Welcome to TLR

The Three Prime Aims of a Narcissist

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Good afternoon all. Hope you are well despite the effects of the pandemic on the world.
As victims of love rats we are all aware of their narcissistic traits. Even so their ability to brainwash us from the get-go is very powerful. But exactly are their prime aims? As I read through the article below it reminded me of when my rat “infested” my life and I was able to tick all three boxes. The third aim is probably the most pertinent to us when it comes to these Tunisian love rats. This article is written by a narcissist...so straight from the horse’s mouth. It would be so easy if, as both victims and empaths, we could recognise the red flags before becoming too invested. The more invested we become the less we use our heads when making decisions about or rats. We can see rats for who they are when we are on the outside looking in...such as when we read each other’s stories about our experiences with rats. But when it comes to our own rat our eyes are often only opened when we have gone through the discarded phase and our hurt starts to turn to anger and hatred. So what makes them seek us out in the first place? Here goes!

I have three Prime Aims.

All of our kind has three Prime Aims.
Our dark and menacing behaviours (even when dressed up as the illusory golden period) are focused on the attainment of these three Prime Aims. They are all that matter. Everything else is dust. We are driven to secure these Prime Aims. They are hard-wired into us, they are sub-conscious requirements in most of our kind and amongst the Greater of our brethren we are aware of the necessity of attaining these three things to ensure that not only do we survive but we also thrive. Everything we do, say and concern ourselves with revolves around achieving these three aims. Nothing else matters.
Do we love you? No. We do not know what that truly is but we will use love to secure our Prime Aims. We will desecrate it through our twisted facsimile of what we understand love to be and use it to secure our aims.
Do we want to do good for the disadvantaged around us? No. Yet, if such behaviour will ultimately benefit us through the establishment of a facade which can then be used to further our quest for these Prime Aims then we will become a trustee of that charity or organise a fund raiser for the Orphanage For Unwanted Monobrowed Children.
Do we want to be friends with you because we find your collection of unopened Star Wars figures fascinating? No. We do so because knowing someone with the best collection on the East Coast means that it works in favour of us in terms of attaining the Prime Aims.
Nothing we do is about you. It is all about securing our aims. Admittedly, there will be occasions where we are in alignment and our march with our dark troops by our side to the attainment of the Prime Aims means that you and others benefit. That is pure serendipity and we do not care whether the outcome is good or bad for you, so long as we achieve what we need.
The sooner you grasp and understand that we are focused on securing these Prime Aims and nothing else matters to us, the faster you will be able to formulate your own way to avoid being caught up in their attainment. The Prime Aims and their attainment is the only goal we are interested in and everything else is swept up in the need to achieve them. Children. Job. Home. Wife. Father. Daughter. Friend. Interests. Socialising. Conversations. Money. Status. Manipulation. Connections. Infidelity. Misery. Cruelty. Seduction. Possessions. These and so much more are mere conduits, enablers, bridges to the securing of the Prime Aims.
Never underestimate or fail to recognise the single-mindedness by which our machine like efficiency closes on this goal. You are there to ensure we achieve it. Our faceless Lieutenants and lurking Coterie are there to ensure we achieve it. The secondary and tertiary sources, the facade, the crows, the butterflies, the seduction, the devaluation and the disengagement. The hoovers, oft and repeated or seemingly absent, yet appearing years later are all part of the inextricably linked matrix to achieve the Prime Aims.
So, what are they?
Those of you who have read much of my work will already know what they are, but it is necessary to identify and underline them.

1. Fuel/Control

The chief Prime Aim. The most important one and the overriding objective of our engagements with everybody that we come into contact with. Fuel is the emotional response provided by you ad everybody else, caused by us which signals that we have control over you.It may be indirect, for instance someone smiling at us as we walk by, it may be direct because we have provoked you into crying by calling you names.
Fuel is both positive and negative. It flows from all appliances. It varies in potency dependent on the Fuel Index (see the book Fuel for an expansive explanation of this central factor of what drives our kind) and in terms of its quantity and frequency. Fuel powers us. It quells the anguish and the anxiety, it settles us, it edifies us, it makes us powerful and it causes us to feel impregnable, omnipotent and god-like.
It is our drug. We want it and we need it and it must be provided each and every day and we take it from those that we have established in our fuel network. From lover to lollipop lady, everybody and I mean everybody we interact with is a fuel appliance. The words you use, the tone attached to them, the inflection in your voice, the gestures you make, the things you do, the expression on your face, the sounds you make – all of these provide us with fuel and it has to be caused by us.
If you are crying over the death of your mother, that is not fuel for us. It is fuel for your mother (albeit she didn’t need it when alive and certainly has no use for it now she is cold in the ground). Those tears are wasted and this infuriates us. Thus we will say something hurtful about your pathetic weeping so that you then cry because of what we have said. Your emotional response then is down to us and we gain fuel.
Fuel/Control is the single most important thing to us. We must have control over you and any threat to our control is always met by The 3 Assertions of Control. No fuel and we weaken and ultimately enter a Fuel Crisis.

2. Character Traits

We have built a construct. This construct is like a frame and through the gathering of fuel we are able to then power its maintenance and further development. This construct imprisons The Creature. This construct allows us to show the world what we want to see and thus gain more fuel and the cycle repeats.
Everyone we interact with has the potential to furnish us with character traits which we lift and apply to the construct to make it better, stronger, more attractive and more secure. Each piece of fuel is the paste which enables us to place the shards, segments, patches, pieces and elements of character traits onto the construct and keep them there.
If you wish to understand this in greater detail, read my book Fury.
Your interest in insects, a friend’s sporting achievements, a child’s academic prowess, information from a tertiary source about the best restaurant in Barcelona’s gothic quarter, the humorous anecdotes told by a speaker at an awards dinner, the tales told by a grandparent, the intelligence gathered by a colleague and so on, all of those things become character traits which we will take for ourselves and pass off as our own. We want them and need them from those we interact with. Some have nothing to provide and thus they are less important appliances, but others have many and thus your coruscating, dazzling traits when you are a primary source to us become fundamental as part of the Prime Aims.

3. Residual Benefits

Are you well-off? Have a good house? A car? Access to a particular club? Tickets for sought after games? A famous friend? Excellent carer? Brilliant cook? Social magnet? DIY capable? Good income? Respected community member?
We are entitled and we do not recognise boundaries. Your resources are our resources and the more of those that exist and in different forms, the greater the advantage you possess because of these residual benefits.
These vary dependent on the nature of the narcissist who has ensnared you. We may be financially superior and have a large house, but you are well-thought of by people and have an extensive social circle, political connections and the like, thus we want them.
We may have a physical health problem and therefore the fact that you are a nurse practitioner and exceptionally caring results in those residual benefits becoming the foremost ones.
We may have no job and a rampant cocaine habit, so your well-appointed residence and burgeoning bank account are appealing residual benefits to us.
The list of residual benefits is not exhaustive and they will vary from narcissist to narcissist, but they form a further essential part of this triumvirate.
Thus fuel and control, character traits and residual benefits are the Prime Aims. All appliances are expected to fulfil their obligation to provide us with each element of the Prime Aims, although it is naturally of greater importance concerning the primary source having such applicability.
We are not with you because we love you. We are with you because you as the primary source largely fulfil The Prime Aims and you do so better than anybody else in the Fuel Matrix
We are not friends with you because you are good fun. We are friends with you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We are not flirting with you because you are hot. We are flirting with you because as an Intimate Tertiary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not help you as our sister because we have a sense of duty towards you as a family member. We help you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not have an affair with you because our “wife does not understand us”. We have an affair with you because as a Dirty Little Secret you contribute to The Prime Aims.
You are there to be used. You are in the Fuel Matrix because you contribute, to a greater or lesser extent to The Prime Aims. That is your ONLY function.

Always keep in your mind the relevance of these Prime Aims because this will aid you understanding why certain things are said and done by our kind.
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Good afternoon all. Hope you are well despite the effects of the pandemic on the world.
As victims of love rats we are all aware of their narcissistic traits. Even so their ability to brainwash us from the get-go is very powerful. But exactly are their prime aims? As I read through the article below it reminded me of when my rat “infested” my life and I was able to tick all three boxes. The third aim is probably the most pertinent to us when it comes to these Tunisian love rats. This article is written by a narcissist...so straight from the horse’s mouth. It would be so easy if, as both victims and empaths, we could recognise the red flags before becoming too invested. The more invested we become the less we use our heads when making decisions about or rats. We can see rats for who they are when we are on the outside looking in...such as when we read each other’s stories about our experiences with rats. But when it comes to our own rat our eyes are often only opened when we have gone through the discarded phase and our hurt starts to turn to anger and hatred. So what makes them seek us out in the first place? Here goes!

I have three Prime Aims.

All of our kind has three Prime Aims.
Our dark and menacing behaviours (even when dressed up as the illusory golden period) are focused on the attainment of these three Prime Aims. They are all that matter. Everything else is dust. We are driven to secure these Prime Aims. They are hard-wired into us, they are sub-conscious requirements in most of our kind and amongst the Greater of our brethren we are aware of the necessity of attaining these three things to ensure that not only do we survive but we also thrive. Everything we do, say and concern ourselves with revolves around achieving these three aims. Nothing else matters.
Do we love you? No. We do not know what that truly is but we will use love to secure our Prime Aims. We will desecrate it through our twisted facsimile of what we understand love to be and use it to secure our aims.
Do we want to do good for the disadvantaged around us? No. Yet, if such behaviour will ultimately benefit us through the establishment of a facade which can then be used to further our quest for these Prime Aims then we will become a trustee of that charity or organise a fund raiser for the Orphanage For Unwanted Monobrowed Children.
Do we want to be friends with you because we find your collection of unopened Star Wars figures fascinating? No. We do so because knowing someone with the best collection on the East Coast means that it works in favour of us in terms of attaining the Prime Aims.
Nothing we do is about you. It is all about securing our aims. Admittedly, there will be occasions where we are in alignment and our march with our dark troops by our side to the attainment of the Prime Aims means that you and others benefit. That is pure serendipity and we do not care whether the outcome is good or bad for you, so long as we achieve what we need.
The sooner you grasp and understand that we are focused on securing these Prime Aims and nothing else matters to us, the faster you will be able to formulate your own way to avoid being caught up in their attainment. The Prime Aims and their attainment is the only goal we are interested in and everything else is swept up in the need to achieve them. Children. Job. Home. Wife. Father. Daughter. Friend. Interests. Socialising. Conversations. Money. Status. Manipulation. Connections. Infidelity. Misery. Cruelty. Seduction. Possessions. These and so much more are mere conduits, enablers, bridges to the securing of the Prime Aims.
Never underestimate or fail to recognise the single-mindedness by which our machine like efficiency closes on this goal. You are there to ensure we achieve it. Our faceless Lieutenants and lurking Coterie are there to ensure we achieve it. The secondary and tertiary sources, the facade, the crows, the butterflies, the seduction, the devaluation and the disengagement. The hoovers, oft and repeated or seemingly absent, yet appearing years later are all part of the inextricably linked matrix to achieve the Prime Aims.
So, what are they?
Those of you who have read much of my work will already know what they are, but it is necessary to identify and underline them.

1. Fuel/Control

The chief Prime Aim. The most important one and the overriding objective of our engagements with everybody that we come into contact with. Fuel is the emotional response provided by you ad everybody else, caused by us which signals that we have control over you.It may be indirect, for instance someone smiling at us as we walk by, it may be direct because we have provoked you into crying by calling you names.
Fuel is both positive and negative. It flows from all appliances. It varies in potency dependent on the Fuel Index (see the book Fuel for an expansive explanation of this central factor of what drives our kind) and in terms of its quantity and frequency. Fuel powers us. It quells the anguish and the anxiety, it settles us, it edifies us, it makes us powerful and it causes us to feel impregnable, omnipotent and god-like.
It is our drug. We want it and we need it and it must be provided each and every day and we take it from those that we have established in our fuel network. From lover to lollipop lady, everybody and I mean everybody we interact with is a fuel appliance. The words you use, the tone attached to them, the inflection in your voice, the gestures you make, the things you do, the expression on your face, the sounds you make – all of these provide us with fuel and it has to be caused by us.
If you are crying over the death of your mother, that is not fuel for us. It is fuel for your mother (albeit she didn’t need it when alive and certainly has no use for it now she is cold in the ground). Those tears are wasted and this infuriates us. Thus we will say something hurtful about your pathetic weeping so that you then cry because of what we have said. Your emotional response then is down to us and we gain fuel.
Fuel/Control is the single most important thing to us. We must have control over you and any threat to our control is always met by The 3 Assertions of Control. No fuel and we weaken and ultimately enter a Fuel Crisis.

2. Character Traits

We have built a construct. This construct is like a frame and through the gathering of fuel we are able to then power its maintenance and further development. This construct imprisons The Creature. This construct allows us to show the world what we want to see and thus gain more fuel and the cycle repeats.
Everyone we interact with has the potential to furnish us with character traits which we lift and apply to the construct to make it better, stronger, more attractive and more secure. Each piece of fuel is the paste which enables us to place the shards, segments, patches, pieces and elements of character traits onto the construct and keep them there.
If you wish to understand this in greater detail, read my book Fury.
Your interest in insects, a friend’s sporting achievements, a child’s academic prowess, information from a tertiary source about the best restaurant in Barcelona’s gothic quarter, the humorous anecdotes told by a speaker at an awards dinner, the tales told by a grandparent, the intelligence gathered by a colleague and so on, all of those things become character traits which we will take for ourselves and pass off as our own. We want them and need them from those we interact with. Some have nothing to provide and thus they are less important appliances, but others have many and thus your coruscating, dazzling traits when you are a primary source to us become fundamental as part of the Prime Aims.

3. Residual Benefits

Are you well-off? Have a good house? A car? Access to a particular club? Tickets for sought after games? A famous friend? Excellent carer? Brilliant cook? Social magnet? DIY capable? Good income? Respected community member?
We are entitled and we do not recognise boundaries. Your resources are our resources and the more of those that exist and in different forms, the greater the advantage you possess because of these residual benefits.
These vary dependent on the nature of the narcissist who has ensnared you. We may be financially superior and have a large house, but you are well-thought of by people and have an extensive social circle, political connections and the like, thus we want them.
We may have a physical health problem and therefore the fact that you are a nurse practitioner and exceptionally caring results in those residual benefits becoming the foremost ones.
We may have no job and a rampant cocaine habit, so your well-appointed residence and burgeoning bank account are appealing residual benefits to us.
The list of residual benefits is not exhaustive and they will vary from narcissist to narcissist, but they form a further essential part of this triumvirate.
Thus fuel and control, character traits and residual benefits are the Prime Aims. All appliances are expected to fulfil their obligation to provide us with each element of the Prime Aims, although it is naturally of greater importance concerning the primary source having such applicability.
We are not with you because we love you. We are with you because you as the primary source largely fulfil The Prime Aims and you do so better than anybody else in the Fuel Matrix
We are not friends with you because you are good fun. We are friends with you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We are not flirting with you because you are hot. We are flirting with you because as an Intimate Tertiary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not help you as our sister because we have a sense of duty towards you as a family member. We help you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not have an affair with you because our “wife does not understand us”. We have an affair with you because as a Dirty Little Secret you contribute to The Prime Aims.
You are there to be used. You are in the Fuel Matrix because you contribute, to a greater or lesser extent to The Prime Aims. That is your ONLY function.

Always keep in your mind the relevance of these Prime Aims because this will aid you understanding why certain things are said and done by our kind.
Excellent Article, thank you for sharing♡♡♡♡
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Good afternoon all. Hope you are well despite the effects of the pandemic on the world.
As victims of love rats we are all aware of their narcissistic traits. Even so their ability to brainwash us from the get-go is very powerful. But exactly are their prime aims? As I read through the article below it reminded me of when my rat “infested” my life and I was able to tick all three boxes. The third aim is probably the most pertinent to us when it comes to these Tunisian love rats. This article is written by a narcissist...so straight from the horse’s mouth. It would be so easy if, as both victims and empaths, we could recognise the red flags before becoming too invested. The more invested we become the less we use our heads when making decisions about or rats. We can see rats for who they are when we are on the outside looking in...such as when we read each other’s stories about our experiences with rats. But when it comes to our own rat our eyes are often only opened when we have gone through the discarded phase and our hurt starts to turn to anger and hatred. So what makes them seek us out in the first place? Here goes!

I have three Prime Aims.

All of our kind has three Prime Aims.
Our dark and menacing behaviours (even when dressed up as the illusory golden period) are focused on the attainment of these three Prime Aims. They are all that matter. Everything else is dust. We are driven to secure these Prime Aims. They are hard-wired into us, they are sub-conscious requirements in most of our kind and amongst the Greater of our brethren we are aware of the necessity of attaining these three things to ensure that not only do we survive but we also thrive. Everything we do, say and concern ourselves with revolves around achieving these three aims. Nothing else matters.
Do we love you? No. We do not know what that truly is but we will use love to secure our Prime Aims. We will desecrate it through our twisted facsimile of what we understand love to be and use it to secure our aims.
Do we want to do good for the disadvantaged around us? No. Yet, if such behaviour will ultimately benefit us through the establishment of a facade which can then be used to further our quest for these Prime Aims then we will become a trustee of that charity or organise a fund raiser for the Orphanage For Unwanted Monobrowed Children.
Do we want to be friends with you because we find your collection of unopened Star Wars figures fascinating? No. We do so because knowing someone with the best collection on the East Coast means that it works in favour of us in terms of attaining the Prime Aims.
Nothing we do is about you. It is all about securing our aims. Admittedly, there will be occasions where we are in alignment and our march with our dark troops by our side to the attainment of the Prime Aims means that you and others benefit. That is pure serendipity and we do not care whether the outcome is good or bad for you, so long as we achieve what we need.
The sooner you grasp and understand that we are focused on securing these Prime Aims and nothing else matters to us, the faster you will be able to formulate your own way to avoid being caught up in their attainment. The Prime Aims and their attainment is the only goal we are interested in and everything else is swept up in the need to achieve them. Children. Job. Home. Wife. Father. Daughter. Friend. Interests. Socialising. Conversations. Money. Status. Manipulation. Connections. Infidelity. Misery. Cruelty. Seduction. Possessions. These and so much more are mere conduits, enablers, bridges to the securing of the Prime Aims.
Never underestimate or fail to recognise the single-mindedness by which our machine like efficiency closes on this goal. You are there to ensure we achieve it. Our faceless Lieutenants and lurking Coterie are there to ensure we achieve it. The secondary and tertiary sources, the facade, the crows, the butterflies, the seduction, the devaluation and the disengagement. The hoovers, oft and repeated or seemingly absent, yet appearing years later are all part of the inextricably linked matrix to achieve the Prime Aims.
So, what are they?
Those of you who have read much of my work will already know what they are, but it is necessary to identify and underline them.

1. Fuel/Control

The chief Prime Aim. The most important one and the overriding objective of our engagements with everybody that we come into contact with. Fuel is the emotional response provided by you ad everybody else, caused by us which signals that we have control over you.It may be indirect, for instance someone smiling at us as we walk by, it may be direct because we have provoked you into crying by calling you names.
Fuel is both positive and negative. It flows from all appliances. It varies in potency dependent on the Fuel Index (see the book Fuel for an expansive explanation of this central factor of what drives our kind) and in terms of its quantity and frequency. Fuel powers us. It quells the anguish and the anxiety, it settles us, it edifies us, it makes us powerful and it causes us to feel impregnable, omnipotent and god-like.
It is our drug. We want it and we need it and it must be provided each and every day and we take it from those that we have established in our fuel network. From lover to lollipop lady, everybody and I mean everybody we interact with is a fuel appliance. The words you use, the tone attached to them, the inflection in your voice, the gestures you make, the things you do, the expression on your face, the sounds you make – all of these provide us with fuel and it has to be caused by us.
If you are crying over the death of your mother, that is not fuel for us. It is fuel for your mother (albeit she didn’t need it when alive and certainly has no use for it now she is cold in the ground). Those tears are wasted and this infuriates us. Thus we will say something hurtful about your pathetic weeping so that you then cry because of what we have said. Your emotional response then is down to us and we gain fuel.
Fuel/Control is the single most important thing to us. We must have control over you and any threat to our control is always met by The 3 Assertions of Control. No fuel and we weaken and ultimately enter a Fuel Crisis.

2. Character Traits

We have built a construct. This construct is like a frame and through the gathering of fuel we are able to then power its maintenance and further development. This construct imprisons The Creature. This construct allows us to show the world what we want to see and thus gain more fuel and the cycle repeats.
Everyone we interact with has the potential to furnish us with character traits which we lift and apply to the construct to make it better, stronger, more attractive and more secure. Each piece of fuel is the paste which enables us to place the shards, segments, patches, pieces and elements of character traits onto the construct and keep them there.
If you wish to understand this in greater detail, read my book Fury.
Your interest in insects, a friend’s sporting achievements, a child’s academic prowess, information from a tertiary source about the best restaurant in Barcelona’s gothic quarter, the humorous anecdotes told by a speaker at an awards dinner, the tales told by a grandparent, the intelligence gathered by a colleague and so on, all of those things become character traits which we will take for ourselves and pass off as our own. We want them and need them from those we interact with. Some have nothing to provide and thus they are less important appliances, but others have many and thus your coruscating, dazzling traits when you are a primary source to us become fundamental as part of the Prime Aims.

3. Residual Benefits

Are you well-off? Have a good house? A car? Access to a particular club? Tickets for sought after games? A famous friend? Excellent carer? Brilliant cook? Social magnet? DIY capable? Good income? Respected community member?
We are entitled and we do not recognise boundaries. Your resources are our resources and the more of those that exist and in different forms, the greater the advantage you possess because of these residual benefits.
These vary dependent on the nature of the narcissist who has ensnared you. We may be financially superior and have a large house, but you are well-thought of by people and have an extensive social circle, political connections and the like, thus we want them.
We may have a physical health problem and therefore the fact that you are a nurse practitioner and exceptionally caring results in those residual benefits becoming the foremost ones.
We may have no job and a rampant cocaine habit, so your well-appointed residence and burgeoning bank account are appealing residual benefits to us.
The list of residual benefits is not exhaustive and they will vary from narcissist to narcissist, but they form a further essential part of this triumvirate.
Thus fuel and control, character traits and residual benefits are the Prime Aims. All appliances are expected to fulfil their obligation to provide us with each element of the Prime Aims, although it is naturally of greater importance concerning the primary source having such applicability.
We are not with you because we love you. We are with you because you as the primary source largely fulfil The Prime Aims and you do so better than anybody else in the Fuel Matrix
We are not friends with you because you are good fun. We are friends with you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We are not flirting with you because you are hot. We are flirting with you because as an Intimate Tertiary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not help you as our sister because we have a sense of duty towards you as a family member. We help you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not have an affair with you because our “wife does not understand us”. We have an affair with you because as a Dirty Little Secret you contribute to The Prime Aims.
You are there to be used. You are in the Fuel Matrix because you contribute, to a greater or lesser extent to The Prime Aims. That is your ONLY function.

Always keep in your mind the relevance of these Prime Aims because this will aid you understanding why certain things are said and done by our kind.
Thank you, great post and so much resonates with most of us - it is one of the worst traits anyone can have!

MH x
 

Bee.

Ratslayer
Good afternoon all. Hope you are well despite the effects of the pandemic on the world.
As victims of love rats we are all aware of their narcissistic traits. Even so their ability to brainwash us from the get-go is very powerful. But exactly are their prime aims? As I read through the article below it reminded me of when my rat “infested” my life and I was able to tick all three boxes. The third aim is probably the most pertinent to us when it comes to these Tunisian love rats. This article is written by a narcissist...so straight from the horse’s mouth. It would be so easy if, as both victims and empaths, we could recognise the red flags before becoming too invested. The more invested we become the less we use our heads when making decisions about or rats. We can see rats for who they are when we are on the outside looking in...such as when we read each other’s stories about our experiences with rats. But when it comes to our own rat our eyes are often only opened when we have gone through the discarded phase and our hurt starts to turn to anger and hatred. So what makes them seek us out in the first place? Here goes!

I have three Prime Aims.

All of our kind has three Prime Aims.
Our dark and menacing behaviours (even when dressed up as the illusory golden period) are focused on the attainment of these three Prime Aims. They are all that matter. Everything else is dust. We are driven to secure these Prime Aims. They are hard-wired into us, they are sub-conscious requirements in most of our kind and amongst the Greater of our brethren we are aware of the necessity of attaining these three things to ensure that not only do we survive but we also thrive. Everything we do, say and concern ourselves with revolves around achieving these three aims. Nothing else matters.
Do we love you? No. We do not know what that truly is but we will use love to secure our Prime Aims. We will desecrate it through our twisted facsimile of what we understand love to be and use it to secure our aims.
Do we want to do good for the disadvantaged around us? No. Yet, if such behaviour will ultimately benefit us through the establishment of a facade which can then be used to further our quest for these Prime Aims then we will become a trustee of that charity or organise a fund raiser for the Orphanage For Unwanted Monobrowed Children.
Do we want to be friends with you because we find your collection of unopened Star Wars figures fascinating? No. We do so because knowing someone with the best collection on the East Coast means that it works in favour of us in terms of attaining the Prime Aims.
Nothing we do is about you. It is all about securing our aims. Admittedly, there will be occasions where we are in alignment and our march with our dark troops by our side to the attainment of the Prime Aims means that you and others benefit. That is pure serendipity and we do not care whether the outcome is good or bad for you, so long as we achieve what we need.
The sooner you grasp and understand that we are focused on securing these Prime Aims and nothing else matters to us, the faster you will be able to formulate your own way to avoid being caught up in their attainment. The Prime Aims and their attainment is the only goal we are interested in and everything else is swept up in the need to achieve them. Children. Job. Home. Wife. Father. Daughter. Friend. Interests. Socialising. Conversations. Money. Status. Manipulation. Connections. Infidelity. Misery. Cruelty. Seduction. Possessions. These and so much more are mere conduits, enablers, bridges to the securing of the Prime Aims.
Never underestimate or fail to recognise the single-mindedness by which our machine like efficiency closes on this goal. You are there to ensure we achieve it. Our faceless Lieutenants and lurking Coterie are there to ensure we achieve it. The secondary and tertiary sources, the facade, the crows, the butterflies, the seduction, the devaluation and the disengagement. The hoovers, oft and repeated or seemingly absent, yet appearing years later are all part of the inextricably linked matrix to achieve the Prime Aims.
So, what are they?
Those of you who have read much of my work will already know what they are, but it is necessary to identify and underline them.

1. Fuel/Control

The chief Prime Aim. The most important one and the overriding objective of our engagements with everybody that we come into contact with. Fuel is the emotional response provided by you ad everybody else, caused by us which signals that we have control over you.It may be indirect, for instance someone smiling at us as we walk by, it may be direct because we have provoked you into crying by calling you names.
Fuel is both positive and negative. It flows from all appliances. It varies in potency dependent on the Fuel Index (see the book Fuel for an expansive explanation of this central factor of what drives our kind) and in terms of its quantity and frequency. Fuel powers us. It quells the anguish and the anxiety, it settles us, it edifies us, it makes us powerful and it causes us to feel impregnable, omnipotent and god-like.
It is our drug. We want it and we need it and it must be provided each and every day and we take it from those that we have established in our fuel network. From lover to lollipop lady, everybody and I mean everybody we interact with is a fuel appliance. The words you use, the tone attached to them, the inflection in your voice, the gestures you make, the things you do, the expression on your face, the sounds you make – all of these provide us with fuel and it has to be caused by us.
If you are crying over the death of your mother, that is not fuel for us. It is fuel for your mother (albeit she didn’t need it when alive and certainly has no use for it now she is cold in the ground). Those tears are wasted and this infuriates us. Thus we will say something hurtful about your pathetic weeping so that you then cry because of what we have said. Your emotional response then is down to us and we gain fuel.
Fuel/Control is the single most important thing to us. We must have control over you and any threat to our control is always met by The 3 Assertions of Control. No fuel and we weaken and ultimately enter a Fuel Crisis.

2. Character Traits

We have built a construct. This construct is like a frame and through the gathering of fuel we are able to then power its maintenance and further development. This construct imprisons The Creature. This construct allows us to show the world what we want to see and thus gain more fuel and the cycle repeats.
Everyone we interact with has the potential to furnish us with character traits which we lift and apply to the construct to make it better, stronger, more attractive and more secure. Each piece of fuel is the paste which enables us to place the shards, segments, patches, pieces and elements of character traits onto the construct and keep them there.
If you wish to understand this in greater detail, read my book Fury.
Your interest in insects, a friend’s sporting achievements, a child’s academic prowess, information from a tertiary source about the best restaurant in Barcelona’s gothic quarter, the humorous anecdotes told by a speaker at an awards dinner, the tales told by a grandparent, the intelligence gathered by a colleague and so on, all of those things become character traits which we will take for ourselves and pass off as our own. We want them and need them from those we interact with. Some have nothing to provide and thus they are less important appliances, but others have many and thus your coruscating, dazzling traits when you are a primary source to us become fundamental as part of the Prime Aims.

3. Residual Benefits

Are you well-off? Have a good house? A car? Access to a particular club? Tickets for sought after games? A famous friend? Excellent carer? Brilliant cook? Social magnet? DIY capable? Good income? Respected community member?
We are entitled and we do not recognise boundaries. Your resources are our resources and the more of those that exist and in different forms, the greater the advantage you possess because of these residual benefits.
These vary dependent on the nature of the narcissist who has ensnared you. We may be financially superior and have a large house, but you are well-thought of by people and have an extensive social circle, political connections and the like, thus we want them.
We may have a physical health problem and therefore the fact that you are a nurse practitioner and exceptionally caring results in those residual benefits becoming the foremost ones.
We may have no job and a rampant cocaine habit, so your well-appointed residence and burgeoning bank account are appealing residual benefits to us.
The list of residual benefits is not exhaustive and they will vary from narcissist to narcissist, but they form a further essential part of this triumvirate.
Thus fuel and control, character traits and residual benefits are the Prime Aims. All appliances are expected to fulfil their obligation to provide us with each element of the Prime Aims, although it is naturally of greater importance concerning the primary source having such applicability.
We are not with you because we love you. We are with you because you as the primary source largely fulfil The Prime Aims and you do so better than anybody else in the Fuel Matrix
We are not friends with you because you are good fun. We are friends with you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We are not flirting with you because you are hot. We are flirting with you because as an Intimate Tertiary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not help you as our sister because we have a sense of duty towards you as a family member. We help you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not have an affair with you because our “wife does not understand us”. We have an affair with you because as a Dirty Little Secret you contribute to The Prime Aims.
You are there to be used. You are in the Fuel Matrix because you contribute, to a greater or lesser extent to The Prime Aims. That is your ONLY function.

Always keep in your mind the relevance of these Prime Aims because this will aid you understanding why certain things are said and done by our kind.
wow thankyou this is a great article
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Hi @Mica I hope you are well and enjoying your week. Here is the link to H.G. Tudor’s website Knowing the Narcissist. https://narcsite.com/ You can subscribe to his page on here. I have been receiving emails of his posts for a few years now and they have really opened my eyes to the ins and outs of narcissists. It was after finding his site and stumbling across this Tunisian Loverats site that I started understanding just how narcissistic my rat was and it both helped me on the road to recovery. There are certain articles that are from books that need to be bought in order to be read. However there are loads of free articles and they are so interesting. Definitely worth subscribing to.☺️☺️☺️
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
wow thankyou this is a great article
Thank you @Bee. This site has taught me a lot about narcissists and the mindset of my rat. It opened my eyes and wish I had come across TLR and H.G Tudor before ending up a victim of a Love Rat. If nothing else both have armed me with knowledge I need to keep myself from becoming entangled with another love rat. I never want to go through such an experience ever again. I’ll be keeping rat poison with me wherever I go.
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Thank you, great post and so much resonates with most of us - it is one of the worst traits anyone can have!

MH x
I couldn’t agree with you more @MH007. The more we read about narcissists and their traits the more we wonder how we couldn’t read the signs....or see the red flags. The more we know about their kind the more equipped we are to help others and to see the red flags when such a person crosses our path especially if, like with Tunisian love rats, we find ourselves being drawn in with love-bombing commencing before they even know our surname or anything about us really. If we could see the signs with our minds we wouldn’t give our hearts time to be blinded by these rats. Hope you have an enjoyable Friday lovely lady. xx
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Great read and every word rings true . Thanks so much for this. My rat was a true narcissist
My pleasure @Seldon# A couple of days ago I read through the entire thread about the story of your experience with your rat. When I read this narcissist article your story actually came to mind....especially regarding all the money your rat managed to suck out of you. It made me grateful that mine never asked for any money from me during our 3 year interaction online. Although he pled poverty and how difficult it was for him to find work, most of our video chats were of him slouching on his bed in his vest and shorts with his mum working in the background moaning that he needed to get off his lazy backside and get a job. He would be rolling his eyeballs throughout. His primary aim was a visa to the U.K. so after the “golden period” when loads of love-bombing was taking place and I was becoming totally besotted with him, he slowly started pushing for us to get married. It concerned me that he wanted me over there ASAP so we could marry and I could “stay with his family” while I was there. I saw that as a red flag but of course my “heart knew better than my mind”. What a fool I was! When I wasn’t rushing to make things happen he started putting me on the guilt trip by telling me that he would be forced to do military service and then we’d have no chance of being together. He was a master of blame-shifting. He’d be romantic for about 4 to 5 days and then the topic of marriage/military service would be brought up once more. He had a qualification as an electrical engineer...although I am not that sure it was even legitimate. He told me he was willing to be a waiter/cleaner/street sweeper etc. if it meant we could be together. It sounded so romantic but in the same breath so unconvincing. Around that time the 17 year age difference started to bother be. I wanted to be with him but the thought of being seen in public with a man who was young enough to be my son soon started to disturb me. I’m 5ft2 and he is 6ft4. I had images of me fitting under his armpit and everyone looking at us as we walked around in public. These thoughts put me off despite me loving him as much as I did...or, as I know now, being addicted to him as much as I was. I knew the visa was the main aim and once he had Indefinite Leave to Remain I would be discarded as my use as an appliance would be over. When he realised that I was not pushing for things to happen his mask started to come off and I started seeing the narcissist behind the innocent face. He forged documents and scammed his way illegally into the US and wasted no time in finding a victim...who he ended up marrying. Poor woman. She doesn’t know the monster she married. He started confiding in me as I was no longer a prospect for marriage but he had already divulged so much to me about his plans to go to America and claim asylum. After his engagement he wasted no time to convince his future wife to have sex with him. She wanted to wait until they married...but you know how convincing these rats are. She eventually gave in but little did she know their live-making sessions were being secretly filmed and shown to his fellow rats back in Tunisia. I was horrified and was sure he would have done the same to me. My escape from his clutches was a true blessing in disguise. I saw the rat for who he really was and I did not like it one bit! I so wanted to expose him (and still do) but he has stuff on me too which has forced me to keep my mouth shut. I went through a lot of heartache towards the end but knew I would have to go “no-contact” if I wanted to be freed from the addiction. Lots of tears were shed and I had a lot of regrets. My last message to him was short and sweet. I told him that I wanted his wife to be happy..that she deserved it...and that I hoped he would never cheat on her after marriage. He cheated on her with both men and women whilst engaged to her. Heaven only knows if he has remained faithful since they married 2 years ago. My final words were, “I wish I had never fallen for you and that you had just remained a Facebook friend with whom I hardly had any contact.” Don’t be fooled by your rat. You can be sure he also has his own story behind the one you know. I have blocked him on all social media and on my phone and we have had no contact for 2 years. He blocked me on LinkedIn and I can’t block him back. It is a professional platform so they don’t give the option as they don’t expect blocked contacts to need to block those who blocked them. If the day ever comes when he unblocks me on there I’ll be waiting to hit that final nail in the coffin. I hope and prey you can get your rat out of your system. He is not worth the time or energy. You deserve so much more. Stay strong. xxx
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Good afternoon all. Hope you are well despite the effects of the pandemic on the world.
As victims of love rats we are all aware of their narcissistic traits. Even so their ability to brainwash us from the get-go is very powerful. But exactly are their prime aims? As I read through the article below it reminded me of when my rat “infested” my life and I was able to tick all three boxes. The third aim is probably the most pertinent to us when it comes to these Tunisian love rats. This article is written by a narcissist...so straight from the horse’s mouth. It would be so easy if, as both victims and empaths, we could recognise the red flags before becoming too invested. The more invested we become the less we use our heads when making decisions about or rats. We can see rats for who they are when we are on the outside looking in...such as when we read each other’s stories about our experiences with rats. But when it comes to our own rat our eyes are often only opened when we have gone through the discarded phase and our hurt starts to turn to anger and hatred. So what makes them seek us out in the first place? Here goes!

I have three Prime Aims.

All of our kind has three Prime Aims.
Our dark and menacing behaviours (even when dressed up as the illusory golden period) are focused on the attainment of these three Prime Aims. They are all that matter. Everything else is dust. We are driven to secure these Prime Aims. They are hard-wired into us, they are sub-conscious requirements in most of our kind and amongst the Greater of our brethren we are aware of the necessity of attaining these three things to ensure that not only do we survive but we also thrive. Everything we do, say and concern ourselves with revolves around achieving these three aims. Nothing else matters.
Do we love you? No. We do not know what that truly is but we will use love to secure our Prime Aims. We will desecrate it through our twisted facsimile of what we understand love to be and use it to secure our aims.
Do we want to do good for the disadvantaged around us? No. Yet, if such behaviour will ultimately benefit us through the establishment of a facade which can then be used to further our quest for these Prime Aims then we will become a trustee of that charity or organise a fund raiser for the Orphanage For Unwanted Monobrowed Children.
Do we want to be friends with you because we find your collection of unopened Star Wars figures fascinating? No. We do so because knowing someone with the best collection on the East Coast means that it works in favour of us in terms of attaining the Prime Aims.
Nothing we do is about you. It is all about securing our aims. Admittedly, there will be occasions where we are in alignment and our march with our dark troops by our side to the attainment of the Prime Aims means that you and others benefit. That is pure serendipity and we do not care whether the outcome is good or bad for you, so long as we achieve what we need.
The sooner you grasp and understand that we are focused on securing these Prime Aims and nothing else matters to us, the faster you will be able to formulate your own way to avoid being caught up in their attainment. The Prime Aims and their attainment is the only goal we are interested in and everything else is swept up in the need to achieve them. Children. Job. Home. Wife. Father. Daughter. Friend. Interests. Socialising. Conversations. Money. Status. Manipulation. Connections. Infidelity. Misery. Cruelty. Seduction. Possessions. These and so much more are mere conduits, enablers, bridges to the securing of the Prime Aims.
Never underestimate or fail to recognise the single-mindedness by which our machine like efficiency closes on this goal. You are there to ensure we achieve it. Our faceless Lieutenants and lurking Coterie are there to ensure we achieve it. The secondary and tertiary sources, the facade, the crows, the butterflies, the seduction, the devaluation and the disengagement. The hoovers, oft and repeated or seemingly absent, yet appearing years later are all part of the inextricably linked matrix to achieve the Prime Aims.
So, what are they?
Those of you who have read much of my work will already know what they are, but it is necessary to identify and underline them.

1. Fuel/Control

The chief Prime Aim. The most important one and the overriding objective of our engagements with everybody that we come into contact with. Fuel is the emotional response provided by you ad everybody else, caused by us which signals that we have control over you.It may be indirect, for instance someone smiling at us as we walk by, it may be direct because we have provoked you into crying by calling you names.
Fuel is both positive and negative. It flows from all appliances. It varies in potency dependent on the Fuel Index (see the book Fuel for an expansive explanation of this central factor of what drives our kind) and in terms of its quantity and frequency. Fuel powers us. It quells the anguish and the anxiety, it settles us, it edifies us, it makes us powerful and it causes us to feel impregnable, omnipotent and god-like.
It is our drug. We want it and we need it and it must be provided each and every day and we take it from those that we have established in our fuel network. From lover to lollipop lady, everybody and I mean everybody we interact with is a fuel appliance. The words you use, the tone attached to them, the inflection in your voice, the gestures you make, the things you do, the expression on your face, the sounds you make – all of these provide us with fuel and it has to be caused by us.
If you are crying over the death of your mother, that is not fuel for us. It is fuel for your mother (albeit she didn’t need it when alive and certainly has no use for it now she is cold in the ground). Those tears are wasted and this infuriates us. Thus we will say something hurtful about your pathetic weeping so that you then cry because of what we have said. Your emotional response then is down to us and we gain fuel.
Fuel/Control is the single most important thing to us. We must have control over you and any threat to our control is always met by The 3 Assertions of Control. No fuel and we weaken and ultimately enter a Fuel Crisis.

2. Character Traits

We have built a construct. This construct is like a frame and through the gathering of fuel we are able to then power its maintenance and further development. This construct imprisons The Creature. This construct allows us to show the world what we want to see and thus gain more fuel and the cycle repeats.
Everyone we interact with has the potential to furnish us with character traits which we lift and apply to the construct to make it better, stronger, more attractive and more secure. Each piece of fuel is the paste which enables us to place the shards, segments, patches, pieces and elements of character traits onto the construct and keep them there.
If you wish to understand this in greater detail, read my book Fury.
Your interest in insects, a friend’s sporting achievements, a child’s academic prowess, information from a tertiary source about the best restaurant in Barcelona’s gothic quarter, the humorous anecdotes told by a speaker at an awards dinner, the tales told by a grandparent, the intelligence gathered by a colleague and so on, all of those things become character traits which we will take for ourselves and pass off as our own. We want them and need them from those we interact with. Some have nothing to provide and thus they are less important appliances, but others have many and thus your coruscating, dazzling traits when you are a primary source to us become fundamental as part of the Prime Aims.

3. Residual Benefits

Are you well-off? Have a good house? A car? Access to a particular club? Tickets for sought after games? A famous friend? Excellent carer? Brilliant cook? Social magnet? DIY capable? Good income? Respected community member?
We are entitled and we do not recognise boundaries. Your resources are our resources and the more of those that exist and in different forms, the greater the advantage you possess because of these residual benefits.
These vary dependent on the nature of the narcissist who has ensnared you. We may be financially superior and have a large house, but you are well-thought of by people and have an extensive social circle, political connections and the like, thus we want them.
We may have a physical health problem and therefore the fact that you are a nurse practitioner and exceptionally caring results in those residual benefits becoming the foremost ones.
We may have no job and a rampant cocaine habit, so your well-appointed residence and burgeoning bank account are appealing residual benefits to us.
The list of residual benefits is not exhaustive and they will vary from narcissist to narcissist, but they form a further essential part of this triumvirate.
Thus fuel and control, character traits and residual benefits are the Prime Aims. All appliances are expected to fulfil their obligation to provide us with each element of the Prime Aims, although it is naturally of greater importance concerning the primary source having such applicability.
We are not with you because we love you. We are with you because you as the primary source largely fulfil The Prime Aims and you do so better than anybody else in the Fuel Matrix
We are not friends with you because you are good fun. We are friends with you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We are not flirting with you because you are hot. We are flirting with you because as an Intimate Tertiary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not help you as our sister because we have a sense of duty towards you as a family member. We help you because as a Non Intimate Secondary Source you contribute to The Prime Aims.
We do not have an affair with you because our “wife does not understand us”. We have an affair with you because as a Dirty Little Secret you contribute to The Prime Aims.
You are there to be used. You are in the Fuel Matrix because you contribute, to a greater or lesser extent to The Prime Aims. That is your ONLY function.

Always keep in your mind the relevance of these Prime Aims because this will aid you understanding why certain things are said and done by our kind.
Fantastic, it all makes sense.
 

Seldon#marg

Major Ratslayer
My pleasure @Seldon# A couple of days ago I read through the entire thread about the story of your experience with your rat. When I read this narcissist article your story actually came to mind....especially regarding all the money your rat managed to suck out of you. It made me grateful that mine never asked for any money from me during our 3 year interaction online. Although he pled poverty and how difficult it was for him to find work, most of our video chats were of him slouching on his bed in his vest and shorts with his mum working in the background moaning that he needed to get off his lazy backside and get a job. He would be rolling his eyeballs throughout. His primary aim was a visa to the U.K. so after the “golden period” when loads of love-bombing was taking place and I was becoming totally besotted with him, he slowly started pushing for us to get married. It concerned me that he wanted me over there ASAP so we could marry and I could “stay with his family” while I was there. I saw that as a red flag but of course my “heart knew better than my mind”. What a fool I was! When I wasn’t rushing to make things happen he started putting me on the guilt trip by telling me that he would be forced to do military service and then we’d have no chance of being together. He was a master of blame-shifting. He’d be romantic for about 4 to 5 days and then the topic of marriage/military service would be brought up once more. He had a qualification as an electrical engineer...although I am not that sure it was even legitimate. He told me he was willing to be a waiter/cleaner/street sweeper etc. if it meant we could be together. It sounded so romantic but in the same breath so unconvincing. Around that time the 17 year age difference started to bother be. I wanted to be with him but the thought of being seen in public with a man who was young enough to be my son soon started to disturb me. I’m 5ft2 and he is 6ft4. I had images of me fitting under his armpit and everyone looking at us as we walked around in public. These thoughts put me off despite me loving him as much as I did...or, as I know now, being addicted to him as much as I was. I knew the visa was the main aim and once he had Indefinite Leave to Remain I would be discarded as my use as an appliance would be over. When he realised that I was not pushing for things to happen his mask started to come off and I started seeing the narcissist behind the innocent face. He forged documents and scammed his way illegally into the US and wasted no time in finding a victim...who he ended up marrying. Poor woman. She doesn’t know the monster she married. He started confiding in me as I was no longer a prospect for marriage but he had already divulged so much to me about his plans to go to America and claim asylum. After his engagement he wasted no time to convince his future wife to have sex with him. She wanted to wait until they married...but you know how convincing these rats are. She eventually gave in but little did she know their live-making sessions were being secretly filmed and shown to his fellow rats back in Tunisia. I was horrified and was sure he would have done the same to me. My escape from his clutches was a true blessing in disguise. I saw the rat for who he really was and I did not like it one bit! I so wanted to expose him (and still do) but he has stuff on me too which has forced me to keep my mouth shut. I went through a lot of heartache towards the end but knew I would have to go “no-contact” if I wanted to be freed from the addiction. Lots of tears were shed and I had a lot of regrets. My last message to him was short and sweet. I told him that I wanted his wife to be happy..that she deserved it...and that I hoped he would never cheat on her after marriage. He cheated on her with both men and women whilst engaged to her. Heaven only knows if he has remained faithful since they married 2 years ago. My final words were, “I wish I had never fallen for you and that you had just remained a Facebook friend with whom I hardly had any contact.” Don’t be fooled by your rat. You can be sure he also has his own story behind the one you know. I have blocked him on all social media and on my phone and we have had no contact for 2 years. He blocked me on LinkedIn and I can’t block him back. It is a professional platform so they don’t give the option as they don’t expect blocked contacts to need to block those who blocked them. If the day ever comes when he unblocks me on there I’ll be waiting to hit that final nail in the coffin. I hope and prey you can get your rat out of your system. He is not worth the time or energy. You deserve so much more. Stay strong. xxx


Thank you . Posts like this and you ladies I can honestly say its the only thing keeping me strong right now and stopping me from contacting him anymore and never ever again. If I never found this page I'd still be begging him to talk to me. Like you said we don't live them but they are like a drug we kind of become addicted to them.. we know they bad for our health and mental state but we can't get enough. Now I've read alot and I've taken my rose tinted glasses off and I can see right through all his sweet words and endless lies and know it was an act. Thank you for sharing your story too, this is what also helps yo know that we're not the only person in the world to feel broken and used as we're all going through or been through the same and there will sadly be many many more to follow. I wish we could know all the women and warn them before they even speak to these rats to read here first I only wish I did but it wasn't until the last week I found this page. It definitely needs to be talked about more. I've even thought about going to my local paper or approaching a magazine about it all
 

CutePixie

Junior Rat Expert
Interesting. I've been reading a lot about narcissism recently, and it all rings true. The self-importance, the entitlement, believing that they're really popular and superior to others, lack of empathy. Mine has many of the traits, and contacts me intermittently to remind me that it's my fault that he has to work all the time as I won't fund his fantasies. I'll be surprised if he keeps it up and manages to fund his latest scheme!
 

Seldon#marg

Major Ratslayer
Interesting. I've been reading a lot about narcissism recently, and it all rings true. The self-importance, the entitlement, believing that they're really popular and superior to others, lack of empathy. Mine has many of the traits, and contacts me intermittently to remind me that it's my fault that he has to work all the time as I won't fund his fantasies. I'll be surprised if he keeps it up and manages to fund his latest scheme!

I totally agree especially that they believe they are really popular to others and blame us for many things. X
 

dumped

Junior Rat Expert
Very interesting reading
The sad thing is it revolves time and time
again with new victims
Why are we women so gullible to this?
It is not the sort of behaviour we would accept with men in our own country!
So why do we allow it to happen?
How many years has this been going on
Is it social media putting us all into fantasy land and not reality?
Who knows
But I wish we could stop others from getting hurt
 

Seldon#marg

Major Ratslayer
Very interesting reading
The sad thing is it revolves time and time
again with new victims
Why are we women so gullible to this?
It is not the sort of behaviour we would accept with men in our own country!
So why do we allow it to happen?
How many years has this been going on
Is it social media putting us all into fantasy land and not reality?
Who knows
But I wish we could stop others from getting hurt
Me too I wish there was a way if warning all women if my rat.. I wish I had a private jet and I'd fly around every town ,city and country with a huge banner ... stay away from anis jouini followed by his photo hehe he.
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Me too I wish there was a way if warning all women if my rat.. I wish I had a private jet and I'd fly around every town ,city and country with a huge banner ... stay away from anis jouini followed by his photo hehe he.
Hahaha! I would love to do the same. I had a good chuckle with that image in my mind. I have several pics of him on Messenger and I would print his least flattering one along with his name. Wow! Wish I knew some rich and famous people to do that for me. I wonder how he would react if he was sitting at home with his feet up watching the news with his wife....and the private jet with the banner attached suddenly appeared on the screen. He’d have some serious explaining to do. Hahaha!
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Very interesting reading
The sad thing is it revolves time and time
again with new victims
Why are we women so gullible to this?
It is not the sort of behaviour we would accept with men in our own country!
So why do we allow it to happen?
How many years has this been going on
Is it social media putting us all into fantasy land and not reality?
Who knows
But I wish we could stop others from getting hurt
These are questions I have asked as well. I have always been weary of men until I get to know them. Perhaps that has something to do with my fascination with true crime (I blame my mum’s side of the family). In a court of law the general consensus is that a person is innocent until proven guilty. When it comes to men they are untrustworthy until proven trustworthy...and that takes time. I might add that I am referring to men I have met in person. Then we have social media where we meet complete strangers online, befriend them and see them as amazing despite never meeting them in person or knowing if what they tell us is true. We would be more weary if we had the same interaction in person. Would we immediately invite a stranger into our circle of friends and open ourselves up to them without knowing anything about them? This is basically what we do on social media. We don’t know if some of those people are abusers, pedophiles, rapists or have a rap sheet that could take us forever to read. That is why these narcissistic rats can so easily con us. They tell us what we want to hear, show us what we want to see and we become completely intoxicated and addicted to them. They portray themselves as the “Prince Charming” we’ve always dreamt of meeting. When we see other women being scammed by rats we don’t see things the same way. We may ask how those women can’t see how they are being used, conned and taken for a ride. However, when we’re the victim we don’t see the bad things. We fall for their charms and we are quickly wrapped around their finger. They’ve had plenty of practice and are masters of deception. Although I can now easily interact with family and friends who live on the other side of the world, at times I wish social media never existed. I don’t know how these Tunisian rats used to operate before social media (apart from scamming innocent tourists in person). They now have the world at their feet and can be whoever they want to be behind their computer screens. Sadly we are far too gullible and fall for their false charms. They are like an incurable disease...a virus that puts COVID in the shade....and sadly they will never go away. Pity there isn’t a vaccine to protect us from coming into contact with these darn rats!!!
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
I totally agree especially that they believe they are really popular to others and blame us for many things. X
Indeed they do think they are the bee’s knees and that everyone loves and admires them. They do love playing the blame game. They could never be at fault. It’s our fault that they can’t move to our country, that they have to do military service, that they have to struggle because we can’t give them money, that they or their “family members” might die because we can’t pay for their operation....we are supposed to love them after all. They are full of crap and I hate the fact that we become so easily tangled in their web. Where’s the rodent killer?
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
These are questions I have asked as well. I have always been weary of men until I get to know them. Perhaps that has something to do with my fascination with true crime (I blame my mum’s side of the family). In a court of law the general consensus is that a person is innocent until proven guilty. When it comes to men they are untrustworthy until proven trustworthy...and that takes time. I might add that I am referring to men I have met in person. Then we have social media where we meet complete strangers online, befriend them and see them as amazing despite never meeting them in person or knowing if what they tell us is true. We would be more weary if we had the same interaction in person. Would we immediately invite a stranger into our circle of friends and open ourselves up to them without knowing anything about them? This is basically what we do on social media. We don’t know if some of those people are abusers, pedophiles, rapists or have a rap sheet that could take us forever to read. That is why these narcissistic rats can so easily con us. They tell us what we want to hear, show us what we want to see and we become completely intoxicated and addicted to them. They portray themselves as the “Prince Charming” we’ve always dreamt of meeting. When we see other women being scammed by rats we don’t see things the same way. We may ask how those women can’t see how they are being used, conned and taken for a ride. However, when we’re the victim we don’t see the bad things. We fall for their charms and we are quickly wrapped around their finger. They’ve had plenty of practice and are masters of deception. Although I can now easily interact with family and friends who live on the other side of the world, at times I wish social media never existed. I don’t know how these Tunisian rats used to operate before social media (apart from scamming innocent tourists in person). They now have the world at their feet and can be whoever they want to be behind their computer screens. Sadly we are far too gullible and fall for their false charms. They are like an incurable disease...a virus that puts COVID in the shade....and sadly they will never go away. Pity there isn’t a vaccine to protect us from coming into contact with these darn rats!!!
I just refuse to talk to anyone on social media. Talked to enough to know they are all the same
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
These are questions I have asked as well. I have always been weary of men until I get to know them. Perhaps that has something to do with my fascination with true crime (I blame my mum’s side of the family). In a court of law the general consensus is that a person is innocent until proven guilty. When it comes to men they are untrustworthy until proven trustworthy...and that takes time. I might add that I am referring to men I have met in person. Then we have social media where we meet complete strangers online, befriend them and see them as amazing despite never meeting them in person or knowing if what they tell us is true. We would be more weary if we had the same interaction in person. Would we immediately invite a stranger into our circle of friends and open ourselves up to them without knowing anything about them? This is basically what we do on social media. We don’t know if some of those people are abusers, pedophiles, rapists or have a rap sheet that could take us forever to read. That is why these narcissistic rats can so easily con us. They tell us what we want to hear, show us what we want to see and we become completely intoxicated and addicted to them. They portray themselves as the “Prince Charming” we’ve always dreamt of meeting. When we see other women being scammed by rats we don’t see things the same way. We may ask how those women can’t see how they are being used, conned and taken for a ride. However, when we’re the victim we don’t see the bad things. We fall for their charms and we are quickly wrapped around their finger. They’ve had plenty of practice and are masters of deception. Although I can now easily interact with family and friends who live on the other side of the world, at times I wish social media never existed. I don’t know how these Tunisian rats used to operate before social media (apart from scamming innocent tourists in person). They now have the world at their feet and can be whoever they want to be behind their computer screens. Sadly we are far too gullible and fall for their false charms. They are like an incurable disease...a virus that puts COVID in the shade....and sadly they will never go away. Pity there isn’t a vaccine to protect us from coming into contact with these darn rats!!!
Brilliant post!!!
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Interesting. I've been reading a lot about narcissism recently, and it all rings true. The self-importance, the entitlement, believing that they're really popular and superior to others, lack of empathy. Mine has many of the traits, and contacts me intermittently to remind me that it's my fault that he has to work all the time as I won't fund his fantasies. I'll be surprised if he keeps it up and manages to fund his latest scheme!
I feel blessed that mine hasn’t tried to contact me. He is as narcissistic and yet when you first meet him (online and I’m sure in person too) he comes across as gentle, interesting, friendly and empathetic. These are the traits that attracted me to him. Once he could see that I wasn’t going to budge regarding marriage and him obtaining a visa to stay in the U.K.,his mask started to fall off and I started seeing the person he really was. He was a master of manipulation and I was sucked deep into his world without even realising it. His English was impeccable....both written and spoken...and he was well educated (assuming his qualification wasn’t a fake). He gave no impression of being a love rat...except when we would chat on WhatsApp and he would always be wearing what looked like the same shorts and white vest. He thought he was handsome and that all the girls in Tunisia wanted him (but of course he only had eyes for me....hahaha!). He wishes! I fell for his lies because I wanted him to be my Prince Charming. I was blinded by love (or perhaps addiction). I can only pray that his wife doesn’t take years before she removes the rose tinted glasses and also sees him for who he really is. I’m glad I never funded any of his fantasies. If I had I would most likely have ended up sleeping on the streets. He was bad news and the epitome of evil...in a good looking body. Such a waste!!! xxx
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I feel blessed that mine hasn’t tried to contact me. He is as narcissistic and yet when you first meet him (online and I’m sure in person too) he comes across as gentle, interesting, friendly and empathetic. These are the traits that attracted me to him. Once he could see that I wasn’t going to budge regarding marriage and him obtaining a visa to stay in the U.K.,his mask started to fall off and I started seeing the person he really was. He was a master of manipulation and I was sucked deep into his world without even realising it. His English was impeccable....both written and spoken...and he was well educated (assuming his qualification wasn’t a fake). He gave no impression of being a love rat...except when we would chat on WhatsApp and he would always be wearing what looked like the same shorts and white vest. He thought he was handsome and that all the girls in Tunisia wanted him (but of course he only had eyes for me....hahaha!). He wishes! I fell for his lies because I wanted him to be my Prince Charming. I was blinded by love (or perhaps addiction). I can only pray that his wife doesn’t take years before she removes the rose tinted glasses and also sees him for who he really is. I’m glad I never funded any of his fantasies. If I had I would most likely have ended up sleeping on the streets. He was bad news and the epitome of evil...in a good looking body. Such a waste!!! xxx
Happy you broke away!! They do seem to be very well trained at what they do!
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Hahaha! I would love to do the same. I had a good chuckle with that image in my mind. I have several pics of him on Messenger and I would print his least flattering one along with his name. Wow! Wish I knew some rich and famous people to do that for me. I wonder how he would react if he was sitting at home with his feet up watching the news with his wife....and the private jet with the banner attached suddenly appeared on the screen. He’d have some serious explaining to do. Hahaha!
These are questions I have asked as well. I have always been weary of men until I get to know them. Perhaps that has something to do with my fascination with true crime (I blame my mum’s side of the family). In a court of law the general consensus is that a person is innocent until proven guilty. When it comes to men they are untrustworthy until proven trustworthy...and that takes time. I might add that I am referring to men I have met in person. Then we have social media where we meet complete strangers online, befriend them and see them as amazing despite never meeting them in person or knowing if what they tell us is true. We would be more weary if we had the same interaction in person. Would we immediately invite a stranger into our circle of friends and open ourselves up to them without knowing anything about them? This is basically what we do on social media. We don’t know if some of those people are abusers, pedophiles, rapists or have a rap sheet that could take us forever to read. That is why these narcissistic rats can so easily con us. They tell us what we want to hear, show us what we want to see and we become completely intoxicated and addicted to them. They portray themselves as the “Prince Charming” we’ve always dreamt of meeting. When we see other women being scammed by rats we don’t see things the same way. We may ask how those women can’t see how they are being used, conned and taken for a ride. However, when we’re the victim we don’t see the bad things. We fall for their charms and we are quickly wrapped around their finger. They’ve had plenty of practice and are masters of deception. Although I can now easily interact with family and friends who live on the other side of the world, at times I wish social media never existed. I don’t know how these Tunisian rats used to operate before social media (apart from scamming innocent tourists in person). They now have the world at their feet and can be whoever they want to be behind their computer screens. Sadly we are far too gullible and fall for their false charms. They are like an incurable disease...a virus that puts COVID in the shade....and sadly they will never go away. Pity there isn’t a vaccine to protect us from coming into contact with these darn rats!!!
But not that many men we meet in general day to day life are as entitled and conniving as these are.

We're thinking love, lust, wow this is amazing...meanwhile they are clocking everything related to your spending power and their personal gain.

I guess some peoples social media profiles showcase this, mine is locked.

There is a vaccine - TLR x
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
These are questions I have asked as well. I have always been weary of men until I get to know them. Perhaps that has something to do with my fascination with true crime (I blame my mum’s side of the family). In a court of law the general consensus is that a person is innocent until proven guilty. When it comes to men they are untrustworthy until proven trustworthy...and that takes time. I might add that I am referring to men I have met in person. Then we have social media where we meet complete strangers online, befriend them and see them as amazing despite never meeting them in person or knowing if what they tell us is true. We would be more weary if we had the same interaction in person. Would we immediately invite a stranger into our circle of friends and open ourselves up to them without knowing anything about them? This is basically what we do on social media. We don’t know if some of those people are abusers, pedophiles, rapists or have a rap sheet that could take us forever to read. That is why these narcissistic rats can so easily con us. They tell us what we want to hear, show us what we want to see and we become completely intoxicated and addicted to them. They portray themselves as the “Prince Charming” we’ve always dreamt of meeting. When we see other women being scammed by rats we don’t see things the same way. We may ask how those women can’t see how they are being used, conned and taken for a ride. However, when we’re the victim we don’t see the bad things. We fall for their charms and we are quickly wrapped around their finger. They’ve had plenty of practice and are masters of deception. Although I can now easily interact with family and friends who live on the other side of the world, at times I wish social media never existed. I don’t know how these Tunisian rats used to operate before social media (apart from scamming innocent tourists in person). They now have the world at their feet and can be whoever they want to be behind their computer screens. Sadly we are far too gullible and fall for their false charms. They are like an incurable disease...a virus that puts COVID in the shade....and sadly they will never go away. Pity there isn’t a vaccine to protect us from coming into contact with these darn rats!!!
When I meet a person ( male or female) in real life I feel an instant connection or an instant dislike. Why I don't know maybe it's my gut but some people make you feel this way as they can't be trusted or are in some way behaving in a way I think they hide something. Sly people who pretend to be caring or nice but in fact are two faced. And that is the danger of online chatting you can't interact in a normal way. For me it all comes down to a gut feeling now, if I don't trust it I walk away
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
When I meet a person ( male or female) in real life I feel an instant connection or an instant dislike. Why I don't know maybe it's my gut but some people make you feel this way as they can't be trusted or are in some way behaving in a way I think they hide something. Sly people who pretend to be caring or nice but in fact are two faced. And that is the danger of online chatting you can't interact in a normal way. For me it all comes down to a gut feeling now, if I don't trust it I walk away
Most of our communication is non verbal, that's why you feel this way, you're probably more receptive than many.

I have met people whom everyone likes and I don't at all, 12 months down the line, NO ONE likes them and seems that my first instinct was also correct !
 

dumped

Junior Rat Expert
Reading all the responses
There is one question I would
Like to ask.
How do these on line rats get
Into so many victims heads?
I have had friend request from
a potential rat who I either do not accept
Or immediately delete when they start
Lovebombibg or trying to call on
Messenger.
Or is there another way they connect
with victims ?
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
When I meet a person ( male or female) in real life I feel an instant connection or an instant dislike. Why I don't know maybe it's my gut but some people make you feel this way as they can't be trusted or are in some way behaving in a way I think they hide something. Sly people who pretend to be caring or nice but in fact are two faced. And that is the danger of online chatting you can't interact in a normal way. For me it all comes down to a gut feeling now, if I don't trust it I walk away
Probably the only people I meet are thru work and it’s in passing many times and we are cordial and I try to be nice to everyone but what can you say I don’t get out much:) but under what you mean Butterflies
 
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