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Someone please help me! I need advice

tipme

Major Ratslayer
We have all been there. It's all the love bombing there all narcissists. But u said he works in factory yet he sits up all nite talking to you. The factory start at 7 r 8 in morning so I think nearer the time of holiday he's lost his job that he didn't have to begin with. Then u will have already bought your ticket. Then he can't go cos he was paid off so swat u do offer no il get it send him money which will be more than wat it really is. Even if u ask for receipt they would ask travel agent to make up a fake one. The whole country corrupt police and all everything money there
Also for newbeeies you might think. She's talking crap because you couldn't do that. We have all been there. We didn't no you think of it like your own country. As a travel agent bk home police would t do that. This place isnt our countries anything possible for a few dinars. Even at your beginning of realishop and you say oh il.get the coffees u slip your man 20finars so he's not embaressed coz he's just lost his jobso u get your change even then he's took a few dinars a d the coffee server gets 1 dinar out of your money. Then of course u give the guy 3 to 5 dinar tip. U think this goes on all day long. We're just meal tickets. Then they go round at end of week and collect all there dinars out of coffee shops and clothes shops. But see if your only starting off. You should not be buying coffees. The man does a tunisian woman purse is her own and the man pays. So when u see couples the man buys the woman coffee and all the rats no this. So this gives all the other rats if they c u out shopping r anything
Oh your momhamed wife. They all call u wife. Even if your not married and introduce as this. But again that's a narcissist giving the person fake belief making. Them feel secure and wanted putting them into a false security. Family the same. Oh when I came over all the time. They would be all on the fone when r u coming down to see us. I used to think that was nice. But u learn no there only putting on a fake personality only what to see what you had brought them over from England.
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Also for newbeeies you might think. She's talking crap because you couldn't do that. We have all been there. We didn't no you think of it like your own country. As a travel agent bk home police would t do that. This place isnt our countries anything possible for a few dinars. Even at your beginning of realishop and you say oh il.get the coffees u slip your man 20finars so he's not embaressed coz he's just lost his jobso u get your change even then he's took a few dinars a d the coffee server gets 1 dinar out of your money. Then of course u give the guy 3 to 5 dinar tip. U think this goes on all day long. We're just meal tickets. Then they go round at end of week and collect all there dinars out of coffee shops and clothes shops. But see if your only starting off. You should not be buying coffees. The man does a tunisian woman purse is her own and the man pays. So when u see couples the man buys the woman coffee and all the rats no this. So this gives all the other rats if they c u out shopping r anything
Oh your momhamed wife. They all call u wife. Even if your not married and introduce as this. But again that's a narcissist giving the person fake belief making. Them feel secure and wanted putting them into a false security. Family the same. Oh when I came over all the time. They would be all on the fone when r u coming down to see us. I used to think that was nice. But u learn no there only putting on a fake personality only what to see what you had brought them over from England.
same scripts, get all the rat friends and family faking it till they make it, then that's when they turn their backs.
You are right even before you are married "Wifey blah blah"
My ex-rats mother screamed at me in Arabic when I was alone there, his parents both cornered me and asking me where he was when they knew full well where he was out drinking with the rat friends but they never apologized for that.
That was very traumatic for me, and I will never forget it.
And I treated them well too, I think that was the first punishment, it seemed from what they said that once I was married in this sham they passed him off to me to get work for him.
No visa for this rat especially after that!
Amongst all the things a Tunisian rat does such lying, cheating and scamming and watching dirty porn!
It's just all show, his parents know very well that no one will take him, why scream at me for it???
I thought his mother was his grandmother at first, and I meant no offense and he got defensive. LOL
If I was the rat's mother I would age beyond my years LOL
 
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Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I think I would’ve packed up and gone home! And you know the gifts.. I brought the rat gifts the family not so much.. whoops I brought the mom some reading glasses something for her back his little nieces a doll each but I was the guest! Where’s my gifts? Besides they got enough of my money anyway. I sent a little care pkg 2019 Jan but outside of the rat not a lot for others oh well ..who knew? Not me;)
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
I think I would’ve packed up and gone home! And you know the gifts.. I brought the rat gifts the family not so much.. whoops I brought the mom some reading glasses something for her back his little nieces a doll each but I was the guest! Where’s my gifts? Besides they got enough of my money anyway. I sent a little care pkg 2019 Jan but outside of the rat not a lot for others oh well ..who knew? Not me;)
I think my ex-rat put his parents up to doing that, now that I think of that.
One time when I separated from him in 2016 he was frantically calling me many times then he left a voice message and made his mother talk in French like she was repeating what he was yelling in the background for her to say. Just awful disgusting behavior!
you know I should have left him in the cold then.
Who uses their mom to do their bidding like that? Like I love my sons too but I stay out of their affairs.
Anyways I spent thousands, I took the family on a trip, gave them money for food, paid for accommodation, taxis, drivers, money for airplane tickets 3 times from Canada, restaurants, and what I had I gave him to spend so he did well by me and so the family can never say I was not generous.
I get it we are human , we make mistakes, and we forgive but the rat made too many mistakes, and the family assumed I was their ticket for their rat son to leave them after all the years he lived with the parents I sense their frustration.
No one will take a used car that keeps breaking down so how did they expect me to put up with their lying cheating rat son!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I think my ex-rat put his parents up to doing that, now that I think of that.
One time when I separated from him in 2016 he was frantically calling me many times then he left a voice message and made his mother talk in French like she was repeating what he was yelling in the background for her to say. Just awful disgusting behavior!
you know I should have left him in the cold then.
Who uses their mom to do their bidding like that? Like I love my sons too but I stay out of their affairs.
Anyways I spent thousands, I took the family on a trip, gave them money for food, paid for accommodation, taxis, drivers, money for airplane tickets 3 times from Canada, restaurants, and what I had I gave him to spend so he did well by me and so the family can never say I was not generous.
I get it we are human , we make mistakes, and we forgive but the rat made too many mistakes, and the family assumed I was their ticket for their rat son to leave them after all the years he lived with the parents I sense their frustration.
No one will take a used car that keeps breaking down so how did they expect me to put up with their lying cheating rat son!
You were very generous to say the very least! Man I bet they hated that the marriage didn’t work because they would’ve been rid of him plus I’m sure he would be sending them some of your hard earned money!! Before my rat I never heard of such crap. In my days I could have had more then a few sugar daddy’s if I wanted to but it’s not in me to use or take from people, I don’t see how these jerks sleep at night! Besides being drunk :snore: love is love but enough is enough
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I think my ex-rat put his parents up to doing that, now that I think of that.
One time when I separated from him in 2016 he was frantically calling me many times then he left a voice message and made his mother talk in French like she was repeating what he was yelling in the background for her to say. Just awful disgusting behavior!
you know I should have left him in the cold then.
Who uses their mom to do their bidding like that? Like I love my sons too but I stay out of their affairs.
Anyways I spent thousands, I took the family on a trip, gave them money for food, paid for accommodation, taxis, drivers, money for airplane tickets 3 times from Canada, restaurants, and what I had I gave him to spend so he did well by me and so the family can never say I was not generous.
I get it we are human , we make mistakes, and we forgive but the rat made too many mistakes, and the family assumed I was their ticket for their rat son to leave them after all the years he lived with the parents I sense their frustration.
No one will take a used car that keeps breaking down so how did they expect me to put up with their lying cheating rat son!
And yes my rats mom went along with his brother when scamming a lady screaming in the back ground , she was sick and the little brother once crying and carrying on for another scam saying grandfather died they needed money for a wake or some crap?? So there ya go the whole family involved.. by the way miraculously grandfather died twice one for real may he RIP
 
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Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
Hello, I haven't been on here for a little while, I just wanted to give you an update, I've been talking everyday with the Tunisian since November it's almost 7 months now I am 19 he is 36, he lied about his age at first and told me he was 28 even though he doesn't look 28! he looks older! Anyway he has booked two rooms in a hotel in Turkey for the start of June but now my country has said Travel to Turkey is forbidden because of the pandemic, he has already paid for these rooms I have seen the booking confirmation, we have planned to rearrange for the end of June but we really wanted to be together for his Birthday at the start of June, is anyone else in a similar position? I'm worried with all thats going on it's going to be a long time before I meet him face to face, I am losing patience, I have been on dates with men here and find myself thinking about the tunisian and wanting to return home to call him, I work for a cosmetic company so i am now back at work on the counter which helps keep me distracted from him, during lock down I was always eager for his messages, when I'm out with friends I think of him and look forward to returning home to chat with him, I'm fed up of waiting to meet him. I sometimes consider ending this communication with him so I don't feel like this but truth is I dream of meeting him everyday and I find myself dreaming what life would be like with him there. I'm Just feeling a little sad and trapped here, if it wasn't for coronavirus I would be meeting him and I'd be able to see it this is real or not.
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Hello, I haven't been on here for a little while, I just wanted to give you an update, I've been talking everyday with the Tunisian since November it's almost 7 months now I am 19 he is 36, he lied about his age at first and told me he was 28 even though he doesn't look 28! he looks older! Anyway he has booked two rooms in a hotel in Turkey for the start of June but now my country has said Travel to Turkey is forbidden because of the pandemic, he has already paid for these rooms I have seen the booking confirmation, we have planned to rearrange for the end of June but we really wanted to be together for his Birthday at the start of June, is anyone else in a similar position? I'm worried with all thats going on it's going to be a long time before I meet him face to face, I am losing patience, I have been on dates with men here and find myself thinking about the tunisian and wanting to return home to call him, I work for a cosmetic company so i am now back at work on the counter which helps keep me distracted from him, during lock down I was always eager for his messages, when I'm out with friends I think of him and look forward to returning home to chat with him, I'm fed up of waiting to meet him. I sometimes consider ending this communication with him so I don't feel like this but truth is I dream of meeting him everyday and I find myself dreaming what life would be like with him there. I'm Just feeling a little sad and trapped here, if it wasn't for coronavirus I would be meeting him and I'd be able to see it this is real or not.
OMG @jasmine, did he discuss with you regarding the hotel booking?

Please be careful, Turkish men are very forceful, pls be careful, you’re only 19years old, I cannot emphasise how careful you have to be.
My suggestion is: what happens on line Stays on line, it’s not real even if you see them on video x
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Hello, I haven't been on here for a little while, I just wanted to give you an update, I've been talking everyday with the Tunisian since November it's almost 7 months now I am 19 he is 36, he lied about his age at first and told me he was 28 even though he doesn't look 28! he looks older! Anyway he has booked two rooms in a hotel in Turkey for the start of June but now my country has said Travel to Turkey is forbidden because of the pandemic, he has already paid for these rooms I have seen the booking confirmation, we have planned to rearrange for the end of June but we really wanted to be together for his Birthday at the start of June, is anyone else in a similar position? I'm worried with all thats going on it's going to be a long time before I meet him face to face, I am losing patience, I have been on dates with men here and find myself thinking about the tunisian and wanting to return home to call him, I work for a cosmetic company so i am now back at work on the counter which helps keep me distracted from him, during lock down I was always eager for his messages, when I'm out with friends I think of him and look forward to returning home to chat with him, I'm fed up of waiting to meet him. I sometimes consider ending this communication with him so I don't feel like this but truth is I dream of meeting him everyday and I find myself dreaming what life would be like with him there. I'm Just feeling a little sad and trapped here, if it wasn't for coronavirus I would be meeting him and I'd be able to see it this is real or not.
This is so sad to read because I feel like he has you caught up in his trap. We all felt like this with our rats . I would not believe a word he says he has a lot to gain with you you really have nothing to gain and everything to lose! Hopefully I’m wrong but you might need to think these things are happening for a reason! Stay home! You will be better off in the long run. Yeah it will take some time to get over his charming chats as some here are still struggling with that because that’s all they offer.
 

Dangerous Beans

Rat Expert
Did you give your permission to book the rooms?
Can you take someone with you on that trip should you decide to go?
Honestly it's shit like this that can get you into real trouble. For your sake I hope you won't be able to go.
Have you watched Promising Young Woman yet, because I feel like you should. Some men are at their worst when they feel they have power over the woman. Nice guys especially
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Hello, I haven't been on here for a little while, I just wanted to give you an update, I've been talking everyday with the Tunisian since November it's almost 7 months now I am 19 he is 36, he lied about his age at first and told me he was 28 even though he doesn't look 28! he looks older! Anyway he has booked two rooms in a hotel in Turkey for the start of June but now my country has said Travel to Turkey is forbidden because of the pandemic, he has already paid for these rooms I have seen the booking confirmation, we have planned to rearrange for the end of June but we really wanted to be together for his Birthday at the start of June, is anyone else in a similar position? I'm worried with all thats going on it's going to be a long time before I meet him face to face, I am losing patience, I have been on dates with men here and find myself thinking about the tunisian and wanting to return home to call him, I work for a cosmetic company so i am now back at work on the counter which helps keep me distracted from him, during lock down I was always eager for his messages, when I'm out with friends I think of him and look forward to returning home to chat with him, I'm fed up of waiting to meet him. I sometimes consider ending this communication with him so I don't feel like this but truth is I dream of meeting him everyday and I find myself dreaming what life would be like with him there. I'm Just feeling a little sad and trapped here, if it wasn't for coronavirus I would be meeting him and I'd be able to see it this is real or not.
A tunisian man, 36 and not married yet? Must be something wrong with him! Why would he be interested in a teenager? Sounds like a weird geezer!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Did you give your permission to book the rooms?
Can you take someone with you on that trip should you decide to go?
Honestly it's shit like this that can get you into real trouble. For your sake I hope you won't be able to go.
Have you watched Promising Young Woman yet, because I feel like you should. Some men are at their worst when they feel they have power over the woman. Nice guys especially
And older!!!! Why is he not married??
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Hello, I haven't been on here for a little while, I just wanted to give you an update, I've been talking everyday with the Tunisian since November it's almost 7 months now I am 19 he is 36, he lied about his age at first and told me he was 28 even though he doesn't look 28! he looks older! Anyway he has booked two rooms in a hotel in Turkey for the start of June but now my country has said Travel to Turkey is forbidden because of the pandemic, he has already paid for these rooms I have seen the booking confirmation, we have planned to rearrange for the end of June but we really wanted to be together for his Birthday at the start of June, is anyone else in a similar position? I'm worried with all thats going on it's going to be a long time before I meet him face to face, I am losing patience, I have been on dates with men here and find myself thinking about the tunisian and wanting to return home to call him, I work for a cosmetic company so i am now back at work on the counter which helps keep me distracted from him, during lock down I was always eager for his messages, when I'm out with friends I think of him and look forward to returning home to chat with him, I'm fed up of waiting to meet him. I sometimes consider ending this communication with him so I don't feel like this but truth is I dream of meeting him everyday and I find myself dreaming what life would be like with him there. I'm Just feeling a little sad and trapped here, if it wasn't for coronavirus I would be meeting him and I'd be able to see it this is real or not.
A 36 year old man lying about his age. What’s more pathetic? That says everything right here about his character. He’s an immature loser with no integrity and therefore, he can’t be trusted. You’re so young and he won’t let you go and he thinks it’ll be even easier to control you. He’s going to ruin your life if you let him. It’s sad you’re missing him so much because you can’t see him now, but what’s even sadder is you are falling in his trap. Sabrina said it so well.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
A 36 year old man lying about his age. What’s more pathetic? That says everything right here about his character. He’s an immature loser with no integrity and therefore, he can’t be trusted. You’re so young and he won’t let you go and he thinks it’ll be even easier to control you. He’s going to ruin your life if you let him. It’s sad you’re missing him so much because you can’t see him now, but what’s even sadder is you are falling in his trap. Sabrina said it so well.
Stories like this kinda freaks me out because he is so much older then her, you can tell he is preying on her and her age just thinking what he might do with her....2 rooms ?? what kind of man does this?? This will not end well I’m pretty sure:(
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Stories like this kinda freaks me out because he is so much older then her, you can tell he is preying on her and her age just thinking what he might do with her....2 rooms ?? what kind of man does this?? This will not end well I’m pretty sure:(
Yes, i thought the same about the 2 rooms thing. It’s so she’ll think is a good man and she will be reassured he wi t do anything. He knows she’s Muslim so he doesn’t want to freak her out but what good Muslim man expects a woman to travel alone to meet a man in a hotel, 2 bedrooms or not? It shows he doesn’t care about religion and he doesn’t respect her. He’s so happy he found a young and beautiful Muslim woman who lives in Europe. It’s a goldmine and it’ll be hard for her to get rid of him the day when she wants to.
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
Hello, I haven't been on here for a little while, I just wanted to give you an update, I've been talking everyday with the Tunisian since November it's almost 7 months now I am 19 he is 36, he lied about his age at first and told me he was 28 even though he doesn't look 28! he looks older! Anyway he has booked two rooms in a hotel in Turkey for the start of June but now my country has said Travel to Turkey is forbidden because of the pandemic, he has already paid for these rooms I have seen the booking confirmation, we have planned to rearrange for the end of June but we really wanted to be together for his Birthday at the start of June, is anyone else in a similar position? I'm worried with all thats going on it's going to be a long time before I meet him face to face, I am losing patience, I have been on dates with men here and find myself thinking about the tunisian and wanting to return home to call him, I work for a cosmetic company so i am now back at work on the counter which helps keep me distracted from him, during lock down I was always eager for his messages, when I'm out with friends I think of him and look forward to returning home to chat with him, I'm fed up of waiting to meet him. I sometimes consider ending this communication with him so I don't feel like this but truth is I dream of meeting him everyday and I find myself dreaming what life would be like with him there. I'm Just feeling a little sad and trapped here, if it wasn't for coronavirus I would be meeting him and I'd be able to see it this is real or not.
Don’t do it! This is a blessing in disguise! I dated an older man when I was your age and it turned my world upside down, for better or for worse. He was rather creepy and controlling too and seemed to be into younger women. It also messes with your mind cause you have a lover as well as a father figure all in one, which makes you dependent. When I actually had time to myself (which was rare) I felt like I’d come up from underwater to breathe.

It could be that you’re more in love with the fairytale of it, the fact that he’s far away and unattainable. Would you be so into him if he was in the UK? A 36 year old control freak that has a thing for teenage girls? I’m sure these local guys aren’t so bad, it’s just that they’re too close to home and yes home is not so great at the moment. I understand and we’ve all been there but don’t travel alone. Even with the two rooms he could sneak in yours. Men can be pretty crafty you’ve just gotta be craftier lol
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
I do sometimes feel sad that I feel like this, I seen a picture of him on the beach and I felt sad I was not there with him close to him, I know that the men here are good but they aren't as appealing as him because he has been the fantasy for 7 months, it's not easy for me to reach him so I long for him more than any man, I have come to love how protective he is, I love that he wants to know where I am throughout the day, our conversations have become a routine around our work and social life, we talk every morning and night and when I get back late from seeing friends he is happy to see I'm home and safe and will call to say goodnight, I actually think I've fallen in love with him, I imagine I'd feel so safe around him, he is not a pervert. We have however discussed what our future will be like, our plan is to first meet on holiday in turkey, the 2nd and 3rd time we meet will be in Tunisia if we feel the connection Is strong then our 4th meeting he wants me to move in with him. I don't consider myself to be in a formal relationship with him at the moment because I am also talking to other men who live local to me and I have been on dates but I always just want him and the thought of him going on dates with women makes my stomach turn. I have never told him about my dating life because i know this would upset him and I hate the thought of it upsetting him. But I've never met him so I can't exactly say he's my boyfriend but I do feel I love him like a boyfriend already.
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
I do sometimes feel sad that I feel like this, I seen a picture of him on the beach and I felt sad I was not there with him close to him, I know that the men here are good but they aren't as appealing as him because he has been the fantasy for 7 months, it's not easy for me to reach him so I long for him more than any man, I have come to love how protective he is, I love that he wants to know where I am throughout the day, our conversations have become a routine around our work and social life, we talk every morning and night and when I get back late from seeing friends he is happy to see I'm home and safe and will call to say goodnight, I actually think I've fallen in love with him, I imagine I'd feel so safe around him, he is not a pervert. We have however discussed what our future will be like, our plan is to first meet on holiday in turkey, the 2nd and 3rd time we meet will be in Tunisia if we feel the connection Is strong then our 4th meeting he wants me to move in with him. I don't consider myself to be in a formal relationship with him at the moment because I am also talking to other men who live local to me and I have been on dates but I always just want him and the thought of him going on dates with women makes my stomach turn. I have never told him about my dating life because i know this would upset him and I hate the thought of it upsetting him. But I've never met him so I can't exactly say he's my boyfriend but I do feel I love him like a boyfriend already.
As you say he has been your fantasy for 7 months. That is all it is, just a dream. The reality will eventually become a nightmare. At his age he is fully experienced in making Western women fall for him. He is not being loving or protective, he has been love bombing you. You have never met so you can't be in love with him. I guess you will go to meet him anyway as you have become so involved with him online. I just urge you to proceed with caution. He is much too old for you. The whole situation isn't right, so please be very careful. He can hurt you badly, both mentally and physically. A Tunisian man his age would normally be married with a family, not searching for young women online. Take care.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I do sometimes feel sad that I feel like this, I seen a picture of him on the beach and I felt sad I was not there with him close to him, I know that the men here are good but they aren't as appealing as him because he has been the fantasy for 7 months, it's not easy for me to reach him so I long for him more than any man, I have come to love how protective he is, I love that he wants to know where I am throughout the day, our conversations have become a routine around our work and social life, we talk every morning and night and when I get back late from seeing friends he is happy to see I'm home and safe and will call to say goodnight, I actually think I've fallen in love with him, I imagine I'd feel so safe around him, he is not a pervert. We have however discussed what our future will be like, our plan is to first meet on holiday in turkey, the 2nd and 3rd time we meet will be in Tunisia if we feel the connection Is strong then our 4th meeting he wants me to move in with him. I don't consider myself to be in a formal relationship with him at the moment because I am also talking to other men who live local to me and I have been on dates but I always just want him and the thought of him going on dates with women makes my stomach turn. I have never told him about my dating life because i know this would upset him and I hate the thought of it upsetting him. But I've never met him so I can't exactly say he's my boyfriend but I do feel I love him like a boyfriend already.
Hi @Jasmine08 a few months ago he freeked you out with his texts to you about you being his "daughter" and wanted you to be pregnant from him. Think about it.... He is 36 you are just 19. Do you really think he didn't have another woman who he had sex with? You are the only woman in the whole world he wants? Why? There are good looking tunisian girls in tunisia and at his age he would already be married to one if he was such a catch. Maybe he was already married in the past as his English is very good. You are Muslim to but he asked you to meet up in an hotel. What would your father say about this? You are falling in love with the image he created to you about him being a good man. Be very careful about it all he is a rat. Not any genuine tunisian man would ask a woman to meet up at a hotel your father should go with you and punch the living day lights out of this man. Seriously @Jasmine08 we all had conversations with our rats and they seem so nice and loving but it's an act not real. If you are thinking about meeting him and being honnest then you should tell your family and friends
 

Myriam1

Major Ratslayer
Yasmine, tell your family about this man! And tell this weirdo that you told your family about him, see his reaction!
If he was a good muslim man, he would want you to do this...
Don't go to meet him alone, that's dangerous. And he will later on use it against you!!!!
 

Jasmine08

Junior Rat Expert
I have told one friend about him and that I plan to meet him, she obviously told me she thinks the whole thing is strange and doesn't understand why I don't want somebody here! I told him I had told my friend and i told him how she feels about it, I started to become distant from him and he was upset because since speaking with my friend about him I changed, he asked me not to discuss our relationship anymore with my friends, it puts me in an awkward position because I feel I have no one to talk to about it, my friend thinks it's odd so I don't want to say too much to her. I know that it is weird and the age gap is weird.
He has been in a long serious relationship before and he was engaged, I managed to find his ex fiancee on Facebook and she is now married to someone else. I have asked him why he isn't married and he said he has found it difficult since his last relationship ended. I don't know the details of why it ended but it seemed to be something he doesn't want to talk about, which I find a bit odd. I know he is 100% single because his facebook and his Instagram have all his friends and work friends on and they are tagged in his posts, so they would obviously find it odd if it says single when he is married, his social media accounts our obviously genuine. I have no concerns with him being single or not because he definitely is single, the biggest thing is why it ended with his fiancee!? he has spoke about having children a few times and I think he worries he may never have them, he said his father asks when he will marry and have his own children,
I think his feelings for me are genuine I notice he gets jealous and a little angry at certain things like pictures I post on Instagram, he likes to know what friends I'm out with and i think he does this to make sure I'm not on a date with somone. Maybe he does want a European life because he speaks english so well and sees me as the perfect opportunity but he definitely does have feelings for me. Maybe when I can start having proper nights out in the bars and nightclubs again I will be distracted and eventually I'll find this whole thing odd! The boredom of lockdown hasn't helped with this.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I have told one friend about him and that I plan to meet him, she obviously told me she thinks the whole thing is strange and doesn't understand why I don't want somebody here! I told him I had told my friend and i told him how she feels about it, I started to become distant from him and he was upset because since speaking with my friend about him I changed, he asked me not to discuss our relationship anymore with my friends, it puts me in an awkward position because I feel I have no one to talk to about it, my friend thinks it's odd so I don't want to say too much to her. I know that it is weird and the age gap is weird.
He has been in a long serious relationship before and he was engaged, I managed to find his ex fiancee on Facebook and she is now married to someone else. I have asked him why he isn't married and he said he has found it difficult since his last relationship ended. I don't know the details of why it ended but it seemed to be something he doesn't want to talk about, which I find a bit odd. I know he is 100% single because his facebook and his Instagram have all his friends and work friends on and they are tagged in his posts, so they would obviously find it odd if it says single when he is married, his social media accounts our obviously genuine. I have no concerns with him being single or not because he definitely is single, the biggest thing is why it ended with his fiancee!? he has spoke about having children a few times and I think he worries he may never have them, he said his father asks when he will marry and have his own children,
I think his feelings for me are genuine I notice he gets jealous and a little angry at certain things like pictures I post on Instagram, he likes to know what friends I'm out with and i think he does this to make sure I'm not on a date with somone. Maybe he does want a European life because he speaks english so well and sees me as the perfect opportunity but he definitely does have feelings for me. Maybe when I can start having proper nights out in the bars and nightclubs again I will be distracted and eventually I'll find this whole thing odd! The boredom of lockdown hasn't helped with this.
Ooh well I am much older but my rat was jealous to with who I was or to who I talked. Sending endless romantic texts means nothing these are empty words. His actions speak more about who he is. Trying to meet a young girl of your age and also Muslim says it all. Obviously he doesn't like it you talk about your "relation" to your friends as they would warn you. His single status online means nothing to its just a setting on social media. If he is genuine with you he should introduce himself to your family and be a decent man and don't try to lure a young woman into a sneeky meeting in another country.
 

Annie-May

Senior Rat Expert
Hi, I just wanted to leave you a little message as I am in the same position as you with regards to talking to a tunisian and wanting to meet him. I really understand your need to meet him and see if he is as genuine as he seems, I am the same. I know of some multi national relationships as well as those where couples are from the same country with large age gaps and they can work but I know a few where it hasn't. As regards to the two hotel rooms I don't see much of a problem with that as I know there are alot of hotels in turkey that will not allow unmarried couples to share a room, whether they are both muslims or mixed with one being muslim. Please dont rush into meeting him as much as you are desperate to meet, take time to read as much as you can on here and listen to everyone's advice, but still listen to how you feel. I've been talking to my guy for a little bit longer than you have I think and I'm still not planning to rush to meet him just yet.
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
I have told one friend about him and that I plan to meet him, she obviously told me she thinks the whole thing is strange and doesn't understand why I don't want somebody here! I told him I had told my friend and i told him how she feels about it, I started to become distant from him and he was upset because since speaking with my friend about him I changed, he asked me not to discuss our relationship anymore with my friends, it puts me in an awkward position because I feel I have no one to talk to about it, my friend thinks it's odd so I don't want to say too much to her. I know that it is weird and the age gap is weird.
He has been in a long serious relationship before and he was engaged, I managed to find his ex fiancee on Facebook and she is now married to someone else. I have asked him why he isn't married and he said he has found it difficult since his last relationship ended. I don't know the details of why it ended but it seemed to be something he doesn't want to talk about, which I find a bit odd. I know he is 100% single because his facebook and his Instagram have all his friends and work friends on and they are tagged in his posts, so they would obviously find it odd if it says single when he is married, his social media accounts our obviously genuine. I have no concerns with him being single or not because he definitely is single, the biggest thing is why it ended with his fiancee!? he has spoke about having children a few times and I think he worries he may never have them, he said his father asks when he will marry and have his own children,
I think his feelings for me are genuine I notice he gets jealous and a little angry at certain things like pictures I post on Instagram, he likes to know what friends I'm out with and i think he does this to make sure I'm not on a date with somone. Maybe he does want a European life because he speaks english so well and sees me as the perfect opportunity but he definitely does have feelings for me. Maybe when I can start having proper nights out in the bars and nightclubs again I will be distracted and eventually I'll find this whole thing odd! The boredom of lockdown hasn't helped with this.
Getting jealous and angry is a means of controlling you. Imagine how much more jealous and angry he will become after you have met and slept together!! Why accept jealousy and anger from someone you haven't even met? He is on his best behaviour now as he is wanting you to fall madly in love with him. If anger and jealousy are showing now in the early stages that is a huge warning. You can do better in life than that!!

Of course he doesn't want you to talk to friends about him, he doesn't want them telling you what is wrong with the relationship. He will try to take up all your time and will want to isolate you from your friends. If you are unable to talk to your parents about him then you know he is unsuitable for you.

Hopefully when you can start to go out more and live a more normal life you will be able to distance yourself from him.

Enjoy your teen years, you only live them once!!!! Don't waste them on him.
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Hi Jasmine,
Why on earth would he ask you not to discuss your relationship with your friends as it's the most normal thing on earth for you to do???

As he doesn't want to talk about why his past relationship ended I would be like a rat up a drainpipe exploring that in far more detail with him if it were me.

You have not even met him and he speaks about having children when he is almost old enought to be your father.

You say you enjoy bars and nightclubs as is perfectly normal particularly at 19 and in a western culture, I'm not sure he would happily drop you off at any bar or nightclub if you were together as he most probably wouldn't allow you to go if you were actually together.

You have your whole life ahead of you, don't wreck it on a controlling older man, and as for celebrating his birthday , according to my rat , rats don't celebrate !
 
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