Help – I don’t want to be another victim, but…

[taleo528]

Hi everyone. I hope you’re all doing well. Before I begin, thank you in advance for taking the time to read this post and for the guidance that may be provided.

I’m not sure where to begin… I feel as though I have so much to share. I guess I’ll begin with the most recent event as it’s weighing heavily on my mind.

I met him back in August/September 2021 on IG – I’m sure this is a red flag already. He was in a relationship [with a Tunisian] when we met, and I was involved with someone as well. We started as friends, had great conversations, laughed a lot, shared music constantly… he was literally just a great friend before becoming more to me, and we connected well.

A lot has happened since then. Back in August 2022, he began training for the National Guard. We weren’t talking at the time, but he tried contacting me several times via friends, family, other accounts, etc. I eventually received a message from him via a friend’s account and decided to exchange messages with him from his own account. He told me about the National Guard, how challenging training was for him, going home on weekends, etc. Side note: I’m very proud of him for joining the National Guard. His life didn’t have much direction, and I know he was miserable. He’s expressed relief, happiness, finally being filled with pride.

Moving on… we started exchanging messages each weekend beginning the first week of December 2022. The conversations were just casual… I had a wall up and refused to be vulnerable. I gave in at some point, without persuasion from him. I can’t even blame him for anything at that point.

I want to share more details, but long story short… he’s been in training since the end of August 2022. Training will supposedly end in March 2023. He goes home on weekends and says he can’t use his phone during the week. He usually gets home on a Friday afternoon (his time) and leaves Sunday morning (his time). He told me yesterday we can’t be together. He said he shouldn’t even be communicating with me because I’m a foreigner (American). I’m not saying I would do this BUT I took the discussion to another level because I wanted to know how he’d respond. I told him I would renounce my citizenship, become an expat, etc. just to be with him. He basically said it would be impossible. There are more details, but I’m kind of looking for some type of response ASAP. My anxiety is through the roof with this one.

Again, thank you.

 

[Yvonne]

Hi everyone. I hope you’re all doing well. Before I begin, thank you in advance for taking the time to read this post and for the guidance that may be provided.

I’m not sure where to begin… I feel as though I have so much to share. I guess I’ll begin with the most recent event as it’s weighing heavily on my mind.

I met him back in August/September 2021 on IG – I’m sure this is a red flag already. He was in a relationship [with a Tunisian] when we met, and I was involved with someone as well. We started as friends, had great conversations, laughed a lot, shared music constantly… he was literally just a great friend before becoming more to me, and we connected well.

A lot has happened since then. Back in August 2022, he began training for the National Guard. We weren’t talking at the time, but he tried contacting me several times via friends, family, other accounts, etc. I eventually received a message from him via a friend’s account and decided to exchange messages with him from his own account. He told me about the National Guard, how challenging training was for him, going home on weekends, etc. Side note: I’m very proud of him for joining the National Guard. His life didn’t have much direction, and I know he was miserable. He’s expressed relief, happiness, finally being filled with pride.

Moving on… we started exchanging messages each weekend beginning the first week of December 2022. The conversations were just casual… I had a wall up and refused to be vulnerable. I gave in at some point, without persuasion from him. I can’t even blame him for anything at that point.

I want to share more details, but long story short… he’s been in training since the end of August 2022. Training will supposedly end in March 2023. He goes home on weekends and says he can’t use his phone during the week. He usually gets home on a Friday afternoon (his time) and leaves Sunday morning (his time). He told me yesterday we can’t be together. He said he shouldn’t even be communicating with me because I’m a foreigner (American). I’m not saying I would do this BUT I took the discussion to another level because I wanted to know how he’d respond. I told him I would renounce my citizenship, become an expat, etc. just to be with him. He basically said it would be impossible. There are more details, but I’m kind of looking for some type of response ASAP. My anxiety is through the roof with this one.

Again, thank you.

Welcome here @taleo528. It's basically an on-line communication then. You never met him and you are willing to give up everything for a man you never met
He could be nice and sweet now but how is he in every day to day life?
Being in the National Guard is a common thing rats use when another victim is visiting them. Who knows if it's true? Don't believe him at face value.
Have you searched for his name here or looked through the media section?
Here's a link from the forum for you to read:

IF ITS YOUR FIRST TIME HERE - READ THIS

Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier. So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post. Firstly become a member, you can access...

www.tunisianloverats.com

Yvonne xxx

 

[Sabrina]

Hi everyone. I hope you’re all doing well. Before I begin, thank you in advance for taking the time to read this post and for the guidance that may be provided.

I’m not sure where to begin… I feel as though I have so much to share. I guess I’ll begin with the most recent event as it’s weighing heavily on my mind.

I met him back in August/September 2021 on IG – I’m sure this is a red flag already. He was in a relationship [with a Tunisian] when we met, and I was involved with someone as well. We started as friends, had great conversations, laughed a lot, shared music constantly… he was literally just a great friend before becoming more to me, and we connected well.

A lot has happened since then. Back in August 2022, he began training for the National Guard. We weren’t talking at the time, but he tried contacting me several times via friends, family, other accounts, etc. I eventually received a message from him via a friend’s account and decided to exchange messages with him from his own account. He told me about the National Guard, how challenging training was for him, going home on weekends, etc. Side note: I’m very proud of him for joining the National Guard. His life didn’t have much direction, and I know he was miserable. He’s expressed relief, happiness, finally being filled with pride.

Moving on… we started exchanging messages each weekend beginning the first week of December 2022. The conversations were just casual… I had a wall up and refused to be vulnerable. I gave in at some point, without persuasion from him. I can’t even blame him for anything at that point.

I want to share more details, but long story short… he’s been in training since the end of August 2022. Training will supposedly end in March 2023. He goes home on weekends and says he can’t use his phone during the week. He usually gets home on a Friday afternoon (his time) and leaves Sunday morning (his time). He told me yesterday we can’t be together. He said he shouldn’t even be communicating with me because I’m a foreigner (American). I’m not saying I would do this BUT I took the discussion to another level because I wanted to know how he’d respond. I told him I would renounce my citizenship, become an expat, etc. just to be with him. He basically said it would be impossible. There are more details, but I’m kind of looking for some type of response ASAP. My anxiety is through the roof with this one.

Again, thank you.

Hi and welcome I hope we can give you some clear advice. The National guard I think, and I’m assuming he is from Tunisia? I think all of our rats used this to get money so they wouldn’t have to go in. (Cowards) so you said he tried talking to you from several accts, did you block him out something at the time? He may be waiting for you to say something like getting him a visa to you. Or do you know for sure if he is finished with his relationship? These guys are so tricky it’s very hard to read them exactly at first anyways . So why is he trying so hard to communicate with you if he says he shouldn’t? Why didn’t he leave it alone? This is fishy, and you say you have in without persuasion from him.?.. they have a way believe me.

 

[taleo528]

Welcome here @taleo528. It's basically an on-line communication then. You never met him and you are willing to give up everything for a man you never met
He could be nice and sweet now but how is he in every day to day life?
Being in the National Guard is a common thing rats use when another victim is visiting them. Who knows if it's true? Don't believe him at face value.
Have you searched for his name here or looked through the media section?
Here's a link from the forum for you to read:

IF ITS YOUR FIRST TIME HERE - READ THIS

Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier. So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post. Firstly become a member, you can access...

www.tunisianloverats.com

Yvonne xxx

Hi Yvonne. Thank you for responding and providing the link. I did read through some things but haven’t checked out all pinned threads yet. So… I wouldn’t uproot my life for him, especially because we haven’t met. I would need to know much more and actually spend time with him before making such a life altering decision. I only presented that to him to see how he would respond. I guess I should have been clearer, my apologies. I’m mostly wondering if the things he said regarding the National Guard, weekends, not being able to talk/be together are truthful at all.

 

[taleo528]

Hi and welcome I hope we can give you some clear advice. The National guard I think, and I’m assuming he is from Tunisia? I think all of our rats used this to get money so they wouldn’t have to go in. (Cowards) so you said he tried talking to you from several accts, did you block him out something at the time? He may be waiting for you to say something like getting him a visa to you. Or do you know for sure if he is finished with his relationship? These guys are so tricky it’s very hard to read them exactly at first anyways . So why is he trying so hard to communicate with you if he says he shouldn’t? Why didn’t he leave it alone? This is fishy, and you say you have in without persuasion from him.?.. they have a way believe me.

Hi. Thank you for responding. Yes, he’s from Tunisia and in training with the National Guard. We were in a brief relationship, I ended things and ever since then he’s been trying to get in contact with me. Yes, he was blocked from every outlet possible. We did talk a handful of times between April-July 2022 but I made it clear I was angry with him. I needed time to heal. He lied about stupid things – travel, living comfortably, etc. He’s never asked or suggested he needed money. The ex girlfriend… that ended in November 2021 and she’s actually married now. She moved on quickly after their relationship ended and got engaged. I’m sorry, I know this is all over the place. As far as a visa is concerned… we previously discussed meeting and seeing where things go but nothing like that came up in discussions. I loved him and still do. We’ve spent countless hours communicating throughout the time we’ve known each other. Of course I’m going to sound naive, but maybe he tried to contact me all those times because he does love me? I don’t want to be one of those women that think their Tunisian is different… but aside from the National Guard and supposedly not being able to communicate and be with me, he hasn’t shown many red flags, except for the stupid lies.

 

[taleo528]

Welcome here @taleo528. It's basically an on-line communication then. You never met him and you are willing to give up everything for a man you never met
He could be nice and sweet now but how is he in every day to day life?
Being in the National Guard is a common thing rats use when another victim is visiting them. Who knows if it's true? Don't believe him at face value.
Have you searched for his name here or looked through the media section?
Here's a link from the forum for you to read:

IF ITS YOUR FIRST TIME HERE - READ THIS

Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier. So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post. Firstly become a member, you can access...

www.tunisianloverats.com

Yvonne xxx

Yvonne – I did search media and the forums for his name, location, other possible names, etc. I also looked through all the photos and didn’t see him.

 

[Sabrina]

Hi. Thank you for responding. Yes, he’s from Tunisia and in training with the National Guard. We were in a brief relationship, I ended things and ever since then he’s been trying to get in contact with me. Yes, he was blocked from every outlet possible. We did talk a handful of times between April-July 2022 but I made it clear I was angry with him. I needed time to heal. He lied about stupid things – travel, living comfortably, etc. He’s never asked or suggested he needed money. The ex girlfriend… that ended in November 2021 and she’s actually married now. She moved on quickly after their relationship ended and got engaged. I’m sorry, I know this is all over the place. As far as a visa is concerned… we previously discussed meeting and seeing where things go but nothing like that came up in discussions. I loved him and still do. We’ve spent countless hours communicating throughout the time we’ve known each other. Of course I’m going to sound naive, but maybe he tried to contact me all those times because he does love me? I don’t want to be one of those women that think their Tunisian is different… but aside from the National Guard and supposedly not being able to communicate and be with me, he hasn’t shown many red flags, except for the stupid lies.

That’s just it the lies are not good! They all lie and why?? I thought mine loved me too I think we all did honestly, mine was one of the more gentle ones on here meaning he wasn’t abusive except for a couple of times verbally. We all want to think ours loved us. I never got blocked but blocked him all Tthe time but he would always get to me and I’d go back. But believe me they never stop lying it’s a matter of time before you will find out what it is he wants from you. I did hear somewhere on here they could use their phones while there maybe not to video chat or for long periods, I could be mistaken but I think I heard this. With these guys it’sa guessing game but they are messing with your true feelings. The fact that you are here looking for answers shows you have doubts, follow your gut not your heart with these guys..1 in 100 are true

 

[Yvonne]

As far as I know members of the police and National Guard are not allowed to date tourists.
He told you lies, you blocked him and tried to be in contact again. Why? If he knew he would not be allowed to be with you.
Keep reading here I'm sure you will recognize many stories that resembles your story

Yvonne xxx

 

[taleo528]

That’s just it the lies are not good! They all lie and why?? I thought mine loved me too I think we all did honestly, mine was one of the more gentle ones on here meaning he wasn’t abusive except for a couple of times verbally. We all want to think ours loved us. I never got blocked but blocked him all Tthe time but he would always get to me and I’d go back. But believe me they never stop lying it’s a matter of time before you will find out what it is he wants from you. I did hear somewhere on here they could use their phones while there maybe not to video chat or for long periods, I could be mistaken but I think I heard this. With these guys it’sa guessing game but they are messing with your true feelings. The fact that you are here looking for answers shows you have doubts, follow your gut not your heart with these guys..1 in 100 are true

Hi Sabrina. Thank you for responding. I’m sorry you had to go through your experience. Agreed – mine is definitely gentle and hasn’t been verbally abusive. He would sometimes become upset or angry with things outside of our [previous] relationship but never with me. And agreed again – clearly I’m here for a reason. I think I’m mostly here because aside from the stupid lies, he hasn’t been one giant walking red flag, so… now that this situation has come up, my mind is spiraling. I do need to follow my gut, just as soon as my heart settles down. Thank you again.

 

[taleo528]

As far as I know members of the police and National Guard are not allowed to date tourists.
He told you lies, you blocked him and tried to be in contact again. Why? If he knew he would not be allowed to be with you.
Keep reading here I'm sure you will recognize many stories that resembles your story

Yvonne xxx

Okay, that helps then, thank you.

See… that’s the thing – if he can’t be with me, why is he still in contact with me? I’ve come to two possible conclusions – I’m just at his disposal for the time being, to keep him fulfilled emotionally, to have that companionship on weekends and all that, until he’s able to fully provide for a Tunisian woman. Or the naive conclusion – maybe he does care about me and selfishly wants to keep me around, for now.

I’m actively reading and poking around. I’m hoping to see a similar story or something that strikes a nerve.

 

[Butterflies]

Hi @taleo528 welcome to the forum. Reading through your posts here and I think you need to take a step back. Relax and read up about tunisian culture and traditions. Most bezness relationships start online or via visiting tunisia while you are on holiday.
You used Instagram for communicating with him.
Search for other social media from him. Facebook, Twitter, tiktok... Anything you can find out about him will be useful.
Most tunisian rats have multiple social media. Are you sure his tunisian girlfriend is married or did she back off so he could persue you? He left her after you 2 met on-line. There are stories from rats who where married but still had a relationship with a foreign woman with the approval from the Tunisian wife/girlfriend.
Some of these rats their Facebook acounts have different names, click on the 3 dots on Facebook to see if it really is his real name.
Do your research, ask a friend to search for his name because if he has another acount you will be blocked from it.
Alot of info for you but remember it's normal in Tunisia when a man wants to be with you, his family will research the woman in question

 

[Sabrina]

Hi Sabrina. Thank you for responding. I’m sorry you had to go through your experience. Agreed – mine is definitely gentle and hasn’t been verbally abusive. He would sometimes become upset or angry with things outside of our [previous] relationship but never with me. And agreed again – clearly I’m here for a reason. I think I’m mostly here because aside from the stupid lies, he hasn’t been one giant walking red flag, so… now that this situation has come up, my mind is spiraling. I do need to follow my gut, just as soon as my heart settles down. Thank you again.

We just do not want to see another lady hurt by these guys. It’s good that he is not a huge red flag but that makes it even harder. My experience was so minimal compared to some but thank you! I’m so sorry your heart is so involved! Looking back I’m sure you wished you had never reopened your conversation with him. They can really be so sneaky and reel you in without your knowledge. I hope you find peace in whatever happens. So I’m American also but didn’t seem to phase mine, maybe yours is honestly into his religion and culture, mine is just a flat out rat but I think we had something special for a minute… But who knows

 

[taleo528]

Hi @taleo528 welcome to the forum. Reading through your posts here and I think you need to take a step back. Relax and read up about tunisian culture and traditions. Most bezness relationships start online or via visiting tunisia while you are on holiday.
You used Instagram for communicating with him.
Search for other social media from him. Facebook, Twitter, tiktok... Anything you can find out about him will be useful.
Most tunisian rats have multiple social media. Are you sure his tunisian girlfriend is married or did she back off so he could persue you? He left her after you 2 met on-line. There are stories from rats who where married but still had a relationship with a foreign woman with the approval from the Tunisian wife/girlfriend.
Some of these rats their Facebook acounts have different names, click on the 3 dots on Facebook to see if it really is his real name.
Do your research, ask a friend to search for his name because if he has another acount you will be blocked from it.
Alot of info for you but remember it's normal in Tunisia when a man wants to be with you, his family will research the woman in question

Hi Butterflies! Thank you for responding.

I will take the time to read up on culture and traditions. I’ve learned some things but not nearly enough.

So… we were connected on a handful of social media platforms, until I blocked him. I have been super sleuthing all over the place! He has more than one Facebook and I did check the dots – same name. He uses one to play games, doesn’t have friends, doesn’t follow anyone… but I know that doesn’t mean anything. Before leaving for training, he deactivated his main account on Facebook – the one with family, friends, etc. but is still using Messenger. We were connected on TikTok and Snapchat. I’ve searched for his name many ways, including nicknames from family and friends. I’ve looked at friends’ lists on Facebook to see if he has other accounts… I feel like I’ve done it all but could definitely be missing something.

I’m fully confident his ex isn’t in the picture. I found her Facebook – and it wasn’t easy – but she has about 3-4 visible engagement photos. Her now husband has similar photos. Unless it’s all a setup, I don’t think she’s been in the picture since 2021.

I’m going to ask a friend to look for him as well. Sadly, if he’s a rat, he’s really good at covering his tracks.

All the info is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Also, his mother previously wanted to know more about me, back in early 2022… and has recently expressed concern over him speaking with me again given the fact that he supposedly shouldn’t even be in contact with me.

 

[Butterflies]

Hi Butterflies! Thank you for responding.

I will take the time to read up on culture and traditions. I’ve learned some things but not nearly enough.

So… we were connected on a handful of social media platforms, until I blocked him. I have been super sleuthing all over the place! He has more than one Facebook and I did check the dots – same name. He uses one to play games, doesn’t have friends, doesn’t follow anyone… but I know that doesn’t mean anything. Before leaving for training, he deactivated his main account on Facebook – the one with family, friends, etc. but is still using Messenger. We were connected on TikTok and Snapchat. I’ve searched for his name many ways, including nicknames from family and friends. I’ve looked at friends’ lists on Facebook to see if he has other accounts… I feel like I’ve done it all but could definitely be missing something.

I’m fully confident his ex isn’t in the picture. I found her Facebook – and it wasn’t easy – but she has about 3-4 visible engagement photos. Her now husband has similar photos. Unless it’s all a setup, I don’t think she’s been in the picture since 2021.

I’m going to ask a friend to look for him as well. Sadly, if he’s a rat, he’s really good at covering his tracks.

All the info is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Also, his mother previously wanted to know more about me, back in early 2022… and has recently expressed concern over him speaking with me again given the fact that he supposedly shouldn’t even be in contact with me.

Hi taleo528 you've done research that's great. You blocked him in the past and unblocked him. He deactivated his main acount and only uses messenger. Maybe you are blocked from that acount and not on messenger?
His mother asking about you doesn't mean she likes you or wants to know you. My rat his mother waved kisses at me via video link and loved me and she never met me.
Rats lie about anything and if it's a rat family they all are in on it. Bezness is a sneeky vile game and they can play it very well.
Here's a link for you to read it explains bezness in Tunisia and it's an eye opener.

Tunisia Love 2020: Love and Bezness in Tunisia - Relationship & Marriage - Bezness in Tunisia - Tunisian men and western women - Online Bezness

Binational Love and Relationships with Tunisian men and women, Tunisia Religion and Family, Man, woman and child in Tunisia, Tunisia Marriage, Online Bezness

www.tunisia-love.com

 

[Fleur1]

Hi. Thank you for responding. Yes, he’s from Tunisia and in training with the National Guard. We were in a brief relationship, I ended things and ever since then he’s been trying to get in contact with me. Yes, he was blocked from every outlet possible. We did talk a handful of times between April-July 2022 but I made it clear I was angry with him. I needed time to heal. He lied about stupid things – travel, living comfortably, etc. He’s never asked or suggested he needed money. The ex girlfriend… that ended in November 2021 and she’s actually married now. She moved on quickly after their relationship ended and got engaged. I’m sorry, I know this is all over the place. As far as a visa is concerned… we previously discussed meeting and seeing where things go but nothing like that came up in discussions. I loved him and still do. We’ve spent countless hours communicating throughout the time we’ve known each other. Of course I’m going to sound naive, but maybe he tried to contact me all those times because he does love me? I don’t want to be one of those women that think their Tunisian is different… but aside from the National Guard and supposedly not being able to communicate and be with me, he hasn’t shown many red flags, except for the stupid lies.

I was involved with a National Guard member over almost 4 years - It is not true that he cannot contact you during the week - Maybe now and again because of a particular ‘mission’, but that’s it………….But to be honest, you should save yourself the heartbreak and cut your losses now…………..

 

[taleo528]

We just do not want to see another lady hurt by these guys. It’s good that he is not a huge red flag but that makes it even harder. My experience was so minimal compared to some but thank you! I’m so sorry your heart is so involved! Looking back I’m sure you wished you had never reopened your conversation with him. They can really be so sneaky and reel you in without your knowledge. I hope you find peace in whatever happens. So I’m American also but didn’t seem to phase mine, maybe yours is honestly into his religion and culture, mine is just a flat out rat but I think we had something special for a minute… But who knows

Unfortunately, my heart already hurts. My eyes are swollen from crying. I hate feeling like I’ve just been gaslit for the last month+.

Yes, exactly – the lack of red flags makes this so difficult! I can’t begin to tell you how many times my mind has wondered if he’s part of the small percentage of genuine Tunisian men. I’ve also wondered if all this did begin as a scam but resulted in actual feelings on his end. Silly, I know…
I wish I didn’t open the messages from his friend’s IG. I was just so proud that he finally decided to do something of value with his life. He lost his job at the gym after it closed and had zero direction. He’s so intelligent and finally feels positive about his future. And maybe that’s it! Maybe he ended things because he doesn’t need me anymore. Although, he just sent a message over an hour ago from a friend’s IG at the training base… he did the same last week. If he’s being truthful about not being able to use a phone, his friend is a fool for sneaking in his phone. It could be his phone but logged into his friend’s IG, as a deterrent… that feels like a lot of effort, but rats are clearly extra.

You’re so kind, thank you! I hope you’ve found peace and have healed from your experience.

I’m on the same page… as naive as it sounds, I think we have/had something special as well. Isn’t that what they do, though? They somehow make us believe we’re different and special and not like the rest of the foreigners.

 

[taleo528]

I was involved with a National Guard member over almost 4 years - It is not true that he cannot contact you during the week - Maybe now and again because of a particular ‘mission’, but that’s it………….But to be honest, you should save yourself the heartbreak and cut your losses now…………..

Hi Fleur1. Thank you for responding!

This is good to know, thank you. He doesn’t graduate until March – do you know if this remains true for training as well?

I’m already heartbroken… but I certainly don’t want to cause myself more pain. I don’t want to ghost him, but he won’t be in my life much longer.

 

[Sabrina]

Unfortunately, my heart already hurts. My eyes are swollen from crying. I hate feeling like I’ve just been gaslit for the last month+.

Yes, exactly – the lack of red flags makes this so difficult! I can’t begin to tell you how many times my mind has wondered if he’s part of the small percentage of genuine Tunisian men. I’ve also wondered if all this did begin as a scam but resulted in actual feelings on his end. Silly, I know…
I wish I didn’t open the messages from his friend’s IG. I was just so proud that he finally decided to do something of value with his life. He lost his job at the gym after it closed and had zero direction. He’s so intelligent and finally feels positive about his future. And maybe that’s it! Maybe he ended things because he doesn’t need me anymore. Although, he just sent a message over an hour ago from a friend’s IG at the training base… he did the same last week. If he’s being truthful about not being able to use a phone, his friend is a fool for sneaking in his phone. It could be his phone but logged into his friend’s IG, as a deterrent… that feels like a lot of effort, but rats are clearly extra.

You’re so kind, thank you! I hope you’ve found peace and have healed from your experience.

I’m on the same page… as naive as it sounds, I think we have/had something special as well. Isn’t that what they do, though? They somehow make us believe we’re different and special and not like the rest of the foreigners.

I’m so sorry you are already hurt! Tell me is it Because of his religion or culture that the mom is concerned? I can tell you they hate it when you block them they will go to any extent to get in touch with you. Has he told you he loved you? Ours did like about the first week which may not mean anything but as you read on here you will see their patterns. Don’t cry just try to stay strong and just read and pay attention to what he does. But if he is a rat you will see on here what to expect… hopefully he will slip up sooner then later to not drag your heart on and on. Are you both the same age? If you ask me they all should take advantage of the National guard maybe it would make them more of a man.. hang in there

 

[taleo528]

Hi taleo528 you've done research that's great. You blocked him in the past and unblocked him. He deactivated his main acount and only uses messenger. Maybe you are blocked from that acount and not on messenger?
His mother asking about you doesn't mean she likes you or wants to know you. My rat his mother waved kisses at me via video link and loved me and she never met me.
Rats lie about anything and if it's a rat family they all are in on it. Bezness is a sneeky vile game and they can play it very well.
Here's a link for you to read it explains bezness in Tunisia and it's an eye opener.

Tunisia Love 2020: Love and Bezness in Tunisia - Relationship & Marriage - Bezness in Tunisia - Tunisian men and western women - Online Bezness

Binational Love and Relationships with Tunisian men and women, Tunisia Religion and Family, Man, woman and child in Tunisia, Tunisia Marriage, Online Bezness

www.tunisia-love.com

I had him blocked on both Facebook and Messenger. I don’t know if he would still be able to block me? I think this would be possible if he had a conversation saved or archived but otherwise, I’m not sure.

Right, I understand. I really don’t know why she asked about me. It sounds like your rat’s Mom may have been part of the whole thing?

Thank you for the link. I’ll read through everything.

 

[taleo528]

I’m so sorry you are already hurt! Tell me is it Because of his religion or culture that the mom is concerned? I can tell you they hate it when you block them they will go to any extent to get in touch with you. Has he told you he loved you? Ours did like about the first week which may not mean anything but as you read on here you will see their patterns. Don’t cry just try to stay strong and just read and pay attention to what he does. But if he is a rat you will see on here what to expect… hopefully he will slip up sooner then later to not drag your heart on and on. Are you both the same age? If you ask me they all should take advantage of the National guard maybe it would make them more of a man.. hang in there

Thank you. I’ll be okay in time, fingers crossed!

So… apparently, because he’s in training for the National Guard, he shouldn’t be talking to me and of course not continuing a relationship with me. We were on a video call one night and his Mom asked who he was talking to – I didn’t know this until the following weekend when he got home. I guess she spoke with him before he left. She supposedly expressed concern… but now I’m thinking that was him planting the initial seed. We stopped talking on IG and moved to another app. It all happened so quickly that I had to stop and think about everything. Now I’m here…

I have this strange connection with him… I always know when I’m weighing heavily on his mind. I changed my IG bio a few times and each time, my gut would tell me to check his IG - via my blocked list – and found that he updated his bio to match mine every time.

One week? Wow… and yes, he told me he loved me 4+ months after our first day talking. That’s the thing… he didn’t love bomb me. We had an actual friendship – it was real for me anyway.

I’m trying my best, but the tears just flow on their own.

He did break up with me before leaving this weekend, but then he contacted me from training this afternoon. Supposedly can’t have his phone but was using someone else’s that they snuck in – right, okay. But what’s so strange… he sent a video of himself and all the guys in the room, as once viewable on IG, and not one other person was using a phone. I made sure to check quickly! There was about 10-12 guys and not one was using a phone? That just makes it seem like he’s being truthful about phone usage.

No, I’m older than him by 8 years. I know, red flag. Never married here, no kids.

Agreed! They should all join, at least for some time! It could just be an act, I don’t want to sound too naive… but he has done a complete 180. He’s so happy and so proud of himself. His life means something to him now, having joined. I don’t think he’s a bad person… I think he has a big heart and has done some things he frowns upon now.

But the bottom line is that he’s probably a rat… even if he does low key care about me.

I’m so sorry for all the insanely long posts! This is really helping, though, putting it all out there.

 

[Butterflies]

Thank you. I’ll be okay in time, fingers crossed!

So… apparently, because he’s in training for the National Guard, he shouldn’t be talking to me and of course not continuing a relationship with me. We were on a video call one night and his Mom asked who he was talking to – I didn’t know this until the following weekend when he got home. I guess she spoke with him before he left. She supposedly expressed concern… but now I’m thinking that was him planting the initial seed. We stopped talking on IG and moved to another app. It all happened so quickly that I had to stop and think about everything. Now I’m here…

I have this strange connection with him… I always know when I’m weighing heavily on his mind. I changed my IG bio a few times and each time, my gut would tell me to check his IG - via my blocked list – and found that he updated his bio to match mine every time.

One week? Wow… and yes, he told me he loved me 4+ months after our first day talking. That’s the thing… he didn’t love bomb me. We had an actual friendship – it was real for me anyway.

I’m trying my best, but the tears just flow on their own.

He did break up with me before leaving this weekend, but then he contacted me from training this afternoon. Supposedly can’t have his phone but was using someone else’s that they snuck in – right, okay. But what’s so strange… he sent a video of himself and all the guys in the room, as once viewable on IG, and not one other person was using a phone. I made sure to check quickly! There was about 10-12 guys and not one was using a phone? That just makes it seem like he’s being truthful about phone usage.

No, I’m older than him by 8 years. I know, red flag. Never married here, no kids.

Agreed! They should all join, at least for some time! It could just be an act, I don’t want to sound too naive… but he has done a complete 180. He’s so happy and so proud of himself. His life means something to him now, having joined. I don’t think he’s a bad person… I think he has a big heart and has done some things he frowns upon now.

But the bottom line is that he’s probably a rat… even if he does low key care about me.

I’m so sorry for all the insanely long posts! This is really helping, though, putting it all out there.

Don't feel sorry about long posts, we all know how you are feeling. You've written a red flag , you are 8 years older that's not acceptable in tunisia
It's confusing, it's heartbreaking, you just can't believe it all could be a lie what he is saying. His mom said something, and I suppose he told you what she said or do you understand tunisian language?
He can tell you what he wants there's no way of knowing he tells you the truth. He sounds happier, he looks happier because of his training for the national guard. Maybe because he knows he has you? A future wife and visa.
It's alot to take in and I'm sure you feel lost. Not knowing who to believe or what to do. Do you have family or friends where you can share your feelings about it all?
You are thinking with your heart and not your mind. You are in love and it blurs your rational thinking
A long distance relationship is hard and difficult. A completely other culture, religion. We are here for you in every step you take @taleo825

 

[Sabrina]

Thank you. I’ll be okay in time, fingers crossed!

So… apparently, because he’s in training for the National Guard, he shouldn’t be talking to me and of course not continuing a relationship with me. We were on a video call one night and his Mom asked who he was talking to – I didn’t know this until the following weekend when he got home. I guess she spoke with him before he left. She supposedly expressed concern… but now I’m thinking that was him planting the initial seed. We stopped talking on IG and moved to another app. It all happened so quickly that I had to stop and think about everything. Now I’m here…

I have this strange connection with him… I always know when I’m weighing heavily on his mind. I changed my IG bio a few times and each time, my gut would tell me to check his IG - via my blocked list – and found that he updated his bio to match mine every time.

One week? Wow… and yes, he told me he loved me 4+ months after our first day talking. That’s the thing… he didn’t love bomb me. We had an actual friendship – it was real for me anyway.

I’m trying my best, but the tears just flow on their own.

He did break up with me before leaving this weekend, but then he contacted me from training this afternoon. Supposedly can’t have his phone but was using someone else’s that they snuck in – right, okay. But what’s so strange… he sent a video of himself and all the guys in the room, as once viewable on IG, and not one other person was using a phone. I made sure to check quickly! There was about 10-12 guys and not one was using a phone? That just makes it seem like he’s being truthful about phone usage.

No, I’m older than him by 8 years. I know, red flag. Never married here, no kids.

Agreed! They should all join, at least for some time! It could just be an act, I don’t want to sound too naive… but he has done a complete 180. He’s so happy and so proud of himself. His life means something to him now, having joined. I don’t think he’s a bad person… I think he has a big heart and has done some things he frowns upon now.

But the bottom line is that he’s probably a rat… even if he does low key care about me.

I’m so sorry for all the insanely long posts! This is really helping, though, putting it all out there.

And this is why we are here, so if he broke up recently do you want to continue being friends? If it hurts I don’t know if I would continue but it is hard and only time away helps. 8yrs is not a lot but the fact his mom is concerned about you being American imagine if she knew you were older! It’s really not in their culture with some exceptions. Pretty sure they can sneak a phone in to use. I know all this plays in your head all the time and you feel for him so it’s hard to let go because you do feel there is something, just don’t want you to drag it on to really be hurt. It’s very hard to get them out of your head and the fact that he keeps showing up, he doesn’t want you to.

 

[Sabrina]

Don't feel sorry about long posts, we all know how you are feeling. You've written a red flag , you are 8 years older that's not acceptable in tunisia
It's confusing, it's heartbreaking, you just can't believe it all could be a lie what he is saying. His mom said something, and I suppose he told you what she said or do you understand tunisian language?
He can tell you what he wants there's no way of knowing he tells you the truth. He sounds happier, he looks happier because of his training for the national guard. Maybe because he knows he has you? A future wife and visa.
It's alot to take in and I'm sure you feel lost. Not knowing who to believe or what to do. Do you have family or friends where you can share your feelings about it all?
You are thinking with your heart and not your mind. You are in love and it blurs your rational thinking
A long distance relationship is hard and difficult. A completely other culture, religion. We are here for you in every step you take @taleo825

Yeah this is another thing.. is he a secret like so many of ours was? Mine basically because he was so much younger and I knew it wasn’t right but continued and being from such a distance .. had a few people to speak my concerns but that’s all.. no help because the true friends would’ve been on to me to STOP

 

[Astarisborn]

Thank you. I’ll be okay in time, fingers crossed!

So… apparently, because he’s in training for the National Guard, he shouldn’t be talking to me and of course not continuing a relationship with me. We were on a video call one night and his Mom asked who he was talking to – I didn’t know this until the following weekend when he got home. I guess she spoke with him before he left. She supposedly expressed concern… but now I’m thinking that was him planting the initial seed. We stopped talking on IG and moved to another app. It all happened so quickly that I had to stop and think about everything. Now I’m here…

I have this strange connection with him… I always know when I’m weighing heavily on his mind. I changed my IG bio a few times and each time, my gut would tell me to check his IG - via my blocked list – and found that he updated his bio to match mine every time.

One week? Wow… and yes, he told me he loved me 4+ months after our first day talking. That’s the thing… he didn’t love bomb me. We had an actual friendship – it was real for me anyway.

I’m trying my best, but the tears just flow on their own.

He did break up with me before leaving this weekend, but then he contacted me from training this afternoon. Supposedly can’t have his phone but was using someone else’s that they snuck in – right, okay. But what’s so strange… he sent a video of himself and all the guys in the room, as once viewable on IG, and not one other person was using a phone. I made sure to check quickly! There was about 10-12 guys and not one was using a phone? That just makes it seem like he’s being truthful about phone usage.

No, I’m older than him by 8 years. I know, red flag. Never married here, no kids.

Agreed! They should all join, at least for some time! It could just be an act, I don’t want to sound too naive… but he has done a complete 180. He’s so happy and so proud of himself. His life means something to him now, having joined. I don’t think he’s a bad person… I think he has a big heart and has done some things he frowns upon now.

But the bottom line is that he’s probably a rat… even if he does low key care about me.

I’m so sorry for all the insanely long posts! This is really helping, though, putting it all out there.

you know to be honest the fact he is in the National Guard or training for it, if you go over there it could be dangerous
I don't think there is any future with this one, except online as supposedly they are not to date tourists etc.
think about it, a rat in the National guard could get away with a lot with a victim.
I would run for the hills if I were you, think about it
and the fact you don't know this one, they fake everything so well
and knowing the laws of Tunisia, who knows what scenarios he has planned for you if you go there

 

[taleo528]

Don't feel sorry about long posts, we all know how you are feeling. You've written a red flag , you are 8 years older that's not acceptable in tunisia
It's confusing, it's heartbreaking, you just can't believe it all could be a lie what he is saying. His mom said something, and I suppose he told you what she said or do you understand tunisian language?
He can tell you what he wants there's no way of knowing he tells you the truth. He sounds happier, he looks happier because of his training for the national guard. Maybe because he knows he has you? A future wife and visa.
It's alot to take in and I'm sure you feel lost. Not knowing who to believe or what to do. Do you have family or friends where you can share your feelings about it all?
You are thinking with your heart and not your mind. You are in love and it blurs your rational thinking
A long distance relationship is hard and difficult. A completely other culture, religion. We are here for you in every step you take @taleo825

Thank you. I’ve calmed down and now just numb.

Yeah, I knew our age difference was a red flag. I knew he was younger but wasn’t sure by how many years initially.

He told me what his Mom said. She questioned him the next day. That’s when she supposedly expressed concern over him speaking with a foreigner because he’s in training.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. He’s been keeping a journal since week 5 of training I believe? And he sent me pictures of some of the entries. There’s mention of me a few times. Now I know the journal could’ve been a scheme and not genuine.

He chose his family over me and will remain there. I told him I wouldn’t have accepted any other decision. He said his parents are so proud, his brothers as well. That’s one thing I do believe – I think he finally feels worthy of his Father’s love.

No, I haven’t spoken with anyone about him. You know how some people love watching 90 Day and act so supportive – until they really dislike someone – but would never be supportive of a family member or friend. I would be judged immediately, and that’s additional stress I don’t want nor need.

Thank you again. I’ll be here sharing more, even if no one responds. This really has been therapeutic.

 

[taleo528]

you know to be honest the fact he is in the National Guard or training for it, if you go over there it could be dangerous
I don't think there is any future with this one, except online as supposedly they are not to date tourists etc.
think about it, a rat in the National guard could get away with a lot with a victim.
I would run for the hills if I were you, think about it
and the fact you don't know this one, they fake everything so well
and knowing the laws of Tunisia, who knows what scenarios he has planned for you if you go there

I’m getting that idea, seeing here that people are almost positive he shouldn’t be in a relationship with a foreigner.

I think he had positive intentions with joining the National Guard but additionally, is now seeing there could be other benefits like victims and all.

I’ve thought about my safety, not extensively, but things have crossed my mind. Scenarios, yes and with the extra authority now? That’s scary.

 

[Sabrina]

Thank you. I’ve calmed down and now just numb.

Yeah, I knew our age difference was a red flag. I knew he was younger but wasn’t sure by how many years initially.

He told me what his Mom said. She questioned him the next day. That’s when she supposedly expressed concern over him speaking with a foreigner because he’s in training.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. He’s been keeping a journal since week 5 of training I believe? And he sent me pictures of some of the entries. There’s mention of me a few times. Now I know the journal could’ve been a scheme and not genuine.

He chose his family over me and will remain there. I told him I wouldn’t have accepted any other decision. He said his parents are so proud, his brothers as well. That’s one thing I do believe – I think he finally feels worthy of his Father’s love.

No, I haven’t spoken with anyone about him. You know how some people love watching 90 Day and act so supportive – until they really dislike someone – but would never be supportive of a family member or friend. I would be judged immediately, and that’s additional stress I don’t want nor need.

Thank you again. I’ll be here sharing more, even if no one responds. This really has been therapeutic.

Well all that being said with mine him and his brother made their father proud and gained his approval by scamming women for money for the family.. And since we gave the family just loved us women. That is definitely one difference in yours and ours.. the difference of approvals

 

[taleo528]

And this is why we are here, so if he broke up recently do you want to continue being friends? If it hurts I don’t know if I would continue but it is hard and only time away helps. 8yrs is not a lot but the fact his mom is concerned about you being American imagine if she knew you were older! It’s really not in their culture with some exceptions. Pretty sure they can sneak a phone in to use. I know all this plays in your head all the time and you feel for him so it’s hard to let go because you do feel there is something, just don’t want you to drag it on to really be hurt. It’s very hard to get them out of your head and the fact that he keeps showing up, he doesn’t want you to.

Thank you!

I don’t know if I’m able to be a friend to him, not yet anyway. I mentioned this somewhere but he contacted me yesterday from training with another guy’s “secret phone.” Right, okay. He messaged me from his IG – said he misses me, loves me, apologized for making me cry, couldn’t stop thinking about me, blahblah. My heart can’t handle that right now.

Correct about our age difference – I guess it didn’t sound like such a major gap, but I always knew deep down it was too large.

Exactly – I told him this time, if he was really going to leave, to stay gone. I asked him to promise me he’d never come back, not even in like 8 months when I would probably feel okay to hear from him. He didn’t even wait 24 hours to break that promise!

 

[taleo528]

Yeah this is another thing.. is he a secret like so many of ours was? Mine basically because he was so much younger and I knew it wasn’t right but continued and being from such a distance .. had a few people to speak my concerns but that’s all.. no help because the true friends would’ve been on to me to STOP

Yes, he’s a secret. At one point, my Mom knew of him, as a friend. His name hasn’t come up since then.

Right, it’s difficult and lonely. I kept telling myself I would proudly claim him, even update our relationship statuses on Facebook… but when someone would ask about him, I wouldn’t be fully honest. Another red flag…

I’m sorry to hear you had to keep a lot of your situation to yourself.

 

[taleo528]

Well all that being said with mine him and his brother made their father proud and gained his approval by scamming women for money for the family.. And since we gave the family just loved us women. That is definitely one difference in yours and ours.. the difference of approvals

Wow… listen, I know the vast difference in cultures, but that’s just wild to me. It’s also kind of sad… imagine resorting to scams because you’re just that underprivileged. That’s the empath in me, though. And I’m sure they did love you! So damn messed up. I’m sorry.