Opinions please

[Butterflies]

Ah I tried that the other day but nothing happened, it didnt go to the search page. Just managed to do it and no not a thing on there either

All the rats are not mentioned here as there are many women who are scared to name their rat. It really is hard to know yours is real or not. Ask a trusted friend to do a search for him on social media to see if he has other acounts. But it's true what we all are trying to tell you. He fished you on the internet and that is always a bad sign

 

[pcz0202k]

The bike problem was more than likely a hint. They speak about their problems to test the water to see if you will offer cash to help them out. To begin with they may refuse the cash that is offered so as to appear genuine, but they then know that the cash will be there in the future when something else needs "fixing"

You are exactly right.

 

[Sabrina]

Hello my husband behaved the same way in the beginning and literally and then it started and most of all after the wedding there started the biggest problems money money and then swearing and psychological terror I also thought that he is not like that but I was wrong.

They totally will hide their true intentions until the hooks are in and the relationship is in the marriage status. Then maybe not til a little later but it comes out eventually! Then for us women it’s too late

Hello my husband behaved the same way in the beginning and literally and then it started and most of all after the wedding there started the biggest problems money money and then swearing and psychological terror I also thought that he is not like that but I was wrong.

 

[SouthernGirl]

Another sign is he worked in hotels before. Not good. Not all rats have worked in hotels, but 99% of young tunisians who work or have worked in hotels are rats. They are mostly animators or servers. They flirt shamelessly with foreign tourists and start fake romances from there. The women are bombarded with love declarations when they get home. It’d be interesting to know in what hotels he worked then you can google them and see the complaints from patrons. Not a proof yours is a rat but it’ll give an idea about young hotel workers in Tunisia are about.

 

[pcz0202k]

I was told to take a look at this site by a friend. I dont have any doubts at all (I havent had any negative signs)but after reading on here it makes me worry, I'm a worrier at heart so reading negative stories makes me worry even more even when I have not yet experienced anything negative.
I have been talking to a guy online for the past 8 months, we have 3 years difference in age, him being older. He seems very traditional and respectful, he has never asked for money or pictures but sends me pictures of what he is doing, Also video calls me when he is out (providing he has internet)and shows me what he is doing. He has gave me his password to access his social media and has told me I can do so whenever I wish ( I have said I will not do this and have not done so)We have talked about me visiting but he has not put any pressure on me to visit until I am ready too.
I'm just curious on what people opinions are of this guy with the information I have provided. I feel he is genuine and i do trust him by what i know of him from talking but obviously you can never fully trust someone until you meet them so I'm curious as to what other people think by what I have said.

Be careful all the women we're in here we went through that hell I watched all the forums here and I long ago thought I had the same problem as the other women here my husband finished me so mentally that I registered here and started writing my story with other women and they really supported me and I thank them I don't cry as much as before. Please be careful.

 

[Sabrina]

Y

Hi, yes he is tunisian. He is currently planting and looking after the familys olive trees. Apparently when younger he worked in a few hotels (one being a relatives, if I remember right) but he hated that work. He then had a shop but due to circumstances closed. I've tried to search about other possible accounts but have not found any (he assures me he just has one facebook account). As for visiting he has spoken about who would pay and said if I visit this year he wouldnt be able to pay but next year and any other years after he would be able to

Hi, yes he is tunisian. He is currently planting and looking after the familys olive trees. Apparently when younger he worked in a few hotels (one being a relatives, if I remember right) but he hated that work. He then had a shop but due to circumstances closed. I've tried to search about other possible accounts but have not found any (he assures me he just has one facebook account). As for visiting he has spoken about who would pay and said if I visit this year he wouldnt be able to pay but next year and any other years after he would be able to

Yes seems they have olive trees or date trees they have to tend to. A lot work in hotels as there are not a lot of jobs available especially now! As far as going over wait and let him pay, most of us ladies here paid for everything!!! Which I’ve heard on here that’s what a decent Tunisian man does, pays for your trip with some exceptions of course your spending money I guess

 

[Annie-May]

All the rats are not mentioned here as there are many women who are scared to name their rat. It really is hard to know yours is real or not. Ask a trusted friend to do a search for him on social media to see if he has other acounts. But it's true what we all are trying to tell you. He fished you on the internet and that is always a bad sign

I've searched using a family members account and only one account came up in his name which is the one I am on

 

[Butterflies]

They use other names for their fake acounts. My rat had lots of other acounts all with different spelling of his real name. Just be careful don't let this give you a fake sense of security. Take your time see where it goes don't rush to fast into this relation. See what he does or what he says. Keep your eyes and ears open and your wallet closed.

 

[SouthernGirl]

I've searched using a family members account and only one account came up in his name which is the one I am on

They know how to hide well. They use different variations of their names (it’s easy with Arabic names) or nicknames or use accents and signs such à, ë, ô etc They can also write their names in Arabic or I’ve seen it too, in Russian.

I know you want to believe he’s a good person and you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I’m sorry, he doesn’t look good. The working before in hotels, the giving his password and showing messages of other people (isn’t it a bit much? Why this need of proving you he’s honest?) the mentioning his broken bike and him having to walk, all that shows who you’re dealing with. Only one of this sign would be suspicious enough, but all of them together, forget it. I would not trust him. Please be careful, Annie-May.

 

[Annie-May]

Another sign is he worked in hotels before. Not good. Not all rats have worked in hotels, but 99% of young tunisians who work or have worked in hotels are rats. They are mostly animators or servers. They flirt shamelessly with foreign tourists and start fake romances from there. The women are bombarded with love declarations when they get home. It’d be interesting to know in what hotels he worked then you can google them and see the complaints from patrons. Not a proof yours is a rat but it’ll give an idea about young hotel workers in Tunisia are about.

From what I can gather he didnt work in hotels for long, and that was about 10 years ago. We never really spoke much about that but it's something I will start a conversation about when we next talk

 

[Annie-May]

They use other names for their fake acounts. My rat had lots of other acounts all with different spelling of his real name. Just be careful don't let this give you a fake sense of security. Take your time see where it goes don't rush to fast into this relation. See what he does or what he says. Keep your eyes and ears open and your wallet closed.

I'm not rushing into anything, never have done so wont start now. I believe what will be will be and that everything happens at the time it's supposed too so I'm just taking each day as it comes. No money will ever be sent,I made that very clear and I stick to what I say.

 

[SouthernGirl]

I'm not rushing into anything, never have done so wont start now. I believe what will be will be and that everything happens at the time it's supposed too so I'm just taking each day as it comes. No money will ever be sent,I made that very clear and I stick to what I say.

Yes! No money nor pictures that you wouldn’t want your family or your friends to see!

 

[Sabrina]

From what I can gather he didnt work in hotels for long, and that was about 10 years ago. We never really spoke much about that but it's something I will start a conversation about when we next talk

Usually they are young around 23 cute and at their prime who really knows what happened this is where a lot of them find their love victims, I met mine on line like you

 

[Mica]

I've searched using a family members account and only one account came up in his name which is the one I am on

They usually use different names or spell them slightly differently.
Try some variations of his name or a reverse photo search using some of the photos from his facebook

 

[shygurl72]

Annie-May, I wish you luck if you continue the relationship..... but why would he look for a woman online? Plenty of beautiful women in Tunisia ..... most Arab men don't want to stray from what they know unless they are looking for a way out of a bad situation.... my useless sack of shite..... he turned on the cam for me all the time.... I stayed online whilst he worked.... made me feel like I was the only one... check the dating websites..... I was sick with Covid and the dog was online looking for someone else to scam....took my money with no shame when he knew I was struggling.... glad to be rid of the SOB...

 

[Myriam1]

Annie-May, the fact that you don't feel ok investigating his FB sums it all up: you are a decent human being, an empath, honest...meaning you are the ideal victim for a rat, all rats are narcissists and they use your qualities against yourself, never forget that!
A tunisian man of 33....mmmm....at that age most of them (about 99%) are married already! Why didn't he find a local wife, maybe he's not good marrying material according to local standards.

 

[wild angel]

I was told to take a look at this site by a friend. I dont have any doubts at all (I havent had any negative signs)but after reading on here it makes me worry, I'm a worrier at heart so reading negative stories makes me worry even more even when I have not yet experienced anything negative.
I have been talking to a guy online for the past 8 months, we have 3 years difference in age, him being older. He seems very traditional and respectful, he has never asked for money or pictures but sends me pictures of what he is doing, Also video calls me when he is out (providing he has internet)and shows me what he is doing. He has gave me his password to access his social media and has told me I can do so whenever I wish ( I have said I will not do this and have not done so)We have talked about me visiting but he has not put any pressure on me to visit until I am ready too.
I'm just curious on what people opinions are of this guy with the information I have provided. I feel he is genuine and i do trust him by what i know of him from talking but obviously you can never fully trust someone until you meet them so I'm curious as to what other people think by what I have said.

Hi Annie-May!My rat didn’t ask for anything for 5 months while we were talking, but when I bought tickets and booked a hotel, he started talking about some gifts for himself. He told me not to buy expensive gifts for him, but he was always interested in the price of his gifts. So if you have been talking for 8 months and he hasn’t asked for anything yet, he will soon ask. You are already on his hook, he builds intrigues, now he thinks over his every step. be careful and take care of yourself.

 

[wild angel]

Anni-MaY, if you are planning to meet in the near future, tell him right away that you may not be able to come to Tunisia, you are very sad because you only have money for tickets, as you have some financial problems, and you will not be able to pay for your hotel stay. If he's as good as you say, let the dirty gigolo pay.

 

[Annie-May]

Anni-MaY, if you are planning to meet in the near future, tell him right away that you may not be able to come to Tunisia, you are very sad because you only have money for tickets, as you have some financial problems, and you will not be able to pay for your hotel stay. If he's as good as you say, let the dirty gigolo pay.

I've already said I dont have the money right now to travel and to pay what I need to pay every month here, which is currently true

 

[Butterflies]

I've already said I dont have the money right now to travel and to pay what I need to pay every month here, which is currently true

Have you asked why he is not married yet as mentioned by the other ladies he is 33 and by then most of them are already married

 

[Annie-May]

Have you asked why he is not married yet as mentioned by the other ladies he is 33 and by then most of them are already married

I've never asked, although he did say before if he wasnt married by a certain age he would never think to get married. I should have used that as a cue to ask why he isnt, but I think i was a bit shy too at the time, i didnt want to come across as nosey i guess.I get the impression from conversations we have had that seeing most of his friends married now has made him think more about his life. I'll definitely bring this conversation up with him and see what he says

 

[confuseddotcom]

Hi Annie-May!My rat didn’t ask for anything for 5 months while we were talking, but when I bought tickets and booked a hotel, he started talking about some gifts for himself. He told me not to buy expensive gifts for him, but he was always interested in the price of his gifts. So if you have been talking for 8 months and he hasn’t asked for anything yet, he will soon ask. You are already on his hook, he builds intrigues, now he thinks over his every step. be careful and take care of yourself.

It’s such a turn off when they ask for gifts. Ugh. I think it’s at that moment you realise you’re not with a real man, and you lose all respect.

 

[SouthernGirl]

Anni-MaY, if you are planning to meet in the near future, tell him right away that you may not be able to come to Tunisia, you are very sad because you only have money for tickets, as you have some financial problems, and you will not be able to pay for your hotel stay. If he's as good as you say, let the dirty gigolo pay.

Right! As a true gentleman, he should pay. You are the one coming to see him. In a normal relationship, the man, most of the time, would offer to pay for the trip or at least to participate. Not only a rat doesn’t give one cent toward the trip and the hotel bills, but you have to bring gifts on top of that. Oh, how I detest their behavior. I can’t.
Please, Annie-May, don’t let him take you for a ride. It’s only the beginning and you’re not brainwashed yet. It’s still easy for you to be realistic and to see that you don’t owe him anything.

 

[Myriam1]

Annie-May, you are definitely a very sweet and polite person! You are so precautious when asking this man questions, tiptoeing around it seems... But this is a huge weakness by tunisian standards and will it make super easy to manipulate you!
Now think for yourself (don't have to tell us) what is your soft spot, what happened in your life that made you be this way, what is the weakness in your personal armour?
Because that's the way he will worm his way into your heart and your life...that's what rats do! Please think about it!

 

[SouthernGirl]

Annie-May, the fact that you don't feel ok investigating his FB sums it all up: you are a decent human being, an empath, honest...meaning you are the ideal victim for a rat, all rats are narcissists and they use your qualities against yourself, never forget that!
A tunisian man of 33....mmmm....at that age most of them (about 99%) are married already! Why didn't he find a local wife, maybe he's not good marrying material according to local standards.

Annie-May, the fact that you don't feel ok investigating his FB sums it all up: you are a decent human being, an empath, honest...meaning you are the ideal victim for a rat, all rats are narcissists and they use your qualities against yourself, never forget that!
A tunisian man of 33....mmmm....at that age most of them (about 99%) are married already! Why didn't he find a local wife, maybe he's not good marrying material according to local standards.

@Myriam1, so nice to read your posts! How have you been doing? Your posts are always right on point. You know the culture very well so it’s even easier for you to read though their behaviors.

 

[Dangerous Beans]

reverse photo search using some of the photos from his facebook

That's a brilliant idea
Be sure to do this Annie-May, I'd never have thought of that lol
Why is he so eager to appear genuine? If he's as sweetly innocent as he seems, the thought would never have occured to him. After all, you would not have asked him for the password either, and I think he knows this

 

[MH007]

That's a brilliant idea
Be sure to do this Annie-May, I'd never have thought of that lol
Why is he so eager to appear genuine? If he's as sweetly innocent as he seems, the thought would never have occured to him. After all, you would not have asked him for the password either, and I think he knows this

Another thing that @Butterflies suggested is to checked his blocked list (if you go on his FB) I had never even thought of that but it’s a great tip.

MH x

 

[Annie-May]

Annie-May, you are definitely a very sweet and polite person! You are so precautious when asking this man questions, tiptoeing around it seems... But this is a huge weakness by tunisian standards and will it make super easy to manipulate you!
Now think for yourself (don't have to tell us) what is your soft spot, what happened in your life that made you be this way, what is the weakness in your personal armour?
Because that's the way he will worm his way into your heart and your life...that's what rats do! Please think about it!

He has said to me to feel free and ask anything I want and to be direct. I admit I'm not always good at being direct and straight to the point but will definitely try harder from now and see what happens

 

[Annie-May]

Another thing that @Butterflies suggested is to checked his blocked list (if you go on his FB) I had never even thought of that but it’s a great tip.

MH x

I reverse searched what I could with no results. Failed at accessing his account but that could be an error on my part so will try again and if successful will definitely check the block list. I felt awful even attempting but I know if he does turn out not to be genuine at least I wont have any regrets about checking or not

 

[tutusandfrogs]

First off where did you meet him? And he may or may not be a decent fella but let’s say that he is, do you know much about Tunisian culture? And would you be ready to adapt to it? What are your own hopes for the relationship... Marriage? Relocation? It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy and by the time we realise we’re not compatible it’s hard to let go cause we’re in too deep...

and this is so true. Even if he's not a rat,

Why does giving his password signify a red flag, a few have said this and I'm curious as to why. I know with an ex he was talking to her for 10 months through phone calls before meeting her in her city

Because who shares their password to something as personal as Facebook? Especially as just casual friends. You wouldn't give some guy you've been chatting with in your city, your password would you? I don't give my friends my password.. its just odd. This isn't any way to prove trust and why does he have to prove anything so early on when you're not even in a relationship. Just tread lightly...