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Trying my Best

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Thanks for all the words of comfort and encouragement so far, but I need more, please............
We are all behind you and trying our best to support you.
Everything in its own time, MH.............Thank you.............
You are asking us for more and when we try you say we are not doing enough. @Comehere offered to drive 3 1/2 hours to see you and support you, @Going for the limit found a friend close by but you have yet to contact her.

I know you're really hurt but to tell us that you want more from us is impossible - we are all behind you but you have to also try.

MH X
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
We are all behind you and trying our best to support you.

You are asking us for more and when we try you say we are not doing enough. @Comehere offered to drive 3 1/2 hours to see you and support you, @Going for the limit found a friend close by but you have yet to contact her.

I know you're really hurt but to tell us that you want more from us is impossible - we are all behind you but you have to also try.

MH X

Hey!!! I asked for nothing more than encouragement, MH............I would never expect someone to druve 3.5 hrs to help me, although I appreciate the offer...........And likewise, I think it is my prerogative to contact someone when help is kindly offered.............Quite frankly, if my request for help is all ‘too much’ for you, don’t bother responding, MH, or indeed, I’ll just disappear off the site altogether............So much for true support!!! Help doesn’t come with conditions you know, MH............
 

Comehere

Rat Expert
We are all behind you and trying our best to support you.

You are asking us for more and when we try you say we are not doing enough. @Comehere offered to drive 3 1/2 hours to see you and support you, @Going for the limit found a friend close by but you have yet to contact her.

I know you're really hurt but to tell us that you want more from us is impossible - we are all behind you but you have to also try.

MH X

My offer still stands x
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Hey!!! I asked for nothing more than encouragement, MH............I would never expect someone to druve 3.5 hrs to help me, although I appreciate the offer...........And likewise, I think it is my prerogative to contact someone when help is kindly offered.............Quite frankly, if my request for help is all ‘too much’ for you, don’t bother responding, MH, or indeed, I’ll just disappear off the site altogether............So much for true support!!! Help doesn’t come with conditions you know, MH............
We hear you Plymouthgirl we all are worried for your well-being and we do understand it is hard we are just trying to help you as we feel helpless sitting behind our computer or fone and seeing your posts when you are in distress. Don't blame anyone here plse it is hard to see somebody some you sliding into depression. You are offered help here and we do it with love but we can do so much at the forum the rest must come from within you..... Use the anger you feel for the rat to be strong again xxxx
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Everything in its own time, MH.............Thank you.............
But don’t you think it’s time, Plymouthgirl? I understand depression is crippling and makes anything we have to do hard, but you’ve been suffering long enough. Several nice ladies have been there for you and still are. You found this site and many here read your posts and did their absolute best to comfort you and encourage you to act so you’ll start healing. It’s great you found the strength to write here and reach out but you need to take the next step now. Nothing will happen until you make it happen. You know you aren’t going to wake up tomorrow and find yourself suddenly all happy and pain-free. Please speak to @Going for the limit’s friend or/and meet with @Comehere. You’ve got nothing to lose. You still have the energy to write here everyday so you can find the energy to send them a message.
I’m not trying to be harsh. I’ve been there - even if the circumstances were different- I have been trapped in this dark hole and there were days when I barely could get out of bed and I know how it sucks and how difficult it is to make even the smallest effort, but we have to understand that there is help available out there and only we can make ourselves get out of this nightmare. so please grab the help that is offered to you. You can do it, Plymouthgirl.
 
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Gamora

Major Ratslayer
Hey!!! I asked for nothing more than encouragement, MH............I would never expect someone to druve 3.5 hrs to help me, although I appreciate the offer...........And likewise, I think it is my prerogative to contact someone when help is kindly offered.............Quite frankly, if my request for help is all ‘too much’ for you, don’t bother responding, MH, or indeed, I’ll just disappear off the site altogether............So much for true support!!! Help doesn’t come with conditions you know, MH............

Keep in mind that many of us are still recovering from our rats as well. We are giving you all we have, even in the midst of our pain. While I am sorry you are feeling this way, it’s not fair to get defensive because we are all trying to get you the help you need. You asked for more and we are more than willing to help you, but each time we provide a solution, you have a rebuttal for that solution. Unfortunately, we cannot help you if you don’t take the necessary steps to help yourself. We all have to go through the 5 stages of grief of losing people we thought loved us in order to heal and some of us have not gone through all the stages ourselves, but we are trying. At the same time we are also trying to help you.

Based on your statements, you may need to seek professional help and it is beyond the scope of help we may be able to provide at this time. While we love to have you here, we will continue to support you as much as we can, but it may be time for you to consider talking to a professional. :)

Are you in any contact with the rat at all?
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
@Plymouthgirl if you visit www.mind.org.uk there is a page full of helplines to call and charities that can talk to you online too, you just need to select the one that applies to you and how you’re feeling. It’s all free too. While everyone here is amazing with their words of support you need some help for when you log off.. even if you don’t want to meet the friend suggested above to share your story and get it off your chest it may be nice to just sit with them and have a coffee and talk about something else, small steps and you will feel better you just have to believe you have it in you x
 
In mh defence I understand where she is coming from
I know obviously as a victim who is obviously still in the hell stage your going through a daily battle
But for members it can also be a struggle
And mentally draining
To be honest I rarely come on here now
For a number of reasons but one I feel anger and frustrated at rats because I'm surrounded by it and doesn't matter what I.do or say I'm not even making a dent in it
Second of all
I feel helpless to help you or any one else
Mainly because this forum is mentally exhausting and it does take it's toll
We are a forum of people who all have different opinions / strengths and triggers
Some people can naturally take on a ' supportive role '
Generally though what people feel when reading posts where the person is distressed
Is helpless / frustrated and scared
Scared for the person who is sinking and not reaching out to take the help or advice offered
I'm the first one to admit
Posts like yours make me step back
Not because I don't care
Its because it's no secret on here but my brother commited suicide .
People can and do say the wrong thing
Due to frustration
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
In mh defence I understand where she is coming from
I know obviously as a victim who is obviously still in the hell stage your going through a daily battle
But for members it can also be a struggle
And mentally draining
To be honest I rarely come on here now
For a number of reasons but one I feel anger and frustrated at rats because I'm surrounded by it and doesn't matter what I.do or say I'm not even making a dent in it
Second of all
I feel helpless to help you or any one else
Mainly because this forum is mentally exhausting and it does take it's toll
We are a forum of people who all have different opinions / strengths and triggers
Some people can naturally take on a ' supportive role '
Generally though what people feel when reading posts where the person is distressed
Is helpless / frustrated and scared
Scared for the person who is sinking and not reaching out to take the help or advice offered
I'm the first one to admit
Posts like yours make me step back
Not because I don't care
Its because it's no secret on here but my brother commited suicide .
People can and do say the wrong thing
Due to frustration
It is hard to read her posts I admit that and yes some of us are going through rough patches in life and it is frustrating to read that after years of support at the forum and in tunisia itself not much changes with these rats. I am sorry what happened to your brother GFTL I am lost for words really.... Some wounds in life never heal :(
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
Keep in mind that many of us are still recovering from our rats as well. We are giving you all we have, even in the midst of our pain. While I am sorry you are feeling this way, it’s not fair to get defensive because we are all trying to get you the help you need. You asked for more and we are more than willing to help you, but each time we provide a solution, you have a rebuttal for that solution. Unfortunately, we cannot help you if you don’t take the necessary steps to help yourself. We all have to go through the 5 stages of grief of losing people we thought loved us in order to heal and some of us have not gone through all the stages ourselves, but we are trying. At the same time we are also trying to help you.

Based on your statements, you may need to seek professional help and it is beyond the scope of help we may be able to provide at this time. While we love to have you here, we will continue to support you as much as we can, but it may be time for you to consider talking to a professional. :)

Are you in any contact with the rat at all?

I haven’t ‘rebutted’ anything at all, Gamora, and no, no contact, except the never-ending thought: ‘Why not just say: ‘Thanks for what you did for me, and Goodbye’, rather than all the vile insults and disappearance?? It’s truly so pathetically childish, at the same time as being brutal, and downright rude.............
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
It is hard to read her posts I admit that and yes some of us are going through rough patches in life and it is frustrating to read that after years of support at the forum and in tunisia itself not much changes with these rats. I am sorry what happened to your brother GFTL I am lost for words really.... Some wounds in life never heal :(

It is hard to read ‘her’ posts, Butterflies??!! Oh my Days!!! I have also experienced the suicide of a relative.............I don’t think that means that any Members should be afraid to share their state of mind, even if suicidal, otherwise, what’s the alternative?? Suffer in silence?? Surely not, Butterflies..............
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
It is hard to read ‘her’ posts, Butterflies??!! Oh my Days!!! I have also experienced the suicide of a relative.............I don’t think that means that any Members should be afraid to share their state of mind, even if suicidal, otherwise, what’s the alternative?? Suffer in silence?? Surely not, Butterflies..............
No I am not saying that you should suffer in silence, I feel it is hard because we can only support you online and not in real life to offer you a shoulder to lean on. We all where there with our rats and some of us are still suffering the same way you are. Everybody deals with it in a different way. And yes I had the sad experience of loosing my fiance to suicide before I met my husband later. Life is hard for each and everyone of us and we all just trying to help in our free time.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
You are lashing out to us Plymouthgirl and we are only trying to help you. You dissect every word you don't like and it makes me sad really. I am lost for words... You are not alone here. We support you, we try to encourage you, we are sending hugs to you but at the end of the day it all depends on yourself we can not tell you how to live your life. We are still here now and you can still rant or ask questions but plse don't leave we all want you to feel better ❤️
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Good night ladies some night here at the forum are hard and difficult as you can not always help somebody the way you want to. I had a difficult day today as my mind wondered of to my mother who died 2 years ago and I still miss her. But tomorrow is another day and we will still be here to help whenever we are needed xxxx
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Good night ladies some night here at the forum are hard and difficult as you can not always help somebody the way you want to. I had a difficult day today as my mind wondered of to my mother who died 2 years ago and I still miss her. But tomorrow is another day and we will still be here to help whenever we are needed xxxx
I’m so sorry for your loss, Butterflies. I have a friend who lost her Mom this morning. I can’t imagine the pain. It’s hard to accept and I bet you miss her terribly. Thank you for your positive thoughts. I appreciate your kindness to all and the support you bring here. Your strength is an example.
 

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
Good night ladies some night here at the forum are hard and difficult as you can not always help somebody the way you want to. I had a difficult day today as my mind wondered of to my mother who died 2 years ago and I still miss her. But tomorrow is another day and we will still be here to help whenever we are needed xxxx
Thank you Butterflies! Wishing you feel better soon. Xx
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
In mh defence I understand where she is coming from
I know obviously as a victim who is obviously still in the hell stage your going through a daily battle
But for members it can also be a struggle
And mentally draining
To be honest I rarely come on here now
For a number of reasons but one I feel anger and frustrated at rats because I'm surrounded by it and doesn't matter what I.do or say I'm not even making a dent in it
Second of all
I feel helpless to help you or any one else
Mainly because this forum is mentally exhausting and it does take it's toll
We are a forum of people who all have different opinions / strengths and triggers
Some people can naturally take on a ' supportive role '
Generally though what people feel when reading posts where the person is distressed
Is helpless / frustrated and scared
Scared for the person who is sinking and not reaching out to take the help or advice offered
I'm the first one to admit
Posts like yours make me step back
Not because I don't care
Its because it's no secret on here but my brother commited suicide .
People can and do say the wrong thing
Due to frustration
I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother, GFTL. You went through a lot and yet, you are here and strengthen others and it’s admirable.
You brought many good points in your post. It’s so true that the members here all come from different walks and all have different opinions and strengths. Most still suffer and at times it can be hard to find the strength to help or to find the right words. We don’t want to upset and hurt someone who is already hurting a great deal and we all do our best to be considerate and respectful.
I hope that Plymouthgirl recognizes that the women who want to comfort her are victims too and they are sensitive as well and noone wanted to upset her. All the opposite actually. Everyone here has nothing but compassion for her because that’s what they expect from others. When they say that she needs professional help, it’s because they do know that’s what she needs at this point. Hopefully, she’ll keep coming here for support and encouragement while understanding that there is so much members can do. The rest is up to her and is in her own hands.
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
Or several at once like my rat.
Here to all empathic ladies trying their best for the well-being of others. View attachment 67739

Yes.............Has no-one noticed that my thread was entitled ‘Trying my Best’, and further, look at each and every one of my threads and posts on the site, and tell me that I am not helping others too............Woah...............A bit of fair tolerance, please.................
You are lashing out to us Plymouthgirl and we are only trying to help you. You dissect every word you don't like and it makes me sad really. I am lost for words... You are not alone here. We support you, we try to encourage you, we are sending hugs to you but at the end of the day it all depends on yourself we can not tell you how to live your life. We are still here now and you can still rant or ask questions but plse don't leave we all want you to feel better ❤️
You are lashing out to us Plymouthgirl and we are only trying to help you. You dissect every word you don't like and it makes me sad really. I am lost for words... You are not alone here. We support you, we try to encourage you, we are sending hugs to you but at the end of the day it all depends on yourself we can not tell you how to live your life. We are still here now and you can still rant or ask questions but plse don't leave we all want you to feel better ❤️

I am NOT ‘Lashing out’ at anybody at all, Butterflies.............Just standing my ground is all.............My interest in this site is to share and receive useful information, for the benefit of Tunisian bezzness victims, including me..............I will not measure whether I stay on the site by your approval, I’m afraid................My Mother died 42.5 years ago, when I was 14, and I met my Father for the first time at her funeral.............He himself died less than 3 years later.............My Mother 48, and my Father 50...............At 17, I had no grandparents or parents................So there you go, a little of my background..............I would have thought that if there was anyone who knew how tough life could be, it might just be me................I repeat, I am not ‘lashing out’, OK, Butterflies?? As I said in my previous post, look at my previous threads and posts..................
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Yes.............Has no-one noticed that my thread was entitled ‘Trying my Best’, and further, look at each and every one of my threads and posts on the site, and tell me that I am not helping others too............Woah...............A bit of fair tolerance, please.................


I am NOT ‘Lashing out’ at anybody at all, Butterflies.............Just standing my ground is all.............My interest in this site is to share and receive useful information, for the benefit of Tunisian bezzness victims, including me..............I will not measure whether I stay on the site by your approval, I’m afraid................My Mother died 42.5 years ago, when I was 14, and I met my Father for the first time at her funeral.............He himself died less than 3 years later.............My Mother 48, and my Father 50...............At 17, I had no grandparents or parents................So there you go, a little of my background..............I would have thought that if there was anyone who knew how tough life could be, it might just be me................I repeat, I am not ‘lashing out’, OK, Butterflies?? As I said in my previous post, look at my previous threads and posts..................
Okay....I'm sorry but I have to say that not one person has been intolerant and yes I really appreciate the support you also give to the forum.

There is no need to 'stand your ground' as nobody has attacked you, not even once

It is your choice if you stay here but perhaps you too need to go back and read your threads to see the support, care and empathy you received we want you to stay but equally we can't force you to but if you do decide to leave, sad as it will be, we will still always be here for you.

We understand you are hurt and angry and yes I agree with @Butterflies that you have been lashing out and jumping on anything negative you can see rather than focusing on all the positive support you have received.

I am so sorry to hear about your parents - that must be so very hard for you.

We all have our stories, our sorrows, our hurt, pain, frustration and fear for the future and sorrow for the past BUT don't let it define you - channel it and please realise you are lashing out at the ones that genuinely are trying to support you and that care deeply about you.

MH x
 
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