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Do you think she is a rat? I need advice...

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
Very strange how they all say f**k your money and f**k you, that’s all you care about is your money… this is when we don’t give in to their whims! I simply cared about paying my bills and not throwing my money away..especially on him!
Wow mine said exactly that to me f**k u f**k your money
Then accuse u off always caring about money
Off course we do its our money we work for it
Unlike u rats !
Their motto
Your money is mine and my money is mine too
Did any rats give u money did any rats ever pay for anything when u visited
Did any rats ever buy u gifts
U mention to the rats u have to pay for something
They will run a mile with those little legs omg omg screaming to warn all other rats western woman wants my Dinas arrrggghh run rats run
They won't part with 1 dins for you
But will expect u to part with thousands to them .
Wtf these Tunisian rats are a fucking menace .
None off off them have any shame to beg scrounge for Dinas from a woman
They will go on and on and on for weeks till they think theve worn u down enough to say take the fucking Dinas ratty
Nah say your begging bowl is empty ratscummer fuck offffffff little zibi head !!!
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Well it kinda makes sense because of your culture but this female acted childish blocking him. If it’s love at first sight I understand but rare. And it may be me but I never was dependent or accepted anything from a man but that’s me I mean I would let them buy dinner and some would give me gifts but I never expected it. Just the difference in the culture. But one thing for sure is the guys certainly are not raised that way ANYWHERE and if they are they will be very disappointed it’s just not normal for a woman to pay or even be asked for anything! Until I met this monkey nobody asked me for anything , men gave without me expecting or asking . But I understand what you are saying but I still think she was a rat. That being said I know you are an independent woman and it’s the way it is, and it’s wonderful that you two found each other! I think it’s great there are so many times I want that but I’m set in my own ways.. an old maid;) per say.. I should’ve married my high school sweetheart, been engaged before a couple times knowing I wouldn’t go thru I’m scared of marriage!
I agree.. that girl was rat 100 percent.
 

Astarisborn

Major Ratslayer
Wow mine said exactly that to me f**k u f**k your money
Then accuse u off always caring about money
Off course we do its our money we work for it
Unlike u rats !
Their motto
Your money is mine and my money is mine too
Did any rats give u money did any rats ever pay for anything when u visited
Did any rats ever buy u gifts
U mention to the rats u have to pay for something
They will run a mile with those little legs omg omg screaming to warn all other rats western woman wants my Dinas arrrggghh run rats run
They won't part with 1 dins for you
But will expect u to part with thousands to them .
Wtf these Tunisian rats are a fucking menace .
None off off them have any shame to beg scrounge for Dinas from a woman
They will go on and on and on for weeks till they think theve worn u down enough to say take the fucking Dinas ratty
Nah say your begging bowl is empty ratscummer fuck offffffff little zibi head !!!
how about other things they accuse you of too, they accuse you of what they are doing
like gaslighting on a whole different level by diverting what they do and put it on you
making you question yourself, and the crazy making is psychological abuse
they get to your mind and then you even feel like you are going insane
my ex-rat was a master manipulator, a creative genius at narcissistic tactics too bad
he was not creative about getting his own job but expected everything to be on one person
I was yelled out in public in front of everyone, if something was his fault it would be a shouting spree
at me just to be right about anything
been called lazy too, when in fact it was the rat that all he did was have his hands out waiting
how hard is that?
meanwhile I did all the hard work from my side
but you know what I did do after all that BS, create boundaries
and not accept the guilt tripping, whining and complaining
the rat is where he is at because of his self
nobody else but himself
but to tell you over the years it was a never-ending nightmare
like I suffered post traumatic stress over the 6 years, like I went through
a drawn out battle with the rat
he certainly wore me down but never won the battle, I won the battle
and he could not keep his fake self up for very long
and when all you have is nothing, no respect, no dignity or any other redeeming qualities
you ratty are not worthy of anyone
begging bowl , yes the never-ending charity
what are these babies we have to adopt and start their lives over again for them haha
 
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Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
I understand the resentment of many posters in this thread, however, like I wrote, bezness is a very different thing when the usual "Man" is a "Woman". Only a very good observation and understanding of the social life (I am reluctant to say "culture", because, in reality, I don't see it as relevant) will help to tackle this issue.

I have been there and seen it, done it - all of the things the thread starter writes about. Me and my wife are now married for almost 15 years. My contribution to this thread is in reminiscence of what I have personally experienced ... but then again, at this point in time I had lived in Tunisia multiple years already which made the "adventure" more of a calculated risk. Before our actual marriage, we had been with each other for around 40 days (meeting in person), altogether about 2 years.
She got a university education (better than mine) and she earns good money (more than me). She comes from a quite conservative rural family (and never talked to anyone not from Tunisia before she met me), but for me, there was never a question of becoming muslim. I have been, am, and will be atheist for the remainder of my life (and so will she). So all the "cultural" things around marriage (hammam, hairdresser, harcous, rural wedding) was a nice-to-see folklore, but nothing more. And we actually did not even marry in Tunisia, but on the second day of a "90 day fiance visa" (a marriage in Tunisia would have had only disadvantages for me and my wife). We did, though, have a wedding party nevertheless (we had to pretend we were married or else her father would not have allowed her to get on the airplane).
So, what we did, was this: I called the embassy and laid out the problem. They were sympathetic and we got a date. At that time, we drove to the embassy and were let in (her father had to wait in the car, because "only we 2 could get into it"). We met the consul, had a drink with him and after 20 minutes, we left the embassy ... and pretended to be married now. The next day was the wedding party and from the wedding party we drove straight to the airport and left Tunisia for good. :)
The whole process was fairly easy, as in getting the required documents etc. The real problem was to arrange (weeks before) everything into a tight time frame (visa, alleged marriage, wedding party, tickets, marriage date, etc.), but it worked out pretty well.
Today, my wife has 2 passports, the toy passport of tunisia with her birthname and a "real" passport with a "new" first and last name (by naturalization). She visits Tunisia only to meet her parents and siblings, like every two years, (and when I accompany her, I usually stay in the tourist regions and come to visit for a day or two ... what would I talk with the parents about, plus, we speak different languages), nevertheless, I am a respected member of her family (probably because we cannot really talk to each other :) and I respect all of them, too).
We don't bring money to Tunisia (we have never been asked to), except for the costs of our staying there and some low-cost gifts and we wouldn't help people to get out of Tunisia (we have never been asked to). In a case of a real emergency, we would send money, but not to enable someone prowling around just because they have family members living abroad.
We do not invest any money in Tunisia either, because our life is not in Tunisia - and never will be.

Interestingly, we did not meet in person at the beginning of our relationship. It was rather a blind date, because I was just driving around in a taxi and got a telephone call from someone allegedly expecting "Ahmed" to answer it. As it turned out, my future wife got my number from another woman - and we met then for the first time after 2 weeks of this initial call.

Anyway, I thought it might be interesting to hear such a story also. I didn't write about all the knicks and knacks of the whole process, but without a profound knowledge of the tunisia social life, I would not have been able to achieve this. Of course, one needs the right woman for this as well, and, once again, the knowledge of tunisian social life helped a lot in that.

Finally, as can be seen from this story, a well-founded relationship with a tunisian person has a lot to do with time and money (and honestly, also school and general education).
As a serious advice: Those, who won't be willing to spend this, especially the former, rather have a look for a partner of your own "culture". You will be better off in the long run ... and you will save a lot of money (and time) - and headache!
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
Yes, that would be my advice too - for both. Not knowing, and even more: understanding, another culture will lead to misunderstandings, unhappiness and ultimately to a divorce.
Not always as iv said before
There's now in my country many different cultures marrying and living happy
There's no need to go and read up on cultures
You both talk understand each others cultures religion and expectation off marriage
If u want to change religion that is to be focused between each other
If u don't then highest off respect to each others cultures religion and each other as a person
The problems begin when you meet online or u meet in hotel and red flags appear money demands is the first flag
Then sleeping together too soon or on first visit
And demanding visa
And disrespecting ur values and dignity
Only a few off these online hotel other country's meeting work
I have a few friends that met online and in other country
And they are so much happy
But some have divorced as soon as 5 years are up or they get their citizenship.
Cultures religions can live happy together even in marraige
It's not always lack off awareness but the person that runs goes back to their country and marrys a cousin or u suddenly get divorce papers when the person has only visited country
So it's not always culture / religions that causes divorces just because your Arabic tunisian muslim man makes u a bad abusive person it's not always ,its actually how u love respect the woman u will marry without respect there is no love .
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Not always as iv said before
There's now in my country many different cultures marrying and living happy
There's no need to go and read up on cultures
You both talk understand each others cultures religion and expectation off marriage
If u want to change religion that is to be focused between each other
If u don't then highest off respect to each others cultures religion and each other as a person
The problems begin when you meet online or u meet in hotel and red flags appear money demands is the first flag
Then sleeping together too soon or on first visit
And demanding visa
And disrespecting ur values and dignity
Only a few off these online hotel other country's meeting work
I have a few friends that met online and in other country
And they are so much happy
But some have divorced as soon as 5 years are up or they get their citizenship.
Cultures religions can live happy together even in marraige
It's not always lack off awareness but the person that runs goes back to their country and marrys a cousin or u suddenly get divorce papers when the person has only visited country
So it's not always culture / religions that causes divorces just because your Arabic tunisian muslim man makes u a bad abusive person it's not always ,its actually how u love respect the woman u will marry without respect there is no love .
Conflicts between married couples regardless of the country they are from will always happen. The difficulty starts when there is no coming together in accepting that you are 2 different people with many different opinions. A different religion can be a difficulty but it doesn't need to be. An open mind set brings you a long way. Both people need to adapt to eacothers culture for the marriage to work out.
And there in lays the truth, a rat isn't in it for a relationship he has other ulterior motives so from the start this relationship will not work. I think if your gut is saying something is off you need to listen to your gut.
Binational relationships /marriages or otherwise you need to have trust in each other and don't tell me all these marriages are happy because that's a big fat lie. Each marriage undergoes difficult times. Divorces are high everywhere in the world and being with a man or woman from another culture /religion /country will bring other problems and difficulties
We can discuss it untill we see blue in the face but the truth is each week there are rats who chase after women. They will not stop we can only advise women who seek help.
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
Both people need to adapt to eacothers culture for the marriage to work out.
Not necessarily, it is sufficient if the persons adapt to the social life of the country they are living in. Plus, both have to have an understanding on how they will conduct their marriage, which means a lot of talks. Understanding the others culture is quite important during the beginning of the relationship, though, because one needs to access possible problems arising from the difference.
And there in lays the truth, a rat isn't in it for a relationship he has other ulterior motives so from the start this relationship will not work. I think if your gut is saying something is off you need to listen to your gut.
Absolutely true. In tourist regions of "poorer" countries, the percentage of people with ulterior motives (sometimes even on both sides) is very high (not random people, but the people who search for contacts with tourists or natives). The percentage of "surviving marriages" with binational partners (born ones, not just naturalized) at our local registry is in the lower one digits after 5 years.
Binational relationships /marriages or otherwise you need to have trust in each other and don't tell me all these marriages are happy because that's a big fat lie.
It is not about any binational relationship, but about those who are normally incompatible to each other because of fundamentally opposing values and views (and economic backgrounds...). The problems caused by this come on top of the "normal" problems - not even to speak about beznezzers.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
It is not about any binational relationship, but about those who are normally incompatible to each other because of fundamentally opposing values and views (and economic backgrounds
Any marriage will have problems to start with because all of us are brought up in a different way. Living together with your spouse will force us ( in lack of a better way to say it) to adapt or it will cause major issues. Being incompatible to one another due to other economic backgrounds doesn't always mean the marriage fails. If there's willingness from both sides it will work out.

Not necessarily, it is sufficient if the persons adapt to the social life of the country they are living in.
I read you and your wife visit tunisia every 2 years and you don't stay long at their home, because you can't talk to them and I suppose you don't have alot in common, the respect is both ways and your wife hasn't got a problem with it.
I don't think a tunisian husband will accept his foreign wife wouldn't visit his family. It's expected she does this to pay her respect to him. Or is my thinking wrong?
I read here tunisian men who are married to a foreign woman regularly visit tunisia and many times visit their home country on their own. That to me is a red flag.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Not always as iv said before
There's now in my country many different cultures marrying and living happy
There's no need to go and read up on cultures
You both talk understand each others cultures religion and expectation off marriage
If u want to change religion that is to be focused between each other
If u don't then highest off respect to each others cultures religion and each other as a person
The problems begin when you meet online or u meet in hotel and red flags appear money demands is the first flag
Then sleeping together too soon or on first visit
And demanding visa
And disrespecting ur values and dignity
Only a few off these online hotel other country's meeting work
I have a few friends that met online and in other country
And they are so much happy
But some have divorced as soon as 5 years are up or they get their citizenship.
Cultures religions can live happy together even in marraige
It's not always lack off awareness but the person that runs goes back to their country and marrys a cousin or u suddenly get divorce papers when the person has only visited country
So it's not always culture / religions that causes divorces just because your Arabic tunisian muslim man makes u a bad abusive person it's not always ,its actually how u love respect the woman u will marry without respect there is no love .
Wonder why ol morass (lol) found this funny…
 

Astarisborn

Major Ratslayer
Not always as iv said before
There's now in my country many different cultures marrying and living happy
There's no need to go and read up on cultures
You both talk understand each others cultures religion and expectation off marriage
If u want to change religion that is to be focused between each other
If u don't then highest off respect to each others cultures religion and each other as a person
The problems begin when you meet online or u meet in hotel and red flags appear money demands is the first flag
Then sleeping together too soon or on first visit
And demanding visa
And disrespecting ur values and dignity
Only a few off these online hotel other country's meeting work
I have a few friends that met online and in other country
And they are so much happy
But some have divorced as soon as 5 years are up or they get their citizenship.
Cultures religions can live happy together even in marraige
It's not always lack off awareness but the person that runs goes back to their country and marrys a cousin or u suddenly get divorce papers when the person has only visited country
So it's not always culture / religions that causes divorces just because your Arabic tunisian muslim man makes u a bad abusive person it's not always ,its actually how u love respect the woman u will marry without respect there is no love .
Same here we are one big melting pot of races, religions and ethnicities
So how do the rats call us RACISTS?
Who said I was a white lady myself?
There are people in my family that are mixed race so how does anyone come up with that?
the rats all generalize us as old, unattractive and so much else nasty when we ended it
so what does that make the rats?

Well when you tell the truth about a Tunisian Love Rat they got to say something to deflect from
all the bad they have done.
Notice we never said Tunisian people, even Tunisians are scammed by the rats
so think about it?
 

Astarisborn

Major Ratslayer
I talked with a Middle Eastern man the other day, he said
about the Tunisian rats that these are the ones that are in
all the bad things and he lived in Europe, and he is ARAB so tell me is that racist
from him?
He said he worked hard all his life and never seen such laziness from these rats!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I talked with a Middle Eastern man the other day, he said
about the Tunisian rats that these are the ones that are in
all the bad things and he lived in Europe, and he is ARAB so tell me is that racist
from him?
He said he worked hard all his life and never seen such laziness from these rats!
Nope it’s just an honest person! Telling the truth about the rats!!!! Lazy as hell
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
Same here we are one big melting pot of races, religions and ethnicities
So how do the rats call us RACISTS?
Who said I was a white lady myself?
There are people in my family that are mixed race so how does anyone come up with that?
the rats all generalize us as old, unattractive and so much else nasty when we ended it
so what does that make the rats?

Well when you tell the truth about a Tunisian Love Rat they got to say something to deflect from
all the bad they have done.
Notice we never said Tunisian people, even Tunisians are scammed by the rats
so think about it?
Your right even in my family we have mixed race marraiages
So how dare they use the racist card as soon as truth is told about them
But they do as a way off us being blamed
But the rats don't realise we have screen shots recordings videos and proof off everything else
Ratshitters der prove the racist game you just concocted to deflect away from ur wring doings
U can't because while u were vile devious we were perfect but we found out the game u were trying to play
U lost the game ratty
So shut the **** up ratty !!
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
I talked with a Middle Eastern man the other day, he said
about the Tunisian rats that these are the ones that are in
all the bad things and he lived in Europe, and he is ARAB so tell me is that racist
from him?
He said he worked hard all his life and never seen such laziness from these rats!
That's the same from our Muslim taxi drivers they hate the way the arabic tunisians use women for visa then
divorce
And are idle shit stirrers
They say only few that come here are trustworthy and work hard
I know .my friends Tunisian husband works hard and his money goes to the family he created
He says why I marry to send all my money home
My money for my wife and children
True words spoken.
Theve been married 15 years .
 

Astarisborn

Major Ratslayer
That's the same from our Muslim taxi drivers they hate the way the arabic tunisians use women for visa then
divorce
And are idle shit stirrers
They say only few that come here are trustworthy and work hard
I know .my friends Tunisian husband works hard and his money goes to the family he created
He says why I marry to send all my money home
My money for my wife and children
True words spoken.
Theve been married 15 years .
Here's the hypocrisy from the rat, from the beginning before they even met us
they were destined to marry their first cousin , if their first cousin and her family
don't think they are marriage material because they find the rat's reputation
is bad who is racist in that scenario?
If the rat then tries to marry one of his friends sisters, still nothing does that mean
his friends are racist?
Before the rats meet you believe me they have tried to marry within the family
and social circle
we were like their last resort but we did not know that, its sadly all about the rat
and his lack of money
once he gets the money, visa and everything else he will be marrying who his family wants him to

oh but we call them out the same as the friends sisters parents
for what they do and we are racists
first of all why did we even bother with the rats in the first place if we were racists?
and they generalize us as all based on nationality and categorize us so who are they then to be biased like that??
 
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Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
What are we supposed to be racist against? The fact they are Arabs? We knew this when we met them. The fact they are Muslim? Pretty sure we were aware of this too. The fact that one Tunisian is darker than another? No I think that’s on them! I have dated African American men so no that can’t be it hmmmm maybe we are racist against them or any other nationality that lies, cheats and takes our money like we owe it to them!??! So this racist thing is flat out strange to me!
 

Astarisborn

Major Ratslayer
What are we supposed to be racist against? The fact they are Arabs? We knew this when we met them. The fact they are Muslim? Pretty sure we were aware of this too. The fact that one Tunisian is darker than another? No I think that’s on them! I have dated African American men so no that can’t be it hmmmm maybe we are racist against them or any other nationality that lies, cheats and takes our money like we owe it to them!??! So this racist thing is flat out strange to me!
It's called deflection to take away the accountability for their bad actions and put it onto someone else.
when nothing else works they use the race card
and it has absolutely nothing to do with race
but that's their illogical defense
we have to remember they never own up or admit to their bad actions, so what better way to feel
like the victim and get away from feeling guilty about the bad they do
 
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Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
Here's the hypocrisy from the rat, from the beginning before they even met us
they were destined to marry their first cousin , if their first cousin and her family
don't think they are marriage material because they find the rat's reputation
is bad who is racist in that scenario?
If the rat then tries to marry one of his friends sisters, still nothing does that mean
his friends are racist?
Before the rats meet you believe me they have tried to marry within the family
and social circle
we were like their last resort but we did not know that, its sadly all about the rat
and his lack of money
once he gets the money, visa and everything else he will be marrying who his family wants him to

oh but we call them out the same as the friends sisters parents
for what they do and we are racists
first of all why did we even bother with the rats in the first place if we were racists?
and they generalize us as all based on nationality and categorize us so who are they then to be biased like that??
That's true these are dregs off Tunisian society
They are called this because like u say they have no money no good job prospects and no social status
So they find western woman or man
And court them stay with them promise a life of eternal love, children they will never leave work hard for u and be with u till death
Instead they are building up egg nest taking your money to help build it too
All stored in a Tunisian bank account
After gaining last off visa or their citizenship
Off they will go with the brand new car u bought bank account full
Tunisian bank account full
Off to the country they hate to marry the cousin thats bern waiting for years
Money new car is social status in tunisa no matter how u got that money ur a rich catch and the cousins eyes are spinning Dinas
Don't underestimate the slimy sneaky bastard rats
They will leave children and bleed u dry to marry Muslim cousin and make the family popular !!!!
 
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