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Long time online friend to lovers?

Florencia

Well-Known Member
Yes they do occasionally take their time, remember they always have someone on the backburner so it’s a tiered process lol.

Florencia, it’s really hard to say what his intentions are, but any kind of online relationship or even friendship is a gamble, so there is really no concrete way of knowing at this stage. I will say that with men you have to let their actions do the talking, and that it also depends on what you yourself are looking to come from this. A lot of the time we forget to ask ourselves what we ultimately want, and in practical terms whether we could be with someone from a different culture. Is he flexible? Is his family tolerant? These are all things you will need to eventually find out.

The red flags that I did see are not rat related.... the fact that (correct me if I’m wrong) he was talking to you while still in a relationship, and that he’s convinced you both have chemistry. There is no way to have chemistry before meeting in person, anyone can be whoever they wanna be online but in person it’s a lot harder. But, you are doing the right thing in laying down your boundaries. If you do take things further then I’d advise you to continue doing so. He will respect you a lot more for it.
Thank you :) well I am not sure since I want him to fix his life first and then I might think about it when he is actually in France. For now my own goal is to simply find out if we also have chemistry in real life. Also he said his family is not very strict but they are religious, he is quite flexible as far as I know. of course it could be an act... but then again I wonder, how far do I have to doubt things. Always hard in these situations :)
 

Aisha1

Ratslayer
Thank you :) well I am not sure since I want him to fix his life first and then I might think about it when he is actually in France. For now my own goal is to simply find out if we also have chemistry in real life. Also he said his family is not very strict but they are religious, he is quite flexible as far as I know. of course it could be an act... but then again I wonder, how far do I have to doubt things. Always hard in these situations :)
Don’t paint all Tunisian men with the same brush. My husband is Tunisian, however I’m Arab also... so the situation is something different. However many of my husband’s friends and cousins have foreign wives and they have legitimate loving relationships. Tunisia has its fair amount of rats, but also some really good men. Just never act around him in a manner that you say bad words, smoke, drink, dress provocative, speak loosely with other men in front of him. Arab men overall are jealous and watch every move their woman makes like a hawk. I suggest meet him first and then form your opinion, feel him out. Never give him something, unless you are married, help to your spouse is acceptable, but not to the point that you are the bread winner and the money is buying gifts for him. I live in Tunisia, I stay home and my husband works. If I want to go to shopping or beach during the day I do it, but I make sure house is spotless and dinner is ready at 3.... other then this he is laid back. The only thing I can see that makes me question your situation is that he is educated and possibly moving to a better country.... Tunisian women and their mothers would have already secured him 100 percent.
 

Florencia

Well-Known Member
Don’t paint all Tunisian men with the same brush. My husband is Tunisian, however I’m Arab also... so the situation is something different. However many of my husband’s friends and cousins have foreign wives and they have legitimate loving relationships. Tunisia has its fair amount of rats, but also some really good men. Just never act around him in a manner that you say bad words, smoke, drink, dress provocative, speak loosely with other men in front of him. Arab men overall are jealous and watch every move their woman makes like a hawk. I suggest meet him first and then form your opinion, feel him out. Never give him something, unless you are married, help to your spouse is acceptable, but not to the point that you are the bread winner and the money is buying gifts for him. I live in Tunisia, I stay home and my husband works. If I want to go to shopping or beach during the day I do it, but I make sure house is spotless and dinner is ready at 3.... other then this he is laid back. The only thing I can see that makes me question your situation is that he is educated and possibly moving to a better country.... Tunisian women and their mothers would have already secured him 100 percent.
Hello Aisha, thank you so so much for your reply. Very helpful.

could I please ask you how was the situation of your friends when they got to know their foreign partners? Were they educated and also had prospects of moving to France? They weren’t secured by Tunisian women or their mothers then, I assume. Sorry if it’s too personal

also he said his former girlfriend smoked.. I think also in front of him then.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Update: have checked every variation of his name through my friend’s account... he doesn’t seem to have any other profiles that I don’t know about. Also I can see content that friends of friends can’t see. I’m very glad
Florencia don't be deceived by it please. My rats other social media acounts weren't even close to his real name. As Aisha said if he has a good job and earns decent money the tunisian women ( and their mothers) would be fighting for him. But it's your choice if you feel the need to meet him and see if it works out. Don't forget rats can pretend for years they are genuine.
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Florencia don't be deceived by it please. My rats other social media acounts weren't even close to his real name. As Aisha said if he has a good job and earns decent money the tunisian women ( and their mothers) would be fighting for him. But it's your choice if you feel the need to meet him and see if it works out. Don't forget rats can pretend for years they are genuine.
As I have said here before, my rat had at least 5 facebooks in different names, he was also on LinkedIn chatting up foreign women and he was on vk faces a Russian Facebook!
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
As I have said here before, my rat had at least 5 facebooks in different names, he was also on LinkedIn chatting up foreign women and he was on vk faces a Russian Facebook!
I know she wants it to be true and we don't know if he is but these rats are very good actors and they can hide it all for you. Yes I forgot about VK there are many tunisians on there, or the thousands of dating sites @Croydon girl, my rat was on Zoosk to. As we don't know his name we can't search for him so I hope she is careful in trusting him
 
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Florencia

Well-Known Member
I know she wants it to be true and we don't know if he is but these rats are very good actors and they can hide it all for you. Yes I forgot about VK there are many tunisians on there, or the thousands of dating sites @Croydon girl, my rat was on Zoosk to. As we don't know his name we can't search for him so I hope she is careful in trusting him
Yes I suppose you are all right... I am afraid when I read all this... I’m thinking of maybe just quitting it all, it’s wearing me out. Yes I am wary but want to believe him so much. That is dangerous maybe
 

Florencia

Well-Known Member
I know she wants it to be true and we don't know if he is but these rats are very good actors and they can hide it all for you. Yes I forgot about VK there are many tunisians on there, or the thousands of dating sites @Croydon girl, my rat was on Zoosk to. As we don't know his name we can't search for him so I hope she is careful in trusting him
If you would want to search for me , I would be thankful. You can pm me For the details if you should want to. Thank you
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Yes I suppose you are all right... I am afraid when I read all this... I’m thinking of maybe just quitting it all, it’s wearing me out. Yes I am wary but want to believe him so much. That is dangerous maybe
Wondering what put doubt in your mind to begin with? Tunisian? Anyway to my understanding it is the whole family going to France not only him. And yes it does wear you down they become very consuming every moment of your life whether it’s talking with them or wondering what they are up to when you’re not talking then over thinking and examining everything they say ughhhh exhausting.
 

Florencia

Well-Known Member
Wondering what put doubt in your mind to begin with? Tunisian? Anyway to my understanding it is the whole family going to France not only him. And yes it does wear you down they become very consuming every moment of your life whether it’s talking with them or wondering what they are up to when you’re not talking then over thinking and examining everything they say ughhhh exhausting.
Well yes just the fact he is Tunisian and love bombing, like Exact Ratbook-phrases
 

Aisha1

Ratslayer
Well yes just the fact he is Tunisian and love bombing, like Exact Ratbook-phrases
My opinion is you should just meet and feel him yourself. Your experience may be different from all these other stories. I know one guy married a Canadian and they been married some years, she is actually older. The other 2 married English, 1 guy moved there to England and is happy many years and other lives in Sousse ( his wife come often until he can leave with her, they have child) and he is our close friend, he’s faithful and not a rat. If you live in Tunisia and see some guys hanging around coffee shop all day you know immediately they rats, but there are good men as well. These rats I see in the city are just not attractive, women here don’t even want them. Also keep in mind if he is educated I’ve seen the circumstances that they just don’t desired a Tunisian woman, they want someone more open and worldly. Tunisia honestly is like most places, women are independent, yes they smoke.... it’s modern life. Some stories I read sound like these women are dealing with villagers... which most the hotel workers are by the way. Love bombing... Arab men are naturally passionate, especially with words... when they genuinely in love they do it.
 

Florencia

Well-Known Member
My opinion is you should just meet and feel him yourself. Your experience may be different from all these other stories. I know one guy married a Canadian and they been married some years, she is actually older. The other 2 married English, 1 guy moved there to England and is happy many years and other lives in Sousse ( his wife come often until he can leave with her, they have child) and he is our close friend, he’s faithful and not a rat. If you live in Tunisia and see some guys hanging around coffee shop all day you know immediately they rats, but there are good men as well. These rats I see in the city are just not attractive, women here don’t even want them. Also keep in mind if he is educated I’ve seen the circumstances that they just don’t desired a Tunisian woman, they want someone more open and worldly. Tunisia honestly is like most places, women are independent, yes they smoke.... it’s modern life. Some stories I read sound like these women are dealing with villagers... which most the hotel workers are by the way. Love bombing... Arab men are naturally passionate, especially with words... when they genuinely in love they do it.
Hi Aisha, thank you, so kind to tell me all this... yes he always said he wants a more worldly woman (we are equally educated et cetera, and share a lot of values).. good to know that is also a possibility. I am happy to read your vision on it as well
 

MarinaHi

Junior Rat Expert
I know she wants it to be true and we don't know if he is but these rats are very good actors and they can hide it all for you. Yes I forgot about VK there are many tunisians on there, or the thousands of dating sites @Croydon girl, my rat was on Zoosk to. As we don't know his name we can't search for him so I hope she is careful in trusting him
language.exchange most Tunisian man use it for meeting with women. I study English and men-rat offen write me.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Forget about what some hypocrites (from tunisia) write in this forum !
Good tunisian men would NEVER EVER date a westerner unless you are very very different from the ordinary women in Europe !
Moreover , French women have a horrible reputation in Tunisia !
As far as I know there are no hypocrites (from tunisia : your words?) here they give good advice and here at the forum are many nationalities not only French. And what do you exactly mean different then the ordinary women?
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
Forget about what some hypocrites (from tunisia) write in this forum !
Good tunisian men would NEVER EVER date a westerner unless you are very very different from the ordinary women in Europe !
Moreover , French women have a horrible reputation in Tunisia !
I welcome, and am interested in, your alternative perspective on the forum but can we please cancel this false dichotomy of good Tunisian woman vs. bad Western woman. You and I both know that North African women don’t have the best reputation throughout the Arab world, but to tar them all with one brush would be both ignorant and incredibly unfair.

Rats are not just scamming what you might call “loose women”, they do it to women that have never even been in a relationship prior to meeting them. They do it to women that were saving themselves for marriage. So IMO, what you’re saying holds no relevance to the topic.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Forget about what some hypocrites (from tunisia) write in this forum !
Good tunisian men would NEVER EVER date a westerner unless you are very very different from the ordinary women in Europe !
Moreover , French women have a horrible reputation in Tunisia !
Please explain what you mean.
I don’t disagree with your first statement. It’s true that in the past, there were Tunisian men who came and pretended to be good guys. They didn’t stay long because everyone figured they were as you said, hypocrites. Some good Tunisian men posted too. TunisianBuster would be one of them. His thread “Reasons why rats have no values!” was very informative and a real eye opener.

Now, when you say that “good Tunisian men would never marry a westerner unless she’s different from the ordinary women in Europe”, I have to wonder. Do you imply that good Tunisian men are too good for western women? This is a wrong statement. There are some good genuine Tunisian men who married “ordinary” European women. They make “ordinary” couples in happy and long-lasting marriages. I know some.

“French women have a horrible reputation in Tunisia”. And so do German, British, Italian etc.. women. Ironically, the people who judge harshly and talk bad about western women are also the ones who use them for money and visa. Jealous and greedy people. Their opinion is irrelevant because people who have this mentality are ignorant and mean idiots. Good intelligent people in Tunisia don’t think that way and have nothing against French, German, British, Italian etc.. women. They have no reason to hate them.

Perhaps you didn’t explain yourself well so you may want to clarify.
 
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Aisha1

Ratslayer
Forget about what some hypocrites (from tunisia) write in this forum !
Good tunisian men would NEVER EVER date a westerner unless you are very very different from the ordinary women in Europe !
Moreover , French women have a horrible reputation in Tunisia !
I agree and disagree. Don’t tell anyone bluntly forget what people say and don’t call people you don’t know hypocrites. Good Tunisian men not defined by anything you say, it’s all to do with individualism. I do think I agree that Tunisian men prefer someone open minded that could compromise on his culture and her culture. What is ordinary though? Also, no specific country has a bad reputation, I’ve never heard it or seen any indication of what you say. Again depends on person. Good and bad women come in all shapes , sizes, looks and countries. Please come to this forum and contribute friendly helpful advise and conversation, I’ll be honest you come off as rude.
 

Horn-Mad Rat

Well-Known Member
First of all, I want to thank the mods for lifting the ban on my beloved old account !
I agree and disagree. Don’t tell anyone bluntly forget what people say and don’t call people you don’t know hypocrites. Good Tunisian men not defined by anything you say, it’s all to do with individualism. I do think I agree that Tunisian men prefer someone open minded that could compromise on his culture and her culture. What is ordinary though? Also, no specific country has a bad reputation, I’ve never heard it or seen any indication of what you say. Again depends on person. Good and bad women come in all shapes , sizes, looks and countries. Please come to this forum and contribute friendly helpful advise and conversation, I’ll be honest you come off as rude.
Who exactly are you to disagree ? Are you Tunisian yourself ? How old are you? How long have you been living in Tunisia ? Where have you been living in Tunisia ? A couple of questions I should raise before answering the nonsense you wrote .

Don’t tell anyone bluntly forget what people say and don’t call people you don’t know hypocrites.
I know what I am talking about. Not only I am a tunisian living in the country for 3 decades , I am an old member here as well. I know the types of tunisians who tend to sign up to this forum . In 2019, I was about to post a thread about this topic . Unfortunately , my account was banned the same morning , after a continuous war with Mango Chutney and her brigade .
Good Tunisian men not defined by anything you say, it’s all to do with individualism. I do think I agree that Tunisian men prefer someone open minded that could compromise on his culture and her culture.
I insist that good Tunisian men would never be involved in relationships with westerners (btw I am not sure about your definition of "a good tunisian man"). I have NEVER heard/met/talked to a tunisian who belongs to a respectable family , not poor , religious/conservative , educated , polite ,has ethics and is interested in western women at the same time . Most of us do not believe in relationships with them (dont expect tunisians who sign up to this kind of forums to tell you something like that for the reasons I will mention later)
Hell! even the people who are not religious at all, do not usually believe in such relationships! In addition, I know many "good tunisians" who live abroad ( France, Italy, Canada ,Germany ect) , NOT A SINGLE ONE of them married a westerner ! Believe it or not ! At most they intermarry with other arabs/muslims living in the same region.
Conversely, if it is all to do with "individualism" like you mentioned in your post, how come the thousands of tunisian doctors , engineers , IT specialists living in europe rarely marry europeans ???

The only tunisians I know, who get involved in such relationships are the poorest ones (usually they come from ghettos and rural areas. Most of whom, work in tourism industry and seldom are illegal immigrants ) . Usually they are ugliest , unethical , opportunist and are ready to do anything to change their socioeconomic situation ! Just take a look at the gallery section, I dont want to sound like superficial and mean person, but telling from rats pics, most of them look like chavs . They belong to the bottom of the social ladder and they dont have any chance with the local females !


What is ordinary though?
Please refer to an old post I wrote two years ago https://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/im-dying.4981/page-13#post-314148

Again depends on person. Good and bad women come in all shapes , sizes, looks and countries.
This is too diplomatic and politically correct statement to make ! I wont bother replying !

I’ll be honest you come off as rude.
I may be a rude person .. but at least I am HONEST!
 
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MH007

Administrator
Staff member
First of all, I want to thank the mods for lifting the ban on my beloved old account !

Who exactly are you to disagree ? Are you Tunisian yourself ? How old are you? How long have you been living in Tunisia ? Where have you been living in Tunisia ? A couple of questions I should raise before answering the nonsense you wrote .


I know what I am talking about. Not only I am a tunisian living in the country for 3 decades , I am an old member here as well. I know the types of tunisians who tend to sign up to this forum . In 2019, I was about to post a thread about this topic . Unfortunately , my account was banned the same morning , after a continuous war with Mango Chutney and her brigade .

I insist that good Tunisian men would never be involved in relationships with westerners (btw I am not sure about your definition of "a good tunisian man"). I have NEVER heard/met/talked to a tunisian who belongs to a respectable family , not poor , religious/conservative , educated , polite ,has ethics and is interested in western women at the same time . Most of us do not believe in relationships with them (dont expect tunisians who sign up to this kind of forums to tell you something like that for the reasons I will mention later)
Hell! even the people who are not religious at all, do not usually believe in such relationships! In addition, I know many "good tunisians" who live abroad ( France, Italy, Canada ,Germany ect) , NOT A SINGLE ONE of them married a westerner ! Believe it or not ! At most they intermarry with other arabs/muslims living in the same region.
Conversely, if it is all to do with "individualism" like you mentioned in your post, how come the thousands of tunisian doctors , engineers , IT specialists living in europe rarely marry europeans ???

The only tunisians I know, who get involved in such relationships are the poorest ones (usually they come from ghettos and rural areas. Most of whom, work in tourism industry and seldom are illegal immigrants ) . Usually they are ugliest , unethical , opportunist and are ready to do anything to change their socioeconomic situation ! Just take a look at the gallery section, I dont want to sound like superficial and mean person, but telling from rats pics, most of them look like chavs . They belong to the bottom of the social ladder and they dont have any chance with the local females !


Please refer to an old post I wrote two years ago https://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/im-dying.4981/page-13#post-314148


This is too diplomatic and politically correct statement to make ! I wont bother replying !


I may be a rude person .. but at least I am HONEST!
Aisha does NOT need to justify herself so you can forget that so wind your neck in and prove that you deserved to be reinstated.

Rudeness will not be tolerated however ADULT debate and opinions are encouraged.

MH x
 

Jane

Major Ratslayer
First of all, I want to thank the mods for lifting the ban on my beloved old account !

Who exactly are you to disagree ? Are you Tunisian yourself ? How old are you? How long have you been living in Tunisia ? Where have you been living in Tunisia ? A couple of questions I should raise before answering the nonsense you wrote .


I know what I am talking about. Not only I am a tunisian living in the country for 3 decades , I am an old member here as well. I know the types of tunisians who tend to sign up to this forum . In 2019, I was about to post a thread about this topic . Unfortunately , my account was banned the same morning , after a continuous war with Mango Chutney and her brigade .

I insist that good Tunisian men would never be involved in relationships with westerners (btw I am not sure about your definition of "a good tunisian man"). I have NEVER heard/met/talked to a tunisian who belongs to a respectable family , not poor , religious/conservative , educated , polite ,has ethics and is interested in western women at the same time . Most of us do not believe in relationships with them (dont expect tunisians who sign up to this kind of forums to tell you something like that for the reasons I will mention later)
Hell! even the people who are not religious at all, do not usually believe in such relationships! In addition, I know many "good tunisians" who live abroad ( France, Italy, Canada ,Germany ect) , NOT A SINGLE ONE of them married a westerner ! Believe it or not ! At most they intermarry with other arabs/muslims living in the same region.
Conversely, if it is all to do with "individualism" like you mentioned in your post, how come the thousands of tunisian doctors , engineers , IT specialists living in europe rarely marry europeans ???

The only tunisians I know, who get involved in such relationships are the poorest ones (usually they come from ghettos and rural areas. Most of whom, work in tourism industry and seldom are illegal immigrants ) . Usually they are ugliest , unethical , opportunist and are ready to do anything to change their socioeconomic situation ! Just take a look at the gallery section, I dont want to sound like superficial and mean person, but telling from rats pics, most of them look like chavs . They belong to the bottom of the social ladder and they dont have any chance with the local females !


Please refer to an old post I wrote two years ago https://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/im-dying.4981/page-13#post-314148


This is too diplomatic and politically correct statement to make ! I wont bother replying !


I may be a rude person .. but at least I am HONEST!

Fascinating post - As it does lay open the mind of how probably a lot of Tunisians think, offensive though it sounds
I do agree that the majority of the men in this gallery are hideous looking .
However I have a question, Horn Mad Rat... do you really think it’s “politically correct” to state that not all European women are the same ?
 
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