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Help needed Should I meet him and his family?

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
He lives with his family but his family recently got an apartment and all decorated. Currently being rented out, however once the time comes (e.g. if we decide to get married, it will be his). His family does own a couple of commercial units that they rent out to others.
His family recently got an apartment and all decorated, currently being rented out that's great that they acquired all these things not to be paranoid but you have to ask questions because you came to TLR questioning all you hear and have not see;n. and then in another statement you say when you get married it will be his, well why not the both of yours isn't property to be shared in the marriage contract??? Well if the family has all this residential and commercial units would they not want a Tunisian woman living in Tunisia for their son or maybe their plan is to add more to their wealth portfolio so their son can be seen as a catch for a Tunisian virgin. QUESTION EVERYTHING things look too good on the surface QUESTION EVERYTHING!!
So another thing is if they have all this wealth why is their son having to work in a clothing store???
Would they not want their son to manage their properties??
I mean empty spaces need to be filled in this story that makes no sense really.
If he married you, his family will work hard to get a property in the UK, and you know expand further and where is love in that equation??
 
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dasa

Major Ratslayer
1.

Visiting - I queried further abs they said, best to go to hotel and will try to discuss with my family as I made a deal how my family is important. They said, they will work with my family to make them happy too and show that they are a good person.
yes, very good persons who want to leave a foreign muslim woman in the home with her son
Staying in Tunisia - after discussing it with them, they did say if I 100% want to live there, I can and they will try hard to make it work even if it is a struggle.
The manipulation has already begun. They're already saying it's hard, but they're going to try. So they are already preparing you for the fact that it will not work out in order to later hold you financially responsible. They told you it was going to be hard.
Financially struggling - mentioned this to pick their brain. They told me to go and support my family first and that they will support me (even if he is unable to financially). Told me to look after my family and also look after my health and well-being.
Do you understand what they told you?

The children are responsible to support the parents and family. This is in her blood and also applies to her son.
They mentioned that they will wait for me and said to come to visit him and his family a few times to get to know each other before deciding if we still want to get married.

does this sound like a genuine person?
Again: you should come a few times. Who pays that? Of course you.

Where is the relationship on equal footing here?

They're laughing their heads off. The stupid European woman who keeps paying for flights to convince her parents how good people they are.
 

dasa

Major Ratslayer
If his family is really wealthy (which I don't think) then tell them you'll marry him and take him to Europe.

They should give you 10,000 euros for this. He has to get new clothes, has to learn the language, maybe won't find a job at first, an apartment has to be set up.

And in addition, he must sign a marriage contract, which he is not entitled to in the event of a divorce. In addition, the costs of the divorce must be fully borne.

If he and his family agree to this, get the money and the contract and try it
 

Mica

Administrator
Staff member
Unfortunately, you read very selectively.

You pick out the things for which you have an explanation and everything else is suppressed.

You want to believe in this love. It doesn't matter what we write here, you will do it.

You excuse his narcissistic behavior in front of the mirror with a healthy lifestyle.

It's not what he does, it's how he does it. And your love blinds you to see.

Please forget the question if he is a rat.Ask yourself if you want to marry a young man who just turned 22 and has no idea about life.

Love alone is not enough for a good relationship.

The rat problem is only added to that

Sadly it takes time. The things we are saying are so far from the reality she knows that much of it will sound very bizarre, unbelievable, and she will question it because she's never experience anything like it before.

I remember this well. It wasn't until months of living with him in tunisia that i started to notice my rat, himself, showing signs of this 'bizarreness'. Then it slowly started to dawn on me that what is written here is true and, apart from the bezness that was happening, there was also such a huge difference in culture and mentality.
 
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Mica

Administrator
Staff member
.And in addition, he must sign a marriage contract, which he is not entitled to in the event of a divorce. In addition, the costs of the divorce must be fully borne.

The Tunisian marriage contract is only valid in Tunisia. If they marry and go to the UK he will still be entitled to half of her assets there, in the event of divorce.
Before marriage they should also do a British contract to protect her assets in the UK.
 

dasa

Major Ratslayer
The Tunisian marriage contract is only valid in Tunisia. If they marry and go to the UK he will still be entitled to half of her assets there, in the event of divorce.
Before marriage they should also do a British contract to protect her assets in the UK.
Thanks for the clarification.

I meant, of course, a marriage contract that is valid in Wonderwoman's home country
 

Moonshine1

Major Ratslayer
He is 22 and she is 29! Too much of an age difference!
That age diffrence
Sadly it takes time. The things we are saying are so far from the reality she knows that much of it will sound very bizarre, unbelievable, and she will question it because she's never experience anything like it before.

I remember this well. It wasn't until months of living with him in tunisia that i started to notice my rat, himself, showing signs of this 'bizarreness'. Then it slowly started to dawn on me that what is written here is true and, apart from the bezness that was happening, there was also such a huge difference in culture and mentality.
Culture cruelty mental illness bizarre situation that they blame u for your tears they blame u for him arguing every day they blame u for the stress they put u under
They will blame you for absoultly everything !!!!
They show their true colours after a few years where the arguments they will cause will be over trivial things and he will not stop till you take responsibility for it all
He will refuse to admit his wrongs he will refuse to say sorry
And will sleep well without a care in the world for ur feelings leaving u in tears thinking wtf has just happened
Don't worry the rats sleep soundly at night no matter how abusive nasty theve been towards you its all your fault !!!!
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
Yeh, my rat took me to see his almost completed house by the beach (in person, not just a video), with promises we could live there when it was completed.

Except it wasn't his house, it belonged to the boss of a friend, and he just had the keys because he lived nearby and had to let workmen in periodically :rolleyes:
Yes and down the line all your dreams .he would of had u buying furniture .then fall out with us and sell it
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
Thank you everyone for your support , appreciate it. I have spoken with them more to ask some more questions based on suggestions here but in a subtle manner.

Visiting - I queried further abs they said, best to go to hotel and will try to discuss with my family as I made a deal how my family is important. They said, they will work with my family to make them happy too and show that they are a good person.

Staying in Tunisia - after discussing it with them, they did say if I 100% want to live there, I can and they will try hard to make it work even if it is a struggle.

Financially struggling - mentioned this to pick their brain. They told me to go and support my family first and that they will support me (even if he is unable to financially). Told me to look after my family and also look after my health and well-being. They mentioned that they will wait for me and said to come to visit him and his family a few times to get to know each other before deciding if we still want to get married.

does this sound like a genuine person?
of course .they sound lovely .all family come to see you .next time I come there all excited to see what you bring them still lovely .now your in the airport lover boy then hits u with bring vodka whiskey a tv absolute kitchen sink .there so nice .now go forward you been no forth so many times.then u find out all family in on it .heartbroken people do this yes .b it yourself a dog go holiday enjoy life don't turn the page of this chapter in your life .cos never a good ending x
 

March

Major Ratslayer
of course .they sound lovely .all family come to see you .next time I come there all excited to see what you bring them still lovely .now your in the airport lover boy then hits u with bring vodka whiskey a tv absolute kitchen sink .there so nice .now go forward you been no forth so many times.then u find out all family in on it .heartbroken people do this yes .b it yourself a dog go holiday enjoy life don't turn the page of this chapter in your life .cos never a good ending x
family, mom,dad sisters, brothers all play their roles, they say that they love you, they send kisses, they say you are beautiful .... they are all in a scam
 

Shaz001

Ratslayer
That is great let him treat you because ya see ours let us pay for everything and I do mean everything, I hope your guy turns out different..sounds like a good start. Just be careful:)
Omg Sabrina so you never had your hand out of your pocket too. I visited mine about 4 times and each time cost me a fortune. Even grocery shop for the family. I was shocked at that. Groceries were being scanned and I stepped back. They packed and nodded at me when the assistant said how much. Thing that is even more annoying is that they don't know how to say thanks!!!!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Omg Sabrina so you never had your hand out of your pocket too. I visited mine about 4 times and each time cost me a fortune. Even grocery shop for the family. I was shocked at that. Groceries were being scanned and I stepped back. They packed and nodded at me when the assistant said how much. Thing that is even more annoying is that they don't know how to say thanks!!!!
Oh of course not it’s expected:oops: I sent the money before I got there so he controlled it and we shopped for us only! But I’m sure the family got their share of money sent for this that and the other! Creeps
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Omg Sabrina so you never had your hand out of your pocket too. I visited mine about 4 times and each time cost me a fortune. Even grocery shop for the family. I was shocked at that. Groceries were being scanned and I stepped back. They packed and nodded at me when the assistant said how much. Thing that is even more annoying is that they don't know how to say thanks!!!!
They have no shame, I remember I used to give my rat money to pay taxi and meals so that it didn't look like I was bank rolling him!

Once we went out for a fairly expensive meal (in Tunisian standards) and when it came to paying he disappeared saying he had to quickly top up his phone :rolleyes: how convenient and looking back I now realise that the alarm on his phone was a reminder for him to call/text another of his victims plus obviously I picked up the bill - I never once received even one coffee paid for by him :mad:

MH x
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
They have no shame, I remember I used to give my rat money to pay taxi and meals so that it didn't look like I was bank rolling him!

Once we went out for a fairly expensive meal (in Tunisian standards) and when it came to paying he disappeared saying he had to quickly top up his phone :rolleyes: how convenient and looking back I now realise that the alarm on his phone was a reminder for him to call/text another of his victims plus obviously I picked up the bill - I never once received even one coffee paid for by him :mad:

MH x
Sounds about right! When I sent the money of course it looked like he was paying for all because he had it but once that was gone that was gonna be it because I was not about to charge anything or go to atm no way!
 

Wonderwoman

Well-Known Member
Thank you everyone on all your feedback and support. I have been digging and managed to get a background check into the guy (help from a friend) and the guy turns out not to have any criminal background or issues with their past. Managed to even get their family check too. It may seem harsh but it was for my personal peace of mind. Safe to say, the results came back good and nothing negative. Thank you again to everyone for all your support, feedback and advice, appreciate it.
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Thank you everyone on all your feedback and support. I have been digging and managed to get a background check into the guy (help from a friend) and the guy turns out not to have any criminal background or issues with their past. Managed to even get their family check too. It may seem harsh but it was for my personal peace of mind. Safe to say, the results came back good and nothing negative. Thank you again to everyone for all your support, feedback and advice, appreciate it.
The kid is only 22 years old though!
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
The kid is only 22 years old though!
yes he is too young yet to have a criminal record give him time haha and some crimes never get reported anyways in Tunisia especially if there is money to bribe
the police so there you go
But hey its your life, just keep in mind its a whole different mentality, once you are hooked into their trap then you will see.
But only you can decide that you will go there, we can only tell you our experiences
 
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Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Thank you everyone on all your feedback and support. I have been digging and managed to get a background check into the guy (help from a friend) and the guy turns out not to have any criminal background or issues with their past. Managed to even get their family check too. It may seem harsh but it was for my personal peace of mind. Safe to say, the results came back good and nothing negative. Thank you again to everyone for all your support, feedback and advice, appreciate it.
Hi @Wonderwoman you had a back ground check on a 22 year old man and his family. What did you expect to find?
Other women, criminal past?
There are several red flags in your story with this young man. He suggested to meet him at his parents house, your parents are against him and he knows it, you are 7 years older and last but not least you are Muslim to so in your mind you know how it all works.
The fact he came out "clean" with your background check doesn't men a lot. He is just good in hiding stuff or you are one of his first women he is trying to scam.
It is obviously your choice if you go further with it and I hope it all goes well but when it all goes wrong or you see more red flags we are here for you if you need more advice.
 
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Shaz001

Ratslayer
Arragont is the word im looking for and your right even if your same age you will still have to make descions for him give him spending money on a regular basis and pay for him everything you will absoulty tire off this the money will get larger amounts the gifts will be more than ever and the car apartment will be much more exspensive
They want every dina u have left
They are children trapped in a man's body !!!!
Take note please !!!
So true. Pay for everything and I mean everything. When I realised how stupid I was and addressed the constant asking for money, I was told that I should have treated him like a king and handed over all my spending money so he could pay for everything
 

Jane

Major Ratslayer
Thank you everyone on all your feedback and support. I have been digging and managed to get a background check into the guy (help from a friend) and the guy turns out not to have any criminal background or issues with their past. Managed to even get their family check too. It may seem harsh but it was for my personal peace of mind. Safe to say, the results came back good and nothing negative. Thank you again to everyone for all your support, feedback and advice, appreciate it.
This means absolutely zero . You think these rats have criminal records ? You think “ratters” is a crime in law ?
These are emotional “crimes” and would never ever be marked as an actual crime , especially in Tunisia , this i a country where police corruption is rife and actual serious crimes are often never investigated … and you think him being a scammer will be on his files ?
Forget that … listen to what people are telling you here ….
 

dasa

Major Ratslayer
Thank you everyone on all your feedback and support. I have been digging and managed to get a background check into the guy (help from a friend) and the guy turns out not to have any criminal background or issues with their past. Managed to even get their family check too. It may seem harsh but it was for my personal peace of mind. Safe to say, the results came back good and nothing negative. Thank you again to everyone for all your support, feedback and advice, appreciate it.
Hi, unfortunately you have brought yourself into a false sense of security. with the check (which didn't work like in Europe because everything can be cleaned there with money) you might want to rule out robbery, drugs, murder, etc.

I guess you don't even care if he took advantage of other women because it's different with you two. You have something so special

Like I said, it's your life and your choice. And it doesn't matter if he's a rat or not. At 22 and with this cultural difference, you don't have a chance to last. But maybe 2 or 3 nice years are worth it to you.
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
So true. Pay for everything and I mean everything. When I realised how stupid I was and addressed the constant asking for money, I was told that I should have treated him like a king and handed over all my spending money so he could pay for everything
You know @Shaz001 this is so true about the handing over ALL your spending money part!!
But its not just spending money they want its all your money even the money you pay for living expenses, my rat was laughing and grinning ear to ear of the thought he could send all to his rat family if he got to Canada.
They are jealous of the money you spend on yourself LOL
Unfortuately for the rat he has no luck LOL
My ex-rat's objective was to come to Canada and think he could send all money back to Tunisia to Mommy and Daddy Rat not knowing that there is a 2 year waiting period in which he can't work, and that I would work like a slave just to send money to this rat's family and what have no money for rent, hydro, taxes no it doesn't work like that.
Anyways Canada has a system where a visa is granted on education, travel history and many other factors, the rat would never qualify.
If living in Tunisia living with a rat they tell you let's get married build a house or extend a house on my family's lot, you will have a share so you think giving and giving will help build equity but then in the end
when they sell it all goes to the parents of the rat, I almost fell in this trap myself. Thank god for the advice of members on here.
The rat's words mean nothing, even contracts can be misinterpreted or changed to suit the rat's family, I would rather give to a good cause then throw my money
away on these parasitical creatures and their families but charity begins in one's own home give the love to yourself first please don't waste it on people who you have no idea about, people change when they get what they want.
Off topic a little bit but the spending part with the rats you talked about @Shaz001 really gives me rage about the rats.
Sorry about the rant
 
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Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
You know @Shaz001 this is so true about the handing over ALL your spending money part!!
But its not just spending money they want its all your money even the money you pay for living expenses, my rat was laughing and grinning ear to ear of the thought he could send all to his rat family if he got to Canada.
They are jealous of the money you spend on yourself LOL
Unfortuately for the rat he has no luck LOL
My ex-rat's objective was to come to Canada and think he could send all money back to Tunisia to Mommy and Daddy Rat not knowing that there is a 2 year waiting period in which he can't work, and that I would work like a slave just to send money to this rat's family and what have no money for rent, hydro, taxes no it doesn't work like that.
Anyways Canada has a system where a visa is granted on education, travel history and many other factors, the rat would never qualify.
If living in Tunisia living with a rat they tell you let's get married build a house or extend a house on my family's lot, you will have a share so you think giving and giving will help build equity but then in the end
when they sell it all goes to the parents of the rat, I almost fell in this trap myself. Thank god for the advice of members on here.
The rat's words mean nothing, even contracts can be misinterpreted or changed to suit the rat's family, I would rather give to a good cause then throw my money
away on these parasitical creatures and their families but charity begins in one's own home give the love to yourself first please don't waste it on people who you have no idea about, people change when they get what they want.
Off topic a little bit but the spending part with the rats you talked about @Shaz001 really gives me rage about the rats.
Sorry about the rant
You can rant as much as you feel the need for it @yougogirl75 it takes time to get the angry feelings out of your system
You are a free strong woman now and your rat is a bad memory who deserves the life he is living now. He's a waste of space

Yvonne xx
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
.
They are jealous of the money you spend on yourself LOL
Never were there truer words spoken!

They can't bare you spending your money on YOU As soon as it comes up in convo they try to guilt trip you into flying over. Mine could barely conceal his jealousy at my online shopping purchases.
@Wonderwoman I was completely open to believing mine was different but sadly rats are in general vain,greedy, entitled, selfish and calculated.
You will do what you want to as I did but lots of sound advice has been given so do it as safe as you can x
 
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