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Going for the limit

Major Ratslayer
I need some help guys .
I have been talking to a lady for several weeks , my details was passed on to her .
Anyway she's with a rat , classic rat behaviour, he's putting pressure on her to get married even though she knows he is a rat .
This past few days I am really concerned about her mental health, she's so so low and posting some strange ramblings about heaven . I don't know what to do . Obviously I am trying to talk to her and support her but it's not enough. I have contacted her rat to tell him to back off and leave her alone. Got so bad my hubby has stepped him and also messaged him even though he doesn't know him but put himself on the line to do so .
Don't know now what I can do ffs
 

Megane

Major Ratslayer
I need some help guys .
I have been talking to a lady for several weeks , my details was passed on to her .
Anyway she's with a rat , classic rat behaviour, he's putting pressure on her to get married even though she knows he is a rat .
This past few days I am really concerned about her mental health, she's so so low and posting some strange ramblings about heaven . I don't know what to do . Obviously I am trying to talk to her and support her but it's not enough. I have contacted her rat to tell him to back off and leave her alone. Got so bad my hubby has stepped him and also messaged him even though he doesn't know him but put himself on the line to do so .
Don't know now what I can do ffs
All I can say BLOCK!!!!! but I know you'll have already told her this and it has to be her decision. I was in that place, I thought that not being here anymore would be better than the pain and the thoughts in my head. After a few days cold turkey without contact I started to feel stronger but still had the questions going around my head which is where TLR came in to put everything into perspective. Sometimes you have to accept that there are no answers as difficult as that is for the mind to do. TLR will show it for what it is and support her through the hard times of moving forward. Big hugs to this lady x
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
All I can say BLOCK!!!!! but I know you'll have already told her this and it has to be her decision. I was in that place, I thought that not being here anymore would be better than the pain and the thoughts in my head. After a few days cold turkey without contact I started to feel stronger but still had the questions going around my head which is where TLR came in to put everything into perspective. Sometimes you have to accept that there are no answers as difficult as that is for the mind to do. TLR will show it for what it is and support her through the hard times of moving forward. Big hugs to this lady x
I agree block will be the only way forward but she needs to make the decision. Unfortunately being told the best solution sometimes works the other way and pushes them further into rat traps.

All you can do and have been doing is be there with a gentle hand.

MH x
 
B

Brasilgirl

Guest
I directed her to the forum . She's been reading a little . I'm trying to encourage her to post , not his name etc as she isn't ready but just a simple post so she can have the support and advice she so needs .
I'm really worried about her . She is spiralling fast and I think she will go back to him even though she tells me he is a rat , visa hunter etc
She may have other issues too. Many of us fell for our rats when we were going through rough times emotionally. Those rough times may still be there for her and she has the rat on top of that.
It might be best for her to see a counsellor.
I hope she is going to be okay.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
I need some help guys .
I have been talking to a lady for several weeks , my details was passed on to her .
Anyway she's with a rat , classic rat behaviour, he's putting pressure on her to get married even though she knows he is a rat .
This past few days I am really concerned about her mental health, she's so so low and posting some strange ramblings about heaven . I don't know what to do . Obviously I am trying to talk to her and support her but it's not enough. I have contacted her rat to tell him to back off and leave her alone. Got so bad my hubby has stepped him and also messaged him even though he doesn't know him but put himself on the line to do so .
Don't know now what I can do ffs
B
I directed her to the forum . She's been reading a little . I'm trying to encourage her to post , not his name etc as she isn't ready but just a simple post so she can have the support and advice she so needs .
I'm really worried about her . She is spiralling fast and I think she will go back to him even though she tells me he is a rat , visa hunter etc
You are absolutely doing the right thing and be proud - the worst thing, in my humble opinion, is to tell someone what they should and shouldn't do. I only say that because I was told, rightly so, that he was a rat so chose my heart over my head - good on you for just being there.

MH x
 

Going for the limit

Major Ratslayer
She has told me they have been together for 5 year, on line relationship for 4 and together for 1 . He doesn't love bomb her or give her empty promises he doesn't do anything except demand money and gifts . Wont take pictures with her or anything
She is a lovely lady but she's focusing on a wedding , his family and friends have actually told her what he is but she can't let go
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
She has told me they have been together for 5 year, on line relationship for 4 and together for 1 . He doesn't love bomb her or give her empty promises he doesn't do anything except demand money and gifts . Wont take pictures with her or anything
She is a lovely lady but she's focusing on a wedding , his family and friends have actually told her what he is but she can't let go
She won't let go until she is ready - you have shown her this site and unfortunately the rest is up to her.

You are being a good friend and when it goes wrong as it probibly will then you will be there as will all of us.

Its going to be a hard uphill struggle but you have started her on the steps to recovery with your understanding.

MH x
 
S

Snuggle

Guest
Just want to say that I am well on my way to recovery :D
I have been blocking my emotions for such a long time that many events didn’t get to me. When bad things happened I took notice what happened en just went on with my life like nothing happened. I was just very emotionless, could not cry.
At the moment we have a bad situation in our family and I can cry again and feel sad at moments.
It’s not a very nice time but I am happy that I can feel again. Life is a lot better without a rat.
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Just want to say that I am well on my way to recovery :D
I have been blocking my emotions for such a long time that many events didn’t get to me. When bad things happened I took notice what happened en just went on with my life like nothing happened. I was just very emotionless, could not cry.
At the moment we have a bad situation in our family and I can cry again and feel sad at moments.
It’s not a very nice time but I am happy that I can feel again. Life is a lot better without a rat.
I am still in recovery, some things will take awhile to get over. My mother and brother dying this year opened up old wounds, who should have been there was not there to offer support. The rat watches my social profiles religiously you think he would have offered his condolences regardless of the hatred he has towards me. I say hatred because I connected the dots and told the truth the way things were not as he tells it , the ultimate betrayal never comes from enemies you know. I found messages and found out things about myself I never even knew (sarcasm) again it's just eye-opening to know to what extent he wanted to use me and has used me.
I know one things for sure he will never meet a nicer person than me, to come to his country three times to shower him with happiness because from what I can see in the imperfect world we live in there are not many who will do what I did.
 
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Epiphany

Guest
I am still in recovery, some things will take awhile to get over. My mother and brother dying this year opened up old wounds, who should have been there was not there to offer support. The rat watches my social profiles religiously you think he would have offered his condolences regardless of the hatred he has towards me. I say hatred because I connected the dots and told the truth the way things were not as he tells it , the ultimate betrayal never comes from enemies you know. I found messages and found out things about myself I never even knew (sarcasm) again it's just eye-opening to know to what extent he wanted to use me and has used me.
I know one things for sure he will never meet a nicer person than me, to come to his country three times to shower him with happiness because from what I can see in the imperfect world we live in there are not many who will do what I did.
First off, I am sorry for your losses, I can't imagine what you are going through. My heart goes out to you.
I think one of the hardest things to comprehend is that rats take our kindness and compassion for weakness. They don't care that we are nice or good people or what we do for them. They only have one goal and they will step on us to reach it. :Evil:
Recovery takes time but you will get there. Stay strong and hang in there. We are all here.

Xx
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
First off, I am sorry for your losses, I can't imagine what you are going through. My heart goes out to you.
I think one of the hardest things to comprehend is that rats take our kindness and compassion for weakness. They don't care that we are nice or good people or what we do for them. They only have one goal and they will step on us to reach it. :Evil:
Recovery takes time but you will get there. Stay strong and hang in there. We are all here.

Xx
Thank you Epiphany its been a struggle, one I would not wish on my worst enemy but I am doing it in memory of both of my loved ones. What makes it even worse is that there is a couple of vultures infighting with me after the funeral:(! It was not enough that I gave up many years looking after the both of them that is what family does, these are people who would call once in awhile but put no effort into a family relationship. I am part of the sandwich generation looking after my own family, looking after myself and looking after my mother and brother. I am the go to person, the punching bag for some, before the rat used to get off on belittling me so can you imagine how crazy things are and I can still manage. Heck the rat would crumble if he had to deal with all this!!
I don't know how some people can sleep at night especially the rats.
 
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Epiphany

Guest
Thank you Epiphany its been a struggle, one I would not wish on my worst enemy but I am doing it in memory of both of my loved ones. What makes it even worse is that there is a couple of vultures infighting with me after the funeral:(! It was not enough that I gave up many years looking after the both of them that is what family does, these are people who would call once in awhile but put no effort into a family relationship. I am part of the sandwich generation looking after my own family, looking after myself and looking after my mother and brother. I am the go to person, the punching bag for some, before the rat used to get off on belittling me so can you imagine how crazy things are and I can still manage. Heck the rat would crumble if he had to deal with all this!!
I don't know how some people can sleep at night especially the rats.
You show great strength after dealing both with your family and a rat. That is a lot for anyone to handle and as you said, you can still manage, that is huge. So just keep doing what you are doing and everything will work out.
Think of TLR as your other family to be there when they can't. You got this and we got you! Hugs
 
D

Deleted member 34774

Guest
D

Deleted member 146

Guest
Quote



[IMG alt="Going for the limit"]https://www.tunisianloverats.com/data/avatars/m/31/31559.jpg?1556672611[/IMG]
Going for the limit
Well-Known Member

3 minutes ago
I have really no idea what is going on in this forum nothing makes sense , I am guessing most of it is going on behind the scenes so for us here reading through it all is just so confusing .
I have respect for Heidi and mango for what they do .
I have respect also for every other member who sits tirelessly supporting victims on this forum , weather it be Laura , bbt, liona, femmefatal etc .
Yeah a forum this big and from many different cultural and language barriers it is very easy to offend .
I think I have probably offended people too either knowingly or unknowingly.
I state always I have no time for the trolls, rat groupies or blatant stupidity ( some see it as victim bashing) but I see it sometimes as blatant top and bottom black and white no ifs or buts stupidity .
I will say my opinion on forum for all to see than play nice on here then be a bitch behind the scenes .. that is just me !

Jisela left I think because of me and mystery that girl was having a serious breakdown on forum and she went straight in to attack us and it had been building up for a while .

I must say I am totally shocked by those messages between liona and femmefatal what the he'll went on for all of that!!
Up until it kicked off I never really saw liona be anything but supportive to members .

Dear God ffs
 
D

Deleted member 146

Guest
Quote


[IMG alt="see clearly"]https://www.tunisianloverats.com/data/avatars/m/31/31919.jpg?1495820366[/IMG]
see clearly
Well-Known Member

3 minutes ago
Heidi said:
Tunisia : Life Expectancy https://www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/tunisia-life-expectancy






MaleFemale
74.178.1
TotalWorld Rank
76.058

According to the latest WHO data published in 2018 life expectancy in Tunisia is: Male 74.1, female 78.1 and total life expectancy is 76.0 which gives Tunisia a World Life Expectancy ranking of 58.
Click to expand...
ooooh fab thanks Heidi my mind is in the mood for such info. Can i be really boring and ask what the uk is on the same or even a table lol if you have time . I should look it up myself. I guess there are pockets of povety like anywhere i here kasserine i think it is is really bad. insanitary poor life expectancy like ten years less than rest of tunisia .
 
D

Deleted member 146

Guest
ooooh fab thanks Heidi my mind is in the mood for such info. Can i be really boring and ask what the uk is on the same or even a table lol if you have time . I should look it up myself. I guess there are pockets of povety like anywhere i here kasserine i think it is is really bad. insanitary poor life expectancy like ten years less than rest of tunisia .
United Kingdom : Life Expectancy



MaleFemale
79.783.2
TotalWorld Rank
81.422

According to the latest WHO data published in 2018 life expectancy in United Kingdom is: Male 79.7, female 83.2 and total life expectancy is 81.4 which gives United Kingdom a World Life Expectancy ranking of 22.

This link shows you the whole world ;) https://www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/united-kingdom-life-expectancy
 

see clearly

Major Ratslayer
Quote



[IMG alt="Going for the limit"]https://www.tunisianloverats.com/data/avatars/m/31/31559.jpg?1556672611[/IMG]
Going for the limit
Well-Known Member

3 minutes ago
I have really no idea what is going on in this forum nothing makes sense , I am guessing most of it is going on behind the scenes so for us here reading through it all is just so confusing .
I have respect for Heidi and mango for what they do .
I have respect also for every other member who sits tirelessly supporting victims on this forum , weather it be Laura , bbt, liona, femmefatal etc .
Yeah a forum this big and from many different cultural and language barriers it is very easy to offend .
I think I have probably offended people too either knowingly or unknowingly.
I state always I have no time for the trolls, rat groupies or blatant stupidity ( some see it as victim bashing) but I see it sometimes as blatant top and bottom black and white no ifs or buts stupidity .
I will say my opinion on forum for all to see than play nice on here then be a bitch behind the scenes .. that is just me !

Jisela left I think because of me and mystery that girl was having a serious breakdown on forum and she went straight in to attack us and it had been building up for a while .

I must say I am totally shocked by those messages between liona and femmefatal what the he'll went on for all of that!!
Up until it kicked off I never really saw liona be anything but supportive to members .

Dear God ffs
Not to mention any rats posing as victims or just coming on here god i cant remember their names amour and another one were obviously ratty weird played word tango with mango and all that but she was always ontop Ive always thankfully had a positive experience i think id go away and cry if i was "attacked " so to speak i havnt seen the whole forum so i cant say i just randomly comment here and there i notice it flips back and forth i must have tagged everything to follow and i respond ten realise the comment was like 5 years ago. I hopeless at even reading emails the correct time line way i still couldnt say if its top to bottom or bottom t top boards im probaby annoying lol i butt in here and there then dissapear for years . I just hope that those who had a strong mind set at the time if with their rat or habibi and it changed can feel they can come back for suppport even if they change their avatar or not . I think you will be welcomed and supported .
 

see clearly

Major Ratslayer
Sorry I just had to l :)
Aye that's one way of putting it. Seriously I lookedmy rats age and eve I was wondering all the time about the "age gap " it was about 9 years but easily could have been mistaken for 5 or less it's true. I do think the ones that don't ask for money are the most visa hunting ones as they want to convince you long haul.
 
A

AmberHeart

Guest
Random Question, what does it mean for Tunisians the term “Honey” “a honey” “the honey” have read some small posts and it seems an insult, but on this side of the world it is a very pretty thing to say among lovers.
Please and thank you xx
 
M

Mango Chutney

Guest
Random Question, what does it mean for Tunisians the term “Honey” “a honey” “the honey” have read some small posts and it seems an insult, but on this side of the world it is a very pretty thing to say among lovers.
Please and thank you xx
Oh, that word changing thing strikes again! Sets me off giggling every time :D
 
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