Welcome to TLR

Sameh Meftah - Marhaba Beach Sousse

CUDDLE

Major Ratslayer
Hi Gemima

I travelled to Tunisia alone over a four yr period and i was always safe ...

My husband always came to meet me at the airport and took me back there when it was time to leave...

I think people are scareing you without reason at the moment.....

The question of your b/f's intentions and if he is a rat or not...well that is another chapter....

I would not recc anybody to go there alone unless they know someone there that will look after them outside of the hotel, as the pestering from the locals is just horrific and ruins any holiday in my humble opinion...

Cuddle xx

PS although my husband did always ensure my safety in Tunisia in the end he was one of the biggest rats living:(
 
G

Gemima247

Guest
Thanks Cuddle. That puts my mind at rest slightly.

I have scoured the gallery and have done searches on the forums and come up blank on my bloke. As I am aware though this means nothing!

I am planning on taking things very slowly, not letting the distance make my heart rule my head and hopefully time will tell whether he is rat or non rat.

At the very least I want to be able to go away for a week, enjoy my time in this beautiful country and not be worried about returning home safe and well :)
 

CUDDLE

Major Ratslayer
I am sure you will be safe and well xx

The Rat possibility will require more time..

My husband did not show his real face for a very long time....

If your b/f is a Rat he will keep you safe as you are his investment and if he is not a Rat he will keep you safe as he will be an honest Muslim man...
 
D

Deleted member 146

Guest
Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted on the forum yet but I have read through many of the posts and have found them very interesting.

After visiting in November, I am returning to Tunisia in January, with the main purpose of getting to know a guy better.

I have read everything about rat behaviour and I genuinely believe (at the moment) that he doesn't fall into this category. Whether that will change in the future, I will have to wait and see... One thing is for sure, after reading many posts on this forum I am well informed and very prepared!

My problem is... that my family and friends have scared me half to death, saying that all kinds of bad things are going to happen to me by travelling alone to Tunisia, and by trusting this man. They are saying things like they don't want my face to be all over Sky News with "British Tourist Missing". Initially it didn't bother me but the more and more they talk I'm kind of freaked out.

I have mentioned this to my Tunisian man, who I will be staying with at the hotel (in seperate rooms) and he has said that he cares for me and that he would never make me do anything that makes me feel scared or something that I dont like. I genuinely believe him when he says this and trust him full heartedly.

I guess that I'm really looking for some kind of reassurance that Tunisia isn't really that dangerous a place as they are making it out to be! At the moment I'm really worried about travelling alone :(

Wow! That's long, I apologise!

Any comments, advice or experiences shared is greatly appreciated. Any further information required please ask.

Thanks,
G x

Hi Gemima, you will be staying at a hotel so I think you will have a fabulous vacation :)
 

wallah

Major Ratslayer
Hi Gemima, I am aware that it is very early days, but before you get too involved, please make yourself aware of ALL the implications if the relationship does get serious - the visa regulations etc etc etc. A long distance relationship is very hard work indeed with a huge financial commitment which will all be on your shoulders. You really do have to consider all of this. All best
 
N

N. Amany

Guest
@Gemima247 i guess what your Family and friends are scared of is the political situation at the moment. Many advice to not go into certain areas alone . Even you dont know him Always stay close to Hotel . There are some Warnings out there now to not gather around large groups of People as some threats were made . But overall i am sure you will be safe here in Tunisia if you behave rationally . As you have said yourself you read here a lot and you are aware of the possibilities ... so enjoy your Vacation :)
 
A

Alien

Guest
Hi Gemina,

I know I'm not so positive as others, but at first I wouldn't travel alone to Tunisia. I mean without an agency's help. (Just buy a flight ticket, and let him wait for you in the airport) It's not good I think.
What if he won't go? What will you do there alone? How will you join to your hotel?
To stay together in an appartement with a practically stranger man is also not a good idea I think. Anything can happen. You can't know his intentions, he even can rape you. (even with grouprape with his friends)

There was also a girl from my country who went to Tunisia for her beloved, who locked her to the cellar, constantly raped her, took her money, phone and passport,...... It succeed for her to release after 1 month somehow, and she asked a mobile in a café, some people helped her, she called the embassy..... The embassy helped to bring her home. There was an interview with her on the tv, she said it was almost impossible to explain the embassy where she was, the streets have no name in Tunisia, only ruined houses, trash, and even if the street have name, it's written with "maggot" letters, you can't ever read it.
It's an extreme case I know, it doesn't happen every day, but if I were in your shoes I would be very careful until I know him better........
All the best!
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
Hi G
You will be fine - as said already, if he is a good man he will look after you, if he is a rat he will still look after you :)
I assume you will be in a tourist resort, so if you happen to be out alone just stay in the main tourist areas, same as you would in any other country.
Question - is he paying for both rooms? Does he have a good job?
BG xx
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
Hi Gemma ,,its safe as houses ,traveling anywhere alone is a worry ,But be sensible and be aware .You"ll have a great time and your bf ,,will make sure of that .I dont know if the goverment still have LOCATE .avaible.Its a register you hav to fill out ,,online...To let the foreign office know where you are anywhere around the world .Look it up online and register .And dont forget travel insurance and make sure you know who your hotel rep is.Its for your peace of mind .
 

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted on the forum yet but I have read through many of the posts and have found them very interesting.

After visiting in November, I am returning to Tunisia in January, with the main purpose of getting to know a guy better.

I have read everything about rat behaviour and I genuinely believe (at the moment) that he doesn't fall into this category. Whether that will change in the future, I will have to wait and see... One thing is for sure, after reading many posts on this forum I am well informed and very prepared!

My problem is... that my family and friends have scared me half to death, saying that all kinds of bad things are going to happen to me by travelling alone to Tunisia, and by trusting this man. They are saying things like they don't want my face to be all over Sky News with "British Tourist Missing". Initially it didn't bother me but the more and more they talk I'm kind of freaked out.

I have mentioned this to my Tunisian man, who I will be staying with at the hotel (in seperate rooms) and he has said that he cares for me and that he would never make me do anything that makes me feel scared or something that I dont like. I genuinely believe him when he says this and trust him full heartedly.

I guess that I'm really looking for some kind of reassurance that Tunisia isn't really that dangerous a place as they are making it out to be! At the moment I'm really worried about travelling alone :(

Wow! That's long, I apologise!

Any comments, advice or experiences shared is greatly appreciated. Any further information required please ask.

Thanks,
G x

Hi Gemima,
Firstly we all genuinely believed our rats and trusted them otherwise we wouldn't have gone back.
Like Cuddle said he will keep you safe as you are his investment and if he is not a Rat he will keep you safe as he will be an honest Muslim man...
So the chances are you will be physically safe. What is not safe is their ability to get you seriously hooked, to mess with your head and manipulate you until you become someone that even you can't recognise.
Rats are expert liars and because you will be in a different country, with different laws and customs and ways of thinking that are totally alien to us, you will be totally reliant on him while you are there and this only serves to make their manipulation easier.

A good example of this is recent post by Hopeful :S who's account was later taken over by Hopeful :S's friend and the original Hopeful :S came back as HappyDreamer (sounds confusing and sometimes the threads get confusing but please persevere and read through them)
http://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/bellevue-park-august-2014.3350/#post-171932
http://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/zizou-zied-chiba-riu.3466/#post-179953

Also read this http://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/rat-or-real-feelings.3491/page-5#post-183281 - they have ways and means of messing with you and controlling you that we can't even comprehend.

Regardless of this, even if he is not a rat, like wallah says "please make yourself aware of ALL the implications if the relationship does get serious - the visa regulations etc etc etc. A long distance relationship is very hard work indeed with a huge financial commitment which will all be on your shoulders. You really do have to consider all of this". What I would like to add to this is, if the relationship get serious and you end up married and having children with a Tunisian, there are serious legal issues you need to consider about your children. Fine if you have a long and happy marriage, but if not there is a huge risk you could loose your children.
I know you're probably not looking this far ahead at the moment but is it worth the risk of starting a long distance relationship? What's the point if you're not looking to the future? Is it worth the expense and risk if all you want is a nice relationship for a few months or a year or so?
 
hi gemima247 and welcome
I travelled to Tunisia many times alone until my marriage

some dos and donts:

  • HOTEL - I assume you booked and paid for it - we can tell you exactly where it is if you want to share that info
  • AIRPORT - make sure he meets you there but also have a back up plan - there are shuttle buses to and from the airport and transfers with A2B also good, again members here can supply you with more info
  • MOMEY - only change a little each day at the hotel reception but have enough for the taxi fare to the airport/other hotel if you need to het out of there - most hotels DO NOT accept credit cards and many want cash
  • LOCATE - the foreign office registration no longer exists however when you register at the hotel your details will be sent to the local police station
  • SAFETY - call/text a friend every day to ensure you are safe, have a special code word for good and bad so that they know
  • FLIGHT -its not easy to change your flight if you get fed up/pissed off
  • EXPLORE - don't go off the beaten track to visit his family, ect
  • don't get sucked intro paying for car hire - tell him public transport fine, which it is
  • WEATHER -its bloody freezing in tune in winter - no heating in cafes etc, and quite a lot of places are closed, again we can advise

As the ladies have said this is the easy bit, even if he is a good 'un it's a long hard road if you decide to continue with him.
 
G

Gemima247

Guest
All, thanks for your honest feedback.

I will be staying in a hotel in Sousse for my week. The same resort as my previous visit but not the same hotel.

My journey has been booked through a UK travel agent - Flights, airport to hotel transfer and vice versa and the hotel itself. My b/f did initially mention renting an apartment, just the two of us, but after some thought I decided that I didn't feel safe doing this. I took up the subject with him and he was more than happy for me to stay in a hotel instead if it meant I felt safe whilst I was there.

I have ready agreed with my brother to "check in" every day whilst I am away. I like the advice around buzz words that is an idea I will take on board and implement.

I have adequate travel insurance in place and all the details to take with me in case of an emergency.

I am know of the legal issues around Tunisian children and needing the fathers written consent to take them out of the country etc. However this still is very early days and more research will follow in due course around visa requirements etc - I do know as a British passport holder that I can stay for a period of up to three months legally :)

I am aware of the financial implications of trying to sustain a long distance relationship and I make my b/f feel the pain over this topic on a very regular basis. I will however not allow this to push me into making rash idiotic decisions.

Yes my bed/f does have a job and has been doing this job for some time. And yes I hate to say that it is within the tourism industry... Awaiting the groans.

It is early days and at the present time I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I have been contacted by other "men" I met whilst on holiday and their behaviour is that of typical rat - declaring they love me in the third sentence, that they are the best in bed, blah blah all the typical ratty commentary. I have had nothing like this from my b/f... So either he is a) genuine b) VERY clever and knows what he is doing. I guess time will tell!!

One thing I know for certain at this stage is that he is who he says he is (his full name), he was born where and when he told me he was. This has all been honest from day one... I know this because I made him send me a photo of his passport so I could book the hotel room in the correct name ;)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
D

Deleted member 146

Guest
@Gemima, It looks like you got everything wrapped up :) Does he have to work while you are in Sousse or is he on vacation too ? Why did you book another hotel, does he work in the last one ?
 
G

Gemima247

Guest
Yes Heidi the previous hotel I stayed in he works at. I'm not sure whether he has to work yet, it depends how quiet the hotel is really. Either way he is taking me with him apparently :)
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
G

Please be careful. My personal view:

1. The fact that he even suggested an apartment for the 2 of you rings alarm bells.
2. Is he paying for his room in the hotel or are you?
3. Being honest about his identity and where he is born means nothing. I saw my rat's papers - his identity was about the only thing he was honest about :rolleyes:

Please look out for the signs but be aware that Rats can be very patient and very clever.

BG x
 
N

N. Amany

Guest
@Gemima247 Sorry to say but you second post gets me a bit worried ...
İ qoute you ''


I know this because I made him send me a photo of his passport so I could book the hotel room in the correct name ;) ''

did you pay for his room too ?
Just the fact that he initially wanted to rent an apartment doesn't stick well with me .
A '' good muslim '' would never suggest that . That does not mean that there are no normal Tunisian man . There are good non practicing muslims ( still muslim by birth ) .
At this point i just advice you to read more on this site. İ know for a fact how it should go from a arab point of view , thats why i say it just doesn't stick to me well .....sorry dear
 
N

N. Amany

Guest
G

Please be careful. My personal view:

1. The fact that he even suggested an apartment for the 2 of you rings alarm bells.
2. Is he paying for his room in the hotel or are you?
3. Being honest about his identity and where he is born means nothing. I saw my rat's papers - his identity was about the only thing he was honest about :rolleyes:

Please look out for the signs but be aware that Rats can be very patient and very clever.

BG x

you posted while i was writing , BG i fully agree about the İd , showing İD to me is a common Rat sign they do this often . many women here who got tricked say the same thing .
Sorry about my negative post but its how i feel and how things should be normally ...
 
G

Gemima247

Guest
Thanks all. I'm thinking that I am going to have to agree with you!

I am going to go in January, at least I have an all inclusive hotel stay, with a seperate room and if I don't want to spend time with him then I don't have too :)

We shall see what happens!
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
@Gemima247

I am very relieved that you found us before you return to Tunisia.

Read typical rat quotes - read as many threads as you can. I agree you will be very safe as you are 'his property', 'his investment' and he will not allow another man anywhere near you.

Also though look for potential future rat signs such as telling you he has many problems, maybe tells you his sister is getting married. Looks for the subtle and the not so subtle hints because that is all he will do for now - he will not ask you for money at this stage but he will plant seeds about how life is difficult in Tunisia etc.

Taking you to work with him is something I haven't heard about yet - let us know how that goes.

Also read this http://www.tunisia-love.com/what-is-bezness-in-tunisia.htm

Sousse is rat central.

Take care, keep safe and keep your purse CLOSED.

xxxxxxxxxx
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
Thanks all. I'm thinking that I am going to have to agree with you!

I am going to go in January, at least I have an all inclusive hotel stay, with a seperate room and if I don't want to spend time with him then I don't have too :)

We shall see what happens!

Again, please be careful, he will get under your skin. They are very good at what they do.
Does he work in animation?
 
hi gemima247,

Sousse is rather bleak and cold in January
Thanks all. I'm thinking that I am going to have to agree with you!

I am going to go in January, at least I have an all inclusive hotel stay, with a seperate room and if I don't want to spend time with him then I don't have too :)

We shall see what happens!
which hotel?
 
M

miss M

Guest
Weve just found out my sister and gemima247 have been seeing the same guy :/ my sister has blocked contact after she confronted him and was due to fly out to see him but has now changed location of her holiday :) i swear my sister is a walking talking magnet for rats! Lol
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
Weve just found out my sister and gemima247 have been seeing the same guy :/ my sister has blocked contact after she confronted him and was due to fly out to see him but has now changed location of her holiday :) i swear my sister is a walking talking magnet for rats! Lol

Well thank goodness for TLR - get his ratty face in the gallery to warn any if his other victims
 
G

Gemima247

Guest
@Gemima247

I am very relieved that you found us before you return to Tunisia.

Read typical rat quotes - read as many threads as you can. I agree you will be very safe as you are 'his property', 'his investment' and he will not allow another man anywhere near you.

Also though look for potential future rat signs such as telling you he has many problems, maybe tells you his sister is getting married. Looks for the subtle and the not so subtle hints because that is all he will do for now - he will not ask you for money at this stage but he will plant seeds about how life is difficult in Tunisia etc.

Taking you to work with him is something I haven't heard about yet - let us know how that goes.

Also read this http://www.tunisia-love.com/what-is-bezness-in-tunisia.htm

Sousse is rat central.

Take care, keep safe and keep your purse CLOSED.

xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks, I have read through all of the quotes and none of them have come up yet.

He doesn't complain about his country at all or say anything to put it down in any way shape or form. He doesn't mention wanting to leave Tunisia and go anywhere else. He never moans about having to work or about not having money or needing this or needing that and not having any money.

I've already asked about family members and he's the youngest of three boys, he doesn't have any sisters. He is very proud of his mum, loves her unconditionally it would seem, and he very rarely mentions his dad.

Perhaps he is biding his time!!
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
Thanks, I have read through all of the quotes and none of them have come up yet.

He doesn't complain about his country at all or say anything to put it down in any way shape or form. He doesn't mention wanting to leave Tunisia and go anywhere else. He never moans about having to work or about not having money or needing this or needing that and not having any money.

I've already asked about family members and he's the youngest of three boys, he doesn't have any sisters. He is very proud of his mum, loves her unconditionally it would seem, and he very rarely mentions his dad.

Perhaps he is biding his time!!

You didnt read Miss M's post?
 
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