Help – I don’t want to be another victim, but…

[Sabrina]

This! Yes! I understand they can’t be romantically linked to a foreigner, but why is talking a problem? Are they checking his phone he supposedly can’t have there? Are they hacking his phone and reading everything? COME ON. I said that to him and he just kept saying, “You don’t understand and can’t understand.” And he isn’t wrong – I have zero knowledge of the National Guard and what goes on because I’m not there. But it still doesn’t make sense.

Totally does not make sense . I think maybe the National guards and police there are a little more dangerous because they can get away with more things.

 

[Astarisborn]

Ya gotta wonder what they were saying?

I intercepted a message in Tunisian Arabic and it was my ex-rats friend
who sent it to me by accident??? and it said she is "Mahboula" then
he stated oh sorry I meant to send to your rat!
No it wasn't meant for the rat it was for me , and this is when I was with the rat
this was just a sadistic mind game often played out behind your back
but sometimes the rats make mistakes and drop hints

 

[Sabrina]

I intercepted a message in Tunisian Arabic and it was my ex-rats friend
who sent it to me by accident??? and it said she is "Mahboula" then
he stated oh sorry I meant to send to your rat!
No it wasn't meant for the rat it was for me , and this is when I was with the rat
this was just a sadistic mind game often played out behind your back
but sometimes the rats make mistakes and drop hints

Looked the meaning up… mad woman? Is that it yes that’s because they made us that way

 

[Sabrina]

He’s very intelligent… and manipulative the more I think about it.

Haha, he won’t be getting a SIM! Not from me anyway

I just want to clarify things, we are here to enlighten you and let you know our experience. Ours were rats! No doubt about it and even though I’m sure we all thought that we had something special (at least for a minute) I heard about tlr but still went into it. It’s over now so it’s easy to talk about with no feelings at all for the rat ! So you just learn here listen to him and most of all guard your feelings ! We’re really not here to deter women from the love of their life….. only the on coming train wreck of deceit

 

[Sabrina]

I intercepted a message in Tunisian Arabic and it was my ex-rats friend
who sent it to me by accident??? and it said she is "Mahboula" then
he stated oh sorry I meant to send to your rat!
No it wasn't meant for the rat it was for me , and this is when I was with the rat
this was just a sadistic mind game often played out behind your back
but sometimes the rats make mistakes and drop hints

They are really so stupid

 

[Astarisborn]

They are really so stupid

and what made this rat more of a POS is the fact he was comfortable talking about me to others and
complimenting them while they discussed me
and then them discussing me like I was the worst not even thinking about my story
If I make a mistake tell me not others at least but the rat loved to have people take his side
that's not love that's a sick narcistic psycho rat right there.
that no human being could ever take this sh*t
and its not about the time and investment he scammed me for only
but the f**ked up way he enjoyed abusing me over the years
if I posted the rat, not because of a relationship gone wrong but because he was scamming
ass rat
and sorry I know this thread is not about me
I just want to demonstrate with experience how bad it can get with a rat.

 

[Marie28]

This! Yes! I understand they can’t be romantically linked to a foreigner, but why is talking a problem? Are they checking his phone he supposedly can’t have there? Are they hacking his phone and reading everything? COME ON. I said that to him and he just kept saying, “You don’t understand and can’t understand.” And he isn’t wrong – I have zero knowledge of the National Guard and what goes on because I’m not there. But it still doesn’t make sense.

He sounds exactly like my rat who was is in army. It’s a rule of the army that they can’t be involved with any foreigner for security reasons apparently and if they are caught out, they face severe punishment. But with regards using phone, that was never an issue as he was on constant even at work.

 

[Sabrina]

and what made this rat more of a POS is the fact he was comfortable talking about me to others and
complimenting them while they discussed me
and then them discussing me like I was the worst not even thinking about my story
If I make a mistake tell me not others at least but the rat loved to have people take his side
that's not love that's a sick narcistic psycho rat right there.
that no human being could ever take this sh*t
and its not about the time and investment he scammed me for only
but the f**ked up way he enjoyed abusing me over the years
if I posted the rat, not because of a relationship gone wrong but because he was scamming
ass rat
and sorry I know this thread is not about me
I just want to demonstrate with experience how bad it can get with a rat.

They have to do this to make themselves look better! It doesn’t make sense to us but makes him feel better than… but truly sad to use other people to do so!

 

[Fleur1]

This! Yes! I understand they can’t be romantically linked to a foreigner, but why is talking a problem? Are they checking his phone he supposedly can’t have there? Are they hacking his phone and reading everything? COME ON. I said that to him and he just kept saying, “You don’t understand and can’t understand.” And he isn’t wrong – I have zero knowledge of the National Guard and what goes on because I’m not there. But it still doesn’t make sense.

It goes back to it being a ‘closed-currency’ country and everything is ‘closed’ about it, apart from what benefits it - They so wrongly have such a high opinion of themselves……………

 

[Fleur1]

I intercepted a message in Tunisian Arabic and it was my ex-rats friend
who sent it to me by accident??? and it said she is "Mahboula" then
he stated oh sorry I meant to send to your rat!
No it wasn't meant for the rat it was for me , and this is when I was with the rat
this was just a sadistic mind game often played out behind your back
but sometimes the rats make mistakes and drop hints

I got called ‘Mahboulla’ too - See the Gallery under Chahir Ounifi…………Truth is, he’s the ‘Mahboul’…………..

 

[Jane]

Hi everyone. I hope you’re all doing well. Before I begin, thank you in advance for taking the time to read this post and for the guidance that may be provided.

I’m not sure where to begin… I feel as though I have so much to share. I guess I’ll begin with the most recent event as it’s weighing heavily on my mind.

I met him back in August/September 2021 on IG – I’m sure this is a red flag already. He was in a relationship [with a Tunisian] when we met, and I was involved with someone as well. We started as friends, had great conversations, laughed a lot, shared music constantly… he was literally just a great friend before becoming more to me, and we connected well.

A lot has happened since then. Back in August 2022, he began training for the National Guard. We weren’t talking at the time, but he tried contacting me several times via friends, family, other accounts, etc. I eventually received a message from him via a friend’s account and decided to exchange messages with him from his own account. He told me about the National Guard, how challenging training was for him, going home on weekends, etc. Side note: I’m very proud of him for joining the National Guard. His life didn’t have much direction, and I know he was miserable. He’s expressed relief, happiness, finally being filled with pride.

Moving on… we started exchanging messages each weekend beginning the first week of December 2022. The conversations were just casual… I had a wall up and refused to be vulnerable. I gave in at some point, without persuasion from him. I can’t even blame him for anything at that point.

I want to share more details, but long story short… he’s been in training since the end of August 2022. Training will supposedly end in March 2023. He goes home on weekends and says he can’t use his phone during the week. He usually gets home on a Friday afternoon (his time) and leaves Sunday morning (his time). He told me yesterday we can’t be together. He said he shouldn’t even be communicating with me because I’m a foreigner (American). I’m not saying I would do this BUT I took the discussion to another level because I wanted to know how he’d respond. I told him I would renounce my citizenship, become an expat, etc. just to be with him. He basically said it would be impossible. There are more details, but I’m kind of looking for some type of response ASAP. My anxiety is through the roof with this one.

Again, thank you.

Whether he’s a rat or not, genuine or not , Tunisian or whatever , is besides the point . This man has basically said to you he wants to end this relationship and given the excuse that it’s impossible because of various issues etc. maybe it’s true or maybe he just found someone there and doesn’t want to hurt you .
My question is, if a guy has clearly told you he wants to end your relationship, why would you beg him to stay ? Hard though it is , maybe it’s best to move on.

 

[taleo528]

Whether he’s a rat or not, genuine or not , Tunisian or whatever , is besides the point . This man has basically said to you he wants to end this relationship and given the excuse that it’s impossible because of various issues etc. maybe it’s true or maybe he just found someone there and doesn’t want to hurt you .
My question is, if a guy has clearly told you he wants to end your relationship, why would you beg him to stay ? Hard though it is , maybe it’s best to move on.

Like you said, it’s hard. I’m not ready to let go, but I haven’t begged him to stay. More than anything, I want answers… but I’m sure I won’t receive any or he’d just continue to lie. It’s also difficult because he continues to reach out. I know better, I know I need to move on. I’m getting there – it’s just very fresh at the moment.

 

[taleo528]

you should not be treated like a dirty secret, and you don't have to put up with this nonsense or wrap your head around it
and why should you have to understand
it makes me tear up to be honest too that I think you are worthy of better
if we have to analyze and look at everything the rats do we will drive ourselves crazy
and I was in a nightmare of a relationship with a rat for many years, it started off rocky
got blocked and pics deleted then the rat changed his status 20 or more times when he was caught out in lies
so its a lot of abuse towards me, and hey I stooped down to his level to treat the rat like an equal
turns out he deserved nothing because they think that their FAKE love to you is enough LOL
they are so in love with themselves that they think their crap doesn't stink
well it does stink to high heavens
You are wonderful, I don't know you but you are so worthy of being loved.
the right person is going to love you for who you are not based on conditions
that serve the rat!

I’m not sure if I replied to this one, so my apologies… but as much as I need to hear the bad parts, I like hearing encouraging words as well, so thank you!

I don’t ever want to be a secret. I think the needing/wanting to know and understand is because my mind has been spiraling since Sunday! Saturday night actually. And I’m sorry for causing you to tear up! I have done more than enough crying for the both of us, lol. I’ll take care of the tears!

I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that. It really is the emotional abuse that’s so, so difficult. And that’s exactly how they deserve to be treated – at their level or even below their level! But like you said, the love they have for themselves… probably can’t feel a damn thing. Mine tried to tell me he cried in the middle of a cafe when I broke up with him the first time. Yeah, okay. Continue to lie!

YOU are wonderful! Sometimes all we need are little reminders to put us back on the right path.

I hope life is treating you much better now.

 

[taleo528]

Totally does not make sense . I think maybe the National guards and police there are a little more dangerous because they can get away with more things.

It seems like there’s an ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ type of attitude. Why be suppressed by the bad guy when you could just join them? He is the type that would feel that way.

 

[taleo528]

I just want to clarify things, we are here to enlighten you and let you know our experience. Ours were rats! No doubt about it and even though I’m sure we all thought that we had something special (at least for a minute) I heard about tlr but still went into it. It’s over now so it’s easy to talk about with no feelings at all for the rat ! So you just learn here listen to him and most of all guard your feelings ! We’re really not here to deter women from the love of their life….. only the on coming train wreck of deceit

Right, of course & I greatly appreciate everything I’ve read so far!

I absolutely agree. Part of me still wants to believe we had/have something special, but I know better than that. I have to say, though… mine has some similarities to other rats, but it also seems like he has a lot of differences. It’s scary to think he could just be that advanced.

Haha, yes! The train wreck is still ablaze over here. I don’t think he has any idea what’s coming once he’s home.

 

[taleo528]

He sounds exactly like my rat who was is in army. It’s a rule of the army that they can’t be involved with any foreigner for security reasons apparently and if they are caught out, they face severe punishment. But with regards using phone, that was never an issue as he was on constant even at work.

Thank you for confirming this for me. Others have said the same, about being involved, but it’s always nice to have it confirmed again and again.

You know, it’s funny you said ‘severe punishment’ because he used that exact way to describe it.

The phone stuff is annoying. He’s supposedly using someone else’s that was snuck in there. So he’s worried about using his own phone and IG but will sacrifice someone else? Major rat move or just a filthy liar.

 

[taleo528]

It goes back to it being a ‘closed-currency’ country and everything is ‘closed’ about it, apart from what benefits it - They so wrongly have such a high opinion of themselves……………

I just wish I would have known better or listened to my gut.

 

[taleo528]

and what made this rat more of a POS is the fact he was comfortable talking about me to others and
complimenting them while they discussed me
and then them discussing me like I was the worst not even thinking about my story
If I make a mistake tell me not others at least but the rat loved to have people take his side
that's not love that's a sick narcistic psycho rat right there.
that no human being could ever take this sh*t
and its not about the time and investment he scammed me for only
but the f**ked up way he enjoyed abusing me over the years
if I posted the rat, not because of a relationship gone wrong but because he was scamming
ass rat
and sorry I know this thread is not about me
I just want to demonstrate with experience how bad it can get with a rat.

I’m so sorry. Emotional abuse is the worst. And when you realize that’s exactly what’s happening… gut wrenching.

I hope you’re doing okay now, or even just better than before. And please don’t apologize! I’m 100% okay with anyone sharing their own experience.

 

[taleo528]

Also....

If its an American SIM you would have to pay to top it up or if it's on contract, he won't be able to pay from Tunisia,

It could be test to see how much you're willing to pay to talk with him ?

Not a dime! He sprung all of this on me out of no where and I refuse to reward him for ending things with me.

 

[Sabrina]

Like you said, it’s hard. I’m not ready to let go, but I haven’t begged him to stay. More than anything, I want answers… but I’m sure I won’t receive any or he’d just continue to lie. It’s also difficult because he continues to reach out. I know better, I know I need to move on. I’m getting there – it’s just very fresh at the moment.

It’s hard we all went back and had a hard time leaving also, it’s normal

 

[Aisha1]

@taleo528 so when we go back and forth from USA to Tunisia we use Tunisia sim because it’s super cheap. American SIM card with American service is super expensive , ATT had a world service that worked in Tunisia once ( maybe still) that allowed us to have unlimited data and calls for like 10$ per day… believe me we looked at a lot of plans, but it’s easier to just use Tunisian sim and waaaay cheaper. If guys there want to show an American sim they can buy one from the madina ( not saying it has service), and they can get an American number with talk apps or Skype. So it’s really strange why he wants that. By the way he can still be with you and possibly marry you being in the military or police, but you will need to go through an extensive background and if I’m not mistaken you will need to live in Tunisia…. And that is something you really need to check into before just saying you will do it.

 

[Sabrina]

I just wish I would have known better or listened to my gut.

We all..shoulda woulda coulda… but we didn’t and here we are

 

[Sabrina]

Thank you for confirming this for me. Others have said the same, about being involved, but it’s always nice to have it confirmed again and again.

You know, it’s funny you said ‘severe punishment’ because he used that exact way to describe it.

The phone stuff is annoying. He’s supposedly using someone else’s that was snuck in there. So he’s worried about using his own phone and IG but will sacrifice someone else? Major rat move or just a filthy liar.

Mine one time told me he was using his neighbors phone of course we talked very little then guess he busy doing or talking to someone else..slimeball

 

[Butterflies]

Thank you for confirming this for me. Others have said the same, about being involved, but it’s always nice to have it confirmed again and again.

You know, it’s funny you said ‘severe punishment’ because he used that exact way to describe it.

The phone stuff is annoying. He’s supposedly using someone else’s that was snuck in there. So he’s worried about using his own phone and IG but will sacrifice someone else? Major rat move or just a filthy liar.

Or maybe he doesn't want to use his fone or IG for ulterior movies. He has a girlfriend who checks his fone. Tunisian or foreign girlfriend who is there now and this is the reason he's not so much available
Rats ask for passwords from social media and offer their passwords to. They check your social media and remove other men or ask you to block these men. It's not about jeaulousy it's to controle he doesn't lose his victim to another rat. Rats share texts with each other , they share your picture, private pictures..... It's to boost to other rats he has found his golden ticket. Nothing is private with rats, so be aware of it and be careful they do try to blackmail you with intimit pictures.

 

[confuseddotcom]

Right, of course & I greatly appreciate everything I’ve read so far!

I absolutely agree. Part of me still wants to believe we had/have something special, but I know better than that. I have to say, though… mine has some similarities to other rats, but it also seems like he has a lot of differences. It’s scary to think he could just be that advanced.

Haha, yes! The train wreck is still ablaze over here. I don’t think he has any idea what’s coming once he’s home.

Read this book when you get the chance. It’s useful for all of us in here

The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People eBook : Morningstar, Dana: Amazon.co.uk: Books

The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People eBook : Morningstar, Dana: Amazon.co.uk: Books

www.amazon.co.uk

 

[Sabrina]

Read this book when you get the chance. It’s useful for all of us in here

The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People eBook : Morningstar, Dana: Amazon.co.uk: Books

The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People eBook : Morningstar, Dana: Amazon.co.uk: Books

www.amazon.co.uk

View attachment 71343
View attachment 71344

This is good and valuable ..it’s a shame there are not many stories here where we are not ripping the rats apart BUT they lead us to this! I am glad TLR is here so all can learn about the gaslighting narcissist rats!

 

[taleo528]

@taleo528 so when we go back and forth from USA to Tunisia we use Tunisia sim because it’s super cheap. American SIM card with American service is super expensive , ATT had a world service that worked in Tunisia once ( maybe still) that allowed us to have unlimited data and calls for like 10$ per day… believe me we looked at a lot of plans, but it’s easier to just use Tunisian sim and waaaay cheaper. If guys there want to show an American sim they can buy one from the madina ( not saying it has service), and they can get an American number with talk apps or Skype. So it’s really strange why he wants that. By the way he can still be with you and possibly marry you being in the military or police, but you will need to go through an extensive background and if I’m not mistaken you will need to live in Tunisia…. And that is something you really need to check into before just saying you will do it.

Hi @Aisha1 – Thanks so much for replying. The information you provided is incredibly helpful!

Yeah, the SIM mystery is still throwing me off. Also, the fact that he mentioned it and then said forget it… no idea. The only thing I do know is I won’t be providing nor paying for one monthly. If he wants one, he’s grown and can figure it out.

Hypothetically speaking, even if he is genuine and not a rat, the trust I had in him is gone. Marriage wasn’t on the table because we never met in person and it’ll never make it to the table now. Thank you again, though. I did read something regarding marriage and the hoops we’d have to jump through. All he did was say we couldn’t be together and asked if I was going to believe him or the internet… it was a government site. Given the 180 in less than 12 hours, I’ll believe the site. Funny how his tone changed when I acted cold right before he left to go back to training.

I’m allowing him to believe he still has me wrapped around his finger… until next weekend when he’s home.

 

[taleo528]

Mine one time told me he was using his neighbors phone of course we talked very little then guess he busy doing or talking to someone else..slimeball

The neighbor?? I don’t know if they think we’re reallyyy gullible or if they’re just so clever and so advanced in their rat BS.

 

[taleo528]

Or maybe he doesn't want to use his fone or IG for ulterior movies. He has a girlfriend who checks his fone. Tunisian or foreign girlfriend who is there now and this is the reason he's not so much available
Rats ask for passwords from social media and offer their passwords to. They check your social media and remove other men or ask you to block these men. It's not about jeaulousy it's to controle he doesn't lose his victim to another rat. Rats share texts with each other , they share your picture, private pictures..... It's to boost to other rats he has found his golden ticket. Nothing is private with rats, so be aware of it and be careful they do try to blackmail you with intimit pictures.

So my gut tells me Tunisian girlfriend or a prospect at least… while still scamming on the side with me and others. The only reason I feel this way is because the change in him was immediate.

He hasn’t asked for passwords or anything like that, but he does have some pictures without my face, thankfully. Thank you for mentioning texts, pictures, etc. It may have crossed my mind before but not enough to worry me.

Again, all the info is so helpful.

 

[taleo528]

Read this book when you get the chance. It’s useful for all of us in here

The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People eBook : Morningstar, Dana: Amazon.co.uk: Books

The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People eBook : Morningstar, Dana: Amazon.co.uk: Books

www.amazon.co.uk

View attachment 71343
View attachment 71344

Thanks so much for sharing! I’m having surgery in February so a book while I’m in the hospital will be great.