I never have and never will condone users, but to a degree, I do think that we must look at the image that some of the ladies/girls portray over here -- portray to people who have literally no idea what-so-ever of life in Europe. The ladies come on holiday - EXPENSIVE, they spend money on clothes, drinks, meals out etc - EXPENSIVE, they return to Tunisia to visit the man that they met - EXPENSIVE, they treat their men to lovely gifts - EXPENSIVE - they pay for the wedding EXPENSIVE, they pay for the passport, visa etc - EXPENSIVE - they pay for their beloved's flight to Paradise - EXPENSIVE ---------------------- wow! All that money with few complaints from the ladies -------------- then reality hits. I guess that the majority of the ladies never discuss how their beloveds will have to contribute to the household, as it is expected that they will, as they do in Tunisia, but all the men envisage is going to live in this rich country with this rich wife and that is when it all goes pear shaped. Any decent man would automatically expect to support his wife, so these conversations get missed ------------- the huge problem is that one adjective 'DECENT' .................................................................
I agree with you Wallah to a certain extent...but...does that then mean that we are the scammers... or fault..or just delusional fools?? We go on holiday expensive.. yes but most of us do without all year to enable us to do this..and do without, to save up.. If we fall in love with a man here or anywhere else, surely they of course would help that person, we would not be driven by the fact they had money.. this would be normal and should be viewed as support to make the relationship work. This is how I feel most women are scammed? they play the I have no life card, I am so poor, I have been homeless, all the usual bull-shit.. I think it is normal for Europeans to splash out a bit on holiday and enjoy the food and drink of another country.. We as decent people, and who fall in love of course would try there best to be with that person..a long distance relationship is very expensive and of course you would take presents for your loved one for birthdays etc as we would here. Due to the LDR again this is another aspect of being scammed as the pressure is on financially to marry etc when you are there..absence makes the heart grow fonder.. and if you believe in your spouse???? If I was giving advise I would say live with them in there country first for an extended time.. learn the language..see the future that you may have, and if in effect it is a life you would want... a lot of women do not think that far ahead.. I would answer this for many ..this would be no... I think it is wrong to generalize that all women pay for visa's marriages' etc Maybe a small minority..we are not all rich.. Of course the conversation takes place on how they will be expected to support the household and how to financially make the relationship work. I for one applied for a spousal visa as I knew that he would not be able work on a visitor visa and I certainly was not keeping any man.. and he knew that..The problem is what they say and what they do is again..different...Actions speak louder. You can take the man out of Tunisia.. but you cannot take the Tunisian mind-frame out of the man.. The only responsibility I would take in my marriage is being... to decent and kind... Ladies piece of advise for someone that has been there wore the t-shirt and still not got closure.
Firstly and the most important:: If it does not feel right it never is.
Do not have online relationships with these men.
Do not take expensive presents. only what would be acceptable here. birthdays etc..
Do not visit his family until you have at least been in a relationship for at least a year.. it has different connotations to there than here..and you are inviting in an army of scammers to support him.
Learn the language.
Do not compromise your thinking and judgement.. If he is not treating you good leave.. do not roll over and take it.. the more you accept the more they will push the boundaries. Any sign of weakness will be used ..even though you think you are being kind..
Do not stay with these men in apartments..always hotels and make them pay half..separate rooms of course...you would not sleep with a stranger here just cause you have met him online and spoke to him for 6 months does not mean you know him.
If you do sleep with these men..double condoms..every time...they don't care if you get pregnant...or get a sexual disease.. there view of protection is to wash afterwards your on the next plane home and he only needs to close his phone... yes they are so heartless..
Never be blinded by his culture and yours.. they are not so different ...Why would you accept anything differently/less than what he knows he should supply.. he would be disrepecting you..
If you are having to check up on him...that means you know he is a rat...if there is no trust there is no relationship..
Do all the above..and if he is a rat you will not see him for dust.. Wish I had known some of this previously.
Demand a full Tunisian wedding not just a paper one..and he pays it.. or at least nearly all.