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Seasoned but still in denial

nortont284

Well-Known Member
I’ve been a member here for sometime now. I continue to visit often. Sympathize and contemplate but still clap myself on the back for finding “the perfect guy” lol. We have been friends for probably two years. Met in a Facebook group. Then just started having longer discussions. This guy seemed to walk the walk he talked. He was well read. Often times we would read one another’s recommendations and the discuss the novel. Spoke near perfect English. Empathic but not overly, kind to everyone, almost won the election in his community. Never asked for money and always did what he was supposed to. But having a inquisitive and very suspicious mind after a time I noticed things that caused me to be somewhat concerned. I’d like to run this by you ladies. We used to talk through the night until 4 or 5am his time. He wasn’t working due to Covid so I didn’t mind keeping him up. But when he went to Sousse for his cousins wedding he just couldn’t find the time. Also he had to drive people around for money. Once to the capital all day. But no time to text hi. Other times at night he would say “babe I’m so sorry I’m to tired tonight. I’ll make it up tomorrow. Then I would notice girls posting hearts on his now nearly desolate Facebook posts. Girls/women that I had never seen before. Then every post after. Many women from the US. But even before that I noticed he would go a week or two without posting anything and then if he did he’d get only 6 or 7 likes. I really think he blocked me from most of his posts. He hung out on Instagram a lot, again never posting. Also if I asked about a girl or lady politely never suspicious he’d say oh some young girl. Nobody, but soon after you never saw her again. Many many profiles with the same name or slightly different spelling. A person who wasn’t him or no picture. When I wasn’t available or he just wanted to check on her, he would call my mother. So very sweet and polite. She was charmed. Also he always dealt these little snide comments. Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising. Once he told me to keep a happy man keep his belly full and his balls empty. He never spoke of sex for months which made me feel like he wasn’t interested. So the day he sent a “ candid selfie” he was completely man scaped. Strange for a guy who hadn’t really slept with many women. But asked me questions like did I wax myself, etc. Also he never mentions me in his posts, rarely comments on my posts, acts uninterested in things I send him. And none of his friends have sent friend requests. He had that he was in a relationship but otherwise it seemed like I was a secret. He said I don’t discuss my relationship we Muslims are private about our mates. Ohh yeah. When in Sousse it was ironic what bad internet they have. Writing this I feel so stupid. The only reason I believed him at all is the only thing he ever asked me for was a visit. Simple. I’d love to hear similarities or any comments. Both of his sisters friended me. They really are his sisters because they both shared photos of them growing up together. But other than that. Not much. Plus the ‘babe’ or ‘hon’. Felt weird from someone not exposed to a lot right? Anyway thanks in advance sisters~
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I’ve been a member here for sometime now. I continue to visit often. Sympathize and contemplate but still clap myself on the back for finding “the perfect guy” lol. We have been friends for probably two years. Met in a Facebook group. Then just started having longer discussions. This guy seemed to walk the walk he talked. He was well read. Often times we would read one another’s recommendations and the discuss the novel. Spoke near perfect English. Empathic but not overly, kind to everyone, almost won the election in his community. Never asked for money and always did what he was supposed to. But having a inquisitive and very suspicious mind after a time I noticed things that caused me to be somewhat concerned. I’d like to run this by you ladies. We used to talk through the night until 4 or 5am his time. He wasn’t working due to Covid so I didn’t mind keeping him up. But when he went to Sousse for his cousins wedding he just couldn’t find the time. Also he had to drive people around for money. Once to the capital all day. But no time to text hi. Other times at night he would say “babe I’m so sorry I’m to tired tonight. I’ll make it up tomorrow. Then I would notice girls posting hearts on his now nearly desolate Facebook posts. Girls/women that I had never seen before. Then every post after. Many women from the US. But even before that I noticed he would go a week or two without posting anything and then if he did he’d get only 6 or 7 likes. I really think he blocked me from most of his posts. He hung out on Instagram a lot, again never posting. Also if I asked about a girl or lady politely never suspicious he’d say oh some young girl. Nobody, but soon after you never saw her again. Many many profiles with the same name or slightly different spelling. A person who wasn’t him or no picture. When I wasn’t available or he just wanted to check on her, he would call my mother. So very sweet and polite. She was charmed. Also he always dealt these little snide comments. Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising. Once he told me to keep a happy man keep his belly full and his balls empty. He never spoke of sex for months which made me feel like he wasn’t interested. So the day he sent a “ candid selfie” he was completely man scaped. Strange for a guy who hadn’t really slept with many women. But asked me questions like did I wax myself, etc. Also he never mentions me in his posts, rarely comments on my posts, acts uninterested in things I send him. And none of his friends have sent friend requests. He had that he was in a relationship but otherwise it seemed like I was a secret. He said I don’t discuss my relationship we Muslims are private about our mates. Ohh yeah. When in Sousse it was ironic what bad internet they have. Writing this I feel so stupid. The only reason I believed him at all is the only thing he ever asked me for was a visit. Simple. I’d love to hear similarities or any comments. Both of his sisters friended me. They really are his sisters because they both shared photos of them growing up together. But other than that. Not much. Plus the ‘babe’ or ‘hon’. Felt weird from someone not exposed to a lot right? Anyway thanks in advance sisters~
Hi Nortont284 read through your earlier posts and I feel your anxiety and stress. All these different spellings from his name and other fbs or instgrams is not a good sign. Adding women and they then disappear when you question him about it. Going away and not contacting you. I think you know and you are seeing this man is not who he pretends to be. Create a fake fb or ask a trusted friend of you to add him. See what he does. Or dissappear yourself and don't answer him when he text you. But I think you know in your mind he is not a good man but a user now you have to convince your heart and that is the difficult part..... To let him go and block him. Stay strong sending hugs to you xxx
 
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nortont284

Well-Known Member
Hi Nortont284 read through your earlier posts and I feel your anxiety and stress. All these different spellings from his name and other fbs or instgrams is not a good sign. Adding women and they then disappear when you question him about it. Going away and not contacting you. I think you know and you are seeing this man is not who he pretends to be. Create a fake fb or ask a trusted friend of you to add him. See what he does. Or dissappear yourself and don't answer him when he text you. But I think you know in your mind he is not a good man but a user now you have to convince your heart and that is the difficult part..... To let him go and block him. Stay strong sending hugs to you xxx
❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I’ve been a member here for sometime now. I continue to visit often. Sympathize and contemplate but still clap myself on the back for finding “the perfect guy” lol. We have been friends for probably two years. Met in a Facebook group. Then just started having longer discussions. This guy seemed to walk the walk he talked. He was well read. Often times we would read one another’s recommendations and the discuss the novel. Spoke near perfect English. Empathic but not overly, kind to everyone, almost won the election in his community. Never asked for money and always did what he was supposed to. But having a inquisitive and very suspicious mind after a time I noticed things that caused me to be somewhat concerned. I’d like to run this by you ladies. We used to talk through the night until 4 or 5am his time. He wasn’t working due to Covid so I didn’t mind keeping him up. But when he went to Sousse for his cousins wedding he just couldn’t find the time. Also he had to drive people around for money. Once to the capital all day. But no time to text hi. Other times at night he would say “babe I’m so sorry I’m to tired tonight. I’ll make it up tomorrow. Then I would notice girls posting hearts on his now nearly desolate Facebook posts. Girls/women that I had never seen before. Then every post after. Many women from the US. But even before that I noticed he would go a week or two without posting anything and then if he did he’d get only 6 or 7 likes. I really think he blocked me from most of his posts. He hung out on Instagram a lot, again never posting. Also if I asked about a girl or lady politely never suspicious he’d say oh some young girl. Nobody, but soon after you never saw her again. Many many profiles with the same name or slightly different spelling. A person who wasn’t him or no picture. When I wasn’t available or he just wanted to check on her, he would call my mother. So very sweet and polite. She was charmed. Also he always dealt these little snide comments. Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising. Once he told me to keep a happy man keep his belly full and his balls empty. He never spoke of sex for months which made me feel like he wasn’t interested. So the day he sent a “ candid selfie” he was completely man scaped. Strange for a guy who hadn’t really slept with many women. But asked me questions like did I wax myself, etc. Also he never mentions me in his posts, rarely comments on my posts, acts uninterested in things I send him. And none of his friends have sent friend requests. He had that he was in a relationship but otherwise it seemed like I was a secret. He said I don’t discuss my relationship we Muslims are private about our mates. Ohh yeah. When in Sousse it was ironic what bad internet they have. Writing this I feel so stupid. The only reason I believed him at all is the only thing he ever asked me for was a visit. Simple. I’d love to hear similarities or any comments. Both of his sisters friended me. They really are his sisters because they both shared photos of them growing up together. But other than that. Not much. Plus the ‘babe’ or ‘hon’. Felt weird from someone not exposed to a lot right? Anyway thanks in advance sisters~
Yes does not sound good! Hope you move on
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
You have had your doubts for a long time now. Please trust your gut feeling and try to end things with him. Not easy I know, but you need to put yourself first. He doesn't treat you the way a decent man treats a woman. You deserve much better in life than him. Be strong xx
 

nortont284

Well-Known Member
Hi Nortont284 read through your earlier posts and I feel your anxiety and stress. All these different spellings from his name and other fbs or instgrams is not a good sign. Adding women and they then disappear when you question him about it. Going away and not contacting you. I think you know and you are seeing this man is not who he pretends to be. Create a fake fb or ask a trusted friend of you to add him. See what he does. Or dissappear yourself and don't answer him when he text you. But I think you know in your mind he is not a good man but a user now you have to convince your heart and that is the difficult part..... To let him go and block him. Stay strong sending hugs to you xxx
That’s the thing. I don’t have any trusted friends. I’ve been hurt for as far back as my childhood memory will go. It’s hard letting people in and very rarely men. The innocent act gets you. You feel heard and mostly it’s more of that than anything that I wanted. Someone to hear me to know I exist. But the doubting of your own judgement is horrible. You are sort of in this confusing limbo. I think more than anything it will feel like I’ve lost my only friend. If I had this to do over I wouldn’t. I believe if a man loves you and when he’s interested he will do things that make you feel secure. I never felt that. It’s easy to imagine people as you want them to be because deep down your soul has been craving that. But those kinds of details about me. To someone looking make me easy prey.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I say these things then feel guilty about talking bad about someone. But having women around that have been beautifully broken and seen it all helps. Honestly I believe I seek comfort mostly. I have absolutely no one to discuss this with. I appreciate eac
I say these things then feel guilty about talking bad about someone. But having women around that have been beautifully broken and seen it all helps. Honestly I believe I seek comfort mostly. I have absolutely no one to discuss this with. I appreciate each of you.
Don’t feel bad ! You are being honest about him the different accounts they all have so many different accounts on fb and Instagram to talk to all the different ladies I’m sure and I know how it was not having anyone to talk to about it because my friends if they knew would tell me how foolish I was but mine did ask for money so I hope you get this figured out and are able to cut him out of your life. We are here for you!
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
That’s the thing. I don’t have any trusted friends. I’ve been hurt for as far back as my childhood memory will go. It’s hard letting people in and very rarely men. The innocent act gets you. You feel heard and mostly it’s more of that than anything that I wanted. Someone to hear me to know I exist. But the doubting of your own judgement is horrible. You are sort of in this confusing limbo. I think more than anything it will feel like I’ve lost my only friend. If I had this to do over I wouldn’t. I believe if a man loves you and when he’s interested he will do things that make you feel secure. I never felt that. It’s easy to imagine people as you want them to be because deep down your soul has been craving that. But those kinds of details about me. To someone looking make me easy prey.
Hi you answered you own question. When a man loves you he will make you feel special and secure like you are the only one in the world for him. These rats say sweet words to make you feel wanted but it's a false sence of security. It is fake. He only wants money or a visa and you are the person he wants for this reason. Talking about his poor life to get to your heart and play on your feelings. We know it is painful to try leave him. Take it step by step. Each day try to talk less to him. We are here for you xxx
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
He seems like an immature piece of sh*t to me and a lying rat. He is keeping himself busy with a harem of other American ladies who probably send him money that’s why he is too tired to talk to you, he is entertaining others. I’m sure if you blocked him maybe he would try to look for you but he won’t spend much time of getting you back. As sad as it may seem it is good news for you, you feel uncomfortable and upset you need to get rid of his fake company.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
@nortont284

Firstly never feel silly - you aren't at all.

Secondly never feel guilty - you are allowed a voice and you are only telling things that are true.

Thirdly he is showing lots of signs of being a rat, sending you suggestive pictures, putting you down how DARE he say "Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising" !!!! WTF???

You do exist and you are important but to move on you need to love yourself, I am utterly disgusted at him - what a piece he is!

I am glad you feel comfortable opening up to us - you will find lots of support and you will realise you are not alone and there will always be someone to talk to no matter what time of day or night.

This is a huge and brave step you have taken.

Hugs

MH x
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
@nortont284

Firstly never feel silly - you aren't at all.

Secondly never feel guilty - you are allowed a voice and you are only telling things that are true.

Thirdly he is showing lots of signs of being a rat, sending you suggestive pictures, putting you down how DARE he say "Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising" !!!! WTF???

You do exist and you are important but to move on you need to love yourself, I am utterly disgusted at him - what a piece he is!

I am glad you feel comfortable opening up to us - you will find lots of support and you will realise you are not alone and there will always be someone to talk to no matter what time of day or night.

This is a huge and brave step you have taken.

Hugs

MH x
Agreed, also the minute a man starts insulting you, openly or otherwise, you nip things in the bud. Either pull him up on it or drop him like hot coal. It will get worse, and NO man (especially one that has sweet FA to offer) is worth it. Ever!
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
@nortont284

Firstly never feel silly - you aren't at all.

Secondly never feel guilty - you are allowed a voice and you are only telling things that are true.

Thirdly he is showing lots of signs of being a rat, sending you suggestive pictures, putting you down how DARE he say "Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising" !!!! WTF???

You do exist and you are important but to move on you need to love yourself, I am utterly disgusted at him - what a piece he is!

I am glad you feel comfortable opening up to us - you will find lots of support and you will realise you are not alone and there will always be someone to talk to no matter what time of day or night.

This is a huge and brave step you have taken.

Hugs

MH x
Agree strongly!

The minute someone disrespects you is when you should ditch them. When they get away with insulting you they will never have respect for you. He is not worth your time!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Agree strongly!

The minute someone disrespects you is when you should ditch them. When they get away with insulting you they will never have respect for you. He is not worth your time!
True this is as bad as mental abuse wanting to belittle you and make you feel less then. I imagine if you were with him it would probably turn into physical abuse... get rid of him!
 

Cydney

Major Ratslayer
I’ve been a member here for sometime now. I continue to visit often. Sympathize and contemplate but still clap myself on the back for finding “the perfect guy” lol. We have been friends for probably two years. Met in a Facebook group. Then just started having longer discussions. This guy seemed to walk the walk he talked. He was well read. Often times we would read one another’s recommendations and the discuss the novel. Spoke near perfect English. Empathic but not overly, kind to everyone, almost won the election in his community. Never asked for money and always did what he was supposed to. But having a inquisitive and very suspicious mind after a time I noticed things that caused me to be somewhat concerned. I’d like to run this by you ladies. We used to talk through the night until 4 or 5am his time. He wasn’t working due to Covid so I didn’t mind keeping him up. But when he went to Sousse for his cousins wedding he just couldn’t find the time. Also he had to drive people around for money. Once to the capital all day. But no time to text hi. Other times at night he would say “babe I’m so sorry I’m to tired tonight. I’ll make it up tomorrow. Then I would notice girls posting hearts on his now nearly desolate Facebook posts. Girls/women that I had never seen before. Then every post after. Many women from the US. But even before that I noticed he would go a week or two without posting anything and then if he did he’d get only 6 or 7 likes. I really think he blocked me from most of his posts. He hung out on Instagram a lot, again never posting. Also if I asked about a girl or lady politely never suspicious he’d say oh some young girl. Nobody, but soon after you never saw her again. Many many profiles with the same name or slightly different spelling. A person who wasn’t him or no picture. When I wasn’t available or he just wanted to check on her, he would call my mother. So very sweet and polite. She was charmed. Also he always dealt these little snide comments. Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising. Once he told me to keep a happy man keep his belly full and his balls empty. He never spoke of sex for months which made me feel like he wasn’t interested. So the day he sent a “ candid selfie” he was completely man scaped. Strange for a guy who hadn’t really slept with many women. But asked me questions like did I wax myself, etc. Also he never mentions me in his posts, rarely comments on my posts, acts uninterested in things I send him. And none of his friends have sent friend requests. He had that he was in a relationship but otherwise it seemed like I was a secret. He said I don’t discuss my relationship we Muslims are private about our mates. Ohh yeah. When in Sousse it was ironic what bad internet they have. Writing this I feel so stupid. The only reason I believed him at all is the only thing he ever asked me for was a visit. Simple. I’d love to hear similarities or any comments. Both of his sisters friended me. They really are his sisters because they both shared photos of them growing up together. But other than that. Not much. Plus the ‘babe’ or ‘hon’. Felt weird from someone not exposed to a lot right? Anyway thanks in advance sisters~
If he wasn't Tunisian and just a guy you met from far away enough to be "long distance" wouldnt you still find this all suspicious? I sure would. I could give him a pass on him not having much time or interest in texting you from the wedding. I mean he may be on the go and spending time with family and friends non-stop. But it sounds like this is not an exception.

I would also give him a pass on the manscaping. Muslim men typically keep things very tidy even when single.

The rest raises eyebrows. The light hearted insulting comments really caught my attention!

Rat or not, you dont need to be with someone who insults you and is not trustworthy. You seem like the sort of woman who deserves a LOT better than that!
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I’ve been a member here for sometime now. I continue to visit often. Sympathize and contemplate but still clap myself on the back for finding “the perfect guy” lol. We have been friends for probably two years. Met in a Facebook group. Then just started having longer discussions. This guy seemed to walk the walk he talked. He was well read. Often times we would read one another’s recommendations and the discuss the novel. Spoke near perfect English. Empathic but not overly, kind to everyone, almost won the election in his community. Never asked for money and always did what he was supposed to. But having a inquisitive and very suspicious mind after a time I noticed things that caused me to be somewhat concerned. I’d like to run this by you ladies. We used to talk through the night until 4 or 5am his time. He wasn’t working due to Covid so I didn’t mind keeping him up. But when he went to Sousse for his cousins wedding he just couldn’t find the time. Also he had to drive people around for money. Once to the capital all day. But no time to text hi. Other times at night he would say “babe I’m so sorry I’m to tired tonight. I’ll make it up tomorrow. Then I would notice girls posting hearts on his now nearly desolate Facebook posts. Girls/women that I had never seen before. Then every post after. Many women from the US. But even before that I noticed he would go a week or two without posting anything and then if he did he’d get only 6 or 7 likes. I really think he blocked me from most of his posts. He hung out on Instagram a lot, again never posting. Also if I asked about a girl or lady politely never suspicious he’d say oh some young girl. Nobody, but soon after you never saw her again. Many many profiles with the same name or slightly different spelling. A person who wasn’t him or no picture. When I wasn’t available or he just wanted to check on her, he would call my mother. So very sweet and polite. She was charmed. Also he always dealt these little snide comments. Babe you may be older physically but young at heart. You drive a Jeep? Aren’t those for real young women? You aren’t the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Grow your hair are you exercising. Once he told me to keep a happy man keep his belly full and his balls empty. He never spoke of sex for months which made me feel like he wasn’t interested. So the day he sent a “ candid selfie” he was completely man scaped. Strange for a guy who hadn’t really slept with many women. But asked me questions like did I wax myself, etc. Also he never mentions me in his posts, rarely comments on my posts, acts uninterested in things I send him. And none of his friends have sent friend requests. He had that he was in a relationship but otherwise it seemed like I was a secret. He said I don’t discuss my relationship we Muslims are private about our mates. Ohh yeah. When in Sousse it was ironic what bad internet they have. Writing this I feel so stupid. The only reason I believed him at all is the only thing he ever asked me for was a visit. Simple. I’d love to hear similarities or any comments. Both of his sisters friended me. They really are his sisters because they both shared photos of them growing up together. But other than that. Not much. Plus the ‘babe’ or ‘hon’. Felt weird from someone not exposed to a lot right? Anyway thanks in advance sisters~
About everything in the way he acts shows he’s not committed to you. You already have suspicions he talks with other women on line and from what you described, it sure looks like it. Still, even without all these signs, the snide remarks he makes are unacceptable from a man you say he loves you, in fact from anyone else for that matter. It’s demeaning and vindicative, there is nothing innocent. A man in love doesn’t say to his girlfriend that she’s not the prettiest girl he’s ever seen or that the car she drives is for younger women. The person who loves you is supposed to make you feel good and lift you up, not to make you feel stupid and put you down. If you’d call him out on it, he’d tell you that he’s joking and that you’re too sensitive. Don’t buy that. Imagine living with him and hearing constantly things like that, you’d be an emotional mess after a while. What is doing is damaging to your self esteem, which makes it easier for him to manipulate and gain more power over you. Don’t let him break your spirit. Nobody has the right to speak to someone else that way.
He couldn’t find time to call or text you when he was in Sousse for a wedding. Who knows what he was doing but he was probably up to no good. There is no reason for him not being able to text to, as you said, at least say hi.
There is nothing perfect about this guy, @nortont284. I hope you find the strength to let him go and not let him disrespect and use you. Be strong or this relationship will destroy you. Best wishes.
 
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Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
About everything in the way he acts shows he’s not committed to you. You already have suspicions he talks with other women on line and from what you described, it sure looks like it. Still, even without all these signs, the snide remarks he makes are unacceptable from a man you say he loves you, in fact from anyone else for that matter. It’s demeaning and vindicative, there is nothing innocent. A man in love doesn’t say to his girlfriend that she’s not the prettiest girl he’s ever seen or that the car she drives is for younger women. The person who loves you is supposed to make you feel good and lift you up, not to make you feel stupid and put you down. If you’d call him out on it, he’d tell you that he’s joking and that you’re too sensitive. Don’t buy that. Imagine living with him and hearing constantly things like that, you’d be an emotional mess after a while. What is doing is damaging to your self esteem, which makes it easier for him to manipulate and gain more power over you. Don’t let him break your spirit. Nobody has the right to speak to someone else that way.
He couldn’t find time to call or text you when he was in Sousse for a wedding. Who knows what he was doing but he was probably up to no good. There is no reason for him not being able to text to, as you said, at least say hi.
There is nothing perfect about this guy, @nortont284. I hope you find the strength to let him go and not let him disrespect and use you. Be strong or this relationship will destroy you. Best wishes.
Yes nip it in the bud!!
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
About everything in the way he acts shows he’s not committed to you. You already have suspicions he talks with other women on line and from what you described, it sure looks like it. Still, even without all these signs, the snide remarks he makes are unacceptable from a man you say he loves you, in fact from anyone else for that matter. It’s demeaning and vindicative, there is nothing innocent. A man in love doesn’t say to his girlfriend that she’s not the prettiest girl he’s ever seen or that the car she drives is for younger women. The person who loves you is supposed to make you feel good and lift you up, not to make you feel stupid and put you down. If you’d call him out on it, he’d tell you that he’s joking and that you’re too sensitive. Don’t buy that. Imagine living with him and hearing constantly things like that, you’d be an emotional mess after a while. What is doing is damaging to your self esteem, which makes it easier for him to manipulate and gain more power over you. Don’t let him break your spirit. Nobody has the right to speak to someone else that way.
He couldn’t find time to call or text you when he was in Sousse for a wedding. Who knows what he was doing but he was probably up to no good. There is no reason for him not being able to text to, as you said, at least say hi.
There is nothing perfect about this guy, @nortont284. I hope you find the strength to let him go and not let him disrespect and use you. Be strong or this relationship will destroy you. Best wishes.
Obviously they all use their phones to take pictures at weddings etc so I don’t believe his fake reasons. Also wedding parties is where they meet the innocent virgin cousins/prospective brides.
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
About everything in the way he acts shows he’s not committed to you. You already have suspicions he talks with other women on line and from what you described, it sure looks like it. Still, even without all these signs, the snide remarks he makes are unacceptable from a man you say he loves you, in fact from anyone else for that matter. It’s demeaning and vindicative, there is nothing innocent. A man in love doesn’t say to his girlfriend that she’s not the prettiest girl he’s ever seen or that the car she drives is for younger women. The person who loves you is supposed to make you feel good and lift you up, not to make you feel stupid and put you down. If you’d call him out on it, he’d tell you that he’s joking and that you’re too sensitive. Don’t buy that. Imagine living with him and hearing constantly things like that, you’d be an emotional mess after a while. What is doing is damaging to your self esteem, which makes it easier for him to manipulate and gain more power over you. Don’t let him break your spirit. Nobody has the right to speak to someone else that way.
He couldn’t find time to call or text you when he was in Sousse for a wedding. Who knows what he was doing but he was probably up to no good. There is no reason for him not being able to text to, as you said, at least say hi.
There is nothing perfect about this guy, @nortont284. I hope you find the strength to let him go and not let him disrespect and use you. Be strong or this relationship will destroy you. Best wishes.
I can't love this enough. Every point makes sense, what's the saying ....He didn't call because he didn't want to! What car does he drive or is it mostly on his mates Camel, cheeky f**k, sure he wouldn't want ferrying around in your car if is other option was the number 62 bus!!!!!!! Grrrr
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
@SouthernGirl ,hits the nail on the head ,all the time,,,To be blunt, to me hes a F""ing moron !!!,,How dare he mentally abuse a woman ..I bet when the rose coloured glasses come off ,you will see him as he is..One ugly pos..What right does he have to believe that women will just do what he wants ,he dosnt deserve somone as lovable as you .Tell him to @@@@ off...I wish there was an on off switch installed in our hearts ,,Would make life so much easier ,,,@nortont284 ,just keep posting and tel us all about your doubts ,,Offload on us ,,we listen and that helps when you need a friend who understands ,what your dealing with ,,Listen to your head for once,,sometimes it makes sense..xx
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
@SouthernGirl ,hits the nail on the head ,all the time,,,To be blunt, to me hes a F""ing moron !!!,,How dare he mentally abuse a woman ..I bet when the rose coloured glasses come off ,you will see him as he is..One ugly pos..What right does he have to believe that women will just do what he wants ,he dosnt deserve somone as lovable as you .Tell him to @@@@ off...I wish there was an on off switch installed in our hearts ,,Would make life so much easier ,,,@nortont284 ,just keep posting and tel us all about your doubts ,,Offload on us ,,we listen and that helps when you need a friend who understands ,what your dealing with ,,Listen to your head for once,,sometimes it makes sense..xx
Makes more sense then those lying stealing rats anytime!!!!
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
What car does he drive or is it mostly on his mates Camel,
@MH007 this is the kind of stuff that gets on my nerves. Exactly why causes like BLM are important, people throw around words because they think they’re funny not realising stereotypes of a race aren’t funny at all. I know a white European wouldn’t get it as they’re just ‘having a laugh’ but shit like this is backwards. People don’t ride camels around town, only the tourists. I’m all for this forum but damn. Also saw some comments above about him not speaking down to the lady who made this thread, absolutely don’t take disrespect from any man woman or creature in this earth, if he doesn’t think you’re the most amazing woman in the world kick him to the curb. It is completely normal for men to be busy in weddings ferrying everyone around though, they also help with the setting up and cleaning up too.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
@MH007 this is the kind of stuff that gets on my nerves. Exactly why causes like BLM are important, people throw around words because they think they’re funny not realising stereotypes of a race aren’t funny at all. I know a white European wouldn’t get it as they’re just ‘having a laugh’ but Shite like this is backwards. People don’t ride camels around town, only the tourists. I’m all for this forum but damn. Also saw some comments above about him not speaking down to the lady who made this thread, absolutely don’t take disrespect from any man woman or creature in this earth, if he doesn’t think you’re the most amazing woman in the world kick him to the curb. It is completely normal for men to be busy in weddings ferrying everyone around though, they also help with the setting up and cleaning up too.
Yeah ya know it’s kinda unusual for a rat to start off , I know they have been talking for a while but for him to say anything that might be offensive or hurt her feelings that usually happens down the line with the bad rats! Mine told me once I mean nothing to him! This was in the middle of the ending ! That was the rudest he got with me ! And I probably didn’t at that point because 2 months later is when I found the truth about him talking to another woman. So highly unusual
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
Yeah ya know it’s kinda unusual for a rat to start off , I know they have been talking for a while but for him to say anything that might be offensive or hurt her feelings that usually happens down the line with the bad rats! Mine told me once I mean nothing to him! This was in the middle of the ending ! That was the rudest he got with me ! And I probably didn’t at that point because 2 months later is when I found the truth about him talking to another woman. So highly unusual
It’s emotional abuse and just as bad as physical abuse, I hope she realises her worth. Sorry you went through that but happy you’ve come out the other side x
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
@MH007 this is the kind of stuff that gets on my nerves. Exactly why causes like BLM are important, people throw around words because they think they’re funny not realising stereotypes of a race aren’t funny at all. I know a white European wouldn’t get it as they’re just ‘having a laugh’ but Shite like this is backwards. People don’t ride camels around town, only the tourists. I’m all for this forum but damn. Also saw some comments above about him not speaking down to the lady who made this thread, absolutely don’t take disrespect from any man woman or creature in this earth, if he doesn’t think you’re the most amazing woman in the world kick him to the curb. It is completely normal for men to be busy in weddings ferrying everyone around though, they also help with the setting up and cleaning up too.
And ButterflyBee I’m sure it was said out of frustration when you start thinking about what they did , what we allowed them to do it just hits where it hurts so we may speak out in anger! And blm has nothing to do with black people it’s being backed by evil democrats!!!! They are hurting the black people if anything.. it’s crazy
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
And ButterflyBee I’m sure it was said out of frustration when you start thinking about what they did , what we allowed them to do it just hits where it hurts so we may speak out in anger! And blm has nothing to do with black people it’s being backed by evil democrats!!!! They are hurting the black people if anything.. it’s crazy
Yes I get people are frustrated but you’re missing the point. You can be frustrated without throwing about racial stereotypes. And yes I know about BLM, I was using an example. Regardless of who is behind BLM it has opened the conversations that need having and people are listening to each other and trying to understand why people of colour get triggered x
 
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