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Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
He wants to come over :eek:

I won't lie, my head is all over the place!

Does anyone know what quarantine rules are in place at the moment?
I haven't got a clue? It is different for each country? You want to meet him and see if he is real or a rat I suppose. He wants to meet you where you live then you must search online if he can come or not as in much country's there is a quarantine rule
 

Comehere

Rat Expert
I was rereading your thread and I was wondering why you wanted to meet him? You really want to take the risk that he might be a rat?
To be honest, I don't know, maybe because I'm a idiot even considering it. It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I love him and I wish I didnt, I'm also furious because of the ghosting and want to give him some choice words to his actual face, I'm also aware that after 30 minutes of being in his company I'd end up in bed with him.

I know your all rolling your eyes and shouting at the screen, to block him and not entertain the idea (I'd be doing it, if I was reading this about someone else).

If I'm understanding the quarentine rules correctly, he would need to quarentine for 2 weeks here, wonder if he would be put off by that.

I'm no further along than I was a few hours ago.....

X
 

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
To be honest, I don't know, maybe because I'm a idiot even considering it. It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I love him and I wish I didnt, I'm also furious because of the ghosting and want to give him some choice words to his actual face, I'm also aware that after 30 minutes of being in his company I'd end up in bed with him.

I know your all rolling your eyes and shouting at the screen, to block him and not entertain the idea (I'd be doing it, if I was reading this about someone else).

If I'm understanding the quarentine rules correctly, he would need to quarentine for 2 weeks here, wonder if he would be put off by that.

I'm no further along than I was a few hours ago.....

X
Just please don’t marry him. Not quickly. Take time and analyze like you would with a local guy. Xx
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
To be honest, I don't know, maybe because I'm a idiot even considering it. It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I love him and I wish I didnt, I'm also furious because of the ghosting and want to give him some choice words to his actual face, I'm also aware that after 30 minutes of being in his company I'd end up in bed with him.

I know your all rolling your eyes and shouting at the screen, to block him and not entertain the idea (I'd be doing it, if I was reading this about someone else).

If I'm understanding the quarentine rules correctly, he would need to quarentine for 2 weeks here, wonder if he would be put off by that.

I'm no further along than I was a few hours ago.....

X
Nobody will be rolling their eyes at you - we have all been there which is why we are here.....

If he genuinely has a passport then that is good and as long as he is funding his trip over himself is even better - personally I think he should stay in a hotel nearby so you retain your safe place.

IF he does come over then please use a condom and only ones you have provided as they are well known for piercing them with a needle to try and get an 'anchor baby'

Yes it is 14 days quarantine at the moment but that can change.

MH x
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
To be honest, I don't know, maybe because I'm a idiot even considering it. It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I love him and I wish I didnt, I'm also furious because of the ghosting and want to give him some choice words to his actual face, I'm also aware that after 30 minutes of being in his company I'd end up in bed with him.

I know your all rolling your eyes and shouting at the screen, to block him and not entertain the idea (I'd be doing it, if I was reading this about someone else).

If I'm understanding the quarentine rules correctly, he would need to quarentine for 2 weeks here, wonder if he would be put off by that.

I'm no further along than I was a few hours ago.....

X
You’re not an idiot and most definitely are not stuck. I’m not sure about the guy being a rat in the usual sense as you said he pays for everything and seems to be able to come to other countries with ease so wouldn’t need marriage for a visa as such.. but the ghosting and being close to his female friend is a red flag to him being a player/asshole.. sorry. Also do you mind if I ask.. is he Muslim? x
 

Comehere

Rat Expert
We've never spoke about marrage, we've spoke about the future but not as together, more career wise.

Yes he really does have passport and he will be funding this trip himself, he has been here before, did a set in Manchester and London.

I'm on the pill and we've used condons in the past.

If he was local, or this was say a local English guy, I would agree to meet up and go from there, if it was for closure or to see if we could get back on track.

X
 

Comehere

Rat Expert
We've never spoke about marrage, we've spoke about the future but not as together, more career wise.

Yes he really does have passport and he will be funding this trip himself, he has been here before, did a set in Manchester and London.

I'm on the pill and we've used condons in the past.

If he was local, or this was say a local English guy, I would agree to meet up and go from there, if it was for closure or to see if we could get back on track.

X
*Condom*
 

Comehere

Rat Expert
You’re not an idiot and most definitely are not stuck. I’m not sure about the guy being a rat in the usual sense as you said he pays for everything and seems to be able to come to other countries with ease so wouldn’t need marriage for a visa as such.. but the ghosting and being close to his female friend is a red flag to him being a player/asshole.. sorry. Also do you mind if I ask.. is he Muslim? x

Yes he is a Muslim
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
To be honest, I don't know, maybe because I'm a idiot even considering it. It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I love him and I wish I didnt, I'm also furious because of the ghosting and want to give him some choice words to his actual face, I'm also aware that after 30 minutes of being in his company I'd end up in bed with him.

I know your all rolling your eyes and shouting at the screen, to block him and not entertain the idea (I'd be doing it, if I was reading this about someone else).

If I'm understanding the quarentine rules correctly, he would need to quarentine for 2 weeks here, wonder if he would be put off by that.

I'm no further along than I was a few hours ago.....

X
We where all there don't worry we are not rolling with our eye's. It is a difficult decision and only you can know what to do. You have to do some soul-searching in what you want when this develops into a relation because it will be long distance at some point and that is difficult. Write all the plus and negatives down on a piece of paper. We all have been in love and sometimes you just have to dive in to know if it works or not. Take care of yourself and be careful xx
 

Comehere

Rat Expert
We where all there don't worry we are not rolling with our eye's. It is a difficult decision and only you can know what to do. You have to do some soul-searching in what you want when this develops into a relation because it will be long distance at some point and that is difficult. Write all the plus and negatives down on a piece of paper. We all have been in love and sometimes you just have to dive in to know if it works or not. Take care of yourself and be careful xx
We were in a relationship when the ghosting started, and I finished it with him. We did do the long distance thing, but we were also fortunate that before Corona we could still see other quite a bit.

I just wonder if I don't see him, will I regret it?
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
We were in a relationship when the ghosting started, and I finished it with him. We did do the long distance thing, but we were also fortunate that before Corona we could still see other quite a bit.

I just wonder if I don't see him, will I regret it?
Only you can answer that question and that is the difficulty of it all but that is in any relation the same.
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
We were in a relationship when the ghosting started, and I finished it with him. We did do the long distance thing, but we were also fortunate that before Corona we could still see other quite a bit.

I just wonder if I don't see him, will I regret it?
It depends as it may make your feelings stronger.. that could be a bad thing if he’s not planning a future with you, you could end up more hurt in the long run which of course we don’t want x
Also please keep in mind although he may be more non traditional in the sense he is a DJ that he is still a Tunisian and their culture runs deep in their veins, as a Muslim man his beliefs may not align with yours so you need to also have the discussion if you and him could ever be a ‘forever’ thing and if not are you okay to fall deeper and invest more time when you know it won’t last.. hope this makes sense x
 

Comehere

Rat Expert
It depends as it may make your feelings stronger.. that could be a bad thing if he’s not planning a future with you, you could end up more hurt in the long run which of course we don’t want x
Also please keep in mind although he may be more non traditional in the sense he is a DJ that he is still a Tunisian and their culture runs deep in their veins, as a Muslim man his beliefs may not align with yours so you need to also have the discussion if you and him could ever be a ‘forever’ thing and if not are you okay to fall deeper and invest more time when you know it won’t last.. hope this makes sense x
Makes perfect sense, thank you.

We had the religious discussion quite early on ( it was a topic that we would talk about often, along with him asking about Christmas etc), we are polar opposites on that score, after whole afternoon discussing religion and belief, his answer was, I respect what you believe and don't believe in, the same way I hope you respect my religious choices. He is perfectly aware I would never convert for him or anyone.
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
Makes perfect sense, thank you.

We had the religious discussion quite early on ( it was a topic that we would talk about often, along with him asking about Christmas etc), we are polar opposites on that score, after whole afternoon discussing religion and belief, his answer was, I respect what you believe and don't believe in, the same way I hope you respect my religious choices. He is perfectly aware I would never convert for him or anyone.
It’s great you both respect each other’s choices with regards to religion but respecting each other and actually living a life together with these huge differences are two different things, I know it’s a lot to think about but just keep this in mind :)
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
To be honest, I don't know, maybe because I'm a idiot even considering it. It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I love him and I wish I didnt, I'm also furious because of the ghosting and want to give him some choice words to his actual face, I'm also aware that after 30 minutes of being in his company I'd end up in bed with him.

I know your all rolling your eyes and shouting at the screen, to block him and not entertain the idea (I'd be doing it, if I was reading this about someone else).

If I'm understanding the quarentine rules correctly, he would need to quarentine for 2 weeks here, wonder if he would be put off by that.

I'm no further along than I was a few hours ago.....

X
Is there an age difference? Do you have children?
 

Sabrina lasser

Major Ratslayer
I'll put it out here, I havent cried over him (thank goodness), but today I am absolutely fuming with him. If he was local I would be giving him a piece of my mind, but unfortunately I cant do that - which frustrates me more than anything x
Yeah I’m not good at holding stuff in good luck with this. I was never ghosted I did the ghosting strange....men takes all kinds
 
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