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Someone please help me! I need advice

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
Yes maybe he is preparing himself to ask for money, It would be easier for me if he just came out and asked for money so I would have a good reason to block and delete him.

it doesn't work this way, unfortunately. By the time he asks for money, you'll be in love. Rat or no rat... I think we've all stayed with men longer than we should have, done things we wouldn't have... because we really loved them. We always want to see the best in people and as empaths we can't comprehend that someone could be so cruel and devious.
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
As for the sex part, men are very hypocritical in this regard especially from ‘traditional’ countries.
There are two categories of women, those they marry and those with whom they have sex.
He may as well be very decent and respectful with you if he considers you as the prospective mother of his children while in the mean time he could visit prostitutes or send nudes to b*tches online. I am not saying your sweetheart does but this isn’t surprising of them at all.
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
As for the sex part, men are very hypocritical in this regard especially from ‘traditional’ countries.
There are two categories of women, those they marry and those with whom they have sex.
He may as well be very decent and respectful with you if he considers you as the prospective mother of his children while in the mean time he could visit prostitutes or send nudes to b*tches online. I am not saying your sweetheart does but this isn’t surprising of them at all.

Yes, perfectly explained. The woman he marries he will respect and hold in a higher regard. He will not sleep with her prior to marriage. She is expected to behave a certain way. But, he will have no issue going to what they so annoyingly call "bitches" Some of these men have beautiful wives, good wives... but its all about their need to sleep with multiple women.
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
This is something I have thought about, maybe he has someone he has sex with local to him or sends nudes and rude texts to.
He has said to me that when I meet him for real If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me, he has also said he would only have sex with me when I fully commit to him, he will only do it when we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't take any of this too serious as it could be rat talk,
He mentioned once he was in his overdraft but had savings, he has not mentioned anything like this again, I think was he was trying to see what my reaction was Because now he's telling me he also has properties he rents out!! Lies!?? I just don't know what to believe, I am analysing everything but I guess it's good I am going in with my eyes open. He keeps saying he wants to be like my father which I find at times odd and pervy but also a little sweet. I have been trying to message him less but I get sucked In!!! How can a relationship like this even work! What's the point ! We are so far away! And I read all these horror stories about the lies, I sometimes just want to block and delete but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm crazy for having these feelings for someone I've not met before.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
This is something I have thought about, maybe he has someone he has sex with local to him or sends nudes and rude texts to.
He has said to me that when I meet him for real If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me, he has also said he would only have sex with me when I fully commit to him, he will only do it when we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't take any of this too serious as it could be rat talk,
He mentioned once he was in his overdraft but had savings, he has not mentioned anything like this again, I think was he was trying to see what my reaction was Because now he's telling me he also has properties he rents out!! Lies!?? I just don't know what to believe, I am analysing everything but I guess it's good I am going in with my eyes open. He keeps saying he wants to be like my father which I find at times odd and pervy but also a little sweet. I have been trying to message him less but I get sucked In!!! How can a relationship like this even work! What's the point ! We are so far away! And I read all these horror stories about the lies, I sometimes just want to block and delete but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm crazy for having these feelings for someone I've not met before.
They have a way of drawing you in and getting involved, attached don’t feel crazy and as far as the long distance relationship yes it’s very hard in itself then there are the trust issues being so far away you just have what he tells you, believe it or not??? If he has property he’s renting why is he in overdraft or even worrying about his employer paying him less sounds a little strange! And the boyfriend and girlfriend thing are you supposed to determine this over the phone ? I know me and mine did that’s the only reason I went to see him. I would not have spent all that money just to go see a friend I’ve never met, unless he paid for it all. The father thing hmmmmm
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me,
Oh my gosh, seriously, who says that? I’m sorry, Jasmine, this guy is either full of it or very immature. Or both. I think you’re wasting your time and worse, you’re running the risk to get in trouble if you keep talking to him and getting more attached. He talks like players do.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
This is something I have thought about, maybe he has someone he has sex with local to him or sends nudes and rude texts to.
He has said to me that when I meet him for real If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me, he has also said he would only have sex with me when I fully commit to him, he will only do it when we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't take any of this too serious as it could be rat talk,
He mentioned once he was in his overdraft but had savings, he has not mentioned anything like this again, I think was he was trying to see what my reaction was Because now he's telling me he also has properties he rents out!! Lies!?? I just don't know what to believe, I am analysing everything but I guess it's good I am going in with my eyes open. He keeps saying he wants to be like my father which I find at times odd and pervy but also a little sweet. I have been trying to message him less but I get sucked In!!! How can a relationship like this even work! What's the point ! We are so far away! And I read all these horror stories about the lies, I sometimes just want to block and delete but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm crazy for having these feelings for someone I've not met before.
I think your gut feeling is telling you something isn't quite right in his behavior and yes there are signs he could be a rat. He can have easy acces to girls there to have sex with and you will never know and he will certainly not tell you, it's not because it's a Muslim country he is without sex. Or is he telling you he is a virgin? Wanting to be like your dad is something he picked up in your conversation with him and he will know that. It's not crazy you are getting feelings to him it's their intentions you are getting hooked to them and waiting by your fone. It's addicting to talk to him as you are falling in love with the image he is creating. Does your family or your friends know and what are they thinking of it that you are meeting a stranger you met on the internet. Or is he a secret as your gut tells you to be careful?
 

shygurl72

Ratslayer
This is something I have thought about, maybe he has someone he has sex with local to him or sends nudes and rude texts to.
He has said to me that when I meet him for real If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me, he has also said he would only have sex with me when I fully commit to him, he will only do it when we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't take any of this too serious as it could be rat talk,
He mentioned once he was in his overdraft but had savings, he has not mentioned anything like this again, I think was he was trying to see what my reaction was Because now he's telling me he also has properties he rents out!! Lies!?? I just don't know what to believe, I am analysing everything but I guess it's good I am going in with my eyes open. He keeps saying he wants to be like my father which I find at times odd and pervy but also a little sweet. I have been trying to message him less but I get sucked In!!! How can a relationship like this even work! What's the point ! We are so far away! And I read all these horror stories about the lies, I sometimes just want to block and delete but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm crazy for having these feelings for someone I've not met before.
I find it strange that he talks about being in overdraft when 99.99% of these men don't have bank accounts or credit cards... most people there only deal in cash..... just my 2 cents...
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
I find it strange that he talks about being in overdraft when 99.99% of these men don't have bank accounts or credit cards... most people there only deal in cash..... just my 2 cents...
Actually I was thinking the same thing....my rat had never heard of an overdraft until I explained to him what it was. My rat also told me it was not common for young men or women to have a bank account and if you did have a bank account it meant that you or family has a lot of money. Just my two cents too ♡
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
Hello, I can't believe I'm even writing this,
I am a 25 years old, i am an attractive girl and i could easily date somone who lives in my city but I have been talking to a 28 year old tunisian guy since November, we met on Instagram we have similar interests , same taste in music, both enjoy running, we run every day and compare how we did on the running app we have, and from what I can tell similar personalities. His Instagram is genuine, he has lots of pictures of him out with friends and at festivals, ive seen his facebook and it says single, he has a job in a factory, we have video called on what's app lots of times and we speak everyday and into the early hours of the morning, we both like to travel and he has asked if I would like to meet in Turkey for a holiday, I'm unsure what to do, we are both romantically attracted to each other, I have become very attached to him and he has admitted he has strong feelings for me. We spoke about how a long distance relationship would work and he said he would move to the UK, I asked him out right if he was using me for a visa because why else would he be interested in somone far away and he said he understands why it must come across like that but if things progresed with us he is happy if I moved to Tunisia, should I meet him in Turkey?
I am sensible and would be staying in istanbul in my own hotel. I just feel like I need to meet him to see if this is real.
U asked outright if he was useing u for visa well he is bound to say no only time will tell and why turkey for ur first visit why not tunisia !!! Thats your first red flag who will pay flights hotel / apartment expenses car will he expect gifts
Who will pay his flights his hotel his exspenses theres too much here to even have trust
A meeting first time is with parents and tunisia not another country red big red flags sorry to say this
 

Starlight

Major Ratslayer
I find it strange that he talks about being in overdraft when 99.99% of these men don't have bank accounts or credit cards... most people there only deal in cash..... just my 2 cents...
He is lieing my rat had a bank account and never had no money in it hes trying to say come to turkey pay off my pretending overdraft and pay my expenses hes not asking u directly to pay but asking in a way that u offer crafty rats way
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
This is something I have thought about, maybe he has someone he has sex with local to him or sends nudes and rude texts to.
He has said to me that when I meet him for real If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me, he has also said he would only have sex with me when I fully commit to him, he will only do it when we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't take any of this too serious as it could be rat talk,
He mentioned once he was in his overdraft but had savings, he has not mentioned anything like this again, I think was he was trying to see what my reaction was Because now he's telling me he also has properties he rents out!! Lies!?? I just don't know what to believe, I am analysing everything but I guess it's good I am going in with my eyes open. He keeps saying he wants to be like my father which I find at times odd and pervy but also a little sweet. I have been trying to message him less but I get sucked In!!! How can a relationship like this even work! What's the point ! We are so far away! And I read all these horror stories about the lies, I sometimes just want to block and delete but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm crazy for having these feelings for someone I've not met before.
Well if he’s living in Turkey I’ve heard they have quite a liberal attitude towards sex work so yeah he could be getting “it”. Regardless of his intentions there’s no way to tell whether you’d actually get along in real life, cause you can talk for years then when you meet the bubble pops. There might be little things about him that get on your nerves... he might be rude... he could smell lol.... no chemistry the list goes on. I don’t really know him but to me he seems to be in a bit of pickle and he wants to find a way out of it.
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
This is something I have thought about, maybe he has someone he has sex with local to him or sends nudes and rude texts to.
He has said to me that when I meet him for real If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me, he has also said he would only have sex with me when I fully commit to him, he will only do it when we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't take any of this too serious as it could be rat talk,
He mentioned once he was in his overdraft but had savings, he has not mentioned anything like this again, I think was he was trying to see what my reaction was Because now he's telling me he also has properties he rents out!! Lies!?? I just don't know what to believe, I am analysing everything but I guess it's good I am going in with my eyes open. He keeps saying he wants to be like my father which I find at times odd and pervy but also a little sweet. I have been trying to message him less but I get sucked In!!! How can a relationship like this even work! What's the point ! We are so far away! And I read all these horror stories about the lies, I sometimes just want to block and delete but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm crazy for having these feelings for someone I've not met before.
See this here bothers me as it reads like he is laying the terms down prior to a meeting and it is rat talk, be clear that's exactly what it is.

Can you imaging meeting a guy here ( your country) who prior to any meet up tells you ;-
  • He's overdrawn
  • Planning kids if you 'connect'
  • Telling you when / you wont be having sex together

Like wtf?
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
See this here bothers me as it reads like he is laying the terms down prior to a meeting and it is rat talk, be clear that's exactly what it is.

Can you imaging meeting a guy here ( your country) who prior to any meet up tells you ;-
  • He's overdrawn
  • Planning kids if you 'connect'
  • Telling you when / you wont be having sex together

Like wtf?
Added to that is the fact that he wants to meet in a country other than where he lives. He knows you’re Muslim by birth and that your Father is Muslim yet he is happy to share a bed with you - that is so disrespectful no decent man would even consider it!


MH x
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
This is something I have thought about, maybe he has someone he has sex with local to him or sends nudes and rude texts to.
He has said to me that when I meet him for real If i feel a connection and our relationship progresses he would like a child with me, he has also said he would only have sex with me when I fully commit to him, he will only do it when we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't take any of this too serious as it could be rat talk,
He mentioned once he was in his overdraft but had savings, he has not mentioned anything like this again, I think was he was trying to see what my reaction was Because now he's telling me he also has properties he rents out!! Lies!?? I just don't know what to believe, I am analysing everything but I guess it's good I am going in with my eyes open. He keeps saying he wants to be like my father which I find at times odd and pervy but also a little sweet. I have been trying to message him less but I get sucked In!!! How can a relationship like this even work! What's the point ! We are so far away! And I read all these horror stories about the lies, I sometimes just want to block and delete but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm crazy for having these feelings for someone I've not met before.

He will not have sex with any woman prior to marriage. If he wants to marry a woman for a life partner he will not have sex with her prior to marriage. Period.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I have now blocked him he has freaked me out! Yuck!
What a creep :eek: I am happy you blocked him these texts he send you are very weird and controlling. My daughter??? He wants to make you pregnant?? This conversation of him spired quickly out of control. A real weirdo but he will be back be aware he will soon have a fake acount or his family and friends will try to contact you. Be safe and set your social media to private so he can not see your contacts
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
I have now blocked him he has freaked me out! Yuck!
Wow he is even worse than I thought - I wish there was a way of reporting this, God knows how many girls he could be grooming!!!!!

Well done for blocking him, he more than showed his true colours - jeezo @Jasmine08 I can’t bear to think what may have happened had you travelled to meet him!

Are you okay?

Hugs

MH x
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I have now blocked him he has freaked me out! Yuck!
That’s a lot of inappropriate and bizarre things within the space of a short conversation. The skin comment : not too dark, not too light: perfect. Whaaat? The Daddy-daughter thing. Maybe he thought he was funny? Freakin’freak!!
“I’ll make you pregnant, you’ll never leave my side, I’ll keep you safe in MY apartment.” Oh the bad vibes these words give! This one clearly has a big misconception of who women are and what they want. He doesn’t see them as human beings and equal partners. Only a misogynist can think women want to hear that. He sees nothing wrong with what he says and doesn’t understand it’s creepy, scary and not normal! He sounds like he could be dangerous. I’m so sorry he told you these things, Jasmine08. He was so not worth your time and attention.

Even his reaction once he saw you read his message and ignored it is childish and shows a stupid mentality. I hope he won’t find a way to message you because his next messages may be very mean. Then he’ll say love words, then become nasty again etc.. Block him from everywhere in case he attempts to chase you aggressively. He sounds like the kind who will harass the women who rejected him.
 
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