Welcome to TLR

Is he genuine?

Justme24

Major Ratslayer
Hi and thank you for accepting me, please can I have some advise please. I’ve met a guy on Facebook only 3 months ago. He is 21 and I am 25. Which I’ve read in the Arab world is a big no. He is in the army and is committed for another 4 years so can’t have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the Country. It was only last week he said he loved me then he blocked me and Said he couldn’t see me waiting the 4 years and he didn’t want to fall any further in love with me, he then unblocked me saying sorry he missed me and he wants to see where things go with us. He wants me to come and visit next year and he told me not to bring any money as he will cover everything. He has told his mum about me and when he returns home next week she wants to speak with me. He’s never asked for money, not asked for pictures of me, never spoke of anything sexual. He’s really sweet, he talks to me about Islam and wants me to know the truth. I really enjoy his company, but I don’t know if it true, I’m on his Facebook with all his friends and family the account is old, he updates his status and tags me in it. I’m a little confused.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Hi and thank you for accepting me, please can I have some advise please. I’ve met a guy on Facebook only 3 months ago. He is 21 and I am 25. Which I’ve read in the Arab world is a big no. He is in the army and is committed for another 4 years so can’t have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the Country. It was only last week he said he loved me then he blocked me and Said he couldn’t see me waiting the 4 years and he didn’t want to fall any further in love with me, he then unblocked me saying sorry he missed me and he wants to see where things go with us. He wants me to come and visit next year and he told me not to bring any money as he will cover everything. He has told his mum about me and when he returns home next week she wants to speak with me. He’s never asked for money, not asked for pictures of me, never spoke of anything sexual. He’s really sweet, he talks to me about Islam and wants me to know the truth. I really enjoy his company, but I don’t know if it true, I’m on his Facebook with all his friends and family the account is old, he updates his status and tags me in it. I’m a little confused.
Hi @Justme welcome to the forum. You met eachother on Facebook it's not unusual these days but it could be a red flag but for a genuine tunisian to meet his future wife there is unlikely. He blocked you because you would be waiting to long to meet eachother? Read a little here on some threads and see if you find similar words he use? I don't know much about the army but I am sure other members can help you more. @Aisha1, @Lass, @Mica can you help here please?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Justme24

Major Ratslayer
Hi @Justme welcome to the forum. You met eachother on Facebook it's not unusual these days but it could be a red flag but for a genuine tunisian to meet his future wife there is unlikely. He blocked you because you would be waiting to long to meet eachother? Read a little here on some threads and see if you find similar words he use? I don't know much about the army but I am sure other members can help you more. @aisha, @Lass, @Mica can you help here please?
Yes he blocked me to protect himself as he can’t leave the army for 4 years and said it was unfair to expect me to wait for 4 years. Sorry he is Algerian not Tunisia.
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
Hi and thank you for accepting me, please can I have some advise please. I’ve met a guy on Facebook only 3 months ago. He is 21 and I am 25. Which I’ve read in the Arab world is a big no. He is in the army and is committed for another 4 years so can’t have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the Country. It was only last week he said he loved me then he blocked me and Said he couldn’t see me waiting the 4 years and he didn’t want to fall any further in love with me, he then unblocked me saying sorry he missed me and he wants to see where things go with us. He wants me to come and visit next year and he told me not to bring any money as he will cover everything. He has told his mum about me and when he returns home next week she wants to speak with me. He’s never asked for money, not asked for pictures of me, never spoke of anything sexual. He’s really sweet, he talks to me about Islam and wants me to know the truth. I really enjoy his company, but I don’t know if it true, I’m on his Facebook with all his friends and family the account is old, he updates his status and tags me in it. I’m a little confused.
Yeah so there are several red flags...

1. He’s (supposedly) in the army and once you’ve fallen for him he will probably need money to “bail him out”

2. You’ve never met in person yet he’s told his family about you... this is generally not done in Tunisia unless there are bad intentions

3. About religion, ultimately this should be down to you but don’t let him coerce you into changing your beliefs

4. The blocking... it’s childish and seems a bit manipulative. But then he’s 21, and I should probably date older if I were you. Guys under 30 are too immature
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Hi and thank you for accepting me, please can I have some advise please. I’ve met a guy on Facebook only 3 months ago. He is 21 and I am 25. Which I’ve read in the Arab world is a big no. He is in the army and is committed for another 4 years so can’t have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the Country. It was only last week he said he loved me then he blocked me and Said he couldn’t see me waiting the 4 years and he didn’t want to fall any further in love with me, he then unblocked me saying sorry he missed me and he wants to see where things go with us. He wants me to come and visit next year and he told me not to bring any money as he will cover everything. He has told his mum about me and when he returns home next week she wants to speak with me. He’s never asked for money, not asked for pictures of me, never spoke of anything sexual. He’s really sweet, he talks to me about Islam and wants me to know the truth. I really enjoy his company, but I don’t know if it true, I’m on his Facebook with all his friends and family the account is old, he updates his status and tags me in it. I’m a little confused.
Welcome, and right off , meeting on internet, that’s how we all met our rats,the love then blocking...really? Sounds like a game already. As you have probably read on here unless you’re Muslim it’s a big no! The mom hey we’ve all met the mom brothers even father over phone oh and they just love us to pieces. Visa is what comes to mind for me because the age so close embassy will never t think bad about it . Just read here but 99%of the time it’s a big game to them of course it’s to gain something from you don’t ever think otherwise
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Hi and thank you for accepting me, please can I have some advise please. I’ve met a guy on Facebook only 3 months ago. He is 21 and I am 25. Which I’ve read in the Arab world is a big no. He is in the army and is committed for another 4 years so can’t have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the Country. It was only last week he said he loved me then he blocked me and Said he couldn’t see me waiting the 4 years and he didn’t want to fall any further in love with me, he then unblocked me saying sorry he missed me and he wants to see where things go with us. He wants me to come and visit next year and he told me not to bring any money as he will cover everything. He has told his mum about me and when he returns home next week she wants to speak with me. He’s never asked for money, not asked for pictures of me, never spoke of anything sexual. He’s really sweet, he talks to me about Islam and wants me to know the truth. I really enjoy his company, but I don’t know if it true, I’m on his Facebook with all his friends and family the account is old, he updates his status and tags me in it. I’m a little confused.
Hello and welcome....I have one question? What is your gut telling you? You mentioned that he is NOT ALLOWED to have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the country....yet he has already invited you to come for a visit AND to meet his family. Honestly, my opinion.....run as fast as you can.....in the other direction. He is already contradicting himself .....huge red flags.
I am very happy tho, that you are here on TLR.....I hope you figure it all out and the ladies here can help you to do that.♡
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
Hi and thank you for accepting me, please can I have some advise please. I’ve met a guy on Facebook only 3 months ago. He is 21 and I am 25. Which I’ve read in the Arab world is a big no. He is in the army and is committed for another 4 years so can’t have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the Country. It was only last week he said he loved me then he blocked me and Said he couldn’t see me waiting the 4 years and he didn’t want to fall any further in love with me, he then unblocked me saying sorry he missed me and he wants to see where things go with us. He wants me to come and visit next year and he told me not to bring any money as he will cover everything. He has told his mum about me and when he returns home next week she wants to speak with me. He’s never asked for money, not asked for pictures of me, never spoke of anything sexual. He’s really sweet, he talks to me about Islam and wants me to know the truth. I really enjoy his company, but I don’t know if it true, I’m on his Facebook with all his friends and family the account is old, he updates his status and tags me in it. I’m a little confused.
C the blocking u and then come bk on he loves u .That's called gaslight ing .please delete all your friends from there.they will get into your contacts and they share them for 10 dinars.there masters for hacking and getting your bank details used on line . B car3ful
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
C the blocking u and then come bk on he loves u .That's called gaslight ing .please delete all your friends from there.they will get into your contacts and they share them for 10 dinars.there masters for hacking and getting your bank details used on line . B car3ful
And do not send intimate photos because he won’t have to ask you for money with all your contacts he’ll just try to blackmail U so just be very careful
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Hi and thank you for accepting me, please can I have some advise please. I’ve met a guy on Facebook only 3 months ago. He is 21 and I am 25. Which I’ve read in the Arab world is a big no. He is in the army and is committed for another 4 years so can’t have a relationship with a foreigner or leave the Country. It was only last week he said he loved me then he blocked me and Said he couldn’t see me waiting the 4 years and he didn’t want to fall any further in love with me, he then unblocked me saying sorry he missed me and he wants to see where things go with us. He wants me to come and visit next year and he told me not to bring any money as he will cover everything. He has told his mum about me and when he returns home next week she wants to speak with me. He’s never asked for money, not asked for pictures of me, never spoke of anything sexual. He’s really sweet, he talks to me about Islam and wants me to know the truth. I really enjoy his company, but I don’t know if it true, I’m on his Facebook with all his friends and family the account is old, he updates his status and tags me in it. I’m a little confused.
I wouldn’t trust. Too wishy washy. Too young too.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Thank you, for all your responses. I’m glad I found this website and Ive taken in all your comments. What I’ve read here, he is displaying some red flags. I will be very cautious and see how things develop. Thanks again
Just be careful we are not criticizing yours we just know how we have ended up, so yes be careful we are here to help and share our experiences that we thought to be genuine at least for a moment❤️
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Thank you, for all your responses. I’m glad I found this website and Ive taken in all your comments. What I’ve read here, he is displaying some red flags. I will be very cautious and see how things develop. Thanks again
I too came here looking for advice and answers early on in my relationship with the Tunisian.....I was so sure my rat was different so I kindly said thank you for the tips and warnings and merrily went on my way to the worst two years of my life. I hope and pray your experience will be different and that you don't get wrapped up in the drama and mayhem of his life. You are on a Tunisian journey now and your path must be traveled to its destination whether it be good or bad.....just be very cautious and whatever you do....do not give him money or let him know about your monetary assets. Wishing you the best. :)
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Thank you, for all your responses. I’m glad I found this website and Ive taken in all your comments. What I’ve read here, he is displaying some red flags. I will be very cautious and see how things develop. Thanks again
So based on your introduction, modern Tunisians, Algerians, most Arabs in his age range they meet people on Facebook that are like mutual friends… it’s nothing to be alarmed by… but you were not a mutual friend obviously. Did he find you? If yes, then there is a reason and this reason is visa 100 percent. Also, one of the ladies above was absolutely correct when she said be alert that he is telling you straight up about the military is not good… he invited you here so you can fall in love with him to the point you’re willing to do whatever you can do to help him “escape”. Everything, absolutely everything here in Tunisia is bribed by money. You have the right amount of money then a doctor will sign off on dismissal papers for him to exempt from service. I’m Arab and Muslim, when you say he is telling you about Islam this early… it’s acceptable however inappropriate at the same time if that makes sense… he is encouraging you to change…this will be a pattern., however as the Prophet ( Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said we can not force this on anyone, it must be of free will., so just be aware. Now lastly and most important, he is 21, Arab men typically do not even think about marriage at that age or have money for a wedding, more like 28-31 age range, and if he said one time to you a huge wedding is not important then he is lying… this is important for us and mostly our families to show off and announce marriage. Our weddings are typically 3-5 days… unless you are super rich and can afford 7 days. My wedding was 3 days ( henna, bath, slaughter the animal for all the family, presentation of the jewelry, contract signing, the groom wedding, groom bath, and finally the venue wedding) Him telling his family about you right away is strange, we typically don’t speak on this with our family until we are absolutely sure of the situation or until we tell our parents and engagement will happen, which is another family party. So do you see where this situation is about 80 percent off?? Please feel free to ask anything and so glad you found this site, these ladies are amazing advisers:)
 

Justme24

Major Ratslayer
So based on your introduction, modern Tunisians, Algerians, most Arabs in his age range they meet people on Facebook that are like mutual friends… it’s nothing to be alarmed by… but you were not a mutual friend obviously. Did he find you? If yes, then there is a reason and this reason is visa 100 percent. Also, one of the ladies above was absolutely correct when she said be alert that he is telling you straight up about the military is not good… he invited you here so you can fall in love with him to the point you’re willing to do whatever you can do to help him “escape”. Everything, absolutely everything here in Tunisia is bribed by money. You have the right amount of money then a doctor will sign off on dismissal papers for him to exempt from service. I’m Arab and Muslim, when you say he is telling you about Islam this early… it’s acceptable however inappropriate at the same time if that makes sense… he is encouraging you to change…this will be a pattern., however as the Prophet ( Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said we can not force this on anyone, it must be of free will., so just be aware. Now lastly and most important, he is 21, Arab men typically do not even think about marriage at that age or have money for a wedding, more like 28-31 age range, and if he said one time to you a huge wedding is not important then he is lying… this is important for us and mostly our families to show off and announce marriage. Our weddings are typically 3-5 days… unless you are super rich and can afford 7 days. My wedding was 3 days ( henna, bath, slaughter the animal for all the family, presentation of the jewelry, contract signing, the groom wedding, groom bath, and finally the venue wedding) Him telling his family about you right away is strange, we typically don’t speak on this with our family until we are absolutely sure of the situation or until we tell our parents and engagement will happen, which is another family party. So do you see where this situation is about 80 percent off?? Please feel free to ask anything and so glad you found this site, these ladies are amazing advisers:)
Thank you Aisha, your post has really made me question if he is genuine. I suppose my gut is telling me to run as I wouldn’t of looked on the internet for this website. He has already lied to me and confessed his lie about 6 weeks into talking to me. He told me he was at university still studying then he admitted he was in the army. He only joined the army 6 months ago he dropped out of uni. I didn’t understand the lie but now this makes sense. As for your weddings they are amazing he has sent me videos of how extravagant they are. Ive not said I love him because I don’t, I enjoy talking to him. Maybe I should go before I do fall for him.
 

Justme24

Major Ratslayer
I too came here looking for advice and answers early on in my relationship with the Tunisian.....I was so sure my rat was different so I kindly said thank you for the tips and warnings and merrily went on my way to the worst two years of my life. I hope and pray your experience will be different and that you don't get wrapped up in the drama and mayhem of his life. You are on a Tunisian journey now and your path must be traveled to its destination whether it be good or bad.....just be very cautious and whatever you do....do not give him money or let him know about your monetary assets. Wishing you the best. :)
Thank you, he’s the first foreign man I’ve spoke to on social media. I don’t know why I answered his hello message. I will be extremely cautious and any hints of a family member becoming ill or Financial troubles he will be blocked.
 

Justme24

Major Ratslayer
Just be careful we are not criticizing yours we just know how we have ended up, so yes be careful we are here to help and share our experiences that we thought to be genuine at least for a moment❤️
I really appreciate it, and I’m starting to feel like he isn’t the real deal, but at the same time not ready to say goodbye. Is that bad? I’m not in love with him I just enjoy his company, he doesn’t do the love bombing that I’ve read can happen, he is really shy but then I remember he is only 21 but then on the other hand our chats are really deep. I’m so conflicted.
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Thank you, he’s the first foreign man I’ve spoke to on social media. I don’t know why I answered his hello message. I will be extremely cautious and any hints of a family member becoming ill or Financial troubles he will be blocked.
Very wise to be ultra cautious....he may also go the military route.....to ask you for money to help him get an early release from the military so that you and he can start your lives together. I cannot apologize to you, I have a bad feeling about this. I hope I am wrong and only find comfort in the fact that TLR is here for you. Falling for these Tunisian men is totally different than falling for men from your own country.....primarily because the culture is very difficult to understand and then you have religion thrown in there along with the love bombing. These men are experts at painting a beautiful picture of love, acceptance and happiness. The majority of the time it's 100 % fake and they are just drawing you into their illusion. I personally would have told a "home" grown boy from my country to take a hike if he had come on to me like these rodents do. Right now you are in the beginning stages and I know you want to believe him with all of your heart....but most importantly you must protect your own.....ask the hard questions, do your research, talk to women who live in Tunisia and always always listen to your gut. ♡
Thank you Aisha, your post has really made me question if he is genuine. I suppose my gut is telling me to run as I wouldn’t of looked on the internet for this website. He has already lied to me and confessed his lie about 6 weeks into talking to me. He told me he was at university still studying then he admitted he was in the army. He only joined the army 6 months ago he dropped out of uni. I didn’t understand the lie but now this makes sense. As for your weddings they are amazing he has sent me videos of how extravagant they are. Ive not said I love him because I don’t, I enjoy talking to him. Maybe I should go before I do fall for him.
Please yes.....I have a really bad feeling about this relationship....
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Thank you Aisha, your post has really made me question if he is genuine. I suppose my gut is telling me to run as I wouldn’t of looked on the internet for this website. He has already lied to me and confessed his lie about 6 weeks into talking to me. He told me he was at university still studying then he admitted he was in the army. He only joined the army 6 months ago he dropped out of uni. I didn’t understand the lie but now this makes sense. As for your weddings they are amazing he has sent me videos of how extravagant they are. Ive not said I love him because I don’t, I enjoy talking to him. Maybe I should go before I do fall for him.
Wise because you won’t realize it until you are in love with him how hard it is to leave and 1 lie already? Not good at all they lie all the time!!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I really appreciate it, and I’m starting to feel like he isn’t the real deal, but at the same time not ready to say goodbye. Is that bad? I’m not in love with him I just enjoy his company, he doesn’t do the love bombing that I’ve read can happen, he is really shy but then I remember he is only 21 but then on the other hand our chats are really deep. I’m so conflicted.
It’s not bad but at the same time it’s going to get harder because you obviously have some kind of feelings or it would not be that hard to stop talking to him I say nip it as it is not going to get any easier this is said for your own good! They get you hooked
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Very wise to be ultra cautious....he may also go the military route.....to ask you for money to help him get an early release from the military so that you and he can start your lives together. I cannot apologize to you, I have a bad feeling about this. I hope I am wrong and only find comfort in the fact that TLR is here for you. Falling for these Tunisian men is totally different than falling for men from your own country.....primarily because the culture is very difficult to understand and then you have religion thrown in there along with the love bombing. These men are experts at painting a beautiful picture of love, acceptance and happiness. The majority of the time it's 100 % fake and they are just drawing you into their illusion. I personally would have told a "home" grown boy from my country to take a hike if he had come on to me like these rodents do. Right now you are in the beginning stages and I know you want to believe him with all of your heart....but most importantly you must protect your own.....ask the hard questions, do your research, talk to women who live in Tunisia and always always listen to your gut. ♡

Please yes.....I have a really bad feeling about this relationship....
Yes for sure bad that he has already admitted to 1 lie how many has he not admitted to as we all believed ours
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Yes he blocked me to protect himself as he can’t leave the army for 4 years and said it was unfair to expect me to wait for 4 years. Sorry he is Algerian not Tunisia.
Thank you Aisha, your post has really made me question if he is genuine. I suppose my gut is telling me to run as I wouldn’t of looked on the internet for this website. He has already lied to me and confessed his lie about 6 weeks into talking to me. He told me he was at university still studying then he admitted he was in the army. He only joined the army 6 months ago he dropped out of uni. I didn’t understand the lie but now this makes sense. As for your weddings they are amazing he has sent me videos of how extravagant they are. Ive not said I love him because I don’t, I enjoy talking to him. Maybe I should go before I do fall for him.
Hi @Justme24 the fact your online man is Algerian doesn't change anything as they fish for women online to. He admitted he lied to you and then told you he was in the army. Be careful if he lied to you for this what else is he lying about? The longer you will talk to him the more he can feed you lies and there is no way you can check he is telling the truth or not. We are a mixture of religion and countries on this forum, married or divorced /separated to a tunisian or living there so the ladies who live there in tunisia see what goes on with these rats who have multiple women who come visit the rats and destroy the life's of the women when it all failed. I am sorry but yours doesn't sound an honnest man, there are many tunisian men who go work in Algeria and algerian men come to tunisia to meet foreign women or to have some fun with women because tunisia is less strict in religion then Algeria.
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
I really appreciate it, and I’m starting to feel like he isn’t the real deal, but at the same time not ready to say goodbye. Is that bad? I’m not in love with him I just enjoy his company, he doesn’t do the love bombing that I’ve read can happen, he is really shy but then I remember he is only 21 but then on the other hand our chats are really deep. I’m so conflicted.
I can see how you’re finding it hard to pull away, they are very “attentive” in the beginning and love bomb you in a way that, let’s face it most European men don’t. In reality they are no better than any other man, probably worse, except they just know how to lay on the charm. Once they’ve got you where they want you will discover they’re no different from Bob down the street. A man is a man. It’s so easy to become addicted to the constant attention, but most times it’s fake. Most times they are copy pasting the exact same sentences and sending them to several other women... words are meaningless to them, and a fast way to gain access to what they want.
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Very wise to be ultra cautious....he may also go the military route.....to ask you for money to help him get an early release from the military so that you and he can start your lives together. I cannot apologize to you, I have a bad feeling about this. I hope I am wrong and only find comfort in the fact that TLR is here for you. Falling for these Tunisian men is totally different than falling for men from your own country.....primarily because the culture is very difficult to understand and then you have religion thrown in there along with the love bombing. These men are experts at painting a beautiful picture of love, acceptance and happiness. The majority of the time it's 100 % fake and they are just drawing you into their illusion. I personally would have told a "home" grown boy from my country to take a hike if he had come on to me like these rodents do. Right now you are in the beginning stages and I know you want to believe him with all of your heart....but most importantly you must protect your own.....ask the hard questions, do your research, talk to women who live in Tunisia and always always listen to your gut. ♡

Please yes.....I have a really bad feeling about this relationship....
He is algerian!
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I need to end it don’t I, that’s what I’m hearing. Why complicate my life. Thank you ladies for all your advice. I think deep down I knew but was ignoring it
I think it's the best way as you can never be sure if he is real or not. Read the story of @Nameless here he tricked her for several years and left her as soon as his papers where fixed and is now in here country. Most of these men are in it for a visa or money, gift or sex. It's hard and difficult to stay away from him, we know that but it's just a matter of time untill you are well and truly hooked to him.... So it's better to leave him now before you are in it to deep. Hugs xxx
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
I really appreciate it, and I’m starting to feel like he isn’t the real deal, but at the same time not ready to say goodbye. Is that bad? I’m not in love with him I just enjoy his company, he doesn’t do the love bombing that I’ve read can happen, he is really shy but then I remember he is only 21 but then on the other hand our chats are really deep. I’m so conflicted.
Dear please don’t go to Algeria, it’s very dangerous for you to go alone there not knowing the customs and especially the language. If you insist to see him find a way to meet in Tunisia at a resort on your terms. I don’t think anyone has asked, but what country are you from? He may have targeted you specifically depending on his desires to live another place. The age thing is not so bad, I know plenty of Tunisian women that date younger men, but without sounding rude… they are of a certain class if it makes sense. Honestly it’s hard to say, he could be true, but most are not, especially involving foreign non Muslim women. They have this idea they can deceive you and they will go unpunished because of who you are and where you are from. I’ll give you example, the man above me has American wife. When she is not here there is a Tunisian woman living there with him. They are so loud together that my husband had to have an embarrassing talk with him to be quiet…. Then when his wife is here only hear baby crying. But my point is this is so common, women think these guys are here waiting for them and dreaming of them only, it’s not true.
 
Top