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Break up without explanation

Hhhhhhhhhh

Well-Known Member
Hi girls,

I met this Tunisian guy two and a half years ago. He is a sportsmen, plays in Europe. We were in a long distance relationship. We used to see each other every couple of months (approximately every 3).
We were completely in love, talking and planning to marriage, together life, kids. Sweet words, sweet actions, dream come true...traveling together. Completely everything.

I am Christian, he is Muslim. I come from wealthy family, I have perfect life where I live at the moment. In the beginning my parents did not approve that, but I’m in late 20s so nothing about that they cannot do. He eventually met my parents, they loved him. I saw their through video call many times and they loved me. He was not trying to scam me, at least there was no reason for it. He had a normal life, few houses that he built in Tunisia.
Also, through my life, I saw what money has done to my family and the only thing in life I value is honesty and pure love. We have had that all, at least I thought we had. But I enjoyed that we are honest and lovely to each other.

Often he would complain for small things, about not responding to his messages fast, not responding to his call immediately, not wearing his ring he bought me, not calling him at 2:20 but at 2:25 and that was annoying me, but I would always discuss about the issues and I would explain that those are the same things he was doing to me, just i was not the one who was complaining about that because I understand that we cannot be 24 hours with cellphone and see some messages immediately. Sometimes I’m working, sometimes I’m on a meeting....

We never had any arguments. We had miss understandings and I would always sit and talk about them and dealt about them. Always I was the first one to talk and to explain myself. It seemed to me he always wanted to be the right one, to me a man, but I am apparently too smart or too talkative that I haven’t let him think he is right when in reality he is not.

Anyway, he left me 2 weeks ago. Without an explanation. Well, with explanation that I have “mistakes”. He left me after I accidentally fallen asleep and haven’t told him hahaha. He called me after few hours, at 6 am and told me not to try to call him any more. He blocked me everywhere. Eventually he unblocked me, I asked him for explanation, he didn’t want to give it so I let it go. Those mistakes are: not wearing ring sometimes (lol), not answering his call when he calls (although I would call him after max 10mins back), not responding to his message after 10 mins but after 20. Apparently he wanted to control me, but he couldn’t.
He was always talking about returning to Tunisia to continue his life with me. I would accept anything for him. I don’t think he wanted to use me for coming to live to Europe or etc...but I don’t understand what was all this?

I was feeling so bad, but I have huge self respect and I know what I am capable of. So this is for me a life lesson and better that it happened now and not in 5 years.

I just want someone’s honest comment on thisso I could understand it better :)

I’m sure he doesn’t have any other gf, he doesn’t have anyone who is attractive to him. I’m just curious what else this could be?
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I wouldn’t be so sure he didn’t have anybody else on the side. You don’t break up with someone because they fell asleep and don’t answer messages right away. He didn’t provide any explication because he didn’t have any. He was controlling and left you cold turkey. Not a good person.
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
there maybe many reasons, maybe he is trying to teach you a lesson, maybe he is a control freak and could not stand it that he could not control you completely, maybe he has other plans. really it is hard to tell what could so suddenly make him leave you. do you live in the same country at this time? could it be possible that his family has arranged something else for him?
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
A man who blocks a woman whom he has had a relationship with doesn’t deserve to be part of her life anymore. That is cruel, disrespectful and more than likely he has another interest. How can you be sure he hasn’t any other local girlfriend who is not on Facebook? People suggest the best way to get over someone is to be on your own for a while so there’s no rebound relationship but I find the opposite to be true. God closes one door so another opens. I’m ready for anything now after reading the stories here. I’m fed up of the manipulation and these guys think they hold the key to our hearts ...well not by control. Everyone has their limits. I’d say he is with or wants a traditional woman who keeps her mouth shut and obeys his commands.
 

Cydney

Major Ratslayer
Hi girls,

I met this Tunisian guy two and a half years ago. He is a sportsmen, plays in Europe. We were in a long distance relationship. We used to see each other every couple of months (approximately every 3).
We were completely in love, talking and planning to marriage, together life, kids. Sweet words, sweet actions, dream come true...traveling together. Completely everything.

I am Christian, he is Muslim. I come from wealthy family, I have perfect life where I live at the moment. In the beginning my parents did not approve that, but I’m in late 20s so nothing about that they cannot do. He eventually met my parents, they loved him. I saw their through video call many times and they loved me. He was not trying to scam me, at least there was no reason for it. He had a normal life, few houses that he built in Tunisia.
Also, through my life, I saw what money has done to my family and the only thing in life I value is honesty and pure love. We have had that all, at least I thought we had. But I enjoyed that we are honest and lovely to each other.

Often he would complain for small things, about not responding to his messages fast, not responding to his call immediately, not wearing his ring he bought me, not calling him at 2:20 but at 2:25 and that was annoying me, but I would always discuss about the issues and I would explain that those are the same things he was doing to me, just i was not the one who was complaining about that because I understand that we cannot be 24 hours with cellphone and see some messages immediately. Sometimes I’m working, sometimes I’m on a meeting....

We never had any arguments. We had miss understandings and I would always sit and talk about them and dealt about them. Always I was the first one to talk and to explain myself. It seemed to me he always wanted to be the right one, to me a man, but I am apparently too smart or too talkative that I haven’t let him think he is right when in reality he is not.

Anyway, he left me 2 weeks ago. Without an explanation. Well, with explanation that I have “mistakes”. He left me after I accidentally fallen asleep and haven’t told him hahaha. He called me after few hours, at 6 am and told me not to try to call him any more. He blocked me everywhere. Eventually he unblocked me, I asked him for explanation, he didn’t want to give it so I let it go. Those mistakes are: not wearing ring sometimes (lol), not answering his call when he calls (although I would call him after max 10mins back), not responding to his message after 10 mins but after 20. Apparently he wanted to control me, but he couldn’t.
He was always talking about returning to Tunisia to continue his life with me. I would accept anything for him. I don’t think he wanted to use me for coming to live to Europe or etc...but I don’t understand what was all this?

I was feeling so bad, but I have huge self respect and I know what I am capable of. So this is for me a life lesson and better that it happened now and not in 5 years.

I just want someone’s honest comment on thisso I could understand it better :)

I’m sure he doesn’t have any other gf, he doesn’t have anyone who is attractive to him. I’m just curious what else this could be?
He is just trying to manipulate you. He is treating you as a possession. He may or may not be a rat, but he DEFINITELY is not someone worthy of your time. When he decides to "give you another chance" tell him to hit the bricks
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
Hi girls,

I met this Tunisian guy two and a half years ago. He is a sportsmen, plays in Europe. We were in a long distance relationship. We used to see each other every couple of months (approximately every 3).
We were completely in love, talking and planning to marriage, together life, kids. Sweet words, sweet actions, dream come true...traveling together. Completely everything.

I am Christian, he is Muslim. I come from wealthy family, I have perfect life where I live at the moment. In the beginning my parents did not approve that, but I’m in late 20s so nothing about that they cannot do. He eventually met my parents, they loved him. I saw their through video call many times and they loved me. He was not trying to scam me, at least there was no reason for it. He had a normal life, few houses that he built in Tunisia.
Also, through my life, I saw what money has done to my family and the only thing in life I value is honesty and pure love. We have had that all, at least I thought we had. But I enjoyed that we are honest and lovely to each other.

Often he would complain for small things, about not responding to his messages fast, not responding to his call immediately, not wearing his ring he bought me, not calling him at 2:20 but at 2:25 and that was annoying me, but I would always discuss about the issues and I would explain that those are the same things he was doing to me, just i was not the one who was complaining about that because I understand that we cannot be 24 hours with cellphone and see some messages immediately. Sometimes I’m working, sometimes I’m on a meeting....

We never had any arguments. We had miss understandings and I would always sit and talk about them and dealt about them. Always I was the first one to talk and to explain myself. It seemed to me he always wanted to be the right one, to me a man, but I am apparently too smart or too talkative that I haven’t let him think he is right when in reality he is not.

Anyway, he left me 2 weeks ago. Without an explanation. Well, with explanation that I have “mistakes”. He left me after I accidentally fallen asleep and haven’t told him hahaha. He called me after few hours, at 6 am and told me not to try to call him any more. He blocked me everywhere. Eventually he unblocked me, I asked him for explanation, he didn’t want to give it so I let it go. Those mistakes are: not wearing ring sometimes (lol), not answering his call when he calls (although I would call him after max 10mins back), not responding to his message after 10 mins but after 20. Apparently he wanted to control me, but he couldn’t.
He was always talking about returning to Tunisia to continue his life with me. I would accept anything for him. I don’t think he wanted to use me for coming to live to Europe or etc...but I don’t understand what was all this?

I was feeling so bad, but I have huge self respect and I know what I am capable of. So this is for me a life lesson and better that it happened now and not in 5 years.

I just want someone’s honest comment on thisso I could understand it better :)

I’m sure he doesn’t have any other gf, he doesn’t have anyone who is attractive to him. I’m just curious what else this could be?
its called controlling ,plus your not getting your sleep cos hes phoning all hours .then your watching your phone.this will effect your mental health plus trying to do your job.now hes blocked you ,please listen we have all been there .dont get in contact he will be in contact he will unblock you.with some sad story.you say hes built houses that will be for his future bride and family.he knows your family wealthy the only thing that drives them is greed and money
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
All fake excuses.
Maybe he or his family found a better prospective bride.
Probably, he wants you to crawl back to him and beg for forgiveness which you shouldn’t do.
It looks like he is trying to humiliate you for a reason only he knows, like you hurt his pride and he is making you pay.
Whatever it is, it is unacceptable...
 

smiley

Major Ratslayer
Hi girls,

I met this Tunisian guy two and a half years ago. He is a sportsmen, plays in Europe. We were in a long distance relationship. We used to see each other every couple of months (approximately every 3).
We were completely in love, talking and planning to marriage, together life, kids. Sweet words, sweet actions, dream come true...traveling together. Completely everything.

I am Christian, he is Muslim. I come from wealthy family, I have perfect life where I live at the moment. In the beginning my parents did not approve that, but I’m in late 20s so nothing about that they cannot do. He eventually met my parents, they loved him. I saw their through video call many times and they loved me. He was not trying to scam me, at least there was no reason for it. He had a normal life, few houses that he built in Tunisia.
Also, through my life, I saw what money has done to my family and the only thing in life I value is honesty and pure love. We have had that all, at least I thought we had. But I enjoyed that we are honest and lovely to each other.

Often he would complain for small things, about not responding to his messages fast, not responding to his call immediately, not wearing his ring he bought me, not calling him at 2:20 but at 2:25 and that was annoying me, but I would always discuss about the issues and I would explain that those are the same things he was doing to me, just i was not the one who was complaining about that because I understand that we cannot be 24 hours with cellphone and see some messages immediately. Sometimes I’m working, sometimes I’m on a meeting....

We never had any arguments. We had miss understandings and I would always sit and talk about them and dealt about them. Always I was the first one to talk and to explain myself. It seemed to me he always wanted to be the right one, to me a man, but I am apparently too smart or too talkative that I haven’t let him think he is right when in reality he is not.

Anyway, he left me 2 weeks ago. Without an explanation. Well, with explanation that I have “mistakes”. He left me after I accidentally fallen asleep and haven’t told him hahaha. He called me after few hours, at 6 am and told me not to try to call him any more. He blocked me everywhere. Eventually he unblocked me, I asked him for explanation, he didn’t want to give it so I let it go. Those mistakes are: not wearing ring sometimes (lol), not answering his call when he calls (although I would call him after max 10mins back), not responding to his message after 10 mins but after 20. Apparently he wanted to control me, but he couldn’t.
He was always talking about returning to Tunisia to continue his life with me. I would accept anything for him. I don’t think he wanted to use me for coming to live to Europe or etc...but I don’t understand what was all this?

I was feeling so bad, but I have huge self respect and I know what I am capable of. So this is for me a life lesson and better that it happened now and not in 5 years.

I just want someone’s honest comment on thisso I could understand it better :)

I’m sure he doesn’t have any other gf, he doesn’t have anyone who is attractive to him. I’m just curious what else this could be?
Happend to me too....
 

Hhhhhhhhhh

Well-Known Member
there maybe many reasons, maybe he is trying to teach you a lesson, maybe he is a control freak and could not stand it that he could not control you completely, maybe he has other plans. really it is hard to tell what could so suddenly make him leave you. do you live in the same country at this time? could it be possible that his family has arranged something else for him?
We don’t live in the same country at the moment. We have seen each other a month before his Ramadan started and this Covid thing escalated. We really had the nicest time ever. I think my mistake is that I opened to him too much and showed that I am completely in love with him. And on the other hand he saw that his word will never be the last one.
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
I dont think he cares if he has someone else...He will still keep continue to brainwash her...They all do it ,dissapear for a while ,then come back with some excuse ,that threatened his life and he didnt want you to get involved,,,They do it to get you stressed and dependant on them.Like a rat playing a game ,,So hes a sportman that plays in Europe ,but lives in Tunisia??Obviously he cant visit Europe while lockdown is on,,,Why and how did he build several houses for himself??And the family skyped you and love you :rolleyes:,,,,,To me all is not what it seems....If his family havnt met your family and they are already talking marriage,then that shows disrespect to you and your family..Marriage is done through families ,not via skype,,They would have invited your family to visit them in Tunisia to ask for you .It may be the 21st centuery ,but in Tunisia its still the dark ages...Id hate to see you get hurt ,you seem like a sweet person and a bit nieve ,,,Which is what rats want ,,,Block him ,he will contact you again and sweet talk you ,By that time you will be so relieved to hear from him ,you will forget all this stress he put you through...
 

Hhhhhhhhhh

Well-Known Member
its called controlling ,plus your not getting your sleep cos hes phoning all hours .then your watching your phone.this will effect your mental health plus trying to do your job.now hes blocked you ,please listen we have all been there .dont get in contact he will be in contact he will unblock you.with some sad story.you say hes built houses that will be for his future bride and family.he knows your family wealthy the only thing that drives them is greed and money
You know, in the beginning when I started dating him, I found this page and I was suspicious about everything that’s happening between us. He had his moments that made me think he’s a scam. In the beginning he told me that Tunisian and Arabian woman are materialistic, looking for money, good life. But also, later, he said few times how his life would be much easier if he had chosen Tunisian girlfriend, but he chose me. I wish some Tunisian girl can explain me what’s that so specific about them...are they being subordinate to their bf or what?
 

Hhhhhhhhhh

Well-Known Member
I dont think he cares if he has someone else...He will still keep continue to brainwash her...They all do it ,dissapear for a while ,then come back with some excuse ,that threatened his life and he didnt want you to get involved,,,They do it to get you stressed and dependant on them.Like a rat playing a game ,,So hes a sportman that plays in Europe ,but lives in Tunisia??Obviously he cant visit Europe while lockdown is on,,,Why and how did he build several houses for himself??And the family skyped you and love you :rolleyes:,,,,,To me all is not what it seems....If his family havnt met your family and they are already talking marriage,then that shows disrespect to you and your family..Marriage is done through families ,not via skype,,They would have invited your family to visit them in Tunisia to ask for you .It may be the 21st centuery ,but in Tunisia its still the dark ages...Id hate to see you get hurt ,you seem like a sweet person and a bit nieve ,,,Which is what rats want ,,,Block him ,he will contact you again and sweet talk you ,By that time you will be so relieved to hear from him ,you will forget all this stress he put you through...
No, still he lives now where he plays. Borders are closed and he didn’t go home To Tunisia when he could so he is “stuck” there.
He knows that this is the only thing he knows how to do, he wanted to make his life easy, so all money that he would get, he would buy apartments and build houses there. He is very connected with his family and he has 100% trust in them.
His family has called my family to come there... me and mum planned to go in the summer. Not to talk about marriage, not to arrange nothing, just to meet them and enjoy.
Me and him, between ourselves talked about marriage.
His family is really open, at least that’s something I saw and heard from him.
 

Hhhhhhhhhh

Well-Known Member
Hello Hhhhhhhh...this man is bad news, pick up your life without him and be happy that you escaped a life with this controlfreak!
May I ask why you chose the name Hhhhhhhh ?!

I killed him in my mind and I’m thankful to God that this happened now. I’m glad that I won’t ever see him around my country.
And about the name, I don’t have any specific reason, why?
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Hi girls,

I met this Tunisian guy two and a half years ago. He is a sportsmen, plays in Europe. We were in a long distance relationship. We used to see each other every couple of months (approximately every 3).
We were completely in love, talking and planning to marriage, together life, kids. Sweet words, sweet actions, dream come true...traveling together. Completely everything.

I am Christian, he is Muslim. I come from wealthy family, I have perfect life where I live at the moment. In the beginning my parents did not approve that, but I’m in late 20s so nothing about that they cannot do. He eventually met my parents, they loved him. I saw their through video call many times and they loved me. He was not trying to scam me, at least there was no reason for it. He had a normal life, few houses that he built in Tunisia.
Also, through my life, I saw what money has done to my family and the only thing in life I value is honesty and pure love. We have had that all, at least I thought we had. But I enjoyed that we are honest and lovely to each other.

Often he would complain for small things, about not responding to his messages fast, not responding to his call immediately, not wearing his ring he bought me, not calling him at 2:20 but at 2:25 and that was annoying me, but I would always discuss about the issues and I would explain that those are the same things he was doing to me, just i was not the one who was complaining about that because I understand that we cannot be 24 hours with cellphone and see some messages immediately. Sometimes I’m working, sometimes I’m on a meeting....

We never had any arguments. We had miss understandings and I would always sit and talk about them and dealt about them. Always I was the first one to talk and to explain myself. It seemed to me he always wanted to be the right one, to me a man, but I am apparently too smart or too talkative that I haven’t let him think he is right when in reality he is not.

Anyway, he left me 2 weeks ago. Without an explanation. Well, with explanation that I have “mistakes”. He left me after I accidentally fallen asleep and haven’t told him hahaha. He called me after few hours, at 6 am and told me not to try to call him any more. He blocked me everywhere. Eventually he unblocked me, I asked him for explanation, he didn’t want to give it so I let it go. Those mistakes are: not wearing ring sometimes (lol), not answering his call when he calls (although I would call him after max 10mins back), not responding to his message after 10 mins but after 20. Apparently he wanted to control me, but he couldn’t.
He was always talking about returning to Tunisia to continue his life with me. I would accept anything for him. I don’t think he wanted to use me for coming to live to Europe or etc...but I don’t understand what was all this?

I was feeling so bad, but I have huge self respect and I know what I am capable of. So this is for me a life lesson and better that it happened now and not in 5 years.

I just want someone’s honest comment on thisso I could understand it better :)

I’m sure he doesn’t have any other gf, he doesn’t have anyone who is attractive to him. I’m just curious what else this could be?
What kind of sportsman is he?
 

Poppy

Major Ratslayer
Hi girls,

I met this Tunisian guy two and a half years ago. He is a sportsmen, plays in Europe. We were in a long distance relationship. We used to see each other every couple of months (approximately every 3).
We were completely in love, talking and planning to marriage, together life, kids. Sweet words, sweet actions, dream come true...traveling together. Completely everything.

I am Christian, he is Muslim. I come from wealthy family, I have perfect life where I live at the moment. In the beginning my parents did not approve that, but I’m in late 20s so nothing about that they cannot do. He eventually met my parents, they loved him. I saw their through video call many times and they loved me. He was not trying to scam me, at least there was no reason for it. He had a normal life, few houses that he built in Tunisia.
Also, through my life, I saw what money has done to my family and the only thing in life I value is honesty and pure love. We have had that all, at least I thought we had. But I enjoyed that we are honest and lovely to each other.

Often he would complain for small things, about not responding to his messages fast, not responding to his call immediately, not wearing his ring he bought me, not calling him at 2:20 but at 2:25 and that was annoying me, but I would always discuss about the issues and I would explain that those are the same things he was doing to me, just i was not the one who was complaining about that because I understand that we cannot be 24 hours with cellphone and see some messages immediately. Sometimes I’m working, sometimes I’m on a meeting....

We never had any arguments. We had miss understandings and I would always sit and talk about them and dealt about them. Always I was the first one to talk and to explain myself. It seemed to me he always wanted to be the right one, to me a man, but I am apparently too smart or too talkative that I haven’t let him think he is right when in reality he is not.

Anyway, he left me 2 weeks ago. Without an explanation. Well, with explanation that I have “mistakes”. He left me after I accidentally fallen asleep and haven’t told him hahaha. He called me after few hours, at 6 am and told me not to try to call him any more. He blocked me everywhere. Eventually he unblocked me, I asked him for explanation, he didn’t want to give it so I let it go. Those mistakes are: not wearing ring sometimes (lol), not answering his call when he calls (although I would call him after max 10mins back), not responding to his message after 10 mins but after 20. Apparently he wanted to control me, but he couldn’t.
He was always talking about returning to Tunisia to continue his life with me. I would accept anything for him. I don’t think he wanted to use me for coming to live to Europe or etc...but I don’t understand what was all this?

I was feeling so bad, but I have huge self respect and I know what I am capable of. So this is for me a life lesson and better that it happened now and not in 5 years.

I just want someone’s honest comment on thisso I could understand it better :)

I’m sure he doesn’t have any other gf, he doesn’t have anyone who is attractive to him. I’m just curious what else this could be?
For sure he found another girl willing to marry him faster. That's how it works with them. You should feel relieved that he has come out from your life now....better now than after marriage.
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
You know, in the beginning when I started dating him, I found this page and I was suspicious about everything that’s happening between us. He had his moments that made me think he’s a scam. In the beginning he told me that Tunisian and Arabian woman are materialistic, looking for money, good life. But also, later, he said few times how his life would be much easier if he had chosen Tunisian girlfriend, but he chose me. I wish some Tunisian girl can explain me what’s that so specific about them...are they being subordinate to their bf or what?
From what i noticed when i was visiting Tunisia is that women mostly keep to themselves or stay around children and other women. A men has the right to tell them to be quiet even to his mother and they will just all get quiet. A women there will cook for them, do their laundry and clean the house without any questions. A man can come and go as he pleases. I think that the women there of course would like to have somebody with money because often they will not work themselves so they would like to have a nice house and nice things which is not unusual even with western women except that we work for things as well. Also, i think that it is preferable for them to marry over there..even though it may seem appealing for a guy to marry western woman but when it comes down to it, it is more acceptable culturaly and even for economic reasons to marry somebody there preferably some cousin. I think if a guy is well off over there like he says he is then most likely he will not even consider marrying western woman.
 

Hhhhhhhhhh

Well-Known Member
From what i noticed when i was visiting Tunisia is that women mostly keep to themselves or stay around children and other women. A men has the right to tell them to be quiet even to his mother and they will just all get quiet. A women there will cook for them, do their laundry and clean the house without any questions. A man can come and go as he pleases. I think that the women there of course would like to have somebody with money because often they will not work themselves so they would like to have a nice house and nice things which is not unusual even with western women except that we work for things as well. Also, i think that it is preferable for them to marry over there..even though it may seem appealing for a guy to marry western woman but when it comes down to it, it is more acceptable culturaly and even for economic reasons to marry somebody there preferably some cousin. I think if a guy is well off over there like he says he is then most likely he will not even consider marrying western woman.

if he has ever told me to shut up, I think i would instantly kill him but now I know when I’ve accidentally few times said to him “pssssst” cause of banal thing, I got the look I won’t forget ever.
Apparently they saw some things in life since they were little kids and some “inborn” things cannot be deleted from them.
He has accomplished an easy life for his family and for himself so I think he will easily find wife there. Let it be...
 

Candyshop

Rat Expert
I also have the feeling they don’t leave unless there is someone else in the picture, but first they will make sure you think it is your fault. Then they will keep coming back, because they hate the feeling you can do whatever now.

In the first months with my rat, the honeymoon phase, I didn’t really notice much about the control. I want to say I never lived with a guy and I travel the world alone, love being home alone after work not talking to anyone.

I soon realized that he checks when I appear online in the morning he called me, then all day texting, then he called me as soon as he saw me online coming home from work and wouldn’t hang up until I go to bed. He called me all weekend, just so scared because I live alone.

I only realized then I didn’t properly clean my apartment for months, stopped going to gym, stopped cooking to be on phone. I had to ask him if I can eat, if I can sleep. Often he started making me angry by midnight, then I couldn’t sleep another two hours. There was time I was a week on sickleave and he called me from morning to evening just to see im alone. It was so exhausting. On Fridays when I usually hang out with friends I had to sleep on call!
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
I also have the feeling they don’t leave unless there is someone else in the picture, but first they will make sure you think it is your fault. Then they will keep coming back, because they hate the feeling you can do whatever now.

In the first months with my rat, the honeymoon phase, I didn’t really notice much about the control. I want to say I never lived with a guy and I travel the world alone, love being home alone after work not talking to anyone.

I soon realized that he checks when I appear online in the morning he called me, then all day texting, then he called me as soon as he saw me online coming home from work and wouldn’t hang up until I go to bed. He called me all weekend, just so scared because I live alone.

I only realized then I didn’t properly clean my apartment for months, stopped going to gym, stopped cooking to be on phone. I had to ask him if I can eat, if I can sleep. Often he started making me angry by midnight, then I couldn’t sleep another two hours. There was time I was a week on sickleave and he called me from morning to evening just to see im alone. It was so exhausting. On Fridays when I usually hang out with friends I had to sleep on call!

Seems like this relationship has taken its toll on you as far as self care goes. Same thing happened to me. I stopped swimming, stopped going for long hikes like before, did not spend as much time on self care like before. All because we had a schedule lol. The schedule was kind of in the middle of my free time to accomodate him. All this and the stress caused me to develop heart and other health problems so please be careful. In the end it is not worth it. Now what i realize is that if somebody truly loves you they will look out for your well being and encourage you to take care of yourself.
 
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