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Someone please help me! I need advice

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
Hello, I can't believe I'm even writing this,
I am a 25 years old, i am an attractive girl and i could easily date somone who lives in my city but I have been talking to a 28 year old tunisian guy since November, we met on Instagram we have similar interests , same taste in music, both enjoy running, we run every day and compare how we did on the running app we have, and from what I can tell similar personalities. His Instagram is genuine, he has lots of pictures of him out with friends and at festivals, ive seen his facebook and it says single, he has a job in a factory, we have video called on what's app lots of times and we speak everyday and into the early hours of the morning, we both like to travel and he has asked if I would like to meet in Turkey for a holiday, I'm unsure what to do, we are both romantically attracted to each other, I have become very attached to him and he has admitted he has strong feelings for me. We spoke about how a long distance relationship would work and he said he would move to the UK, I asked him out right if he was using me for a visa because why else would he be interested in somone far away and he said he understands why it must come across like that but if things progresed with us he is happy if I moved to Tunisia, should I meet him in Turkey?
I am sensible and would be staying in istanbul in my own hotel. I just feel like I need to meet him to see if this is real.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Hello, I can't believe I'm even writing this,
I am a 25 years old, i am an attractive girl and i could easily date somone who lives in my city but I have been talking to a 28 year old tunisian guy since November, we met on Instagram we have similar interests , same taste in music, both enjoy running, we run every day and compare how we did on the running app we have, and from what I can tell similar personalities. His Instagram is genuine, he has lots of pictures of him out with friends and at festivals, ive seen his facebook and it says single, he has a job in a factory, we have video called on what's app lots of times and we speak everyday and into the early hours of the morning, we both like to travel and he has asked if I would like to meet in Turkey for a holiday, I'm unsure what to do, we are both romantically attracted to each other, I have become very attached to him and he has admitted he has strong feelings for me. We spoke about how a long distance relationship would work and he said he would move to the UK, I asked him out right if he was using me for a visa because why else would he be interested in somone far away and he said he understands why it must come across like that but if things progresed with us he is happy if I moved to Tunisia, should I meet him in Turkey?
I am sensible and would be staying in istanbul in my own hotel. I just feel like I need to meet him to see if this is real.
Hi @Jasmine08. welcome here at the forum, he could be real he could be a rat. The fact you met online is not really good as genuine tunisian men don't search for "love" online. Wanting to come to the UK when the relationship evolves, then he needs a visa. Ofcourse he is not telling you he is using you for a visa? Why would he say it and give away his game? Attracted to eachother is one thing but having an online or long distance relationship is another thing. Why doesn't he want to meet in tunisia? Why turkey? Keep your purse closed and your eyes open and be careful
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
Hi @Jasmine08. welcome here at the forum, he could be real he could be a rat. The fact you met online is not really good as genuine tunisian men don't search for "love" online. Wanting to come to the UK when the relationship evolves, then he needs a visa. Ofcourse he is not telling you he is using you for a visa? Why would he say it and give away his game? Attracted to eachother is one thing but having an online or long distance relationship is another thing. Why doesn't he want to meet in tunisia? Why turkey? Keep your purse closed and your eyes open and be careful
We decided on Turkey as we both wanted a holiday and Istanbul is somewhere neither of us have been before, I feel safer meeting him here for the first time than in Tunisia as I have family in Turkey
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
We decided on Turkey as we both wanted a holiday and Istanbul is somewhere neither of us have been before, I feel safer meeting him here for the first time than in Tunisia as I have family in Turkey
Are you Muslim? You have family in turkey so you know they are stricter in meeting outside the marriage I hope you are not planning to stay together in a hotel or apartment?
 

Nameless

Well-Known Member
Hello, I can't believe I'm even writing this,
I am a 25 years old, i am an attractive girl and i could easily date somone who lives in my city but I have been talking to a 28 year old tunisian guy since November, we met on Instagram we have similar interests , same taste in music, both enjoy running, we run every day and compare how we did on the running app we have, and from what I can tell similar personalities. His Instagram is genuine, he has lots of pictures of him out with friends and at festivals, ive seen his facebook and it says single, he has a job in a factory, we have video called on what's app lots of times and we speak everyday and into the early hours of the morning, we both like to travel and he has asked if I would like to meet in Turkey for a holiday, I'm unsure what to do, we are both romantically attracted to each other, I have become very attached to him and he has admitted he has strong feelings for me. We spoke about how a long distance relationship would work and he said he would move to the UK, I asked him out right if he was using me for a visa because why else would he be interested in somone far away and he said he understands why it must come across like that but if things progresed with us he is happy if I moved to Tunisia, should I meet him in Turkey?
I am sensible and would be staying in istanbul in my own hotel. I just feel like I need to meet him to see if this is real.
Hi @Jasmine08 welcome x
I understand that guys slide into girls dm’s these days to date, but it is concerning that a Tunisian would reach out to someone from another country. The reason being is that the relationship would be long distance until he came to the UK, as let’s be realistic brits don’t really move to live in Tunisia. It is a different way of living compared to here. My concern is that he’s already discussed progressing the relationship between you both & suggesting he would move to the UK. For him to come to the UK you would have to marry, then apply for a spouse visa etc. Of course you outing him by asking is a visa all he is after he would tell you what you want to hear, by saying come & live with me instead. You said you both like to travel, may I ask where he’s travelled to? As most Tunisian’s don’t leave Tunisia unless they are well off, had previous visas or work in Turkey. Also why does he want to meet in Turkey & not Tunisia? Unfortunately I can’t tell you what to do, but I can advise you from my experience. But if you do meet him, you will only fall deeper. Give it some more time to get to know him x
 
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Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
Hi @Jasmine08 welcome x
I understand that guys slide into girls dm’s these days to date, but it is concerning that a Tunisian would reach out to someone from another country. The reason being is that the relationship would be long distance until he came to the UK, as let’s be realistic brits don’t really move to live in Tunisia. It is a different way of living compared to here. My concern is that he’s already discussed progressing the relationship between you & suggesting he would move to the UK. For him to come to the UK you would have to marry, then apply for a spouse visa etc. Of course you outing him by asking is a visa all he is after he would tell you want you want to hear, by saying come & live with me instead. You said you both like to travel, may I ask where he’s travelled to? As most Tunisian’s don’t leave Tunisia unless they are well off, had previous visas or work in Turkey. Also why does he want to meet in Turkey & not Tunisia? Unfortunately I can’t tell you what to do, but I can advise you from my experience. But if you do meet him, you will only fall deeper. Give it some more time to get to know him x
Because I have family in Turkey and I feel safer meeting him here first than In Tunisia, thank you for your reply, I know you are right when you say I'll only fall deeper when I meet him.
 

Myriam1

Major Ratslayer
Hi Jasmine, welcome here!
What's the use of meeting this guy in Turkey? As you will both be on holidays, of course you will get along very well and you'll come back totally smithen...he has already done the preparation work on your mind.
I tell you straight away, cut off all ties with this man, no trust, no real love. He wants papers to Europe.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Some hotels only accept married and others don't mind, in tourist destinations hotels will accept unmarried couples without any issues.
I would be scared meeting a man you only know from the internet and then stay together he can pretend to be nice but you really don't know him? What if it doesn't work out or you don't like him? There are stories of women who where kidnapped or locked in their room. Be careful plse
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Some hotels only accept married and others don't mind, in tourist destinations hotels will accept unmarried couples without any issues.
So you are already planning on staying together when you meet? They all seem genuine ask any lady here, and they are pretty patient, mine wasn’t but some of them are unbelievably patient to get what they want. You’ve come to the right place for advice even though you may not want to hear what we say. Yeah I don’t think you would want to move to Tunisia, and I’m anxious to hear where he has traveled??
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
So you are already planning on staying together when you meet? They all seem genuine ask any lady here, and they are pretty patient, mine wasn’t but some of them are unbelievably patient to get what they want. You’ve come to the right place for advice even though you may not want to hear what we say. Yeah I don’t think you would want to move to Tunisia, and I’m anxious to hear where he has traveled??
I can't believe I've got myself into a situation like this, I feel so stupid I have feelings for someone very never met before, hes been to turkey, serbia, Morocco. Hes never asked me for money, or mentioned difficulties with money, when we have spoke about holidays he is willing to book things himself
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
Hello, I can't believe I'm even writing this,
I am a 25 years old, i am an attractive girl and i could easily date somone who lives in my city but I have been talking to a 28 year old tunisian guy since November, we met on Instagram we have similar interests , same taste in music, both enjoy running, we run every day and compare how we did on the running app we have, and from what I can tell similar personalities. His Instagram is genuine, he has lots of pictures of him out with friends and at festivals, ive seen his facebook and it says single, he has a job in a factory, we have video called on what's app lots of times and we speak everyday and into the early hours of the morning, we both like to travel and he has asked if I would like to meet in Turkey for a holiday, I'm unsure what to do, we are both romantically attracted to each other, I have become very attached to him and he has admitted he has strong feelings for me. We spoke about how a long distance relationship would work and he said he would move to the UK, I asked him out right if he was using me for a visa because why else would he be interested in somone far away and he said he understands why it must come across like that but if things progresed with us he is happy if I moved to Tunisia, should I meet him in Turkey?
I am sensible and would be staying in istanbul in my own hotel. I just feel like I need to meet him to see if this is real.
Can I just add he has never asked me for money, he's never mentioned difficulties with money, and when we talk about holidays he has never expected me to pay.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I can't believe I've got myself into a situation like this, I feel so stupid I have feelings for someone very never met before, hes been to turkey, serbia, Morocco. Hes never asked me for money, or mentioned difficulties with money, when we have spoke about holidays he is willing to book things himself
You are not stupid these men are professionnel into making you believe that they are genuine interested in you. These countries he went to are easy acces for him no visa needed. Did it ever come up in your conversations why he was there? Maybe to meet a woman there?
 

Shirleyglen

Rat Expert
A no go. You seems to be Muslims themselves. Then you should know, what you are upt to. Is haram. When you are on this page, you have doubts. So they are not well either. Keep your hands off it, you will go out heartbroken. Its all about visa. They are masters at flattering and lying.
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
You are not stupid these men are professionnel into making you believe that they are genuine interested in you. These countries he went to are easy acces for him no visa needed. Did it ever come up in your conversations why he was there? Maybe to meet a woman there?
He went to Serbia for exit festival and Morocco for oasis festival I believe this because I've seen it on his Instagram we both like this music, and Turkey was a trip with his friends. I deep down feel like he's developed feelings for me because he said he doesn't want me wearing a bikini on holiday he doesn't want people looking at my body and he's gotten jealous when I've spoken about an ex boyfriend.
 

Nameless

Well-Known Member
I can't believe I've got myself into a situation like this, I feel so stupid I have feelings for someone very never met before, hes been to turkey, serbia, Morocco. Hes never asked me for money, or mentioned difficulties with money, when we have spoke about holidays he is willing to book things himself
@Jasmine08 don’t feel stupid hun, your not the first & unfortunately won’t be the last. We’ve all had similar experiences & majority of them don’t turn out well. Your either on this website to share, advise or because you have doubt! These destinations he’s been to, he’s allowed to travel to without a visa as long as he provides a return ticket & proof of money for the duration. But I would be concerned of how or where he got the money from to do so & there could always be that possibility of who with. Unfortunately their not all like the typical type who ask you for money, mine never did from experience. You need to be very cautious! At least you can bide yourself more time for now due to the covid travel restrictions. But my advice to you would be to nip it in the bud now before you get more attached, as you said your young & believe me you have the rest of your life ahead of you x
 
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Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
@Jasmine08 don’t feel stupid hun, your not the first & unfortunately won’t be the last. We’ve all had similar experiences & majority of them don’t turn out well. Your either on this website to share, advise or because you have doubt! These destinations he’s been to, he’s allowed to travel to without a visa as long as he provides a return ticket & proof of money for the duration. But I would be concerned of how or where he got the money from to do so & there could always be that possibility of who with. Unfortunately their not all like the typical type who ask you for money, mine never did from experience. You need to be very cautious! At least you can bide yourself more time for now due to the covid travel restrictions. But my advice to you would be to nip it in the bud now before you get more attached, as you said your young & believe me you have the rest of your life ahead of you x
Thank you x
Can I ask what happened with you?
How did you meet was it online?
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I can't believe I've got myself into a situation like this, I feel so stupid I have feelings for someone very never met before, hes been to turkey, serbia, Morocco. Hes never asked me for money, or mentioned difficulties with money, when we have spoke about holidays he is willing to book things himself
These are the only places we’ll 3 of them that they can go without a visa he needs you for visa to Uk.... he may be genuine????? But it’s catch 20/20 moving forward.... @Nameless I s a good thread to read, not t sure if money was an issue or a sign while he was courting her or not. And I just saw her post he didn’t ask her for money either!! Careful!!
Thanks, my feelings are so strong that my stomach is in knots, this is not a healthy feeling to have for someone so far away.
Mine always felt that way :mad:still does when he contacts me
 
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Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
He went to Serbia for exit festival and Morocco for oasis festival I believe this because I've seen it on his Instagram we both like this music, and Turkey was a trip with his friends. I deep down feel like he's developed feelings for me because he said he doesn't want me wearing a bikini on holiday he doesn't want people looking at my body and he's gotten jealous when I've spoken about an ex boyfriend.
Did you do a search on Facebook or other social media on his name? Most of them have more then 1 acount. Ask a trusted friend to do a search as maybe you are blocked from the other acounts
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I can't believe I've got myself into a situation like this, I feel so stupid I have feelings for someone very never met before, hes been to turkey, serbia, Morocco. Hes never asked me for money, or mentioned difficulties with money, when we have spoke about holidays he is willing to book things himself
Majority of us have started the same way don’t feel stupid..only when they win then you will feel stupid, they can be controlling so careful about the jealousy act
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
Did you do a search on Facebook or other social media on his name? Most of them have more then 1 acount. Ask a trusted friend to do a search as maybe you are blocked from the other acounts
Yes I've done the search on Facebook and his facebook is genuine all his friends are tagged in his photos, he is single, his job is on there, I've also searched for him using my other facebook account the one he doesn't know about, again only 1 facebook showed up, he has asked me not to wear bikini, he doesn't want me to drink alcohol, he doesn't like me talking about other men. One thing is he finds it difficult to talk about sex, he becomes shy, I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing, he says he wants to share a bed with me but he gets shy going into details , I think he may be a virgin.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Yes I've done the search on Facebook and his facebook is genuine all his friends are tagged in his photos, he is single, his job is on there, I've also searched for him using my other facebook account the one he doesn't know about, again only 1 facebook showed up, he has asked me not to wear bikini, he doesn't want me to drink alcohol, he doesn't like me talking about other men. One thing is he finds it difficult to talk about sex, he becomes shy, I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing, he says he wants to share a bed with me but he gets shy going into details , I think he may be a virgin.
Being shy about sex can be a good thing but I doubt he is a 28y old virgin. It seems to me you are Muslim as well so I want to ask you are you used to wearing western clothes or are you dressed as a more modest Muslim woman and not used to wearing a bikini, why does he want you to change the way you go to a beach ? Does your family or friends know you want to meet a complete stranger and stay with him in a hotel?
 
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Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
Being shy about sex can be a good thing but I doubt he is a 28y old virgin. It seems to me you are Muslim as well so I want to ask you are you used to wearing western clothes or are you dressed as a more modest Muslim woman? Does your family or friends know you want to meet a complete stranger and stay with him in a hotel?
Yes, I wear western clothing but i dress modest, I do not show cleavage and I do not show my thighs he likes this but I still wear fashionable western clothing. My family and friends know nothing about this and I don't feel comfortable telling them I am thinking of meeting a stranger in another country. I feel like I have nobody to talk to and I'm very confused, I think about meeting him all the time, I'm very attracted to him. I feel stupid, I'm young and attractive in could meet somone else but I don't want to :(
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
These are the only places we’ll 3 of them that they can go without a visa he needs you for visa to Uk.... he may be genuine????? But it’s catch 20/20 moving forward.... @Nameless I s a good thread to read, not t sure if money was an issue or a sign while he was courting her or not. And I just saw her post he didn’t ask her for money either!! Careful!!

Mine always felt that way :mad:still does when he contacts me
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Yes, I wear western clothing but i dress modest, I do not show cleavage and I do not show my thighs he likes this but I still wear fashionable western clothing. My family and friends know nothing about this and I don't feel comfortable telling them I am thinking of meeting a stranger in another country. I feel like I have nobody to talk to and I'm very confused, I think about meeting him all the time, I'm very attracted to him. I feel stupid, I'm young and attractive in could meet somone else but I don't want to :(
He sounds controlling which to me is a bad sign! And the fact nobody knows about him none of my family or friends knew about him til I was going over then I told very few! Because I knew the backlash, another sign but I feel like you will not be happy til you meet him I don’t think anyone could’ve kept me from going
 
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