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Is age really just a number?

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
What a lovely post, I really like the poetic side of it as I love poems as well and fairy stories bcz usually they have a happy ending..
However I'm also a realistic and I look at the world we live now, age difference MATTERS a lot, of course they don't care bcz at the end of the day they get what they want from you... visa, money, status etc.... but to be truthful they know that you will die before him anyway due to the advance age gap, so becareful before you get too involved with a younger rat.
Thanks @Tinker-lulu. Nice to know you’re a fellow poetry lover. I’ve been writing since I was 10 and have close to 300 poems. Easy for me to write from my heart...so have poems about family members, colleagues and friends who have passed away, motivational poetry, poetry about my feelings in different situations and poetry about people who have positively and negatively impacted my life...including the men I’ve been in love with over the years. If only there was always a happy ending.
But yes, you are correct that age matters. I didn’t even think about those rats who date/marry really old women knowing they only have so long to live. Family members and close friends may clearly what is going on...but when we’re in love we are often blind as bats and don’t see what is actually happening. Rats only have one aim and that is to bleed you dry and to get whatever they wanted...money, visa etc. They don’t have hearts and think only of themselves. Sadly they prey on empathetic women who see the best in others. Little do we realise what we are dealing with until it is too late. Damage done. Definitely I won’t be getting involved with another rat...so will keep an eye out for the ones much younger than me and look too good to be true. Once bitten twice shy! xx
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
I think the rat mum knew about you as they are all in on it together you know with one big fat goal...to make their lazy good for nothing sons richer and therefore a better catch on the village cousin bride open market. I'm the same as you over the Arab male thing. Im definitely staying off that train x
I don’t blame you one bit @Tigerpants. Perhaps I was too kind thinking my rat’s mum didn’t know about me. I think there are a lot of things I didn’t know were going on behind the scenes. She did dote over her son and despite telling him almost daily (even when I was on calls with him) to get off his lazy butt and find a job, Next thing she was serving him food on a tray, making him tea and picking up his clothes after him. I wonder if he tries to get his wife to do all the things his mum did for him. I hope she puts him in his place. Many Arabs are very good looking...but I’m not going near one ever again. I’m staying off that train just like you. x
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Google translate :confused:


hello, I'm new and I've been following you for a long time since I also met mice (Moroccans, Egyptians and Tunisians and maybe even Omani ..... I don't miss anything). now i am dating a Tunisian guy 18 years younger than me (we are both in Italy). Maybe it's a mouse, maybe not ... sure it won't get anything from me but I'll only use it to have good sex when I feel like it. Simple, they use us and we use them. For now he has always paid for dinners and outings ... as soon as I realize he will ask for something, I close with lu

MH x
Thanks for translating @MH007. Makes a lot more sense now. Didn’t know what language it was so wasn’t sure how to Google Translate without knowing this information. You are a star. xx
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
Hi again everyone. Hope you are all well. For some months I have been grappling with the question above. This is mainly aimed at those who were, like me, engaged in an online relationship with a rat...but never ever met them in person. Mine sent me a FB friend request in 2013 but I only started noticing him liking my posts in 2014. We slowly started chatting through public comment replies but later started sending private messages to each other. As I’m sure you all know, the love-bombing doesn’t take long to start and the “golden period” was in full swing before too long. I’ve enjoyed writing poetry since I was a child so have quite a vivid imagination at time. During the “golden period” I felt like a princess and saw my rat as Prince Charming...the only man to ever fully understand me and be willing to hear me out...no matter how trivial my discussions were. He was patient, emphatic and understanding. Only after the devaluation period did I realise that he had only been mirroring me...enjoying the same sport, music, general interests and he loved me reading my poetry to him. This in turn inspired me to write several poems about him. I’m sure many of you had rats who would fill your heads with dreams of a romantic life together, being with each other 24/7 (which started sounding a bit like possessiveness after a year or so). Of course I was the person he thought of as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning and before he fell asleep at night. It was like something out of a romance book....all the compliments and loving gestures. Of course I slowly realised that he was pushing for us to meet and eventually get married (as soon as possible for his own safety). He also told me that he did not want to be forced to join the military services and that he would have to go if I didn’t speed up the process. No pressure of course. My mind would always wander back to the romance of it all...walking along a deserted beach hand in hand and kissing in the rain. So much in love. Even though I was so “in love” with him (or rather “addicted to him”) as time went on and he kept pressing for us to meet and marry (of course being very polite when doing so....after all he only wanted to finally have me in his arms so he could love me and look after me in person), I started thinking about the realities of us actually meeting. Our minds can play tricks on us (with the unmistakable help of the rat of course) and we conjure up romantic scenarios of how we will be when we are together in the real world. My rat and I have a 17 year age gap. I am in my late 40s and still consider myself quite attractive (or so others tell me) and look after my body (although do suffer with the common middle age problems such as backache etc.) I am quite short at just under 5ft 3inches) My rat was over 6ft 3inches. As romantic as the thoughts on my head were, I began to wonder just how comfortable I would feel walking arm in arm or holding hands with a man who could fit me under his armpit. Despite him always saying he would just go down on his knees and kiss me that way so that I would feel more comfortable (as if I’d have him do that out in public), I just couldn’t get used to the thought. Although I tried to not let it enter my mind I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable I would feel walking around in public with someone who, besides making me look like a midget) was basically young enough to be my son. I know I’ve walked past the odd couple where there is an obvious large age gap...and wondered why they were together...especially when the male seems to look like an Arab or similar. I’m sure there are many couples with huge age gaps who are perfectly happy...but I’m sure many others (don’t want to appear sexist...but mainly the men) are scammers with ulterior motives...such as those mentioned on this site. I hate drawing attention and often say I would love to be able to walk in public and not have anyone see me. If I am walking around with a towering man who looks much younger than me...what would others be thinking? I know I shouldn’t care...but that really bothered me. My rat would tell me how he would just kiss me in the middle of the street or start dancing with me randomly in a shopping mall. He made it sound like something out of a romantic movie...but I just kept thinking to myself, “I don’t think so!” In dreamland it seems so good...but in reality.... He would also tell me how he would make love to me out in public as if that was something normal. I in turn was thinking of my back killing me and how I would never be able to show my face again in my city if anyone saw us. I think these rats watch far too much porn...and I also wonder how many of them actually do any of the things they will do when they finally meet “the love of their life” in person. In a way I’m glad I never met my rat because being the type of person I am, I don’t think I would have felt comfortable doing half the things he wanted to do with me...especially in public. He also told me that “age is just a number”....but in “my” real world, I don’t think that is completely true. Would really love to hear your thoughts about large age difference in relationships (specifically with these rats). Wondering if anyone feels the same way.☺️☺️☺️

It’s all crap and lies!!! Mine said age was like a shoe-size, just necessary!!!! He also said that when sending money to him, I shouldn’t think twice about it.............It was just like buying a bottle of water when I needed it!!! F.cking creep!!!!
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
Dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,their beliefs and dos and donts...Its very rare for a Tunisian to marry an older woman ,they wont accept another mans child as thier own ,they dont accept a divorced woman ,unless the man has kids of his own and needs a new wife to take care of them ,,they dont fish on the internet for love ,as love is not a criteria for marriage ..There are a few successful marriages with older foreign women,but its the woman that has adapted ,the ones that have moved to Tunisia to be with him,seem to last the longest..If he is prepared to make a life with you in his own country ,then chances are he is legit and not visa hunting,,And dont be fooled about a Tunisian only wanting sex in a relationship ,this is just a stepping stone to where he wants to be..Prehaps this guys visa is running out ,prehaps he cant pay his rent .Again dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,,,
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,their beliefs and dos and donts...Its very rare for a Tunisian to marry an older woman ,they wont accept another mans child as thier own ,they dont accept a divorced woman ,unless the man has kids of his own and needs a new wife to take care of them ,,they dont fish on the internet for love ,as love is not a criteria for marriage ..There are a few successful marriages with older foreign women,but its the woman that has adapted ,the ones that have moved to Tunisia to be with him,seem to last the longest..If he is prepared to make a life with you in his own country ,then chances are he is legit and not visa hunting,,And dont be fooled about a Tunisian only wanting sex in a relationship ,this is just a stepping stone to where he wants to be..Prehaps this guys visa is running out ,prehaps he cant pay his rent .Again dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,,,
Yes agreed simps, its the sheer nerve that they think they are entitled to our hard earned money whilst they sit on their greasy asses
 

Gamora

Major Ratslayer
Dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,their beliefs and dos and donts...Its very rare for a Tunisian to marry an older woman ,they wont accept another mans child as thier own ,they dont accept a divorced woman ,unless the man has kids of his own and needs a new wife to take care of them ,,they dont fish on the internet for love ,as love is not a criteria for marriage ..There are a few successful marriages with older foreign women,but its the woman that has adapted ,the ones that have moved to Tunisia to be with him,seem to last the longest..If he is prepared to make a life with you in his own country ,then chances are he is legit and not visa hunting,,And dont be fooled about a Tunisian only wanting sex in a relationship ,this is just a stepping stone to where he wants to be..Prehaps this guys visa is running out ,prehaps he cant pay his rent .Again dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,,,
If my rat taught me anything it was this. He basically said all this to me about their culture and religion. Then he tried to say that its mostly Arabs that believe this, not Berbers like him. Haha.

You are correct, they rarely marry an older women. While in my country, age is really just a number and people do not put too many emphasis on it. I find that all ages are beautiful. But with Tunisian rats, it is impossible (notice I said rats). My rats mother is a widow and she will never be able to remarry for the reason you stated above. She will live out her days alone.

I also told my rat the same thing, he can either establish life in his country, or establish himself in my country first by getting a job, a place of his own, a visa on his own that is not tied to me......... and we can date like a normal western couple (but with no sex and no living together). I challenged him to get his own visa, find his own job, and establish his own life in my or his country. Then we will see. This made him mad, which indicated to me that he was a rat.

He would always mention he is Berber and they have different culture than Arabs. Berbers have western ways he would say. Well that very well may be true for him, so he should not have had any problems establishing himself without my help or money (rolls eyes). What he was doing was trying to mimic my life to throw me off. I stood my ground and told him he still needed to establish himself fully.

They will mimic your life and pretend they like the western ways (they don't). Like Simple said, do not underestimate their upbringing. There are some Tunisians that step outside the cultural and religious norm, but it is rare. My rat was not one of the rare ones, I caught on to this fast.
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
If my rat taught me anything it was this. He basically said all this to me about their culture and religion. Then he tried to say that its mostly Arabs that believe this, not Berbers like him. Haha.

You are correct, they rarely marry an older women. While in my country, age is really just a number and people do not put too many emphasis on it. I find that all ages are beautiful. But with Tunisian rats, it is impossible (notice I said rats). My rats mother is a widow and she will never be able to remarry for the reason you stated above. She will live out her days alone.

I also told my rat the same thing, he can either establish life in his country, or establish himself in my country first by getting a job, a place of his own, a visa on his own that is not tied to me......... and we can date like a normal western couple (but with no sex and no living together). I challenged him to get his own visa, find his own job, and establish his own life in my or his country. Then we will see. This made him mad, which indicated to me that he was a rat.

He would always mention he is Berber and they have different culture than Arabs. Berbers have western ways he would say. Well that very well may be true for him, so he should not have had any problems establishing himself without my help or money (rolls eyes). What he was doing was trying to mimic my life to throw me off. I stood my ground and told him he still needed to establish himself fully.

They will mimic your life and pretend they like the western ways (they don't). Like Simple said, do not underestimate their upbringing. There are some Tunisians that step outside the cultural and religious norm, but it is rare. My rat was not one of the rare ones, I caught on to this fast.
A majority are not the rare ones,,,As in any country ,regardless of faith,,,The way you were raised is how you live and teach your own children how to live ,,Women are second class ,,full stop!!! They do not have the freedom of choice ,they cannot live as a westerner and the ones who do are seen as whores ,,,Its the Tunisian women of a family ,that raise the kids and its the men who indoctrinate the beliefs ,,The fathers take the boys to salat [pray].The mothers teach the girls to cook ,the ,men are supposed to provide ,the women are suposed to serve,,,This is a Berber belief as much as an arab belief...Tunisia is seen as a progressive country ,but its all fluff and smoke blown into the eyes of the outsider ,,The insider sees it as it is ,,So dont believe what you are told by your rat about Tunisia .And my favourite quote is from @Myriam1 ,,if he cant cant succeed in Tunisia ,he cant succeed anywhere ..And that is 100% true,,,
 

Gamora

Major Ratslayer
A majority are not the rare ones,,,As in any country ,regardless of faith,,,The way you were raised is how you live and teach your own children how to live ,,Women are second class ,,full stop!!! They do not have the freedom of choice ,they cannot live as a westerner and the ones who do are seen as whores ,,,Its the Tunisian women of a family ,that raise the kids and its the men who indoctrinate the beliefs ,,The fathers take the boys to salat [pray].The mothers teach the girls to cook ,the ,men are supposed to provide ,the women are suposed to serve,,,This is a Berber belief as much as an arab belief...Tunisia is seen as a progressive country ,but its all fluff and smoke blown into the eyes of the outsider ,,The insider sees it as it is ,,So dont believe what you are told by your rat about Tunisia .And my favourite quote is from @Myriam1 ,,if he cant cant succeed in Tunisia ,he cant succeed anywhere ..And that is 100% true,,,
Love this quote.

I did not believe any of those hot gases that was coming out of his mouth. If he wanted to be with me, I told him to get himself together like a normal man would and do not rely on me for anything, praise and cheering from the sidelines. I wasn't going to offer him a thing. He did not like that one bit. I did not believe a word he said. I laughed at him half the time because he was horrible at mimicking my life.
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
Love this quote.

I did not believe any of those hot gases that was coming out of his mouth. If he wanted to be with me, I told him to get himself together like a normal man would and do not rely on me for anything, praise and cheering from the sidelines. I wasn't going to offer him a thing. He did not like that one bit. I did not believe a word he said. I laughed at him half the time because he was horrible at mimicking my life.
many do believe their rats and that is how rats take control ,,Because Tunisia looks like an underdevoleped country ,the infrastructer ,the broken roads ,no proper sewer system ,dead carcuses hanging from meat stalls outside in the heat ..It all seems dirty to a Tourist ..Whereas in fact ,it is a developing country and anyone with a determination to study hard or work hard can acheive ...And its a lot cleaner than people think ..
 

Gamora

Major Ratslayer
many do believe their rats and that is how rats take control ,,Because Tunisia looks like an underdevoleped country ,the infrastructer ,the broken roads ,no proper sewer system ,dead carcuses hanging from meat stalls outside in the heat ..It all seems dirty to a Tourist ..Whereas in fact ,it is a developing country and anyone with a determination to study hard or work hard can acheive ...And its a lot cleaner than people think ..

I agree this is how they get their victims. I guess because I am very analytical and I am a researcher, I was able to pick up on his crap early on. Not one person on this earth will be able to tell me something and I just believe it. I will go right behind them and do my homework.

At first, we started off with a friendship. When he started "developing feelings," I took the liberty to allow him to hang himself. I let him say things to me and I did my own due diligence. He thought I was just going to be gullible. No, I decided to research and get other opinions. I started to douse myself in his culture and religion. Some things were not adding up. So I let him continue to spew lies.

I travel a lot. I actually don't mind countries like Tunisia, Morocco, or any developing country, because there is usually a lot of history within these countries, and I love history, hence the reason I don't mind visiting them. However, after finding out a bezness, I will never allow a rat to even breath or speak to me. I stick with the local tour guides and the people I travel with. Not to be rude to the locals, but I prefer to not mingle with them unless I am visiting one of their stores and buying something. The best way to deal with a rat is to not deal with one at all. But overall, I love to visit developing countries every once in a while. History intrigues me.
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
many do believe their rats and that is how rats take control ,,Because Tunisia looks like an underdevoleped country ,the infrastructer ,the broken roads ,no proper sewer system ,dead carcuses hanging from meat stalls outside in the heat ..It all seems dirty to a Tourist ..Whereas in fact ,it is a developing country and anyone with a determination to study hard or work hard can acheive ...And its a lot cleaner than people think ..
Sorry............I don’t agree on the cleanliness, Simple.............My stay there was invaded and infested by flies everywhere, so much so that I couldn’t eat my food at the restaurant at all .............They didn’t seem to understand that when I pointed out that they could close the doors and put the air-conditioning on !!!! The piles of rubbish in the back streets as well...............Disgusting..............Yuk..............And without bribery or nepotism, they have no chance for career progression either...............
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
If my rat taught me anything it was this. He basically said all this to me about their culture and religion. Then he tried to say that its mostly Arabs that believe this, not Berbers like him. Haha.

You are correct, they rarely marry an older women. While in my country, age is really just a number and people do not put too many emphasis on it. I find that all ages are beautiful. But with Tunisian rats, it is impossible (notice I said rats). My rats mother is a widow and she will never be able to remarry for the reason you stated above. She will live out her days alone.

Good Poppy he is doing a great job exposing himself more it increases his chances for a visa more and more. They are all so bloody ridiculous with these friend requests as if we don't know the truth now they keep lying about it even when they are caught. My rat comes to kill me when he can find me :D. I don't care what he is saying I don't open his texts no more and he gets angrier by the minute I think I had 3 messages in messenger today :rolleyes:


He would always mention he is Berber and they have different culture than Arabs. Berbers have western ways he would say. Well that very well may be true for him, so he should not have had any problems establishing himself without my help or money (rolls eyes). What he was doing was trying to mimic my life to throw me off. I stood my ground and told him he still needed to establish himself fully.

They will mimic your life and pretend they like the western ways (they don't). Like Simple said, do not underestimate their upbringing. There are some Tunisians that step outside the cultural and religious norm, but it is rare. My rat was not one of the rare ones, I caught on to this fast.
This is precisely my attitude too , if you are a useless shirker in your own country then why would we think you will be a success in ours one day. The fact is he simply won't and I wouldn't want that huge burden on my shoulders of having a man child to have to babysit.
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
Sorry............I don’t agree on the cleanliness, Simple.............My stay there was invaded and infested by flies everywhere, so much so that I couldn’t eat my food at the restaurant at all .............They didn’t seem to understand that when I pointed out that they could close the doors and put the air-conditioning on !!!! The piles of rubbish in the back streets as well...............Disgusting..............Yuk..............And without bribery or nepotism, they have no chance for career progression either...............
yes this is what a lot of foreigners see ,,,and yes bribery and nepotism is rife ...But there are many restaurants that Tunisians eat in that are up to a standard ,where the food is excellent and the conditions are clean,,,And the work front may have changed since i was there ,but there was a time where the chance to make money .through hard work and commitment meant something...Nepotism may get you through the door ,but a good work ethic ,determins the result...But i understand your disgust ,,because i saw it to ,The rubbish is collected every week ,but many dont even bother using bin liners,,,The roads are swept daily ,but people litter everywhere .With a rat ,they have never had to pick up after them ,or clean a toilet ,or wash their own clothes ,the women of the family have always done it ,So if you have 4 or 5 rats living together ,,,its normally the youngest that has to take on the roll of washer and cleaner and gofer,,,
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
yes this is what a lot of foreigners see ,,,and yes bribery and nepotism is rife ...But there are many restaurants that Tunisians eat in that are up to a standard ,where the food is excellent and the conditions are clean,,,And the work front may have changed since i was there ,but there was a time where the chance to make money .through hard work and commitment meant something...Nepotism may get you through the door ,but a good work ethic ,determins the result...But i understand your disgust ,,because i saw it to ,The rubbish is collected every week ,but many dont even bother using bin liners,,,The roads are swept daily ,but people litter everywhere .With a rat ,they have never had to pick up after them ,or clean a toilet ,or wash their own clothes ,the women of the family have always done it ,So if you have 4 or 5 rats living together ,,,its normally the youngest that has to take on the roll of washer and cleaner and gofer,,,
I agree the rubbish bins are there but most don't use them.

What I really loved was the bin to put food in for the cats and the cat man (woman) came to empty them and fed the cats.

I also witnessed that a lot of stall holders at the marina would put bowls of water out plus food and looked out for the strays.

Not all Tunisians abuse animals but a lot do and I hate the horse and carts.

MH x
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
I agree the rubbish bins are there but most don't use them.

What I really loved was the bin to put food in for the cats and the cat man (woman) came to empty them and fed the cats.

I also witnessed that a lot of stall holders at the marina would put bowls of water out plus food and looked out for the strays.

Not all Tunisians abuse animals but a lot do and I hate the horse and carts.

MH x

Oh my Goodness............Those poor horses............That made me cry.............Disgusting.................I also witnessed a poor parrot being covered in it’s cage and left outside all night at Hammamet Marina.............
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,their beliefs and dos and donts...Its very rare for a Tunisian to marry an older woman ,they wont accept another mans child as thier own ,they dont accept a divorced woman ,unless the man has kids of his own and needs a new wife to take care of them ,,they dont fish on the internet for love ,as love is not a criteria for marriage ..There are a few successful marriages with older foreign women,but its the woman that has adapted ,the ones that have moved to Tunisia to be with him,seem to last the longest..If he is prepared to make a life with you in his own country ,then chances are he is legit and not visa hunting,,And dont be fooled about a Tunisian only wanting sex in a relationship ,this is just a stepping stone to where he wants to be..Prehaps this guys visa is running out ,prehaps he cant pay his rent .Again dont underestimate the power of their upbringing ,,,
Thanks for this @simple. Had I read this when things were still in “romantic” (can’t think of the word but it’s probably not this) phase of our relationship I would have added up the dots and realised that I was ticking most of the boxes and was probably being used and abused for a visa. I’d like to think I would have taken heed and told him exactly where he could go. It’s a pity that we think with our hearts instead of our heads once we are addicted and we try to find any and every way to absolve them of their obvious “crimes”. I very much doubt that I will allow myself to get involved in another online relationship. After this experience I really don’t think I will trust any man online...especially if he moves too fast. I’ve learned a very hard lesson and one that will remain with me forever. xx
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
Thanks for this @simple. Had I read this when things were still in “romantic” (can’t think of the word but it’s probably not this) phase of our relationship I would have added up the dots and realised that I was ticking most of the boxes and was probably being used and abused for a visa. I’d like to think I would have taken heed and told him exactly where he could go. It’s a pity that we think with our hearts instead of our heads once we are addicted and we try to find any and every way to absolve them of their obvious “crimes”. I very much doubt that I will allow myself to get involved in another online relationship. After this experience I really don’t think I will trust any man online...especially if he moves too fast. I’ve learned a very hard lesson and one that will remain with me forever. xx

Perfectly said, SL...........
 

Jennie

Senior Rat Expert
Hi again everyone. Hope you are all well. For some months I have been grappling with the question above. This is mainly aimed at those who were, like me, engaged in an online relationship with a rat...but never ever met them in person. Mine sent me a FB friend request in 2013 but I only started noticing him liking my posts in 2014. We slowly started chatting through public comment replies but later started sending private messages to each other. As I’m sure you all know, the love-bombing doesn’t take long to start and the “golden period” was in full swing before too long. I’ve enjoyed writing poetry since I was a child so have quite a vivid imagination at time. During the “golden period” I felt like a princess and saw my rat as Prince Charming...the only man to ever fully understand me and be willing to hear me out...no matter how trivial my discussions were. He was patient, emphatic and understanding. Only after the devaluation period did I realise that he had only been mirroring me...enjoying the same sport, music, general interests and he loved me reading my poetry to him. This in turn inspired me to write several poems about him. I’m sure many of you had rats who would fill your heads with dreams of a romantic life together, being with each other 24/7 (which started sounding a bit like possessiveness after a year or so). Of course I was the person he thought of as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning and before he fell asleep at night. It was like something out of a romance book....all the compliments and loving gestures. Of course I slowly realised that he was pushing for us to meet and eventually get married (as soon as possible for his own safety). He also told me that he did not want to be forced to join the military services and that he would have to go if I didn’t speed up the process. No pressure of course. My mind would always wander back to the romance of it all...walking along a deserted beach hand in hand and kissing in the rain. So much in love. Even though I was so “in love” with him (or rather “addicted to him”) as time went on and he kept pressing for us to meet and marry (of course being very polite when doing so....after all he only wanted to finally have me in his arms so he could love me and look after me in person), I started thinking about the realities of us actually meeting. Our minds can play tricks on us (with the unmistakable help of the rat of course) and we conjure up romantic scenarios of how we will be when we are together in the real world. My rat and I have a 17 year age gap. I am in my late 40s and still consider myself quite attractive (or so others tell me) and look after my body (although do suffer with the common middle age problems such as backache etc.) I am quite short at just under 5ft 3inches) My rat was over 6ft 3inches. As romantic as the thoughts on my head were, I began to wonder just how comfortable I would feel walking arm in arm or holding hands with a man who could fit me under his armpit. Despite him always saying he would just go down on his knees and kiss me that way so that I would feel more comfortable (as if I’d have him do that out in public), I just couldn’t get used to the thought. Although I tried to not let it enter my mind I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable I would feel walking around in public with someone who, besides making me look like a midget) was basically young enough to be my son. I know I’ve walked past the odd couple where there is an obvious large age gap...and wondered why they were together...especially when the male seems to look like an Arab or similar. I’m sure there are many couples with huge age gaps who are perfectly happy...but I’m sure many others (don’t want to appear sexist...but mainly the men) are scammers with ulterior motives...such as those mentioned on this site. I hate drawing attention and often say I would love to be able to walk in public and not have anyone see me. If I am walking around with a towering man who looks much younger than me...what would others be thinking? I know I shouldn’t care...but that really bothered me. My rat would tell me how he would just kiss me in the middle of the street or start dancing with me randomly in a shopping mall. He made it sound like something out of a romantic movie...but I just kept thinking to myself, “I don’t think so!” In dreamland it seems so good...but in reality.... He would also tell me how he would make love to me out in public as if that was something normal. I in turn was thinking of my back killing me and how I would never be able to show my face again in my city if anyone saw us. I think these rats watch far too much porn...and I also wonder how many of them actually do any of the things they will do when they finally meet “the love of their life” in person. In a way I’m glad I never met my rat because being the type of person I am, I don’t think I would have felt comfortable doing half the things he wanted to do with me...especially in public. He also told me that “age is just a number”....but in “my” real world, I don’t think that is completely true. Would really love to hear your thoughts about large age difference in relationships (specifically with these rats). Wondering if anyone feels the same way.☺️☺️☺️
Oh my god
This is me. Everything and I mean everything down to your height & his height
This is from August do have an update on how things are going?
 

Jennie

Senior Rat Expert
I think we loved the notion of a younger, handsome guy with an adorable slightly french accent wooing us, who wouldn't ? It's when the reality sets in which for me was being lovebombed on a whole new level, like all your Christmas's rolled into one. Then when we finally got alone time and sealed the deal , it was a huge monumental disappointment.
All of the suspected and anticipated fire and passion was essentially 2 pumps and a squirt, I told him when I got home that it was just not what I had expected.No dreamland there for me, just extreme frustration.
I'm not entirely sure if it's a- lack of experience ( of which I have plenty after long co habiting relationships) or b- not really into me as its bezness after all. I suspect a combo of both.
Then all the other things began to really p me off. Lazing around doing f all , drinking beer whilst lazing around doing f all when Im working my ass off. Asking can I show him the outside of my house etc...on FaceTime (assessing my wealth). We walked past a car the same as mine in Hammamet one evening before I knew about rats and said thats my car, he nearly choked, now I know why.
I do think they try to mirror us, its all part of the big plan. When we are away from them, they simply revert to tossing it off in coffee shops, and doing f all.
I never felt the age gap thing as an issue as I take good care of myself but knew he was a bit younger- walked around without a care in the world and would again tomorrow (obvs not with him).
I would never ever entertain a Tunisian male again period!
YOU ARE ME!!!
It’s actually kinda freaking me OUT!
My rat asked to see my house too.
I rent a very basic 3 bedroom house with my 2 daughters, 2005 Dodge Durango thats currently in the shop & my credit is SHOT.
I am not an investment either.

I tell myself that my guy isn’t a rat because if he was a rat he would not have wasted his time on me.
I am incredibly shy. He begged me for a month just to talk on the phone.
Then it took another month for me to finally FaceTime him.
I know my logic is flawed but it’s just how my brain thinks
 

Jennie

Senior Rat Expert
Sorry............I don’t agree on the cleanliness, Simple.............My stay there was invaded and infested by flies everywhere, so much so that I couldn’t eat my food at the restaurant at all .............They didn’t seem to understand that when I pointed out that they could close the doors and put the air-conditioning on !!!! The piles of rubbish in the back streets as well...............Disgusting..............Yuk..............And without bribery or nepotism, they have no chance for career progression either...............
I’m curious where in Tunisia did you go?
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
YOU ARE ME!!!
It’s actually kinda freaking me OUT!
My rat asked to see my house too.
I rent a very basic 3 bedroom house with my 2 daughters, 2005 Dodge Durango thats currently in the shop & my credit is SHOT.
I am not an investment either.

I tell myself that my guy isn’t a rat because if he was a rat he would not have wasted his time on me.
I am incredibly shy. He begged me for a month just to talk on the phone.
Then it took another month for me to finally FaceTime him.
I know my logic is flawed but it’s just how my brain thinks
You have the most valuable thing he wants and that is a visa in the future. He wants you hooked to him so you can't stay away from him. Just be careful plse xx
 

Olivia 24

Well-Known Member
Hi again everyone. Hope you are all well. For some months I have been grappling with the question above. This is mainly aimed at those who were, like me, engaged in an online relationship with a rat...but never ever met them in person. Mine sent me a FB friend request in 2013 but I only started noticing him liking my posts in 2014. We slowly started chatting through public comment replies but later started sending private messages to each other. As I’m sure you all know, the love-bombing doesn’t take long to start and the “golden period” was in full swing before too long. I’ve enjoyed writing poetry since I was a child so have quite a vivid imagination at time. During the “golden period” I felt like a princess and saw my rat as Prince Charming...the only man to ever fully understand me and be willing to hear me out...no matter how trivial my discussions were. He was patient, emphatic and understanding. Only after the devaluation period did I realise that he had only been mirroring me...enjoying the same sport, music, general interests and he loved me reading my poetry to him. This in turn inspired me to write several poems about him. I’m sure many of you had rats who would fill your heads with dreams of a romantic life together, being with each other 24/7 (which started sounding a bit like possessiveness after a year or so). Of course I was the person he thought of as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning and before he fell asleep at night. It was like something out of a romance book....all the compliments and loving gestures. Of course I slowly realised that he was pushing for us to meet and eventually get married (as soon as possible for his own safety). He also told me that he did not want to be forced to join the military services and that he would have to go if I didn’t speed up the process. No pressure of course. My mind would always wander back to the romance of it all...walking along a deserted beach hand in hand and kissing in the rain. So much in love. Even though I was so “in love” with him (or rather “addicted to him”) as time went on and he kept pressing for us to meet and marry (of course being very polite when doing so....after all he only wanted to finally have me in his arms so he could love me and look after me in person), I started thinking about the realities of us actually meeting. Our minds can play tricks on us (with the unmistakable help of the rat of course) and we conjure up romantic scenarios of how we will be when we are together in the real world. My rat and I have a 17 year age gap. I am in my late 40s and still consider myself quite attractive (or so others tell me) and look after my body (although do suffer with the common middle age problems such as backache etc.) I am quite short at just under 5ft 3inches) My rat was over 6ft 3inches. As romantic as the thoughts on my head were, I began to wonder just how comfortable I would feel walking arm in arm or holding hands with a man who could fit me under his armpit. Despite him always saying he would just go down on his knees and kiss me that way so that I would feel more comfortable (as if I’d have him do that out in public), I just couldn’t get used to the thought. Although I tried to not let it enter my mind I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable I would feel walking around in public with someone who, besides making me look like a midget) was basically young enough to be my son. I know I’ve walked past the odd couple where there is an obvious large age gap...and wondered why they were together...especially when the male seems to look like an Arab or similar. I’m sure there are many couples with huge age gaps who are perfectly happy...but I’m sure many others (don’t want to appear sexist...but mainly the men) are scammers with ulterior motives...such as those mentioned on this site. I hate drawing attention and often say I would love to be able to walk in public and not have anyone see me. If I am walking around with a towering man who looks much younger than me...what would others be thinking? I know I shouldn’t care...but that really bothered me. My rat would tell me how he would just kiss me in the middle of the street or start dancing with me randomly in a shopping mall. He made it sound like something out of a romantic movie...but I just kept thinking to myself, “I don’t think so!” In dreamland it seems so good...but in reality.... He would also tell me how he would make love to me out in public as if that was something normal. I in turn was thinking of my back killing me and how I would never be able to show my face again in my city if anyone saw us. I think these rats watch far too much porn...and I also wonder how many of them actually do any of the things they will do when they finally meet “the love of their life” in person. In a way I’m glad I never met my rat because being the type of person I am, I don’t think I would have felt comfortable doing half the things he wanted to do with me...especially in public. He also told me that “age is just a number”....but in “my” real world, I don’t think that is completely true. Would really love to hear your thoughts about large age difference in relationships (specifically with these rats). Wondering if anyone feels the same way.☺️☺️☺️
Where do they draw their ideas from? Shakespeare ?
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Where do they draw their ideas from? Shakespeare ?
God knows where he got these ideas, I mean kissing you in the middle of the street is kind of ok ish, dancing in a shopping mall is definitely a bridge to far for me ,then the make love in public :D oops, that wouldn't end well for him.
I'm guessing he's got these ideas from Dirty Dancing and Debbie Does Dallas

You're back killing you as he got arrested :D:D
 
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