Introducing the Queen of one- liners our very own simple :)

[MH007]

Lol simps I've missed this thread

MH x

 

[simple]

 

[simple]

 

[simple]

 

[JGG]

This story is true and im sure a lot of you must have read about it ,,,,But its so funny ,it has to be put in the thread ,,,,,A Tunisian man was being interviewed by Airport police at Heathrow ,He appeared harrased and was looking nervous ,so 2 officers took aside to question him ,,,{Police ,,, " Your name " {Tunisian " Abdul Aziz " [Police " Sex " {Tunisian " Yes 6 times a week " [Police ,no no i mean male or female " [Tunisian " " Dosnt matter male or female sometimes even camal " <<,

Bahahaha OMG....I can't breathe

 

[JGG]

ODE TO A RAT ;;;;; I see your face when i am dreaming ,thats why i wake up screaming .Kind,intelligent ,loving and hot .this describes everything your not .Roses are wilting ,violets are dead ,the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.Love may be beautiful ,love may be bliss ,i only slept with you because i was pissed .My feelings for you no words can tell ,except for maybe ,,go to hell ,,,

............still can't breath ong I'm dying here...I have tears

 

[MH007]

............still can't breath ong I'm dying here...I have tears

Hahahaha your reactions are killing me

MH x

 

[simple]

I was talking to a rat online recently and he was telling me how poor he is ,how his mother who is diabetic cant afford insulin,,how his 7 year old sister has to sell flowers in the street at night and i got all chocked up ,,,,Its my fault for laughing and eating at the same time ,,

 

[simple]

I came out of cake shop in Hammamet with the biggest slice of cheesecake ,just about to go in my mouth ,when a rat said to me he hadnt eaten for 3 days ..I told him i wish i had your will power!!

 

[Lass]

@simple omg I seriously needed it tonight, you really cracked me up with that last one! I love reading your comments!

 

[simple]

@simple omg I seriously needed it tonight, you really cracked me up with that last one! I love reading your comments!

Laughter is the best cure ,,it got me through many dark moments ,,thats why i think this thread is important xxx

 

[Lass]

On Valentines Day a rat went to buy a card for his one true love... He bought 20.

 

[simple]

I remember when i used to visit my rat i would get love sick ,,or claymidia they call it now ..!!

 

[simple]

15 Bonobo rats have escaped from a zoo in Tunis ,so far authoroties have recaptured 60,000 of them ...

 

[simple]

I saw a rat chocking on a chicken nugget ,then i realised, thats why they are called happy meals !!

 

[simple]

I once asked my rat ,if he liked nature ,despite what it did to him!! Everyone has the right to be ugly ,but dont abuse the privilage ..

 

[simple]

I saw my Tunisian neighbour on her balcony ,shaking her carpet ,,,I said whats wrong ,wont it start !!

 

[simple]

Easyjets profits continue to drop...Its so sad to see a receding airline !! ,,Who gets on a plane that dosnt go all the way ,thats why Virgin dosnt fly to Tunisia...

 

[simple]

 

[simple]

 

[Lass]

Morning all. Have a great day.

 

[simple]

My rat told me he slept with 7 people before we met,,I woudlnt mind ,but i was only 20 minutes late ..

 

[simple]

Give a rat a fish and he can eat for a day ,,give him a fishing rod and he"ll put it through your letter box and nick your car keys !!

 

[simple]

99% of rats dont know how to turn on the dishwasher ,,,Apparently asking if shes awake ,does the trick

 

[simple]

My rats brother refused to believe he was gay and dyslexic ,,He was in Daniel !!

 

[simple]

 

[simple]

What bounces and makes rats cry!! My cheques to western union ..

 

[simple]

Seeing my ex for the first time in months left me with just one thought,,,i wish the neighbours dog would stop digging up my garden !!

 

[SouthernGirl]

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Lol! This one, I’m taking and will post on my Facebook. You’ve always got the best jokes, @simple.

 

[simple]

Lol! This one, I’m taking and will post on my Facebook. You’ve always got the best jokes, @simple.

Everything is at your disposal ,feel free and "Always look on the bright side of life " xxx