Welcome to TLR

I need bait, who can help me?

Bee.

Ratslayer
Hi all..
I understand a lot of you don't want anything to do with Tunisian men anymore. But I want to ask if anyone of the ladies here from Europe or even better Germany can help me lay a trap for mine.
I'm done asking questions and hearing words from him. I want to catch him out for better or worse and make my decision about him soon. I don't trust him and hes making it easier for me to not. I want facts and hard proof that hes not into me and is in fact using me and have others on the side to use also and as backup if we fail.
I understand that my comment right now is proof I should let it go but I want hard evidence and I feel like the only help I can get is here.
I've tried making a fake profile but its not old enough. I dont even have the expertise to deceive. I can't test him myself because I'm too honest with my thoughts, I give myself away if I try lol..
Would one of you ladies be willing to help me to bait him please??
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Hi ladies I will write my reply for the both of you. I helped a lady before to "love trap" a tunisian man. I provided hard evidence he was chatting me up and had a clear conversation to the man in question but..... Some women need more on knowing he is cheating her or isn't honnest to her. What if he doesnt fall for the "love trap"? You will have a fake feeling you can trust him!? Love traps can give you a false feeling and it is rare à woman leave the rat even if she has evidence. In my mind the rats you have are not honnest but as you say you want to know if he is chatting to other women. We can assure you they are and they will not stop doing it even if you are in a "relationship". They are always on the look for another woman who can provide more for them.
 
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Seldon#marg

Major Ratslayer
Yes I agree. Its getting easier and easier day by day for me , granted I'll have more bad days but im already starting to feel so much lighter stress free. He's free to do what he likes with who likes now not my problem anymore. @bee if you have these doubts then you know he's not right for you :-(
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Hi ladies I will write my reply for the both of you. I helped a lady before to "love trap" a tunisian man. I provided hard evidence he was chatting me up and had a clear conversation to the man in question but..... Some women need more on knowing he is cheating her or isn't honnest to her. What if he doesnt fall for the "love trap"? You will have a fake feeling you can trust him!? Love traps can give you a false feeling and it is rare à woman leave the rat even if she has evidence. In my mind the rats you have are not honnest but as you say you want to know if he is chatting to other women. We can assure you they are and they will not stop doing it even if you are in a "relationship". They are always on the look for another woman who can provide more for them.
True words Butterflies ♡♡♡♡
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Yes I agree. Its getting easier and easier day by day for me , granted I'll have more bad days but im already starting to feel so much lighter stress free. He's free to do what he likes with who likes now not my problem anymore. @bee if you have these doubts then you know he's not right for you :-(
You and @bee are not the only ladies asked for a love trap but it really doesn't help you to get a better feeling. A genuine tunisian man never accepts money ( no ifs and no buts) from a woman and certainly don't ask for "fotos". You know what I mean by this and it is not a judgement it is clear when a tunisian asks you this then he is a rat. Each day away from the rat your feelings for him will fade away to. It is fake on his side only your heart is involved for him it is Bezness. Stay strong ladies you are on your way to freedom just be aware for more rats xxxx
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Hi all..
I understand a lot of you don't want anything to do with Tunisian men anymore. But I want to ask if anyone of the ladies here from Europe or even better Germany can help me lay a trap for mine.
I'm done asking questions and hearing words from him. I want to catch him out for better or worse and make my decision about him soon. I don't trust him and hes making it easier for me to not. I want facts and hard proof that hes not into me and is in fact using me and have others on the side to use also and as backup if we fail.
I understand that my comment right now is proof I should let it go but I want hard evidence and I feel like the only help I can get is here.
I've tried making a fake profile but its not old enough. I dont even have the expertise to deceive. I can't test him myself because I'm too honest with my thoughts, I give myself away if I try lol..
Would one of you ladies be willing to help me to bait him please??
Bee, I don't know if you are stunning, slim, sexy as hell or conversely good looking, medium build and attractive OR fat old and ugly.

It don't freakin matter!

You don't trust him, I don't and have never met him.
 

Bee.

Ratslayer
I've also thought of doing this to know once and for all but then it will only hurt your feelings even more than your already hurting. Is it really worth that ? Are they really worth more of our tears xx
I honestly am all for truth and freedom in every single sense of the word. I would rather unpleasent truths to comforting lies any day. I wanna do it and I know if i find out there are others then that will make me walk away knowing and wont feel bad for it at all. He can be free and so I can I. Its that simple on my part.. Im not wasting more time on words with him.... Thankyou for your comments ladies x
 

Bee.

Ratslayer
Hi ladies I will write my reply for the both of you. I helped a lady before to "love trap" a tunisian man. I provided hard evidence he was chatting me up and had a clear conversation to the man in question but..... Some women need more on knowing he is cheating her or isn't honnest to her. What if he doesnt fall for the "love trap"? You will have a fake feeling you can trust him!? Love traps can give you a false feeling and it is rare à woman leave the rat even if she has evidence. In my mind the rats you have are not honnest but as you say you want to know if he is chatting to other women. We can assure you they are and they will not stop doing it even if you are in a "relationship". They are always on the look for another woman who can provide more for them.
I made a reply above to the first lady comment. I can assure you it wont leave me feeling unpleasant at this stage.. I just want to know. Then I can walk free and he can be free too.
 

Bee.

Ratslayer
Bee, I don't know if you are stunning, slim, sexy as hell or conversely good looking, medium build and attractive OR fat old and ugly.

It don't freakin matter!

You don't trust him, I don't and have never met him.
tbh i not blowing whistles, Im an algood looking young woman, not big or small but you are very right, none of this matters if I cant provide his gains for him.. Hes not asked me for anything yet but ive picked up on little things in convo that makes me belive im not the only one. But id rather know for sure with a teriible truth then a comforting lie. Im ok with the nitty gritty, im tougher then I look to most. I dont want to think and suspect but I want to know for sure 100%
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
These traps don’t work. From what I’ve seen, the women who test their boyfriend using this trick, stay with them no matter the results.
Either the guy doesn’t take the bait and the woman then has a false of security. Either he bites and then when his girlfriend confronts him, he’ll convince her with a story : he didn’t mean to respond to the friend request, he thought he deleted it but he pressed “accept” by accident or he’ll brush it off and tell the girlfriend: don’t worry, it doesn’t mean anything, you know that I love you bla bla bla.. and the woman will forgive him because she loves him and wants to believe that all is good.

But most likely, these cheating rats are very cautious about friend requests and know well it has to be a ruse from their girlfriend who has been suspecting them of cheating and lying. They aren’t stupid that way. They know women do that between friends. When they suddenly receive a request from a woman, they know where it’s coming from. Men rarely receive requests from women, real requests. Also they know how to recognize fake profiles.
 
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Bee.

Ratslayer
These traps don’t work. From what I’ve seen, the women who test their boyfriend using this trick, stay with them no matter the results.
Either the guy doesn’t take the bait and the woman then has a false of security. Either he bites and then when his girlfriend confronts him, he’ll convince her with a story : he didn’t mean to respond to the friend request, he thought he deleted it but he pressed “accept” by accident or he’ll brush it off and tell the girlfriend: don’t worry, it doesn’t mean anything, you know that I love you bla bla bla.. and the woman will forgive him because she loves him and wants to believe that all is good.

But most likely, these cheating rats are very cautious about friend requests and know well it has to be a ruse from their girlfriend who has been suspecting them of cthaheating and lying. They aren’t stupid that way. They know women do that between friends. When they suddenly receive a request from a woman, they know where it’s coming from. Men rarely receive requests from women, real requests. Also they know how to recognize fake profiles.
Thankyou for your reply @SouthernGirl . I understand what you mean but rest assured I'll not go back and won't believe whatever he says at this point. If anything it will allow me to move on with no regrets. Truth truth truth is all im about. I dont care It it may hurt. I'm at the point in my life where I know (no matter what others think) that life with this virus etc is not gonna go good for the whole planet so i honestly dont care if it hurts. I just want the truth.
 

Aisha1

Senior Rat Expert
You and @bee are not the only ladies asked for a love trap but it really doesn't help you to get a better feeling. A genuine tunisian man never accepts money ( no ifs and no buts) from a woman and certainly don't ask for "fotos". You know what I mean by this and it is not a judgement it is clear when a tunisian asks you this then he is a rat. Each day away from the rat your feelings for him will fade away to. It is fake on his side only your heart is involved for him it is Bezness. Stay strong ladies you are on your way to freedom just be aware for more rats xxxx
I want to make sure that one thing is clear. It’s true Arab men in general don’t just come out and ask for money from a woman, however it’s normal and often happening that husband and wife help each other when necessary if one or the other is better off in any given situation. For example, he’s asking you for clothes, medical blah blah and other randomness... then yes.. it’s not acceptable, he should be ashamed. However, you work and your husband is short the rent because work was slow, then it’s acceptable to help. I know plenty of Tunisian men that accepted money and other things from their Tunisian or foreign wife and marriage is true. I know Tunisian woman married to Tunisian guy, she come from wealthy family, so she bought for him car, I know they are in love truly. I’ll be honest, I’m Arab and I really don’t have some absurd idea that man is responsible for everything, I think this is more villagers philosophy. Villagers/ jabri often come to bigger cities to work in tourism.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Thankyou for your reply @SouthernGirl . I understand what you mean but rest assured I'll not go back and won't believe whatever he says at this point. If anything it will allow me to move on with no regrets. Truth truth truth is all im about. I dont care It it may hurt. I'm at the point in my life where I know (no matter what others think) that life with this virus etc is not gonna go good for the whole planet so i honestly dont care if it hurts. I just want the truth.
Thank you for your reply, dear Bee. You do sound indeed like someone very strong willed and strong who wants to know the truth point blank even if it hurts.
I can understand why you have serious doubts about this man. Just like @Tigerpants said, I don’t know him but I don’t trust him either. I didn’t like what I read about him in your first post that was very detailed and heartfelt.

I remember you said you two started with a strong intellectual connection and that he was intelligent and very gifted music wise. I can see how charming he must be. Many women find artists and intellectual men fascinating and intriguing (I know I do)

Unfortunately, some are cons too and they are harder to detect because they can talk well. The fact that he comes from an educated family doesn’t mean he’s not an user and that he is not looking for a woman who can provide him with a visa. He was in Spain, then now he’s living in Germany until his visa expires. Something in his story didn’t add up and some members said that didn’t sound good at all and didn’t make sense. It was fishy to say the least.

Then you were supposed to meet and he got upset when you had to change your plans because you have two little ones you couldn’t leave at this time. I’m disgusted by rats, but the ones who scam young mothers (and thus victimize their children as well) sicken me to another level.

The fact he got angry you couldn’t meet him when you had a very valid reason said a lot. The well-being of your children is not his problem. It shows it’s all about him and what he wants. In his mind, he should come first, before your responsibilities.

I wouldn’t trust this man, Bee. Even if he was not a rat -and don’t get me wrong, I believe he’s one- even if he was not in it visa, he’s a selfish ass who would not care about your children and help you taking care of them.

Again, if you do this trap and he “passes” the test, remember this is not a real proof he is true to you.
 
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Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I want to make sure that one thing is clear. It’s true Arab men in general don’t just come out and ask for money from a woman, however it’s normal and often happening that husband and wife help each other when necessary if one or the other is better off in any given situation. For example, he’s asking you for clothes, medical blah blah and other randomness... then yes.. it’s not acceptable, he should be ashamed. However, you work and your husband is short the rent because work was slow, then it’s acceptable to help. I know plenty of Tunisian men that accepted money and other things from their Tunisian or foreign wife and marriage is true. I know Tunisian woman married to Tunisian guy, she come from wealthy family, so she bought for him car, I know they are in love truly. I’ll be honest, I’m Arab and I really don’t have some absurd idea that man is responsible for everything, I think this is more villagers philosophy. Villagers/ jabri often come to bigger cities to work in tourism.
Hi we are not talking about a genuine tunisian man here. In the western world it's normal to that between husband and wife we help eachother in the finances. We talk about rats here when they ask for money or hint for it. I am sure normal households all over the world share the responsibility of spending money on food and other things only rats will ask for money
 

Bee.

Ratslayer
I want to make sure that one thing is clear. It’s true Arab men in general don’t just come out and ask for money from a woman, however it’s normal and often happening that husband and wife help each other when necessary if one or the other is better off in any given situation. For example, he’s asking you for clothes, medical blah blah and other randomness... then yes.. it’s not acceptable, he should be ashamed. However, you work and your husband is short the rent because work was slow, then it’s acceptable to help. I know plenty of Tunisian men that accepted money and other things from their Tunisian or foreign wife and marriage is true. I know Tunisian woman married to Tunisian guy, she come from wealthy family, so she bought for him car, I know they are in love truly. I’ll be honest, I’m Arab and I really don’t have some absurd idea that man is responsible for everything, I think this is more villagers philosophy. Villagers/ jabri often come to bigger cities to work in tourism.
Yep Ive learnt all of this. Mine hasnt asked for anything, money or things, gifts etc yet but has expected for me to pay for all my own travel expenses (Its not happening anymore).
In my case, we are not married and have not met yet and so at this stage he has no right to ask me for anything, and same goes for me. I have children and a household to run, If hes not paying my bills and sharing my responsiblities, or [email protected]#$ing me lol then he cannot ask me for anything haha.. But I understand, being independant and coming from similar place to Europe and sharing duties, responsiblities and rewards is a equally shared between two. But i also have babies and they come first for me.
 

Bee.

Ratslayer
Thank you for your reply, dear Bee. You do sound indeed like someone very strong willed and strong who wants to know the truth point blank even if it hurts.
I can understand why you have serious doubts about this man. Just like @Tigerpants said, I don’t know him but I don’t trust him either. I didn’t like what I read about him in your first post that was very detailed and heartfelt.

I remember you said you two started with a strong intellectual connection and that he was intelligent and very gifted music wise. I can see how charming he must be. Many women find artists and intellectual men fascinating and intriguing (I know I do)

Unfortunately, some are cons too and they are harder to detect because they can talk well. The fact that he comes from an educated family doesn’t mean he’s not an user and that he is not looking for a woman who can provide him with a visa. He was in Spain, then now he’s living in Germany until his visa expires. Something in his story didn’t add up and some members said that didn’t sound good at all and didn’t make sense. It was fishy to say the least.

Then you were supposed to meet and he got upset when you had to change your plans because you have two little ones you couldn’t leave at this time. I’m disgusted by rats, but the ones who scam young mothers (and thus victimize their children as well) sicken me to another level.

The fact he got angry you couldn’t meet him when you had a very valid reason said a lot. The well-being of your children is not his problem. It shows it’s all about him and what he wants. In his mind, he should come first, before your responsibilities.

I wouldn’t trust this man, Bee. Even if he was not a rat -and don’t get me wrong, I believe he’s one- even if he was not in it visa, he’s a selfish ass who would not care about your children and help you taking care of them.

Again, if you do this trap and he “passes” the test, remember this is not a real proof he is true to you.
Loved your comment. I cant believe you remeber me considering the amount of people on this forum lol. Thankyou that means a lot actually.

Everything you said is correct, one thing I'll add becauise I didnt want any trouble before. I know this fact too, and that is his visa to Spain has expired and hes been in Germany illgal(is it safe on this forum ladies?) I dont want anyone getting hurt.. for nearly a year....

I do not trust him either. in reality he has no options. Go home. get deported. in both instances he will have bad mark on his passport and any visa opportunities are gone for him. Or he marries. A Euro woman will give much more then I can, especially if she has no children.. Then theres me in little ol NZ aaaalll the way from the South Pacifc..With children, no money or even a job at this stage. He asked me to move to Germany with the kids too btw.. Umm no. Im indiginous so I need my girls to be raised here on the land they were born too.I'll fucking travel later when they grown.. lol sorry ladies getting passionate in my typing now lol...

the point is. I see his situation very clearly and understand much better now. And I could not see him enjoying where he is right now no matter what he says, constantly looking over your shoulder and never being secure with work and a home etc. A wife will fix that for him, but it cant be me, especaillay since he brought up to me his "fears" about coming to me and losong everything, and the big chance my country will send him back home because we are very strict here. Telling me and making me think hes actually sacrificing what hes "built" by himself from scratch to leave and be with me....

Eeeek. Its laughable really haha and I can see you reading my reply like "aaahhh she finally gets it";):p

So yes I really really still want to test him, And im 99.9% sure Im not gonna feel aweful for everything. Im a logical person, I know enough from you all, I knew what I was continuing to get myself into, Im not asking for help to test him to make me feel a bit better if he passes, I know this wont be real proof of his genuinism, I also know my questioing him like I have been hasnt been working either. I have zero contacts with anyone from Europe so I know he wont connect me with anyone there.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
These rats are not stupid. They will spot a honey trap and won't fall for it. It will take weeks or months of work to try and properly catch them out with a honey trap.
True Neonnurse I trapped a rat provided all the evidence to the lady but these rats have a way of talking themselves out of it so the lady still is left wondering if the rat is genuine or not. I am not a long time here at the forum but reading here and learning from the experience from other ladies it's now clear to me how a rat acts. They create a story to the woman on how their life is so she will believe every shite that comes out of their mouths. I get it ladies want proof but it is very rare a woman sends a request to a man, and these rats know that to so they are very cautious. This rat in question has lied to bee from the beginning. He had a visa (for school or something) for Spain so at one point he must have been Spanish-speaking or else how would he have learned anything there, sounds suspicious to me.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Loved your comment. I cant believe you remeber me considering the amount of people on this forum lol. Thankyou that means a lot actually.

Everything you said is correct, one thing I'll add becauise I didnt want any trouble before. I know this fact too, and that is his visa to Spain has expired and hes been in Germany illgal(is it safe on this forum ladies?) I dont want anyone getting hurt.. for nearly a year....

I do not trust him either. in reality he has no options. Go home. get deported. in both instances he will have bad mark on his passport and any visa opportunities are gone for him. Or he marries. A Euro woman will give much more then I can, especially if she has no children.. Then theres me in little ol NZ aaaalll the way from the South Pacifc..With children, no money or even a job at this stage. He asked me to move to Germany with the kids too btw.. Umm no. Im indiginous so I need my girls to be raised here on the land they were born too.I'll fucking travel later when they grown.. lol sorry ladies getting passionate in my typing now lol...

the point is. I see his situation very clearly and understand much better now. And I could not see him enjoying where he is right now no matter what he says, constantly looking over your shoulder and never being secure with work and a home etc. A wife will fix that for him, but it cant be me, especaillay since he brought up to me his "fears" about coming to me and losong everything, and the big chance my country will send him back home because we are very strict here. Telling me and making me think hes actually sacrificing what hes "built" by himself from scratch to leave and be with me....

Eeeek. Its laughable really haha and I can see you reading my reply like "aaahhh she finally gets it";):p

So yes I really really still want to test him, And im 99.9% sure Im not gonna feel aweful for everything. Im a logical person, I know enough from you all, I knew what I was continuing to get myself into, Im not asking for help to test him to make me feel a bit better if he passes, I know this wont be real proof of his genuinism, I also know my questioing him like I have been hasnt been working either. I have zero contacts with anyone from Europe so I know he wont connect me with anyone there.
Letting you believe he leaves everything behind what he has builded to be with you in NZ??? Is he serious? What did he do there? Get a visa to Spain for education (seriously doubt that), leaving it behind him and now illegal in Germany doing odd jobs here and there. You are his ticket out of the mess he created by his own self. Bee a honey trap will not work in my eyes as Neonnurse said it takes time to trap a rat. I understand you want to be sure he isn't genuine but why? I think in your mind you already know he isn't? That nagging feeling you have what if? What if he is all he pretends to be? Are you willing to take that risk? I wouldn't want a man near my children who I am not 100 % sure of and even then these days you just have to be carefully. Thinking of you @Bee... it is a difficult decision to just hit that block button, only you can decide that.
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
True Neonnurse I trapped a rat provided all the evidence to the lady but these rats have a way of talking themselves out of it so the lady still is left wondering if the rat is genuine or not. I am not a long time here at the forum but reading here and learning from the experience from other ladies it's now clear to me how a rat acts. They create a story to the woman on how their life is so she will believe every shite that comes out of their mouths. I get it ladies want proof but it is very rare a woman sends a request to a man, and these rats know that to so they are very cautious. This rat in question has lied to bee from the beginning. He had a visa (for school or something) for Spain so at one point he must have been Spanish-speaking or else how would he have learned anything there, sounds suspicious to me.
@Bee. seems cool and far more educated on ratism since she joined the forum which is great.

FACT He has mislead her about his circumstance regarding visa's, as @SouthernGirl outlined.He has spun a pretty good line early on however TLR has educated her as to all of the gaps in his story.

I'm sorry but he's desperate for a visa, wants her to uproot her and her kids to move to Germany WTF, she's never met him AND clearly demonstrating that his needs are far greater than hers.

Bee , be careful as you really are playing with fire,he's a cornered Rat, he's an illegal who's outstayed his visa, I absolutely reckon he's got more than one women he's talking to like you and trying to secure a wife!
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
Hi all..
I understand a lot of you don't want anything to do with Tunisian men anymore. But I want to ask if anyone of the ladies here from Europe or even better Germany can help me lay a trap for mine.
I'm done asking questions and hearing words from him. I want to catch him out for better or worse and make my decision about him soon. I don't trust him and hes making it easier for me to not. I want facts and hard proof that hes not into me and is in fact using me and have others on the side to use also and as backup if we fail.
I understand that my comment right now is proof I should let it go but I want hard evidence and I feel like the only help I can get is here.
I've tried making a fake profile but its not old enough. I dont even have the expertise to deceive. I can't test him myself because I'm too honest with my thoughts, I give myself away if I try lol..
Would one of you ladies be willing to help me to bait him plei
If there is no trust in a relationship then it's time to end it!!!
He will never earn enough money to get to NZ and you can't and won't move to Germany. The relationship can't really go anywhere. Why bother? Focus on your children instead.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I've also thought of doing this to know once and for all but then it will only hurt your feelings even more than your already hurting. Is it really worth that ? Are they really worth more of our tears xx
She has not been hurt so far I’m pretty sure she wants to find out now before investing any more time or feelings as we know how that feels! I say yes wished I could help!!!!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I made a reply above to the first lady comment. I can assure you it wont leave me feeling unpleasant at this stage.. I just want to know. Then I can walk free and he can be free too.
I’m sure you want to know now as not later! Yours don’t seem like our typical rat asking for money I guess they have their own ways mine was asking me in a month of talking so I can see why you want to know so you can let go before you really fall!!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Loved your comment. I cant believe you remeber me considering the amount of people on this forum lol. Thankyou that means a lot actually.

Everything you said is correct, one thing I'll add becauise I didnt want any trouble before. I know this fact too, and that is his visa to Spain has expired and hes been in Germany illgal(is it safe on this forum ladies?) I dont want anyone getting hurt.. for nearly a year....

I do not trust him either. in reality he has no options. Go home. get deported. in both instances he will have bad mark on his passport and any visa opportunities are gone for him. Or he marries. A Euro woman will give much more then I can, especially if she has no children.. Then theres me in little ol NZ aaaalll the way from the South Pacifc..With children, no money or even a job at this stage. He asked me to move to Germany with the kids too btw.. Umm no. Im indiginous so I need my girls to be raised here on the land they were born too.I'll fucking travel later when they grown.. lol sorry ladies getting passionate in my typing now lol...

the point is. I see his situation very clearly and understand much better now. And I could not see him enjoying where he is right now no matter what he says, constantly looking over your shoulder and never being secure with work and a home etc. A wife will fix that for him, but it cant be me, especaillay since he brought up to me his "fears" about coming to me and losong everything, and the big chance my country will send him back home because we are very strict here. Telling me and making me think hes actually sacrificing what hes "built" by himself from scratch to leave and be with me....

Eeeek. Its laughable really haha and I can see you reading my reply like "aaahhh she finally gets it";):p

So yes I really really still want to test him, And im 99.9% sure Im not gonna feel aweful for everything. Im a logical person, I know enough from you all, I knew what I was continuing to get myself into, Im not asking for help to test him to make me feel a bit better if he passes, I know this wont be real proof of his genuinism, I also know my questioing him like I have been hasnt been working either. I have zero contacts with anyone from Europe so I know he wont connect me with anyone there.
Hi we are not talking about a genuine tunisian man here. In the western world it's normal to that between husband and wife we help eachother in the finances. We talk about rats here when they ask for money or hint for it. I am sure normal households all over the world share the responsibility of spending money on food and other things only rats will ask for money
Of course that goes without saying sharing expenses but the only thing this guy has asked is she pay her own way to see him. Maybe he’s playing it slow unlike mine and other rats on here.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
@Bee. seems cool and far more educated on ratism since she joined the forum which is great.

FACT He has mislead her about his circumstance regarding visa's, as @SouthernGirl outlined.He has spun a pretty good line early on however TLR has educated her as to all of the gaps in his story.

I'm sorry but he's desperate for a visa, wants her to uproot her and her kids to move to Germany WTF, she's never met him AND clearly demonstrating that his needs are far greater than hers.

Bee , be careful as you really are playing with fire,he's a cornered Rat, he's an illegal who's outstayed his visa, I absolutely reckon he's got more than one women he's talking to like you and trying to secure a wife!
This is true!!!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Letting you believe he leaves everything behind what he has builded to be with you in NZ??? Is he serious? What did he do there? Get a visa to Spain for education (seriously doubt that), leaving it behind him and now illegal in Germany doing odd jobs here and there. You are his ticket out of the mess he created by his own self. Bee a honey trap will not work in my eyes as Neonnurse said it takes time to trap a rat. I understand you want to be sure he isn't genuine but why? I think in your mind you already know he isn't? That nagging feeling you have what if? What if he is all he pretends to be? Are you willing to take that risk? I wouldn't want a man near my children who I am not 100 % sure of and even then these days you just have to be carefully. Thinking of you @Bee... it is a difficult decision to just hit that block button, only you can decide that.
He is sounding desperate he can’t give up anything because he doesn’t have anything, he’s illegal only thing he would give up is being rejected and sent back to .. is it Tunisia?
 

Aisha1

Senior Rat Expert
Yep Ive learnt all of this. Mine hasnt asked for anything, money or things, gifts etc yet but has expected for me to pay for all my own travel expenses (Its not happening anymore).
In my case, we are not married and have not met yet and so at this stage he has no right to ask me for anything, and same goes for me. I have children and a household to run, If hes not paying my bills and sharing my responsiblities, or [email protected]#$ing me lol then he cannot ask me for anything haha.. But I understand, being independant and coming from similar place to Europe and sharing duties, responsiblities and rewards is a equally shared between two. But i also have babies and they come first for me.
I want to tell you something from an Arab woman perspective, please don’t take offense, by no means do I try to disrespect. My husband and I live in western country now so I see both sides and I don’t think either is wrong. Your way of thinking differs so much from his that I really honestly don’t see a legit relationship working for you and him. For example, we don’t casually date or have relationship similar to western world, our relationship starts always with the understanding we are in this to marry. So if you are to the point that you want to see him he thinks it will lead to a marriage. Also, I’m not saying I agree, but many women leave their children from another relationship if she has with her family and focus on her soon to be new love. Children will not come over your husband in most cases. So I know he is not interested in your children or who they are taken care of, he will never see this as his responsibility. Also if you expect a good man, Tunisian or any Arab or North African , never ever use vulgar words to him or in front of him, when Arab man hear this it’s not reversed and he will understand your not practical, therefore only good to use to his benefit. If you don’t want to pay for travel tell him this , be prepared to wait as he may not save money as fast as you could, but if he wants to see you then make him pay. Believe me if he wants it he will borrow 500 dinar from each friend that has it and purchase what you need to visit and he has friends that manage apartments I’m sure and they will discount some room for him.. they can do if they want. But my advise is sit down and ask your self, is this going someplace or is time being wasted.
 
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Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
I want to tell you something from an Arab woman perspective, please don’t take offense, by no means do I try to disrespect. My husband and I live in western country now so I see both sides and I don’t think either is wrong. Your way of thinking differs so much from his that I really honestly don’t see a legit relationship working for you and him. For example, we don’t casually date or have relationship similar to western world, our relationship starts always with the understanding we are in this to marry. So if you are to the point that you want to see him he thinks it will lead to a marriage. Also, I’m not saying I agree, but many women leave their children from another relationship if she has with her family and focus on her soon to be new love. Children will not come over your husband in most cases. So I know he is not interested in your children or who they are taken care of, he will never see this as his responsibility. Also if you expect a good man, Tunisian or any Arab or North African , never ever use vulgar words to him or in front of him, when Arab man hear this it’s not reversed and he will understand your not practical, therefore only good to use to his benefit. If you don’t want to pay for travel tell him this , be prepared to wait as he may not save money as fast as you could, but if he wants to see you then make him pay. Believe me if he wants it he will borrow 500 dinar from each friend that has it and purchase what you need to visit and he has friends that manage apartments I’m sure and they will discount some room for him.. they can do if they want. But my advise is sit down and ask your self, is this going someplace or is time being wasted.
He is illegal in Germany, so how the hell is he going to get to New Zealand anyway?
 
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