Welcome to TLR

Advice Please

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Tourist visa will never be approved, you must have a lot of the money in the bank in Tunisia, show he owns his own house, has ties to return, such as a great work contract, his own business.. something. If you want to meet him I suggest fly to Turkey, it’s safer, nicer and it’s a way for you to see if he is committed. Make him pay his way
True something to come back to
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
Hi @Trix123 welcome to the forum. You met through Facebook but only via messenger? Why only messenger and not friends on Facebook so you could comment there if you are friends. He changed his settings so you can't see who responds. At his age its late to not be either engaged or married for a tunisian man. Did you ask why? He goes away sometimes maybe he talks to women via another app or he has someone visiting him in tunisia. Lately here at the forum are more and more women from the US and Canada so I would be very careful. Are you paying for his passage to the US? And why? You only know him a short while through chatting.
Hi Butterflies thank you so much for the welcoming and responding We did met on messenger. We are friends on Facebook which is why I noticed that he had put restrictions on me. To be honest I do care for him and that is why I am willing to pay for tourist visa. However I really have been so unsure and was so happy when I found out I was able to ask you ladies for advice because I knew you all would help me guide me and be the friends I needed to tell me to run away from him.
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
On a tourist visa all that is not required the proof of meeting, engagement that’s with a fiancé visa I did the application for mine and yes we had all the proof and they approved it. Tourist we went thru his embassy
Sorry, I’m talking about k1, that’s what I mean though….for tourist visa he needs to prove he will return to Tunisia and not in USA illegally. For most single men here it’s hard for them to present proof
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Sabrina we have not met in person so that is why I was going to help him with the tourist visa.
I really can not tell you what to do, but in our culture it’s unacceptable for you to pay his way for anything. He should pay his way if he cares about you, don’t start with the giving because it will not stop, it will be a one way relationship. If he is working in Tunisia he should have saved or can save enough to fly Turkish airlines around 700$ round trip to see you. It’s his responsibility and pay his visa fees
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
I really can not tell you what to do, but in our culture it’s unacceptable for you to pay his way for anything. He should pay his way if he cares about you, don’t start with the giving because it will not stop, it will be a one way relationship. If he is working in Tunisia he should have saved or can save enough to fly Turkish airlines around 700$ round trip to see you. It’s his responsibility and pay his visa fees
Hi Aisha1 thank you so much. Thankfully he has not asked me for money yet. I appreciate your advice and time. You ladies are wonderful!
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
My opinion it’s too early to think about bringing him over... these men are all charming online but hey who knows you could meet in person and there’s no chemistry. I did a little experiment lately by catfishing on messenger and within days I had 500+ friend requests, majority Tunisian men and many claiming to be in love without even talking on the phone. I went into it knowingly, and take it all with a pinch of salt, but for someone unaware of how scheming they can be, then yes I can see how one might get roped in. The attention can be addictive.

This man is likely thinking he’s hit the jackpot, he’s getting his ticket out of Tunisia without even lifting a finger...
Confuseddotcom Thank you so much
For replying to me. I appreciate your advice and also the other ladies advice. I am so glad I joined. Wow 500+ catfishing experience that is a real eye opener there. Yes the attention can be but at the same time sometimes something felt unsure…. Again I am so grateful for all the advice its a wonderful sister hood here and I am grateful for all you ladies. ❤️
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
Hi @Trix123 welcome to the forum. You met through Facebook but only via messenger? Why only messenger and not friends on Facebook so you could comment there if you are friends. He changed his settings so you can't see who responds. At his age its late to not be either engaged or married for a tunisian man. Did you ask why? He goes away sometimes maybe he talks to women via another app or he has someone visiting him in tunisia. Lately here at the forum are more and more women from the US and Canada so I would be very careful. Are you paying for his passage to the US? And why? You only know him a short while through chatting.
Hi Butterflies I did ask him about why he isn’t married he stated that women over there only care about marriage and that it is too expensive for him to pay for everything. He said he also wasn’t ready for that and again he said it costs so much money since the men pay for pretty much everything. I don’t know to be honest I guess I was hoping that maybe he was a nice guy and that maybe he would be someone I could spend my life with. I know how it sounds.. thank you again you ladies are all wonderful and I am so thankful for the sister hood of this group.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Hi Butterflies I did ask him about why he isn’t married he stated that women over there only care about marriage and that it is too expensive for him to pay for everything. He said he also wasn’t ready for that and again he said it costs so much money since the men pay for pretty much everything. I don’t know to be honest I guess I was hoping that maybe he was a nice guy and that maybe he would be someone I could spend my life with. I know how it sounds.. thank you again you ladies are all wonderful and I am so thankful for the sister hood of this group.
Hi @Trix123 he will pretend to be a nice guy all the way to the US. And the advice given by @Aisha is great she is an Arab woman living in tunisia with her tunisian husband so she knows first hand how a tunisian man should be or act toward a woman. If you pay his visitors visa to the US that on it self says enough if he accepts this. Not any genuine tunisian man would do that
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Hi Butterflies thank you so much for the welcoming and responding We did met on messenger. We are friends on Facebook which is why I noticed that he had put restrictions on me. To be honest I do care for him and that is why I am willing to pay for tourist visa. However I really have been so unsure and was so happy when I found out I was able to ask you ladies for advice because I knew you all would help me guide me and be the friends I needed to tell me to run away from him.
He hasn't asked you for money yet but you say you are willing to pay for a tourist visa? He's a grown man, it is not acceptable for a tunisian man to take money from a woman! He's on to good thing with you. If he is sincere he would no way let you pay for anything!
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Hi Aisha1 thank you so much. Thankfully he has not asked me for money yet. I appreciate your advice and time. You ladies are wonderful!
@Trix123 , The rats are patient and another thing why do you think he has sought you out?
Even though you are a wonderful person think about what you see already on Facebook, would you really
take a chance on this one. A scammer rat isn't going to tell you what they are doing, that
would spoil their plot, they could last for years. Once they get a foot in the door you will
be wishing you did not take the gamble.
But who can do anything or tell you anything, it is your choice.
tourist visa one step away and once he gets more he will up and leave.
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
He hasn't asked you for money yet but you say you are willing to pay for a tourist visa? He's a grown man, it is not acceptable for a tunisian man to take money from a woman! He's on to good thing with you. If he is sincere he would no way let you pay for anything!
Hi Croydon girl
Yes that is true I was willing to pay for the tourist visa. However after listening to you ladies I agree with a lot that you all have said and it makes sense.
To answer one of your questions he works for a Tunisia Ferry that makes trips to France and Italy. He recently just went back to work. Again I appreciate all of you ladies and your advice and guidance. It is extremely helpful!!
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
@Trix123 , The rats are patient and another thing why do you think he has sought you out?
Even though you are a wonderful person think about what you see already on Facebook, would you really
take a chance on this one. A scammer rat isn't going to tell you what they are doing, that
would spoil their plot, they could last for years. Once they get a foot in the door you will
be wishing you did not take the gamble.
But who can do anything or tell you anything, it is your choice.
tourist visa one step away and once he gets more he will up and leave.
Hi yougogirl75
You are absolutely correct after reading a lot of the advice and points you wonderful ladies have made I can see why there is a “market” for these to men who wish to leave Tunisia. I am not in a position to where I would want to put my son and I in a situation to where we both would get hurt nor do I wish to take full responsibility for someone. I appreciate you for responding and the advice and the sisterhood of this group. I feel so welcomed and surrounded by women who understand and care whole heartedly about each other.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Hi Butterflies I did ask him about why he isn’t married he stated that women over there only care about marriage and that it is too expensive for him to pay for everything. He said he also wasn’t ready for that and again he said it costs so much money since the men pay for pretty much everything. I don’t know to be honest I guess I was hoping that maybe he was a nice guy and that maybe he would be someone I could spend my life with. I know how it sounds.. thank you again you ladies are all wonderful and I am so thankful for the sister hood of this group.
We all hoped they were the one they sure acted like it
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Hi Croydon girl
Yes that is true I was willing to pay for the tourist visa. However after listening to you ladies I agree with a lot that you all have said and it makes sense.
To answer one of your questions he works for a Tunisia Ferry that makes trips to France and Italy. He recently just went back to work. Again I appreciate all of you ladies and your advice and guidance. It is extremely helpful!!
Don’t be willing to pay for anything… he’s hoping that DONT
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
Confuseddotcom Thank you so much
For replying to me. I appreciate your advice and also the other ladies advice. I am so glad I joined. Wow 500+ catfishing experience that is a real eye opener there. Yes the attention can be but at the same time sometimes something felt unsure…. Again I am so grateful for all the advice its a wonderful sister hood here and I am grateful for all you ladies. ❤️
Yes they lay it on thick.. online 24/7.. constant bombardment of messages.. voice notes and calls.. love hearts and gifs... knowing their motives I personally found it irritating but a few years ago I would’ve lapped it up. I ended up having to tell a few to F off lol... like a bunch of puppies rubbing up against your freaking leg, but at least puppies are cute.

I would definitely slow things down... don’t take any steps forward until you’ve at least met in person (which I don’t advise). Most of the longer lasting relationships that I’ve known of, the couples met in the woman’s country and the man was more progressive.
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
@Trix123 we clearly know you are the one speaking to this guy and ultimately you will try to see him whatever way you can. Just take what we are telling you and keep it in your mind. You said on this forum he isn’t married because Tunisian women only think about marriage and want man to pay everything….. well hmm… not just Tunisian.. all Arab women expect this and Islam states this clearly it’s the mans responsibility. Also in our culture of a man want to propose to a woman he should ask the family, if he isn’t decent they will reject the offer… he should be willing to answer all questions, show he will have a home for the two of you and give a good living , especially when children are born… he should go to the house with gold, flowers, pay for engagement cake, sweets for the family and juice. If he’s not a good man this will not happen. He told you this because he doesn’t want to pay for it all , you will aka American atm will pay. I don’t care what he tells you… there is no way he is willing to love you cherish you and sincerely spend his life with you if he hasn’t tried here yet. You really need to research and ask questions about our culture, especially you are not a Muslim, and don’t believe if he says he is not a believer or whatever. Islam is our foundation and it should, but not always dictate our decisions. Working on Tunisian ferry for Italy and France sounds more like operation a small boat transporting people to lampadusa…. Sorry, but I tell truth. Check this guy out before you meet. Facebook thing sounds off… honestly I don’t think he is married, but it does sound like he had a fiancé and he’s looking for someone to help fluff the nest.
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Hi Butterflies I did ask him about why he isn’t married he stated that women over there only care about marriage and that it is too expensive for him to pay for everything. He said he also wasn’t ready for that and again he said it costs so much money since the men pay for pretty much everything. I don’t know to be honest I guess I was hoping that maybe he was a nice guy and that maybe he would be someone I could spend my life with. I know how it sounds.. thank you again you ladies are all wonderful and I am so thankful for the sister hood of this group.
So he’s not ready for marriage here, but ready for it with you? Has he spoke about you 2 getting married?
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
To be honest I do care for him and that is why I am willing to pay for tourist visa.
A good Arabic man would be too proud to let a woman pay. A non Arabic man as well for that matter. This is not the mentality in our cultures and in Arabic cultures, it’s seen as very shameful . Only scammers and their families practice that. Shame on him if he lets you pay. Please open your eyes and don’t let him use you and take your money. Everything you mentioned about him suggests he’s no good.

You've known each other online only a few months ago but already he’s willing to move across the world for a woman he hasn’t met yet in real life and can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with. A guy who is truly sincere would pay for himself when he comes see you but even though In love, he wouldn’t talk about moving so quick. He’d want to meet you first, meet your son, meet your family before making such a big decision. He’d want to see how all that goes before he’d talk about moving over. This one is willing to leave everything for you, to leave his country and family because he loves you sooo much. Yet he puts you on restricted mode on FB.

Also, what kind of man , except a loser, would let a single Mom pay for him?
You saw several signs, you aren’t being paranoid, he’s hiding something from you and this something is most likely he’s talking to another woman or even to several. However he’s pursuing this relationship with you because he knows he got you hooked and you are willing to pay for him. He doesn’t even have to ask you.

Please, please, protect yourself. As someone said, go meet somewhere else where he can go without a visa and do not pay for anything, no matter what sob stories he comes up with.
 
Last edited:

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
@Trix123 we clearly know you are the one speaking to this guy and ultimately you will try to see him whatever way you can. Just take what we are telling you and keep it in your mind. You said on this forum he isn’t married because Tunisian women only think about marriage and want man to pay everything….. well hmm… not just Tunisian.. all Arab women expect this and Islam states this clearly it’s the mans responsibility. Also in our culture of a man want to propose to a woman he should ask the family, if he isn’t decent they will reject the offer… he should be willing to answer all questions, show he will have a home for the two of you and give a good living , especially when children are born… he should go to the house with gold, flowers, pay for engagement cake, sweets for the family and juice. If he’s not a good man this will not happen. He told you this because he doesn’t want to pay for it all , you will aka American atm will pay. I don’t care what he tells you… there is no way he is willing to love you cherish you and sincerely spend his life with you if he hasn’t tried here yet. You really need to research and ask questions about our culture, especially you are not a Muslim, and don’t believe if he says he is not a believer or whatever. Islam is our foundation and it should, but not always dictate our decisions. Working on Tunisian ferry for Italy and France sounds more like operation a small boat transporting people to lampadusa…. Sorry, but I tell truth. Check this guy out before you meet. Facebook thing sounds off… honestly I don’t think he is married, but it does sound like he had a fiancé and he’s looking for someone to help fluff the nest.
Yes and people might call it old fashioned but generally this formula works. Yes there are long lasting marriages, relationships even where the man doesn’t provide but you’ll find that he rarely values his partner. Men value what they pay or provide for. You do get guys that are grateful but they’re in the minority. They are generally ungrateful. If everything’s paid for he will feel like less of a man so he might get a wandering eye, start cheating, disrespecting to get one up on the woman. He’ll start seeing the woman as a mother figure rather than a lover... it’d be an emotional nightmare.
 
Top