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Please help me I am new to this

Ada2976

Member
So a little background information about me I am a single mum of two children was in a relationship for 12 years and that broke down and have been single for 4 years…. Came to Tunisia at the beginning of the year and had the hots for an Animator…. I thought he was amazing…. Good looks, polite, kind, great with people/kids… great entertainer and very fun to be with….. we went on quite a few dates in the duration I was there….. and when came back to England we spoke every single day, text/phone/video….. I just cannot work out if he is genuine! Because I have now come back to Tunisia “alone” to be with this man and out of the 7 days I was there last week he hardly made time for me!!! Because of WORK!! He is only 3 years younger than me so is not a huge age gap…. I know I am a fool and do wear my heart on my sleeve but that’s because I am kind and don’t know what faults to look for and this is all very new to me… He has never asked me for money or anything like that…. He just wants to see and be with me but work has really buggered up the plans we did have…. Or was this the plan all along to not actually be with me…. I feel a little violated as we had sexual intercourse the second day I came and he went straight to work afterwards and also the following day maybe I am just being silly but can anyone help me …. I don’t want to invest in someone if the feeling is not mutual (even though he says it is)

I fancy the pants of him and have never met/seen someone this “perfect”…. He has great family morals and speaks very highly about family/friends…. Is this just an animators life? Can a relationship actually work? Or am I just wasting time…. He has said sorry profusely in regards to having to go to work…. And told me it’s best to come once the season has died down and he has more spare time but I also have a life to live and cannot waste time, I have my job and my kids to take into consideration I cannot just drop everything and go visit when I want….. I just cannot wonder have I been sucked in and he has other females on the go? Have I fell for a rat? I have no right to really get angry etc as technically we both are single…. I just don’t want to invest if he is only after the one thing…. I just don’t know what to do/think ‍♀️
 

Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
So a little background information about me I am a single mum of two children was in a relationship for 12 years and that broke down and have been single for 4 years…. Came to Tunisia at the beginning of the year and had the hots for an Animator…. I thought he was amazing…. Good looks, polite, kind, great with people/kids… great entertainer and very fun to be with….. we went on quite a few dates in the duration I was there….. and when came back to England we spoke every single day, text/phone/video….. I just cannot work out if he is genuine! Because I have now come back to Tunisia “alone” to be with this man and out of the 7 days I was there last week he hardly made time for me!!! Because of WORK!! He is only 3 years younger than me so is not a huge age gap…. I know I am a fool and do wear my heart on my sleeve but that’s because I am kind and don’t know what faults to look for and this is all very new to me… He has never asked me for money or anything like that…. He just wants to see and be with me but work has really buggered up the plans we did have…. Or was this the plan all along to not actually be with me…. I feel a little violated as we had sexual intercourse the second day I came and he went straight to work afterwards and also the following day maybe I am just being silly but can anyone help me …. I don’t want to invest in someone if the feeling is not mutual (even though he says it is)

I fancy the pants of him and have never met/seen someone this “perfect”…. He has great family morals and speaks very highly about family/friends…. Is this just an animators life? Can a relationship actually work? Or am I just wasting time…. He has said sorry profusely in regards to having to go to work…. And told me it’s best to come once the season has died down and he has more spare time but I also have a life to live and cannot waste time, I have my job and my kids to take into consideration I cannot just drop everything and go visit when I want….. I just cannot wonder have I been sucked in and he has other females on the go? Have I fell for a rat? I have no right to really get angry etc as technically we both are single…. I just don’t want to invest if he is only after the one thing…. I just don’t know what to do/think ‍♀️
Welcome here @Ada2976
Its hard to tell if he's a rat or not, have you searched for his name here at the forum or take a look in the media.
Here are a few links to read for you :



Yvonne xxx
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Welcome @Ada2976 .
He is an animator so there is great chance he’s bad news. They are known to be 99% scammers.

Having no time for you because of his job is a poor excuse. Animators have plenty of time to play and fool around during the day and after work. Beside, when we love someone, we can always make time for them. He may assure you he loves you, but actions speak louder than words. This is insulting and telling that he ignored you most of the time the second time you went. He must have someone else.
I’m sorry it sounds harsh but we have to tell you things as they are. If I were you, I’d move on and look for someone better in your country, not a flaky and disrespectful tunisian animator.
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Hi and welcome to forum. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’ll be blunt. He is most likely like southern girl said, a rat. He certainly doesn’t have respect for you as he slept with you the second night you was there. In his eyes you are nothing more than a cheap naive western woman, he has to stay at work because he is working on other women while they are there. I promise you during summer he is out and about all day and all night… someone is paying better than he thinks you have the potential to do. You have 2 kids, not only does he not want another man’s kids on his neck, they will take money that you could be giving him in future and the responsibility of them could effect his visa eligibility.. rats take all that into consideration. So you were basically nothing more than someone to talk to to keep his ego up and easy sex. Please believe me, in our culture men do not sleep 2nd night with woman they respect and truly love, never. My advice is move in and save yourself. He is animator, you do not want that.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Perfectly said, @Aisha1, as usual.
@Ada2976 , please forget about this guy even if it’ll take a lot of effort at first. They have always a main victim they spend most of their time with but they still keep their other women on the side. I don’t know if you are his main woman or not but you can be certain that if he ignored you during her stay at his hotel, it’s because he was with someone else. Block him for your protection but expect him to keep contacting you once in a while. They don’t like to be rejected and they tend to hang on to the western women they once hooked. Be firm. If he sees it’s working, he’ll use you and break your heart.

Also, him talking highly about this family doesn’t mean a thing. They know what to say to make themselves look like good men. They have in fact no moral values. He doesn’t ask you money. It may be because someone else gives him all he wants or because he knows how to hide his game. Some rats don’t ask for money or at least not at first.
 
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Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Hi and welcome, they have said it all! He is an animator, it’s his job meanwhile I’m sure you are one of many he is entertaining, in other words he has his choice, he may not ask for money or anything yet but beware they work their way in! You have seen him twice, I think I would not invest too much into him as you will end up broken hearted and used and I’m sure the money will come soon maybe after the season has changed and he’s not working as much..a visa is probably on his mind also.. beware they are sneaky! Invest in your children and leave him behind before he leaves you
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
So a little background information about me I am a single mum of two children was in a relationship for 12 years and that broke down and have been single for 4 years…. Came to Tunisia at the beginning of the year and had the hots for an Animator…. I thought he was amazing…. Good looks, polite, kind, great with people/kids… great entertainer and very fun to be with….. we went on quite a few dates in the duration I was there….. and when came back to England we spoke every single day, text/phone/video….. I just cannot work out if he is genuine! Because I have now come back to Tunisia “alone” to be with this man and out of the 7 days I was there last week he hardly made time for me!!! Because of WORK!! He is only 3 years younger than me so is not a huge age gap…. I know I am a fool and do wear my heart on my sleeve but that’s because I am kind and don’t know what faults to look for and this is all very new to me… He has never asked me for money or anything like that…. He just wants to see and be with me but work has really buggered up the plans we did have…. Or was this the plan all along to not actually be with me…. I feel a little violated as we had sexual intercourse the second day I came and he went straight to work afterwards and also the following day maybe I am just being silly but can anyone help me …. I don’t want to invest in someone if the feeling is not mutual (even though he says it is)

I fancy the pants of him and have never met/seen someone this “perfect”…. He has great family morals and speaks very highly about family/friends…. Is this just an animators life? Can a relationship actually work? Or am I just wasting time…. He has said sorry profusely in regards to having to go to work…. And told me it’s best to come once the season has died down and he has more spare time but I also have a life to live and cannot waste time, I have my job and my kids to take into consideration I cannot just drop everything and go visit when I want….. I just cannot wonder have I been sucked in and he has other females on the go? Have I fell for a rat? I have no right to really get angry etc as technically we both are single…. I just don’t want to invest if he is only after the one thing…. I just don’t know what to do/think ‍♀️
Hi @Ada2976 welcome to the forum. All the ladies has summed up the reasons why he probably is a rat. Don't forget it's a Muslim country and so is he, a Muslim so he acts different when he's at work it's to look free and be available to women. It's his job. His other job is bezness. It's his side job, meeting different women each week and having free sex. The future will be him asking for money or the ultimate goal will be a visa through marriage.
Handsome, ugly, married, engaged it doesn't mean anything to a rat they will sleep with foreign women.
Take it as a holiday fling and forget him.
 

Unicorn

Junior Rat Expert
Hi, welcome to the forum, were your plans not discussed before you flew out the second time? Did you stay in the hotel that he works in? I presume you have researched this guy, on here and Facebook? How have things been since you have returned?
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
@Mr Kirby do I ask for your former psychologist analysis on my post? No I certainly do not. I can approach the forum however I like and my approach is different from what you like apparently. What I told her is true and I hope what I said will save her from being used… if she is hurt from my words then she is free to report me and admins can take action against me. Every person on this forum has a unique option based on their location and culture, I’m middle eastern Muslim woman and I don’t hide this. I refuse to say something I know for a fact to be wrong, we are adults and seeking information, if I can deliver what I know to be true then I’ll say it.
You should know I hold a bachelor degree, but im not on this forum financially advising everyone because it’s not my business ( unless they ask), but point being I don’t ask for you to lecture me Or make analysis of all my words because you have a chip on your shoulder about how I communicate. Like I said this lady is free to report me and I’ll stay off her thread, but until then thank you for your concern for our vulnerable new members.
U said aisha 1 exactly what the rats do think off the western foreign women and to some extent they think that way with any woman that allows them sex after 2nd day or even week month year whatever that's how the dispicable rats think
I think she was totally inlove with him and to make love is a sacrifice off your body you give to the man or woman u love
He's a rat a animation he dosent care off feelings
How can they not have feelings to the woman they progress to love and making love between 2 people is supposed to be so beautiful and special
And he got her to come and spent no time with her that's disrespectful

We all need to see that these rats have no heart no feelings no emotions
The reason aisha1 that I respect u is that u tell the women the truth and how it is
No matter how much it hurts us we need to hear the truth from someone that knows
It's heartbreaking when u truly love that person and u think he loves u too
When in fact its complete acting
It's time for us women to say no to money no to sex no to visits unless they pay half and no to visa unless they contribute
The rats are a species off aliens and are disgusting vile and mentally retarded in head !!!!!!
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I think It's the last thing she wants to hear right now.
Please read between the lines and you will notice that your words made more harm than good.
I know @Aisha1 that your intentions are good, but choosing the right words to argument an idea (whether it's worng or right) is very important.

You may not see what's between the lines right now, but others will do for sure, and someday you will :)

I'm a former psychologist, and I do know how much words impact others. The greatest mistake we always make is believing that our words have no value in other people’s lives.

I hope you get the idea :)

You wil be fine @Ada2976 , just focus on yourself :)
I think there is no harm in what @Aisha1 said. That’s the way rats think of women and it’s important that victims are aware of the way these men view them.
 
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Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
@Mr Kirby, first off, I appreciate that you care about victims and that you were concerned that @Ada2976 may feel hurt. It shows kindness and compassion. You didn’t want to attack Aisha1, you just gave your point of view.

That being said, Aisha1 didn’t say anything wrong either. Victims and potential victims need to be informed and be told what rats are like and what they’re about. They meet these guys on line who portray themselves as so sweet. They tell women all what they want to hear and the victims get smitten. They don’t realize they are being deceived and it’s our duty here to help them open their eyes and see reality. The fact that rats view women who sleep with them as cheap and stupid is a harsh reality. These women in love need to know that even if it’s not pleasant to hear, even if they may feel stupid in the moment and if it hurts bad. They need to know they are simply being used and disrespected so they can protect themselves and not let any of these rats mess around with them in the future.

They don’t understand the mentality of rats and we need to make them realize what kind of people they are dealing with and that’s what @Aisha1 was doing. They may have no one in their life who are aware of rats’practices and here may be the only place where they will get valuable information, as unpleasant as they are. Yes, we have to be sensitive to their feelings but we also have to tell them the cruel facts about rats so they can build a shield around them and stay away from these dangerous creeps.

You and Aisha1 are here for the same reasons: helping, informing and supporting victims and you should all get along. You are both very knowledgeable because you know the ‘rat culture’ better than the rest of us do because you saw it firsthand. You are assets here and your input is very important. I hope you all stay here.
Sometimes it’s hard to be sensitive to the woman’s feelings that come here for our honest opinion. Because sometimes it is harsh and hard to hear but they came here to us so……. After sleeping with him and then the second time coming over not getting much attention says it all
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Sometimes it’s hard to be sensitive to the woman’s feelings that come here for our honest opinion. Because sometimes it is harsh and hard to hear but they came here to us so……. After sleeping with him and then the second time coming over not getting much attention says it all
No matter where a man is from, culture, religion…if he cares about you he really will try to make time. I know work is work.. but I also know how these guys at the resorts can maneuver anything. He could have been calling her while she was there and planning something to do the second his obligation to work is over, come have breakfast before day, have lunch at break, have dinner after… something. He could even get her pass to resort he works in to sit at pool or beach just to see each other and be near. I’m going off what she said, maybe he did and I don’t know the details, but what convinced me absolutely he is bad plan for her is the being intimate. I understand that being intimate shows sign of love, commitment , love… it’s just different view in this culture… it’s seen as easy and disrespectful. They not engaged or married, I don’t know if she even mentioned they are exclusive, no matter what anyone can say in that Tunisian man’s head he will think if she slept with him with little effort on his end then it’s happening in her country often ( I’m not saying it is), but they jealous men, especially when fascinated and in love. I know someone will argue that Arabs/ Tunisian are entitled to free sex life when they want, but truth is it just is not like that majority of situations.
 

Unicorn

Junior Rat Expert
The issue is, and happens a lot on this forum, is there are various different opinions and everyone thinks there opinion is the right one. Listen to what someone has to say.....question them further try to understand why they think something different....be adults. We talk about rats throwing their toys out there prams, some on here are no different.

Sex and respect seems to be something that is talked about a lot....a European/western woman may not understand the arab culture but it also happens the other way round, arabs dont understand our culture. Everything works both ways .

I know I come across as the devil advocate sometimes, but I want members to see the bigger picture, not everything is so cut and dried.

Not every member is right in their thinking and the things that are said on here.

But were here for the reason to support....and that is the key word....because there is supporting a member and making them feel worthless through words, we dont need to keep hearing the same stories over and over again. We need to be giving impartial advice and guidance.
 

Unicorn

Junior Rat Expert
hello to everyone...i know i dont say much,but i have been here a long time ,and im always around.i only say things when i think they need to be said....and this needs to be said.mr kirby.....i dont know what youre issue is right now,but...this is the second long time member that you have upset in the last few days.the ladies here dont argue among themselves...and dont upset each other,yes there is the odd new member that comes in and ends up being toxic..so gets banned..but never the long time members do have issues with each other.maybe if you are going to come here and pee people off then you should remain silent!!
You honestly can't be serious? You can't tell a member to stay silent, just because you don't agree with them?

Maybe Mr Kirby has annoyed 2 members because they didnt like his opinion....but hes entitled to an opinion just as much as anyone. I think his opinion should be taken noticed of, hes tunisian, he knows how it all works and what goes on.
 

Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
There's a report button when another member post something you don't like or agree with I suggest you use it or take things to a private message and talk things through.

Each and every member has the right to an opinion, if you don't like a comment or a post you can choose to don't reply to it.

This thread will be closed untill it all calms down

Yvonne x
 
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Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
This thread is open again and I do hope it doesn't happen again. Let's all agree to disagree it's upsetting to see how quick it all goes the wrong way.

@Ada2976 how are you? Do you still talk to your tunisian man? If you want more info or help we are here for you and I'm sorry your thread was closed for a while, it happens sometimes.

Yvonne xx
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
So a little background information about me I am a single mum of two children was in a relationship for 12 years and that broke down and have been single for 4 years…. Came to Tunisia at the beginning of the year and had the hots for an Animator…. I thought he was amazing…. Good looks, polite, kind, great with people/kids… great entertainer and very fun to be with….. we went on quite a few dates in the duration I was there….. and when came back to England we spoke every single day, text/phone/video….. I just cannot work out if he is genuine! Because I have now come back to Tunisia “alone” to be with this man and out of the 7 days I was there last week he hardly made time for me!!! Because of WORK!! He is only 3 years younger than me so is not a huge age gap…. I know I am a fool and do wear my heart on my sleeve but that’s because I am kind and don’t know what faults to look for and this is all very new to me… He has never asked me for money or anything like that…. He just wants to see and be with me but work has really buggered up the plans we did have…. Or was this the plan all along to not actually be with me…. I feel a little violated as we had sexual intercourse the second day I came and he went straight to work afterwards and also the following day maybe I am just being silly but can anyone help me …. I don’t want to invest in someone if the feeling is not mutual (even though he says it is)

I fancy the pants of him and have never met/seen someone this “perfect”…. He has great family morals and speaks very highly about family/friends…. Is this just an animators life? Can a relationship actually work? Or am I just wasting time…. He has said sorry profusely in regards to having to go to work…. And told me it’s best to come once the season has died down and he has more spare time but I also have a life to live and cannot waste time, I have my job and my kids to take into consideration I cannot just drop everything and go visit when I want….. I just cannot wonder have I been sucked in and he has other females on the go? Have I fell for a rat? I have no right to really get angry etc as technically we both are single…. I just don’t want to invest if he is only after the one thing…. I just don’t know what to do/think ‍♀️
Hi and after reading your post again, who wouldn’t call for a kind Good looking attentive man? I don’t understand why he has so much time to chat with you once you got back home but when you came back the second time (alone) he couldn’t make time for you! This would really hurt my feelings. He might have other women he plays also. True you can’t drop everything and go back because he may have more time after the season. Are you both talking now? Hope do you feel about him? You just need to keep it all in respective and see how it goes! But if after he’s not working as much and ask for money..RUN!
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
@Mr Kirby why are you insulting me and having some grudge on me? Do I truly offend you so much? If so I’ll exit this forum not to further amuse you. I’m actually tired of the constant back and forth with you against me. If my opinion is funny and stupid then why I’m I here? I’m sure you have way more intellectual input and point on point words, so please be my guest.. it’s all yours. I refuse you to insult me and reprimand me on this forum! You are certainly not my husband, my father, brother, cousin.. therefore you don’t not matter!
He's not the only one Mr kirby has done it too
He did it to me too which I too refused to accept
I was going to leave but then I thought no stand strong don't let any man intimidate you
The laughing emoji .mr kirby put on my serious comment was insulting to me
But he did not think so
If we are to be members on this forum we learn a few things no insulting no disrespect no laughing unless the comment was actually funny
Mr kirby u need to be more considerate off other feelings and take great care not to be so free and easy with that laughing emoji
I cam understand aisha being angry at your response
I was too
Let's all get on with helping each other and being more respectful to each woman as each and everyone have similar experience with rats but all the same outcome
These rats are lethal and that's what we are here for to oust the rats not belittle other women
And I appuald women that stand up to theses dispicable rats
And tell the truth about them even if it hurts us we need to be told
Let's remember the rats are the whole point off tlr they need extinguishing
The women in TLR need support and no judgment xxxxx
 

AnnieAnon

Major Ratslayer
Oh honey, I don’t want to sound harsh but this animator used you for an easy night of sex. He got what he wanted and for whatever reason has decided you aren’t of any use to him. He’s a young man working in the tourism industry, he meets young, single women every day, in his head why should he settle with you and your kids, when women throw themselves, and money, at him on a daily basis.
He won’t block you though, he will put you on the reserve list for when he is bored or when summer season has dried up and he needs attention/money.
He isn’t too busy, in fact it’s a disgrace that you turned up to his country and he can’t even be bothered to spend time with you. He doesn’t see you as anything serious unfortunately. Learn from this and move on, this is nothing but an expensive 1 night stand.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
The last few days there's alot of bickering, fighting amongst eachother. I really hate this. It's upsetting for older as for new members. It's not what TLR is all about.
Now I do know some replies are not always what we want to hear but it's the reason we all are here, to advice, support and to tell the truth, because rats lie to all these women so it's important we tell the truth about tunisian society and traditions
Why are some of us fighting? Overreacting about something or some words? I have read it all and choose to reply only 1 time because it has no use all this word twisting explanations,it only leads to more fighting and more discussions.
There is a huge difference in insulting or not agreeing with somebody. I had a difference of opinion with Mr Kirby and we talked it out in PM as it should be.
What's the point of all these discussions? If you don't like how a person reacts to your posts just put them on ignore so they can't see what you are posting.
Don't forget men are from Mars and women are from Venus ;)
I'm not here to upset nobody I just wish this would all stop :(
Think before you reply to a post or don't say anything, it's as easy as that. Once words are written you can't take it back.
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
The last few days there's alot of bickering, fighting amongst eachother. I really hate this. It's upsetting for older as for new members. It's not what TLR is all about.
Now I do know some replies are not always what we want to hear but it's the reason we all are here, to advice, support and to tell the truth, because rats lie to all these women so it's important we tell the truth about tunisian society and traditions
Why are some of us fighting? Overreacting about something or some words? I have read it all and choose to reply only 1 time because it has no use all this word twisting explanations,it only leads to more fighting and more discussions.
There is a huge difference in insulting or not agreeing with somebody. I had a difference of opinion with Mr Kirby and we talked it out in PM as it should be.
What's the point of all these discussions? If you don't like how a person reacts to your posts just put them on ignore so they can't see what you are posting.
Don't forget men are from Mars and women are from Venus ;)
I'm not here to upset nobody I just wish this would all stop :(
Think before you reply to a post or don't say anything, it's as easy as that. Once words are written you can't take
We need to focus on the needs and support off the members
We all have been through enough
everyday is a struggle to accept what the rats did and everyday is a struggle to accept that yes I was stupid I admit it I blame myself and these woman need to know don't let it go on for years like some off us did
You have the strength and power with us to support to u to walk away before your heart gets broke in pieces
These rats are vile venomous immature morans
No one knows the extent off the damage they cause till the rat shows his true colours
One red flag leads to many more
How we all wish we could turn back time xxxx
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
The last few days there's alot of bickering, fighting amongst eachother. I really hate this. It's upsetting for older as for new members. It's not what TLR is all about.
Now I do know some replies are not always what we want to hear but it's the reason we all are here, to advice, support and to tell the truth, because rats lie to all these women so it's important we tell the truth about tunisian society and traditions
Why are some of us fighting? Overreacting about something or some words? I have read it all and choose to reply only 1 time because it has no use all this word twisting explanations,it only leads to more fighting and more discussions.
There is a huge difference in insulting or not agreeing with somebody. I had a difference of opinion with Mr Kirby and we talked it out in PM as it should be.
What's the point of all these discussions? If you don't like how a person reacts to your posts just put them on ignore so they can't see what you are posting.
Don't forget men are from Mars and women are from Venus ;)
I'm not here to upset nobody I just wish this would all stop :(
Think before you reply to a post or don't say anything, it's as easy as that. Once words are written you can't take it back.
I couldn't have said it better myself!

I am not going to lecture anyone as you are all adults with different opinions, with this in mind you will also realise that it is unfair to derail OPs thread .

We can't ask you enough to just use the 'report' and or 'ignore' function' it really is the mature way to handle members you are not so 'keen' on.

All the comments not relevant to the thread will now be deleted.

MH x
 
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cara22

Junior Rat Expert
Point is,when i lefthe opepn his phone and check messages from all other wimen, i knew it when i saw his face,discusting peace og shitttttt
 
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