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Advice Please

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for allowing me to join! I need some advice and guidance please. I met a Tunisia man who is 32 years old.via Facebook Messenger in January 2021. I am 35 years old with a son. He would send me messages and would pursue me but because I was busy at the time I wouldn’t give him really the time of day. Shortly after I started replying to his texts and now we are at the part that I do have so many deep feelings for him. He too says he cares about me and that he can’t wait for our life together. He does work for a living and is currently employed. I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it. I do want him to be the real deal but I am unsure now. Please help me ladies. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcomed thank you so much again
Run thats the only advice I can give you are his secret and u can see what he wants instantly.
Im so sorry but they are good actors good liars excellent scammers ,they absolutely lie about everything
This rat has done same as what all rats do put on a privacy setting on his photo
Try this tagg him in an amazing photo only off you if only he comments or no comment at all but the photo is in his fb then your the privacy settings!!!
Your already questioning him and doubting him
Best thing to do my advice is walk away before he seriously breaks u hard .
They have no true feelings all acting no emotions all very good actor please follow your gut insitincs please xxxx we are all here for you xxxx
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
Sabrina we have not met in person so that is why I was going to help him with the tourist visa.
Please think long and hard is he worth it look how he is acting all ready !
You need to think off you and your son first and foremost .
Im telling u truth I talking straight forward to you
We all care for every woman that comes on here looking for advice abd whatever u choose to do we are right here .
One thing i would like to say we only have one life dont lose it to someone your already doubting .
Much love a big welcome a a hug xxxxx
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
Hi and welcome yeah the delays sounds to me like he’s carrying on other conversations at the same time. The other day I was talking to my ex and he sent something translated in French… I’m not French and I’m not stupid either!!! Yes he wants out of his country and you are the golden ticket! A lot of this goes against their culture for sure! They are very patient so they will play the game forever. You are looking for truth you came to the right place. They all know the fb WhatsApp tricks they let you know only what they want you to know..I say watch out. There was a reason he kept pursuing you.. part of his plan
My rat was sent me in russian asking for photos and how beautiful I was and how far russia was from tunisia im also not russian .
I translated it with a russian girl who informed me and sent me his messages to her !!!
I was angry his response was I messaged for a friend to see what she would do, liar liar liar !!!!! What all off them!!!!
 

Trix123

Well-Known Member
@Trix123 we clearly know you are the one speaking to this guy and ultimately you will try to see him whatever way you can. Just take what we are telling you and keep it in your mind. You said on this forum he isn’t married because Tunisian women only think about marriage and want man to pay everything….. well hmm… not just Tunisian.. all Arab women expect this and Islam states this clearly it’s the mans responsibility. Also in our culture of a man want to propose to a woman he should ask the family, if he isn’t decent they will reject the offer… he should be willing to answer all questions, show he will have a home for the two of you and give a good living , especially when children are born… he should go to the house with gold, flowers, pay for engagement cake, sweets for the family and juice. If he’s not a good man this will not happen. He told you this because he doesn’t want to pay for it all , you will aka American atm will pay. I don’t care what he tells you… there is no way he is willing to love you cherish you and sincerely spend his life with you if he hasn’t tried here yet. You really need to research and ask questions about our culture, especially you are not a Muslim, and don’t believe if he says he is not a believer or whatever. Islam is our foundation and it should, but not always dictate our decisions. Working on Tunisian ferry for Italy and France sounds more like operation a small boat transporting people to lampadusa…. Sorry, but I tell truth. Check this guy out before you meet. Facebook thing sounds off… honestly I don’t think he is married, but it does sound like he had a fiancé and he’s looking for someone to help fluff the nest.
Hi Aisha1. I greatly appreciate your advice and guidance especially since you are from Tunisia and is well versed. It means a lot to me that you take time out to speak with me. He said that before “meeting” me he had a girlfriend for 2.5 years but that they broke up on and off and what ultimately ended the relationship was she was pressing him to get married and he couldn’t afford that. We have not talked about marriage only for him to come here for a visit. Again I really appreciate your advice and guidance and to be part of this wonderful group. It really is like a family here and has made me feel so much better coming and being able to speak to you lovely ladies.
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
Hi SouthernGirl! Thank you so much for the welcoming I appreciate you all taking the time to reply and help me. So that’s the thing it doesn’t appear so that others can comment but he does have privacy restrictions on mine for sure and that he goes invisible is just weird to me. I was going to bring him on a tourist visa to the US so we could net and see what happens. You are right it does cost a lot of money, he has not asked me for any money as of yet. Thankfully.
Yes but how you not no I are not th only American lady he talks to .I feel he is talking to someone else and when u come on he goes off .the things they can do on internet and so fast there masters at it .and professional hackers .America the golden ticket x don't say your on here cos they all no off this site c
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
Hi Aisha1. I greatly appreciate your advice and guidance especially since you are from Tunisia and is well versed. It means a lot to me that you take time out to speak with me. He said that before “meeting” me he had a girlfriend for 2.5 years but that they broke up on and off and what ultimately ended the relationship was she was pressing him to get married and he couldn’t afford that. We have not talked about marriage only for him to come here for a visit. Again I really appreciate your advice and guidance and to be part of this wonderful group. It really is like a family here and has made me feel so much better coming and being able to speak to you lovely ladies.
Hes lieing about cant afford wedding its just to make u fe sorry for him so that u pay for the wedding sly way off asking soon !!! masters off manipulation and for visit for you to.pay again ,just walk away !!!!!!
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
Run thats the only advice I can give you are his secret and u can see what he wants instantly.
Im so sorry but they are good actors good liars excellent scammers ,they absolutely lie about everything
This rat has done same as what all rats do put on a privacy setting on his photo
Try this tagg him in an amazing photo only off you if only he comments or no comment at all but the photo is in his fb then your the privacy settings!!!
Your already questioning him and doubting him
Best thing to do my advice is walk away before he seriously breaks u hard .
They have no true feelings all acting no emotions all very good actor please follow your gut insitincs please xxxx we are all here for you xxxx
Empty rats just go walk run whatever but don't go dont let him visit you and save yourself heartache!!!!
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Hes lieing about cant afford wedding its just to make u fe sorry for him so that u pay for the wedding sly way off asking soon !!! masters off manipulation and for visit for you to.pay again ,just walk away !!!!!!
@Starlight truly most can’t pay for a wedding, it’s expensive especially if you only make about 400-500 dinar monthly. He needs to pay wedding expenses, have money for a marital home and be able to secure his wife financially. Not to mention only the engagement party he has to come up with more than 3,000 dinar for ring and bracelet to give to future wife and party expenses… it’s actually expensive here in Tunisia. My husband paid around the amount of 15,000 dinar for our wedding, not including jewelry ( we took most my jewelry in Istanbul as gold was better priced). BUT if he’s serious he will get focused and save every penny to get married.
 

Makhadi_D'jinn

Major Ratslayer
I currently live in the states and have started the process for him to come over. I can’t help but feel that he is avoiding someone on Facebook because he will go invisible sometimes and also because when we are chatting he will say something that doesn’t make sense to what we are talking about of course he comes up with a reason but I feel it’s not the truth in away. He also has a delay and he has his privacy setting so I can’t comment on his picture or like it.
I'm also in the states...my rat of almost 8 yrs (almost 7 married) was doing this same crap after I found all of his hidden multiple FB accts...there is a REASON WHY HE IS MAKING SURE NO ONE CAN COMMENT OR LIKE THINGS ON HIS FB..,,,it's your choice, I know...but the best advice I can give is to RUN!! RUN LIKE THE WIND, RUN LIKE HELL AND WITHDRAW THAT PETITION!! You are so lucky that you are early on in the relationship...I and a lot of other women here weren't so lucky...I came to this site for the same reasons about 2 years ago before I started finding all of his accounts...and just like the ladies told me, there is a reason why you came here...trust me and the other ladies here when we say listen to your instinct...I wish I would have 2 years ago :(
 
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Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
I'm also in the states...my rat of almost 8 yrs (almost 7 married) was doing this same crap after I found all of his hidden multiple FB accts...there is a REASON WHY HE IS MAKING SURE NO ONE CAN COMMENT OR LIKE THINGS ON HIS FB..,,,it's your choice, I know...but the best advice I can give is to RUN!! RUN LIKE THE WIND, RUN LIKE HELL AND WITHDRAW THAT PETITION!! You are so lucky that you are early on in the relationship...I and a lot of other women here weren't so lucky...I came to this site for the same reasons about 2 years ago before I started finding all of his accounts...and just like the ladies told me, there is a reason why you came here...trust me and the other ladies here when we say listen to your instinct...I wish I would have 2 years ago :(
I’m not sure what she filed for him, but if k1 it won’t get approved as they never met, immigration must have proof of meeting and if it’s for tourism he better have some good ties to return to Tunisia
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
@Starlight truly most can’t pay for a wedding, it’s expensive especially if you only make about 400-500 dinar monthly. He needs to pay wedding expenses, have money for a marital home and be able to secure his wife financially. Not to mention only the engagement party he has to come up with more than 3,000 dinar for ring and bracelet to give to future wife and party expenses… it’s actually expensive here in Tunisia. My husband paid around the amount of 15,000 dinar for our wedding, not including jewelry ( we took most my jewelry in Istanbul as gold was better priced). BUT if he’s serious he will get focused and save every penny to get married.
They don't pay anything and yes 7 agree mine had 7 years to save and his parents printed to be poor but suddenly all in home kitchen roof bathroom air con all suddenly redone including furniture !!!
He worked but u can have a good wedding for little price
He made 800 dinas month but paid for nothing not even a coffee no one expects lavish wedding but we expect the family and our fiance to pay for a least something
And if u saw the wedding off his sisters and brother 7 days 4 change off dresses and the most lavish wedding dress car and exspensive gold rings and the parents say we will pay 500 dinas towards wedding then thats an embarrassing situation when there inviting all neighbourhood!!!
I realy was tearful and upset when sat next to the mother sisters brothers wife all showing me wedding photos off their weddings
I would have been happy to have had a simple wedding but to be embarrassed by the rats family so please don't make excuses up for them the money the rats had from money gram they could have saved for wedding !!!!
All it is is sympathy for the rats
As really if they had little money then why be dam greedy and demand money and extravagant gifts !!!
Visa paid wedding paid visits paid apartment paid car paid what more do they want oj yeah 100s off pounds off gifts too !!!
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
@Starlight truly most can’t pay for a wedding, it’s expensive especially if you only make about 400-500 dinar monthly. He needs to pay wedding expenses, have money for a marital home and be able to secure his wife financially. Not to mention only the engagement party he has to come up with more than 3,000 dinar for ring and bracelet to give to future wife and party expenses… it’s actually expensive here in Tunisia. My husband paid around the amount of 15,000 dinar for our wedding, not including jewelry ( we took most my jewelry in Istanbul as gold was better priced). BUT if he’s serious he will get focused and save every penny to get married.
Because your husband was a good man xxx
These are calculated rats with only 1 vision money!
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
@Trix23 you are making a big mistake, one that you will regret.
Sorry for saying that, but these rats see victims as a way for a better life, its like being a bank machine and it
will be all on you!!
Trust me this rat has other victims, when you notice there is a delay in responding because he is on
with someone else. If you already have questions now about your rat you will see more flags later on.
The rat is only there temporarily for his own benefit, its either his way or no way at all.
Its a tourist visa and once you pay for that then what more are you going to pay for.
Because you know he will most likely live off of you , the more you give the less they give in respect
I hope for you sake and your son that you really think this through with your head
and not your heart. Its not only you in this picture it will affect your son and your whole life!
 
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Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
They don't pay anything and yes 7 agree mine had 7 years to save and his parents printed to be poor but suddenly all in home kitchen roof bathroom air con all suddenly redone including furniture !!!
He worked but u can have a good wedding for little price
He made 800 dinas month but paid for nothing not even a coffee no one expects lavish wedding but we expect the family and our fiance to pay for a least something
And if u saw the wedding off his sisters and brother 7 days 4 change off dresses and the most lavish wedding dress car and exspensive gold rings and the parents say we will pay 500 dinas towards wedding then thats an embarrassing situation when there inviting all neighbourhood!!!
I realy was tearful and upset when sat next to the mother sisters brothers wife all showing me wedding photos off their weddings
I would have been happy to have had a simple wedding but to be embarrassed by the rats family so please don't make excuses up for them the money the rats had from money gram they could have saved for wedding !!!!
All it is is sympathy for the rats
As really if they had little money then why be dam greedy and demand money and extravagant gifts !!!
Visa paid wedding paid visits paid apartment paid car paid what more do they want oj yeah 100s off pounds off gifts too !!!
@Starlight im not making an excuse for anyone or the scammers you speak about. I agree if the guy has money coming in MoneyGram and WesternUnion then yea he can pay, but he don’t care about the girl or wedding, his family will benefit first. I’m talking about the average Tunisian guy, it’s expensive… not all of them are with western women taking their money. I’ve seen very few people do small get together, but it’s talked about by the families and as you know they all care what others think. They must at least do one night and a municipal ceremony. In Tunisia they know wedding is important so the cost is out the roof for everything really, especially after covid prices went up because they lost so much money. For his family to offer 500 dinar is not bad, must don’t offer anything. Like I said regardless if they make little or make a lot, western girl or Arab girl… if they are in love and want to get married they buckle down and make it happen… rather they borrow from friends, make arrangements to pay venues, bands,etc monthly… they figure it out.
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Also ladies…. Don’t let these Tunisian women fool you… all that gold is not what you think….my mother in law told me most women don’t have 18k as it’s more expensive then house they live in for bangles, necklace … you name it. It’s placard; gold plated
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
@Starlight im not making an excuse for anyone or the scammers you speak about. I agree if the guy has money coming in MoneyGram and WesternUnion then yea he can pay, but he don’t care about the girl or wedding, his family will benefit first. I’m talking about the average Tunisian guy, it’s expensive… not all of them are with western women taking their money. I’ve seen very few people do small get together, but it’s talked about by the families and as you know they all care what others think. They must at least do one night and a municipal ceremony. In Tunisia they know wedding is important so the cost is out the roof for everything really, especially after covid prices went up because they lost so much money. For his family to offer 500 dinar is not bad, must don’t offer anything. Like I said regardless if they make little or make a lot, western girl or Arab girl… if they are in love and want to get married they buckle down and make it happen… rather they borrow from friends, make arrangements to pay venues, bands,etc monthly… they figure it out.
Iv seen tunisian men really inlove and i mean real love that have sold scooters and all their few wordly goods for pay for wedding to be together but only few xxx most RATS WANTS scooter or bloody car as a WEDDING gift from women
They complain the tunisian woman are fill off greed and only want money and are bitches !!! so what's that make the dirty rats spinless greedy ###### shits !!!!
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
@Starlight im not making an excuse for anyone or the scammers you speak about. I agree if the guy has money coming in MoneyGram and WesternUnion then yea he can pay, but he don’t care about the girl or wedding, his family will benefit first. I’m talking about the average Tunisian guy, it’s expensive… not all of them are with western women taking their money. I’ve seen very few people do small get together, but it’s talked about by the families and as you know they all care what others think. They must at least do one night and a municipal ceremony. In Tunisia they know wedding is important so the cost is out the roof for everything really, especially after covid prices went up because they lost so much money. For his family to offer 500 dinar is not bad, must don’t offer anything. Like I said regardless if they make little or make a lot, western girl or Arab girl… if they are in love and want to get married they buckle down and make it happen… rather they borrow from friends, make arrangements to pay venues, bands,etc monthly… they figure it out.
500 dinas but I was expected to pay 1000s no way
They furnished the house completly not long before I walked away !!!!
But told his son 500 dinas tell your western woman she needs to pay rest then they started to organise wedding restaurant meals my dress his suit cars flowers rings gifts for all family/ friends a family gathering night before where I was to pay all this !!!!!and drinks for all his friends so yes 500 dinas was a embarrassment!!!!
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
500 dinas but I was expected to pay 1000s no way
They furnished the house completly not long before I walked away !!!!
But told his son 500 dinas tell your western woman she needs to pay rest then they started to organise wedding restaurant meals my dress his suit cars flowers rings gifts for all family/ friends a family gathering night before where I was to pay all this !!!!!and drinks for all his friends so yes 500 dinas was a embarrassment!!!!
Gifts for his family and drinks for friends…..?? That’s not normal
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Iv seen tunisian men really inlove and i mean real love that have sold scooters and all their few wordly goods for pay for wedding to be together but only few xxx most RATS WANTS scooter or bloody car as a WEDDING gift from women
They complain the tunisian woman are fill off greed and only want money and are bitches !!! so what's that make the dirty rats spinless greedy ###### shits !!!!
I gave my husband a pair of shoes that he had looked at for months for his wedding gift and he gave me watch.
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
500 dinas but I was expected to pay 1000s no way
They furnished the house completly not long before I walked away !!!!
But told his son 500 dinas tell your western woman she needs to pay rest then they started to organise wedding restaurant meals my dress his suit cars flowers rings gifts for all family/ friends a family gathering night before where I was to pay all this !!!!!and drinks for all his friends so yes 500 dinas was a embarrassment!!!!
When the sham marriage with a judge took place at the rats parents house, the drinks and sweets were rationed out and so the rat's family had a lot for themselves.
I paid for all that and all I got was the henna paid for by the sister.
And as for money that they pay at the wedding all that was given was 20 dinars.
The rat smirked, laughed and held it up like I was not worth anymore than this.
I am sorry but these rat families make me sick, if I had any self-esteem it was gone this day.
And the rat did not even treat me right on the honeymoon he was on the laptop all night.
So I gave myself even though I was with the rat, a good vacation at a five star hotel.
The rats make you feel so small like you were nothing and really he was the one who is a big fat zero!
So I went out and splurged on myself for the last week in Tunisia at the hotel La Badira Hotel, Hammamet
19983612_10155515227514156_6160754063347072259_o.jpg
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
When the sham marriage with a judge took place at the rats parents house, the drinks and sweets were rationed out and so the rat's family had a lot for themselves.
I paid for all that and all I got was the henna paid for by the sister.
And as for money that they pay at the wedding all that was given was 20 dinars.
The rat smirked, laughed and held it up like I was not worth anymore than this.
I am sorry but these rat families make me sick, if I had any self-esteem it was gone this day.
And the rat did not even treat me right on the honeymoon he was on the laptop all night.
So I gave myself even though I was with the rat, a good vacation at a five star hotel.
The rats make you feel so small like you were nothing and really he was the one who is a big fat zero!
So I went out and splurged on myself for the last week in Tunisia at the hotel La Badira Hotel, Hammamet
View attachment 69464
Really sorry you met the guy. The family should have gave more than 20 dinar, maybe because you didn’t have a bride night… I don’t know but they should have at least gave your husband something if they didn’t give you.
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Really sorry you met the guy. The family should have gave more than 20 dinar, maybe because you didn’t have a bride night… I don’t know but they should have at least gave your husband something if they didn’t give you.
I did not have a bride night, I had a henna night but you know because the sister paid for the other brother for fixing the house for them to live in the downstairs of the rat's parents home. The sister bought furniture, upgraded the home everything and it happened to be at the same time.
But still they could have had more class than this.
And you know I treated this family good at one time and I had a good heart but I have nothing good to say about my ex-rat.
I am ashamed that I took this rat and spent money 3 times to go to Tunisia, I think $25,000 Canadian went out of my hands
through the six years, air flights, accommodation, food, restaurants, taxis, drivers and rental car :Cry:
I forgive myself though for having a good heart that did not see all the bad in worthless people like the Tunisian Rat!
 
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Starlight

Major Ratslayer
When the sham marriage with a judge took place at the rats parents house, the drinks and sweets were rationed out and so the rat's family had a lot for themselves.
I paid for all that and all I got was the henna paid for by the sister.
And as for money that they pay at the wedding all that was given was 20 dinars.
The rat smirked, laughed and held it up like I was not worth anymore than this.
I am sorry but these rat families make me sick, if I had any self-esteem it was gone this day.
And the rat did not even treat me right on the honeymoon he was on the laptop all night.
So I gave myself even though I was with the rat, a good vacation at a five star hotel.
The rats make you feel so small like you were nothing and really he was the one who is a big fat zero!
So I went out and splurged on myself for the last week in Tunisia at the hotel La Badira Hotel, Hammamet
View attachment 69464
Beautiful amazing wrll done u so proud u showed the rat ur not a fool u got the last laugh on the rstshitter and his shitty dirty family proud off you u acted like a lady xxxxzx
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
Gifts for his family and drinks for friends…..?? That’s not normal
I knew this 100% thats why I didn't marry him and the family I told them straight as the father understood well dont mess with this western woman I aint a fool !!! I know more than u think I do
His father replied your not tunisian u dont know our ways
I replied thank you kind sir but if thats your way then I want no part off it smiled and said goodnight the rat was not happy but I was happy the next day I was leaving!
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
I did not have a bride night, I had a henna night but you know because the sister paid for the other brother for fixing the house for them to live in the downstairs of the rat's parents home. The sister bought furniture, upgraded the home everything and it happened to be at the same time.
But still they could have had more class than this.
And you know I treated this family good at one time and I had a good heart but I have nothing good to say about my ex-rat.
I am ashamed that I took this rat and spent money 3 times to go to Tunisia, I think $25,000 Canadian went out of my hands
through the six years, air flights, accommodation, food, restaurants, taxis, drivers and rental car :Cry:
I forgive myself though for having a good heart that did not see all the bad in worthless people like the Tunisian Rat!
All that for a bloomin man!
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
All that for a bloomin man!
Well I had good intentions with the rat and I get what you are saying.
But I travelled half way around the world and even economy flights are not cheap.
And I went to hotels that were good, and rented apartments for 2 or 3 weeks so it does add up.
So the positive of this is I got to see Tunisia and the food/culture and I did have some good memories
of my trips there.
Another positive is that it ended in 2017 and I am no longer with the rat!
 

March

Senior Rat Expert
Hi SouthernGirl! Thank you so much for the welcoming I appreciate you all taking the time to reply and help me. So that’s the thing it doesn’t appear so that others can comment but he does have privacy restrictions on mine for sure and that he goes invisible is just weird to me. I was going to bring him on a tourist visa to the US so we could net and see what happens. You are right it does cost a lot of money, he has not asked me for any money as of yet. Thankfully.
since he did not ask for money, he can be sponsored by another European woman, this happens often
 
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