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Is he a rat?

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
I was told there is this law with hotels but anything else is pretty much fine? Then I'm told staying somewhere like Sidi Bou Said is really nice and I'll like it. And then that I'll be miserable lol. So I'm not really sure anymore. I lived in Vietnam like I've said and yes it was polluted, crowded, loud, most didn't know english, no beach, humid, lots of bugs but I loved it. Idk
Hi, welcome... Members gave great advice already.

You're right, you love adventure and visiting other countries that do not represent first world confort and find the magic about each place, but there's a difference between being a solo traveler, with the only intention of discovering culture, food...etc than going with the idea of meeting someone to make plans for the future.

Members are right by saying it's not legal staying toghether at a hotel not being married, some members here were forced into marriage due that rule, their documents were confiscated and found themselves trapped.

Other scenario could be that he asks you to stay at his family home, which for foreigners sounds romantic, we believe it's part of respect, formalizing and makes us trust in them. When actually it's against their culture, not socially acceptable, they pretend to like you to the extent you feel the need to help them.

Red flag, he asked for money when he is a well traveled and studied man, think about a guy from your country doing this before taking you to a first date :confused:

Other subject to consider is, if he has spent years in France, means he has a Schengen visa. He can travel to most of European countries without problem, also to Mexico.
Mexico does not require separate visa for people with a Schengen visa, otherwise he would have to travel to Algeria to start paperwork.
Hope you find some of it useful, please take care of yourself, take time to evaluate if it represents a risk. Xx
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
if he has spent years in France, means he has a Schengen visa. He can travel to most of European countries without problem, also to Mexico.
I don’t believe he spent years in France. Or if he did, he must’ve been forced to get out, meaning he was there illegally or did something illegal. If he had a Schengen visa, @Chipmunk, you better believe he’d still be living there, or in any country in Europe. Maybe he told you he didn’t like the country and decided to go home after spending several years there lol Why would he and his family decide to go home during Covid when they have been living in France for many years and been well established? Going back to live in Tunisia in Covid times when the situation is even worse.

This is a great post with many excellent points! Several ladies told you why this guy doesn’t look good at all and I hope you can see and understand it’s just no speculation. Numerous things he told you are what all typical rats say. So many red flags and him asking you for money because he couldn’t afford the Universtuition -tuition that is free- was the most obvious sign he is planning to use you.

I’m sorry you are still into him. Dating this kind of guy is asking for trouble. Keep your eyes open and your wallet closed. Best wishes.
 
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Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
I don’t believe he spent years in France. Or if he did, he must’ve been forced to get out, meaning he was there illegally or did something illegal. If he had a Schengen visa, @Chipmunk, you better believe he’d still be living there, or in any country in Europe. Maybe he told you he didn’t like the country and decided to go home after spending several years there lol Why would he and his family decide to go home during Covid when they have been living in France for many years and been well established? Going back to live in Tunisia in Covid times when the situation is even worse.

This is a great post with many excellent points! Several ladies told you why this guy doesn’t look good at all and I hope you can see and understand it’s just no speculation. Numerous things he told you are what all typical rats say. So many red flags and him asking you for money because he couldn’t afford the Universtuition -tuition that is free- was the most obvious sign he is planning to use you.

I’m sorry you are still into him. Dating this kind of guy is asking for trouble. Keep your eyes open and your wallet closed. Best wishes.
No doubt in my mind he is a liar! I feel bad that he is brainwashing this girl, they say things like “ I lived in France” to sound more appealing and safe to the victim. Believe me if he was in France with his family living comfortably the French military couldn’t pull this rat family out to move back to Tunisia. Either they were there illegally and deported or never there to begin with…… with I leaning with never there to begin with! And he’s soooo good and blah blah, but he prefers not to meet in Muslim country and asked for her help with his tuition….. where is all that French money??? I’ll tell you… never existed, he fished her to use her, and if she is willing to stay in a room with him then fun for him! So money and easy sex, typical rat narrative! A good man would agree to Turkey even though it’s a Muslim country because he wouldn’t have THAT on his mind… what a joke and disgrace asking for money! Makes me completely sick! Free university Tunisia, but noooo he will decide to go to private university that is about 40k per year… now time to find someone to pay!
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Update: I'm moving to Turkey and starting a new life if all goes well with employer. He's doing his own thing, starting school, online business, saving money to move away from his family and out of Tunisia. Haven't planned anything with him or anything
Thank you for the update, @Chipmunk. Good luck with your move and with your new life. It’s good that you are thinking of yourself first and that he’s doing his thing on his own, saving money so he can realize his plans for the future (which is the way it should be anyway)

Just one thing. In case it happens: I’d advice you to not let him talk you into helping him financially, no matter what he says and the feelings you have for him. Remember no woman in his country would give him money. He wouldn’t even ask. Men there don’t ask money to women. Period. Only rats/losers/users take money from foreign women. It would be disrespectful of him and the requests would never stop. Do not do it, not even once, and even if he says it’s just a loan and he’ll reimburse you. They never give the money back. You don’t owe him anything and you don’t know him that well. Remember what your friends at home said since the beginning. They didn’t feel good about him and they may not be wrong.

I wish you the best with everything, Chipmunk, and please keep us posted once in a while so we know all is well with you.
 
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MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Update: I'm moving to Turkey and starting a new life if all goes well with employer. He's doing his own thing, starting school, online business, saving money to move away from his family and out of Tunisia. Haven't planned anything with him or anything
Thank you for the update Chipmunk and I am glad you are staying safe, why the move to Turkey?

He won't need a visa to visit there :speechless:

I wish you all the best and do please keep in touch.

MH x
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
I appreciate your honesty and I really hope it works out but I have to say I worry a little as Turkey is full of rats too :Cry:

MH x
Yes very true, especially in cities with a lot of tourists ( south beach cities). Istanbul is just so big it’s a mix of people just like anywhere…. I think you can use your good judgement to pick a good guy out of that selection.. hhh
 

Chipmunk

Well-Known Member
Yes very true, especially in cities with a lot of tourists ( south beach cities). Istanbul is just so big it’s a mix of people just like anywhere…. I think you can use your good judgement to pick a good guy out of that selection.. hhh
Yeah I'd be in Istanbul. Not really that concerned about the picking a guy thing. I will probably only stay a year and then move on to another country unless I really love it. I have a lot of countries on my list I plan on staying in haha
 
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