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Opinions please

Annie-May

Rat Expert
Yes, i agree Sabrina, in the UK and the US, we can do what we like! Imagine living in Tunisia, being told what you can and can't do! By some bloke and his family! I like to work and have my own money, wouldn't want to rely on some geezer to keep me!
I like to work too, if things did work between us I'd rather try and have him here first for this reason (not made this obvious to him) but if it wasnt successful then I'd have to be the one to move and I'd do that for someone I care about, I'm sure anyone would
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
Living I'm Tunisia would be tough coming from a western type of life. If he doesn't have a job, his odds of finding work that pays him well enough to support a wife and family is slim. There is a reason men live at home well into their 20s, 30s and beyond. Otherwise, men will live together with several roommates to be able to afford rent. And if they can't support themselves on their own, they will not have any chance with a Tunisian woman. My husband left to another country (again) so that he can financially support me... and it's a huge sacrifice for both of us. You can't send money out of Tunisia. As a foreigner, it'd be slim chances to find a job - if he would even allow you to work there. You would likely feel lonely and isolated.

If his goal is to leave Tunisia for a better life, then he will not ask for one penny.

Tunisian and Arab men have a preference for women to be chubby/curvy... that's why he mentioned he finds you skinny. Tell him you don't like skinny men too...and prefer muscles and that he start going to the gym.
 

Jane

Major Ratslayer
I like to work too, if things did work between us I'd rather try and have him here first for this reason (not made this obvious to him) but if it wasnt successful then I'd have to be the one to move and I'd do that for someone I care about, I'm sure anyone would
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Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Hi and welcome

Withoutmore details I can't really offer much opinion-wise.

I have never understood why Tunisians feel the need to constantly send photos/videos as proof of what they are doing. It's not normal behaviour of an innocent man.

Giving you his password isn't what I regard as normal behaviour of an innocent man either. If someone has nothing to hide why feel the need to prove it? Usually they give the password to one account but have other accounts on the go.

Maybe he is genuine, but most aren't. Have a good read on this site and then you will have more idea about what to look out for. Fishing for women online is not a good sign though. The goal is usually for a visa or money.
Hi @Peacock. I can totally relate to their constant need to send photos/videos of what they are doing...as if we don’t believe them. I also found it very strange. In the beginning mine would send me loads but slowly asked me to do the same (as if he didn’t believe I was doing whatever I was doing at any given time). If I saw him online he would send me screenshots of who he was talking to, especially on WhatsApp. I would just smile since you can archive messages and just as easily send a screenshot of only the people you want me to see...such as sister, brothers, mums and dads. No such luck to be offered password details so I can check his private messages etc. Mine had several accounts, none of which he told me about...but I have no doubt if mine had given me his password details it would have been to a made up account specifically for me to see his innocence and wholesomeness. As time went on he proved to be the exact opposite. I really hope the same thing isn’t happening here. xxx
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Yes I know of a fair few relationships between muslim and christians, people from turkey/tunisia etc and people from the uk. Some have failed and some have been such a success. I have thought about everything you have mentioned. A successful relationship is about trust,compromise and understanding and I'm willing to do that, and if he is too and is genuine then there is a chance things can work but still that chance it wouldnt
Hi @Annie-May

Are things still going well for you, are you okay?

MH x
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for your reply, dont get me wrong I have been tempted to access his social media to put my mind at ease but i feel bad in doing that. Should i look or not, what would you do?. He recommended staying in a hotel. As for searching for a future wife on the internet , I wouldnt say it is his full intentions as he did ask if I'd rather just be friends and that if I wanted to be he would be proud to have me as a friend. He says he finds it hard at his age now to meet girls
Hi @Annie-May Welcome to the forum. I have just been reading through your thread and your friend reminds me of how my rat was in the beginning. He had told me he had converted to Christianity but had to keep it a secret from his family. I do believe he pretended to convert since he met an American man who travelled to Tunisia with a team to preach the Gospel. I saw the pics of him being baptised but I believe his plan to get into America was already in motion before we met. He went on to use that man to be a sponsor so that he could visit the US....but already knew he had no plans to leave. He friended me on Facebook back in 2014. I don’t even remember friending him but in those days I didn’t think too much about friending strangers. Most of them, himself included, were friends of Christian FB friends of mine. In the beginning we hardly chatted and he would comment on my Christian posts occasionally. After about a year he commented more frequently. At that time I didn’t even know he was Tunisian and I certainly never knew about this site or about Tunisian Rats in general. I was completely clueless. When we first started chatting in private messages he would call me “sister” and I would call him “brother”...just as Christians do. He sent me a handwritten letter and everything was about “being so blessed to have met such a wonderful sister who loves Jesus and God’s Word”. He quoted lots of Scripture and sounded so angelic and pure. I can’t remember when our names transitioned from “brother & Sister” to “honey & sweetheart”. I only know that shortly thereafter he was talking about marriage, moving to the U.K. to spend “eternity” with me and accepting my children as his own and not caring about having actual children of his own. At the time I did not realise that was a big red flag. Initially he also said we could just remain friends...or “brother & sister in Christ” but that did not last very long. Once his seemingly undetectable lovebombing had started I soon discovered that being his sister in Christ was the last thing on his mind. Mine was truly the devil in disguise. They are masters of deception and, as many ladies have said on here, know how to play the waiting game. They are very patient indeed...at least in the beginning. Please don’t be fooled by the “I’m happy for us to just be friends” line. It is all part of the same script Rats use on their victims. I really pray your friend is not a rat but if I was you I would read up as much as I could on here. If only I had found this site when I was still in contact with my rat then perhaps my eyes would have been opened before I started thinking with my heart instead of my head. Wishing you all the best and hope your story had a happier ending than most of ours did. xx
 

Annie-May

Rat Expert
Hi @Annie-May Welcome to the forum. I have just been reading through your thread and your friend reminds me of how my rat was in the beginning. He had told me he had converted to Christianity but had to keep it a secret from his family. I do believe he pretended to convert since he met an American man who travelled to Tunisia with a team to preach the Gospel. I saw the pics of him being baptised but I believe his plan to get into America was already in motion before we met. He went on to use that man to be a sponsor so that he could visit the US....but already knew he had no plans to leave. He friended me on Facebook back in 2014. I don’t even remember friending him but in those days I didn’t think too much about friending strangers. Most of them, himself included, were friends of Christian FB friends of mine. In the beginning we hardly chatted and he would comment on my Christian posts occasionally. After about a year he commented more frequently. At that time I didn’t even know he was Tunisian and I certainly never knew about this site or about Tunisian Rats in general. I was completely clueless. When we first started chatting in private messages he would call me “sister” and I would call him “brother”...just as Christians do. He sent me a handwritten letter and everything was about “being so blessed to have met such a wonderful sister who loves Jesus and God’s Word”. He quoted lots of Scripture and sounded so angelic and pure. I can’t remember when our names transitioned from “brother & Sister” to “honey & sweetheart”. I only know that shortly thereafter he was talking about marriage, moving to the U.K. to spend “eternity” with me and accepting my children as his own and not caring about having actual children of his own. At the time I did not realise that was a big red flag. Initially he also said we could just remain friends...or “brother & sister in Christ” but that did not last very long. Once his seemingly undetectable lovebombing had started I soon discovered that being his sister in Christ was the last thing on his mind. Mine was truly the devil in disguise. They are masters of deception and, as many ladies have said on here, know how to play the waiting game. They are very patient indeed...at least in the beginning. Please don’t be fooled by the “I’m happy for us to just be friends” line. It is all part of the same script Rats use on their victims. I really pray your friend is not a rat but if I was you I would read up as much as I could on here. If only I had found this site when I was still in contact with my rat then perhaps my eyes would have been opened before I started thinking with my heart instead of my head. Wishing you all the best and hope your story had a happier ending than most of ours did. xx
I have read alot from here and I've taken on board everything that has been said. I dont have much to lose and havent been treated badly at all so I'm just going to continue and see where it leads, only time can show his true intentions and what will be will be
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
Hi @Annie-May Welcome to the forum. I have just been reading through your thread and your friend reminds me of how my rat was in the beginning. He had told me he had converted to Christianity but had to keep it a secret from his family. I do believe he pretended to convert since he met an American man who travelled to Tunisia with a team to preach the Gospel. I saw the pics of him being baptised but I believe his plan to get into America was already in motion before we met. He went on to use that man to be a sponsor so that he could visit the US....but already knew he had no plans to leave. He friended me on Facebook back in 2014. I don’t even remember friending him but in those days I didn’t think too much about friending strangers. Most of them, himself included, were friends of Christian FB friends of mine. In the beginning we hardly chatted and he would comment on my Christian posts occasionally. After about a year he commented more frequently. At that time I didn’t even know he was Tunisian and I certainly never knew about this site or about Tunisian Rats in general. I was completely clueless. When we first started chatting in private messages he would call me “sister” and I would call him “brother”...just as Christians do. He sent me a handwritten letter and everything was about “being so blessed to have met such a wonderful sister who loves Jesus and God’s Word”. He quoted lots of Scripture and sounded so angelic and pure. I can’t remember when our names transitioned from “brother & Sister” to “honey & sweetheart”. I only know that shortly thereafter he was talking about marriage, moving to the U.K. to spend “eternity” with me and accepting my children as his own and not caring about having actual children of his own. At the time I did not realise that was a big red flag. Initially he also said we could just remain friends...or “brother & sister in Christ” but that did not last very long. Once his seemingly undetectable lovebombing had started I soon discovered that being his sister in Christ was the last thing on his mind. Mine was truly the devil in disguise. They are masters of deception and, as many ladies have said on here, know how to play the waiting game. They are very patient indeed...at least in the beginning. Please don’t be fooled by the “I’m happy for us to just be friends” line. It is all part of the same script Rats use on their victims. I really pray your friend is not a rat but if I was you I would read up as much as I could on here. If only I had found this site when I was still in contact with my rat then perhaps my eyes would have been opened before I started thinking with my heart instead of my head. Wishing you all the best and hope your story had a happier ending than most of ours did. xx
Wow, your rat certainly changed a lot from the wonderful so called Christian he pretended be to be in the beginning!!
 
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