fall for him because if it doesn’t work you will end up with a “broken heart”. Btw asking for money is a give away... good luck
BE THAT FISH THAT GOT AWAY x
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
Hi @Trix123 welcome to the forum. You met through Facebook but only via messenger? Why only messenger and not friends on Facebook so you could comment there if you are friends. He changed his settings so you can't see who responds. At his age its late to not be either engaged or married for a tunisian man. Did you ask why? He goes away sometimes maybe he talks to women via another app or he has someone visiting him in tunisia. Lately here at the forum are more and more women from the US and Canada so I would be very careful. Are you paying for his passage to the US? And why? You only know him a short while through chatting.
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
My opinion it’s too early to think about bringing him over... these men are all charming online but hey who knows you could meet in person and there’s no chemistry. I did a little experiment lately by catfishing on messenger and within days I had 500+ friend requests, majority Tunisian men and many claiming to be in love without even talking on the phone. I went into it knowingly, and take it all with a pinch of salt, but for someone unaware of how scheming they can be, then yes I can see how one might get roped in. The attention can be addictive.

This man is likely thinking he’s hit the jackpot, he’s getting his ticket out of Tunisia without even lifting a finger...
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
My opinion it’s too early to think about bringing him over... these men are all charming online but hey who knows you could meet in person and there’s no chemistry. I did a little experiment lately by catfishing on messenger and within days I had 500+ friend requests, majority Tunisian men and many claiming to be in love without even talking on the phone. I went into it knowingly, and take it all with a pinch of salt, but for someone unaware of how scheming they can be, then yes I can see how one might get roped in. The attention can be addictive.

This man is likely thinking he’s hit the jackpot, he’s getting his ticket out of Tunisia without even lifting a finger...
Could have several trying to get him over , UK US Germany Russia like spinning the wheel to see who the (Unlucky) winner will be;)
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Could have several trying to get him over , UK US Germany Russia like spinning the wheel to see who the (Unlucky) winner will be;)
AND THE WINNER IS?.........
yep he’s “spinning that wheel alright......

Trix123 you have the advice and our experiences here but ultimately the final decision is yours after weighing the pros and cons, we can’t tell you what to do!
Once again good luck and stay safe x
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
Hi Trix123

You have certainly come to the right place to talk about your uncertainties.

Tunisians are desperate to move to the west as they think they will find the pot of gold and live a life of luxury being kept by a rich woman. They see us all as wealthy. They target many women in their quest for a visa/money.

He goes invisible, gets confused about who he is talking to, makes up untruthful excuses, secrecy on his settings, fished you online!!!!!!! Is this a trustworthy man who you want a life with? A role model for your son?

Your gut instincts are there for a reason. Listen to them. Don't ignore the doubts that you have.
If you continue with this relationship then you are going to get badly used and hurt. He wants a visa. At his age he should already be married to a Tunisian girl. I wonder why he isn't?

Be very careful, read the information that is available on this site and listen to the good advice that you will be given on here.
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Hi Trix123

You have certainly come to the right place to talk about your uncertainties.

Tunisians are desperate to move to the west as they think they will find the pot of gold and live a life of luxury being kept by a rich woman. They see us all as wealthy. They target many women in their quest for a visa/money.

He goes invisible, gets confused about who he is talking to, makes up untruthful excuses, secrecy on his settings, fished you online!!!!!!! Is this a trustworthy man who you want a life with? A role model for your son?

Your gut instincts are there for a reason. Listen to them. Don't ignore the doubts that you have.
If you continue with this relationship then you are going to get badly used and hurt. He wants a visa. At his age he should already be married to a Tunisian girl. I wonder why he isn't?

Be very careful, read the information that is available on this site and listen to the good advice that you will be given on here.
Great advice Peacock but he might Be already engaged or married, he seems to want to complete that FINAL criteria for his Status!
Eventually he will bring his Tunisian wife to the west as well!!

Trx123 are you prepared to do that for him? Marriage to a western woman is the only OPTION for these rats to accomplish their goal!

The way he communicates is bcz he’s hiding something or someone from you.
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Hi Trix123

You have certainly come to the right place to talk about your uncertainties.

Tunisians are desperate to move to the west as they think they will find the pot of gold and live a life of luxury being kept by a rich woman. They see us all as wealthy. They target many women in their quest for a visa/money.

He goes invisible, gets confused about who he is talking to, makes up untruthful excuses, secrecy on his settings, fished you online!!!!!!! Is this a trustworthy man who you want a life with? A role model for your son?

Your gut instincts are there for a reason. Listen to them. Don't ignore the doubts that you have.
If you continue with this relationship then you are going to get badly used and hurt. He wants a visa. At his age he should already be married to a Tunisian girl. I wonder why he isn't?

Be very careful, read the information that is available on this site and listen to the good advice that you will be given on here.
Good Post Peacock! There is no way he can get to the u.s, she has been only talking to him for 6 months! He can't just hop on a plane and go there! There is a lot of protocol for him to go through, visa's cost thousands, i doubt he would even be approved! If he does get there, she will have to sponsor him, he would never get a tourist visa! Hope he has a lot of money to do all this!
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
Great advice Peacock but he might Be already engaged or married, he seems to want to complete that FINAL criteria for his Status!
Eventually he will bring his Tunisian wife to the west as well!!

Trx123 are you prepared to do that for him? Marriage to a western woman is the only OPTION for these rats to accomplish their goal!

The way he communicates is bcz he’s hiding something or someone from you.
True Tinker-lulu, of course he could be already married or engaged. I never thought of that.
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
Good Post Peacock! There is no way he can get to the u.s, she has been only talking to him for 6 months! He can't just hop on a plane and go there! There is a lot of protocol for him to go through, visa's cost thousands, i doubt he would even be approved! If he does get there, she will have to sponsor him, he would never get a tourist visa! Hope he has a lot of money to do all this!
If he had plenty of money he wouldn't need to be fishing for foreign women :)
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
What is his name and where in Tunisia does he live? What job does he do?
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Hi! Sabrina we have not met in person yet. Yes I was going to help him come over on a tourist visa and see what happens after that. I am glad and thankful for all who have responded thank you so much
I can tell you 100 percent about us immigration, I have worked on people applications that don’t know English to avoid high cost of lawyer. If you have not met him and have substantial proof of that meeting, ties to a life together ex. Engagement ring, wedding dress fitting…. You will get tossed. Uscis will throw out the case, they will request supporting documents/ proof of relationship and online back and forth don’t count. You will waste the filing fee and all associated cost.
2nd now that that’s out the way. Do you know much about Tunisia? The religion or the culture? Tunisian men and the regular American culture is completely different, views. Ideas, everything… I really really suggest you do research and listen / read from some of these ladies to get a better idea of what you are dealing with.
3rd you have a son… this is not common that an Arab man wants a child belonging to another man, they are jealous and can’t accept it.
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Good Post Peacock! There is no way he can get to the u.s, she has been only talking to him for 6 months! He can't just hop on a plane and go there! There is a lot of protocol for him to go through, visa's cost thousands, i doubt he would even be approved! If he does get there, she will have to sponsor him, he would never get a tourist visa! Hope he has a lot of money to do all this!
It’s possible, if she gets a lawyer it can run 2000$-4000$…. The paperwork is simple, I think it’s like 780-900$ range to file k1, but they need to show at least 2 in person meeting, proof of engagement and beginning of life ties. As for financial support it’s like minimum 36k per year bu herself alone, but she have child it will be more. She will have submit 3 years of taxes showing the correct income. If that’s all in line they need to be convinced it’s a real relationship. With covid it’s soooo backed up, it’s taking people 8 weeks just for passports.
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Hi SouthernGirl! Thank you so much for the welcoming I appreciate you all taking the time to reply and help me. So that’s the thing it doesn’t appear so that others can comment but he does have privacy restrictions on mine for sure and that he goes invisible is just weird to me. I was going to bring him on a tourist visa to the US so we could net and see what happens. You are right it does cost a lot of money, he has not asked me for any money as of yet. Thankfully.
Tourist visa will never be approved, you must have a lot of the money in the bank in Tunisia, show he owns his own house, has ties to return, such as a great work contract, his own business.. something. If you want to meet him I suggest fly to Turkey, it’s safer, nicer and it’s a way for you to see if he is committed. Make him pay his way
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Good Post Peacock! There is no way he can get to the u.s, she has been only talking to him for 6 months! He can't just hop on a plane and go there! There is a lot of protocol for him to go through, visa's cost thousands, i doubt he would even be approved! If he does get there, she will have to sponsor him, he would never get a tourist visa! Hope he has a lot of money to do all this!
Mine didn’t they thought he would be an immigrant
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Thank you so much JGG I appreciate you all taking the time to respond to me and the welcoming is wonderful. I agree with you, one of the other reasons I reached out was because I can’t shake this feeling I have. I appreciate you responding and the truth you spoke
You are very welcome and we are always here for you as the majority of us completely understand where you are right now in your Tunisian journey ♡♡
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I can tell you 100 percent about us immigration, I have worked on people applications that don’t know English to avoid high cost of lawyer. If you have not met him and have substantial proof of that meeting, ties to a life together ex. Engagement ring, wedding dress fitting…. You will get tossed. Uscis will throw out the case, they will request supporting documents/ proof of relationship and online back and forth don’t count. You will waste the filing fee and all associated cost.
2nd now that that’s out the way. Do you know much about Tunisia? The religion or the culture? Tunisian men and the regular American culture is completely different, views. Ideas, everything… I really really suggest you do research and listen / read from some of these ladies to get a better idea of what you are dealing with.
3rd you have a son… this is not common that an Arab man wants a child belonging to another man, they are jealous and can’t accept it.
On a tourist visa all that is not required the proof of meeting, engagement that’s with a fiancé visa I did the application for mine and yes we had all the proof and they approved it. Tourist we went thru his embassy
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
It’s possible, if she gets a lawyer it can run 2000$-4000$…. The paperwork is simple, I think it’s like 780-900$ range to file k1, but they need to show at least 2 in person meeting, proof of engagement and beginning of life ties. As for financial support it’s like minimum 36k per year bu herself alone, but she have child it will be more. She will have submit 3 years of taxes showing the correct income. If that’s all in line they need to be convinced it’s a real relationship. With covid it’s soooo backed up, it’s taking people 8 weeks just for passports.
565 for K1 visa unless gone up the past 2 yrs
 
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