Welcome to TLR

Opinions please

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
Just so you know... if you log in to hos account, he will be able to see you did. If you go to settings & privacy > settings > security and log in... it'll show you all the devices and places you're logged in. So, if you do login, remember to click on the 3 dots beside the device you logged in with (in the menu that I described above) to logout, unless you want him to know you're logged in.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I reverse searched what I could with no results. Failed at accessing his account but that could be an error on my part so will try again and if successful will definitely check the block list. I felt awful even attempting but I know if he does turn out not to be genuine at least I wont have any regrets about checking or not
You couldn’t access his account. Is it because he gave you a wrong password? Also, as Tutusandfrogs said, he’d know if you accessed his account or attempted to -on Facebook at least, not sure about other social media sites- Knowing that, he’ll make sure there is nothing suspicious on it.
You like him so you defend him and it’s understandable at this point in time. I hope you’ll still keep your eyes open and you’lllisten to your gut if it tells you that something about him is fishy even though you can’t put your finger on exactly what.

He doesn’t sound honest to us not only because he gave you his password (it’s ridiculous and quite telling) but for the rest too. Please inform yourself on young Hotel workers in Tunisia (what they do there at work, what they’re like) There are information and articles on the net about this topic and devastating stories. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t work in hotels for a long time and he was very young. Listen to your friend who advised you to come here. She must know more about the topic. She may feel something bad could very well happen and she’s worried about you.

I know everyone who responded you already told you, but I’ll say it too because it’s too big, and I hope you’ll see it as what it is: giving you his password is absolutely not something that someone who has nothing to hide would do! Even though he wants you to think the exact opposite. “I gave you my password to prove you I’m good.” :rolleyes: Who does that? He probably has other accounts and this account is the one where he’ll leave everything clean for you. This is deceptive and manipulative.
 
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Hayhud

Rat Expert
Y


Yes seems they have olive trees or date trees they have to tend to. A lot work in hotels as there are not a lot of jobs available especially now! As far as going over wait and let him pay, most of us ladies here paid for everything!!! Which I’ve heard on here that’s what a decent Tunisian man does, pays for your trip with some exceptions of course your spending money I guess
What in the heck are Olive trees and why do they watch them? Is, this a legit job?
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
What in the heck are Olive trees and why do they watch them? Is, this a legit job?
I know mine had date trees and had to go out and water them several hours out of the day, not every day of course, I’ve not heard of olive trees though
There are lots of olive trees in tunisia and many families have them. @Hayhud with olive trees they can produce olive oil or sell the olives. Each year they have to pick the olives and as far as I know family members help then
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
Hi @Annie-May welcome to the forum. I wasn't really going to comment on this post as I think you got enough answers from the other members already and I completely agree with them but I wanted to add one thing. I once seen my picture being sent out on messenger to some guy. The chat was in Arabish so I didn't have a clue what it said but I quickly took photos of it on my own phone. I asked what was said about me on another occasion and I got a perfect answer but I had a feeling that it wasn't right. After that I asked again and again and again and I was writing it all down and each time I asked I was given slightly different translation. That's when I decided to learn the language myself. Well, it took me about two years to understand what was said. All I can say is I was shocked, hurt and extremely upset. Be careful.
 

Myriam1

Major Ratslayer
Annie-May, the big mistake you make is judging this Tunisian by your own and european standards and this makes you an ideal victim. YOU don't want to look deeper into his FB, you're too polite and respectfull to do so...HE gave you his password and is now already making you feel guilty about accessing his FB, you understand? So he is already leading you out of your comfort zone...and making you do things you would never ever do by yourself!!! That's manipulation in its purest and basic form dear.
YOU know that your family wouldn't be happy with you visiting him (a total stranger, remember) and still you're thinking about doing so...HE doesn't care about what your family might think, he's only chasing his own benefits and any damage coming from this is none of his concern. He is manipulating you into a path that is not natural for you...
Put aside your old and to european standards correct ways of thinking and judging, they will only get you deeper into the rat trap! By any word from his side, please start thinking "what does he want to get from me for himself?"...because that's the only correct way of approaching him.
Better yet, don't approach him anymore, cut all ties with him because he's not true and presenting himself in a false image!
 

Annie-May

Rat Expert
I appreciate all the advice given and its definitely staying fresh in my mind, I am currently going to stay talking (maybe just reduce how much but not too much so its obvious)while I try and discover who he really is. I will be trying his account again - I'm positive if I keep trying and failing and he gets notified he will soon ask about it, but I'm 99% sure he only has one account and that alot of things he said is true but obviously that doesnt mean he is genuiene there could still be things he is hiding back from me. I just want a few days to be demanding and ask more question, see if theres something that doesnt fall into place. I'm not and will never rush into anything just like I wouldnt with a guy here
 

wild angel

Major Ratslayer
He has said to me to feel free and ask anything I want and to be direct. I admit I'm not always good at being direct and straight to the point but will definitely try harder from now and see what happens
I can tell you that from my personal experience, I would not ask him too many questions. because then he wanted to know more about you. unless of course .........but, you can talk about neutral topics, and never talk to yourself about your family. I also asked a lot of questions, and then he said that I know everything about him, but he knows nothing about me. and when I told him everything about myself it was already late, I was completely dependent on him. He lied to me all the time and I listened to his lies, I was happy. He blocked me several times, but money solved this problem and I was happy again.
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
My head is in the gutter today and maybe I wasn't clear in what I was trying to say. It wasn't really meant to be about me what I meant is maybe you could log on to his messenger and see if he is messaging with his pals and talking about you. Hopefully not obviously. Rats know it's not easy to translate Arabish so sometimes they use it against us. I'm not saying he is definitely a rat and hopefully he doesn't speak about you to his pals but just a thought as it happened to me. Of course I would advise same as all the ladies before me just to block him but I understand that you have some feelings for him and it is not easy to cut them off. Hugs to you x
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Annie-May, the big mistake you make is judging this Tunisian by your own and european standards and this makes you an ideal victim. YOU don't want to look deeper into his FB, you're too polite and respectfull to do so...HE gave you his password and is now already making you feel guilty about accessing his FB, you understand? So he is already leading you out of your comfort zone...and making you do things you would never ever do by yourself!!! That's manipulation in its purest and basic form dear.
YOU know that your family wouldn't be happy with you visiting him (a total stranger, remember) and still you're thinking about doing so...HE doesn't care about what your family might think, he's only chasing his own benefits and any damage coming from this is none of his concern. He is manipulating you into a path that is not natural for you...
Put aside your old and to european standards correct ways of thinking and judging, they will only get you deeper into the rat trap! By any word from his side, please start thinking "what does he want to get from me for himself?"...because that's the only correct way of approaching him.
Better yet, don't approach him anymore, cut all ties with him because he's not true and presenting himself in a false image!
Myriam1, that is exactly what I kept doing judging the rat by my standards. I was never given a password ever, ironic how his so-called ex had passwords to a few of his fake Facebook profiles to play so called games, like what a load of BS. Never had his personal email addresses like her neither, although after the sham marriage I found he had google earth satellite images of where I lived. So no bar is too low for the rats and I found that rather intrusive. When I got back to Canada last time he tried to hack into my email, of course I was warned that was an attempt to get in my email from Tunisia so I keep changing passwords every few months. So it is a job in itself to keep away from the rat, but for now I feel free because I have blocked all his attempts.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
but I'm 99% sure he only has one account
How can you be sure? I’m sorry but for me, it’s sad to see that you’re so trusting toward a perfect stranger. That makes you an easy target. Everyone here will tell you that in fact, it’s more than likely that he has multiple accounts. We can’t be that naive with them.
You can ask him tons of questions and he may answer them all but it doesn’t mean what he says will be true. When he asks you questions, as someone just said, don’t reveal too much about you, your family, your friends, your possessions etc Giving him more information about your life can be used against you and will make it easier for him to know how to trick you, what to use, what lies to say. They “customize” their scams according to the victim’s situation and what she has.
Please consider at least that he could be bad and take it easy with him. I’m afraid you’re way too nice, and that puts you in danger with men like him. He won’t appreciate your kindness and innocence, he’ll use your good qualities to his advantage and against you.
 
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yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Once you let the rats in, they will step up their game and if you cannot do as they want they say and do the worst things.
What I will never forget is when was looking after my sick relatives, I received a nasty Facebook message in 2018, " karma is a bi**h"
the message said. :Cry: :Cry: :Cry: :Cry:
Of course I know who she was, and I never deserved for my mother and brother to die :Cry::Cry::Cry:
Of course I broke up a few months after the sham marriage because it was unbearable.
He would say things like "Stop educating yourself, you have been studying since 2008" and "help me to be with you"
So how does the rat know all these things, I never knew him then, so he takes notes of my past.
AS if educating yourself is a bad thing.
I want to also take 3 more courses to get my credentials and I will do whatever I want.
SO NOBODY COULD TAKE THIS RAT GUARANTEED!
See they can't take rejection well, but they cause so much grief.
Not sure if I am off track on the discussion but I felt to let that out.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Once you let the rats in, they will step up their game and if you cannot do as they want they say and do the worst things.
What I will never forget is when was looking after my sick relatives, I received a nasty Facebook message in 2018, " karma is a bi**h"
the message said. :Cry: :Cry: :Cry: :Cry:
Of course I know who she was, and I never deserved for my mother and brother to die :Cry::Cry::Cry:
Of course I broke up a few months after the sham marriage because it was unbearable.
He would say things like "Stop educating yourself, you have been studying since 2008" and "help me to be with you"
So how does the rat know all these things, I never knew him then, so he takes notes of my past.
AS if educating yourself is a bad thing.
I want to also take 3 more courses to get my credentials and I will do whatever I want.
SO NOBODY COULD TAKE THIS RAT GUARANTEED!
See they can't take rejection well, but they cause so much grief.
Not sure if I am off track on the discussion but I felt to let that out.
No he just wanted you to spend all your effort’s and money on getting him over there when mine didn’t get the visa he was wanting me to do it over just whatever it takes and of course it’s always our fault
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
No he just wanted you to spend all your effort’s and money on getting him over there when mine didn’t get the visa he was wanting me to do it over just whatever it takes and of course it’s always our fault
There is no end to the rats demands, that is what made it unbearable!
It's always about what they want and its not possible to be all things to someone.
Anyways, we have boundaries and I refuse to be subjected to such cruelty.
 

Amira

Major Ratslayer
Hi @Annie-May welcome to the forum. I wasn't really going to comment on this post as I think you got enough answers from the other members already and I completely agree with them but I wanted to add one thing. I once seen my picture being sent out on messenger to some guy. The chat was in Arabish so I didn't have a clue what it said but I quickly took photos of it on my own phone. I asked what was said about me on another occasion and I got a perfect answer but I had a feeling that it wasn't right. After that I asked again and again and again and I was writing it all down and each time I asked I was given slightly different translation. That's when I decided to learn the language myself. Well, it took me about two years to understand what was said. All I can say is I was shocked, hurt and extremely upset. Be careful.
Unfortunately you are right when learning the language it is when they show their true I think I and it is important to listen to their gut feeling it does not lie even if you want to believe it. Another thing is that even though they like that they like us and our lifestyle, they are condescending to their own women who have chosen a different path than the traditional Tunisian woman. They talk nasty about Tunisian girls who for example drink alcohol have a boyfriend out of marriage but it is okay to marry women who are divorced single mothers etc as long as she is in from Europe. The whole country and culture smells.
 
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Poppy

Major Ratslayer
Hi, yes he is tunisian. He is currently planting and looking after the familys olive trees. Apparently when younger he worked in a few hotels (one being a relatives, if I remember right) but he hated that work. He then had a shop but due to circumstances closed. I've tried to search about other possible accounts but have not found any (he assures me he just has one facebook account). As for visiting he has spoken about who would pay and said if I visit this year he wouldnt be able to pay but next year and any other years after he would be able to

Welcome, Annie-May. Why giving you his password? You didn’t ask it for it. He’s telling you... see, I’m a good guy who has nothing to hide. Nobody does that. It’s deception. He has other accounts that you don’t know about.

If you look at this account, you won’t find anything suspicious. That’s why you have the password of this account, because there’s nothing.

Rats always have problems with their bike, or their phone when they don’t have a sick parent who needs to go to the hospital. They want money. Wait for him to ask you for money or to tell you about another problem, hoping you’ll offer to help. Don’t believe anything, don’t send anything, not even the smallest amount.
Yeah, i was thinking exactly along those lines. An honest person won't suggest you to have his password. Honest people don't have to prove that they are good and well intentioned. Only rats do that to gain your trust. They have multiple accounts everywhere, on dating websites too, with different names. You will never find out. Plus, you are probably blocked in his other accounts.
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Why does giving his password signify a red flag, a few have said this and I'm curious as to why. I know with an ex he was talking to her for 10 months through phone calls before meeting her in her city
Because he's suggesting that either you don't trust him or he can't be trusted so he needs to provide you with proof or.......he's trying to protest his innocence and trust to you on how he conducts his social media ( where he met you)!!!

Have you considered how much an absolute stroke of luck it must have been for Mr Trustworthy reaching out to one overseas lady , you, wow, he should be a psychic!
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Y


Yes seems they have olive trees or date trees they have to tend to. A lot work in hotels as there are not a lot of jobs available especially now! As far as going over wait and let him pay, most of us ladies here paid for everything!!! Which I’ve heard on here that’s what a decent Tunisian man does, pays for your trip with some exceptions of course your spending money I guess
A Tunisian I know has olive trees/ groves which formed part of his mothers dowry :thumbsup:
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
He will have second cousins if not first cousins, I can't divulge on here but trust me, it's real and arranged when they are young-ish
I must add Annie-May
If someone had given me all this to digest when I met mine I too would have defended him and the inference that he may be rat, TLR got me thinking and asking the right questions......his family who apparantly loved me have not been in touch once in over a year lololol
 
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