Welcome to TLR

Warnings and red flags

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
As a general rule, there are only a few exeptions:

The problem with a tourist walking along the road with a tunisian is this: You do not know the history of the other, eg. if the police once caught him for something else (or even only suspected him of having done something, like drugs, which is quite common). And you also do not know about the relations between him and police - maybe they share money that they have extorted from a tourist, or the money is used as a bribe for not being booked.
Tunisians who have not done anything, even they are being pestered by the police, however, if they have, in fact, done nothing, the police can't do anything and if they refuse to pay, nothing will happen (see what Aisha wrote). Of course, they can make you wait until they have checked your papers (and while doing so, they allegedly have a lot of other things to do, so it will take half an hour...), but that is it: they can cause inconvenience, but they can't extort money. If they can, then there is something wrong with the tunisian you are with at that moment.

What can, btw, also happen is that the police is telling you that you should not be with someone, without going into close details - in this case, it might be a wise decision to follow that advice.


Well this takes me back and made me think. When I first came I lived with my rat in a small town which was outside the tourist area. We often got stopped by the police and ratty would have heated discussions with them and then ask me for 20 or 30 dinar for a bribe. His explanation was that they were corrupt and I shouldn't trust them.
However, 3 or 4 times while he was arguing with them another policeman came closer to me and asked if I was ok, told me to careful and one gave me a number to call if I needed help and another one once told me he was a bad man.

Of course I believed ratty when he said it was because they were jealous blahblahblah.

But strangely when, at my insistence and expense. we moved closer to a tourist area I don't recall ever being stopped by the police and now i understand why - he was well known in his local are but not in a town some 30 miles away.

Also, a couple of guys working in local shops gave me the same warnings "why are you with him?" And "Be careful" or "hes a bad man" etc. Always said quietly and surreptitously because ratty did not like me going out alone because apparently it was dangerous :rolleyes:

Sadly, because the rat is so wonderful and kind to you in the early stages these warnings fell on deaf ears and I barely thought about them until now :(

In the years that I have lived here, since my ratty relationship, I have only been stopped twice when with trusted Tunisian friends and the conversations were relatuvely calm and no bribes were made.

So if you are in a similar situation please do pay attention to these warnings and, as Etoyoc said, if you are stopped by the police any more than a 'one off' situation and bribes take place thats a big red flag.


This issue came up in another thread (see above) and I thought it important enough to have its own thread.

I was warned early on in my rat relationship and there was a particularlt huge red flag, as you will read above, but I was too naive and trusting of my rat and generally lacked understanding of their culture at the time. So the red flags and warnings fell on deaf ears.

Now, looking back, I know how serious these warnings were.

When you look back now are there any warnings or red flags that you didn't recognise or think important at the time?

This could be hugely helpful to anyone having doubts about their relationship, particularly those who don't yet understand the culture differences.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
This issue came up in another thread (see above) and I thought it important enough to have its own thread.

I was warned early on in my rat relationship and there was a particularlt huge red flag, as you will read above, but I was too naive and trusting of my rat and generally lacked understanding of their culture at the time. So the red flags and warnings fell on deaf ears.

Now, looking back, I know how serious these warnings were.

When you look back now are there any warnings or red flags that you didn't recognise or think important at the time?

This could be hugely helpful to anyone having doubts about their relationship, particularly those who don't yet understand the culture differences.
The first one was the I love you so soon, age is just a number, him asking for money so soon his RAT brothers American girlfriend bringing up loverats and how she paid his rent ( I just thought she was crazy) so many red flags !! His ratass brother being involved should’ve really let me know and he was the one driving when police pulled us over! The whole thing should’ve made me walk away! But they have a way when you begin talking to them! His brother is a VERY BAD PERSON but he has taught mine well!
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Looking back there were several red flags that I didn't know where warnings at first. I stumbled across TLR whilst researching and it's the best thing I did however I did go back despite the warnings being pointed out to me BUT I went against all advice and returned however that time I was much better prepared of signs to look out for - forewarned is forearmed as the saying goes.

My second visit he had a tan line on his marriage finger but he gave me some cock and bull excuse that I accepted despite knowing deep down he was lying - alarms on his phones at various times reminding him to text/call various women and the woman that kept ringing him shouting at him well she turned out to be his wife!

MH x
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Thinking back there where huge red flags. Age difference, love bombing, the constant texting, video calls to check me if it was true where I said I was. Demanding selfies to prove that. And then there where the endless lies, lies which you caught them on but he still denied it all. . Lies about so many things it was exhausting each time we where fighting about it. Untill you finally have the gut feeling there's something wrong, this can not be love, it is something else, but what?
So for all the future members who come searching to see if they are in love with a genuine tunisian man or a scammer, do your research. Don't accept all his answers at face value. Here at TLR you will find the correct answers to your questions.
After all you are in it for love but tunisian love rats not. They are in this relationship for a completely different reason.
A dark sinister reason which you never thought this would happen to you but unfortunately it did.
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Looking back there were several red flags that I didn't know where warnings at first. I stumbled across TLR whilst researching and it's the best thing I did however I did go back despite the warnings being pointed out to me BUT I went against all advice and returned however that time I was much better prepared of signs to look out for - forewarned is forearmed as the saying goes.

My second visit he had a tan line on his marriage finger but he gave me some cock and bull excuse that I accepted despite knowing deep down he was lying - alarms on his phones at various times reminding him to text/call various women and the woman that kept ringing him shouting at him well she turned out to be his wife!

MH x
We all ignored the flags flipping in our face;)
 

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
I recently met a lady here in Tunisia, all loved up, just married, they are living here and building a house.

I tried to warn her but she knows he loves her because he holds her hand and openly expresses his affection in public etc. :(

Because these things are normal in our culture it is practically impossible for people to understand that they are NOT normal here in Tunisia, in fact it's totally against their culture. Yes you might see others behaving like this but look closely and you will see these are mixed culture couples, it doesn't happen between Tunisian couples (although they might hold hands in the tourist areas).

So why do they do it with foreigners?
Because they are giving the signal to other Tunisians that they are with this woman purely for bezness purposes, they don't want others to think they're with this woman as a genuine relationship, but rather they are just working.

If you're starting a relationship with a Tunisian please please learn about their culture so that you can view it with tunisian eyes rather than western eyes and spot these red flags before your'e in too deep.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I recently met a lady here in Tunisia, all loved up, just married, they are living here and building a house.

I tried to warn her but she knows he loves her because he holds her hand and openly expresses his affection in public etc. :(

Because these things are normal in our culture it is practically impossible for people to understand that they are NOT normal here in Tunisia, in fact it's totally against their culture. Yes you might see others behaving like this but look closely and you will see these are mixed culture couples, it doesn't happen between Tunisian couples (although they might hold hands in the tourist areas).

So why do they do it with foreigners?
Because they are giving the signal to other Tunisians that they are with this woman purely for bezness purposes, they don't want others to think they're with this woman as a genuine relationship, but rather they are just working.

If you're starting a relationship with a Tunisian please please learn about their culture so that you can view it with tunisian eyes rather than western eyes and spot these red flags before your'e in too deep.
@Patty123 maybe you should read this xx
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
I recently met a lady here in Tunisia, all loved up, just married, they are living here and building a house.

I tried to warn her but she knows he loves her because he holds her hand and openly expresses his affection in public etc. :(

Because these things are normal in our culture it is practically impossible for people to understand that they are NOT normal here in Tunisia, in fact it's totally against their culture. Yes you might see others behaving like this but look closely and you will see these are mixed culture couples, it doesn't happen between Tunisian couples (although they might hold hands in the tourist areas).

So why do they do it with foreigners?
Because they are giving the signal to other Tunisians that they are with this woman purely for bezness purposes, they don't want others to think they're with this woman as a genuine relationship, but rather they are just working.

If you're starting a relationship with a Tunisian please please learn about their culture so that you can view it with tunisian eyes rather than western eyes and spot these red flags before your'e in too deep.
And they should too care and respect about your culture
Just because your with a Arabic man dosenr mean u have to go all Arabic
Like I have seen many times with woman
If they truly love u
They will respect your culture as u respect the culture off Tunisia
But with the rats i don't see this
I only see the women making a genuine effort
This is not right
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
The biggest red flags off all is doing up or building an apartment on top off rattys mummy amd daddy's supposedly for u and ratty to live there when u both marry yeah rite !!!
rattys family want u there your only as the free cash card to pay for all this nothing else they will love u till its built and furnished then fuck u over and fick u off !!!
It's usually for ratty and his cousin in a few years time dont be ####### fooled
The next one is buying land close to rattys family home
And building a big home
This is built hot for u but built to accommodate the family so they can rent out theirs!!
They will exaggerate the price off the land probley say 100 / 150,000 Dinas about £26/30,000 then the building begins all the best u put in the home then furnished it with the best then one day u visit the family in your home u paid for and rattys in the apartment with his cousin His new bride u also paid for
You are In fact being taken for a the biggest tide off your life a costly one at that
Another red flag is as soon as he works his money will be sent back to his family with gifts for them all then u will have to support the rat on your hard earned money u will forever be skint and struggling them one day he will up leave and ghost u !!!
There are woman right now buying land building home doing up apartment buying ratty businesses because they think it will be for them and rstscum no it isn't, u have to stop please its your money the rat and rat family are scamming u big time
It's all a con
Please don't, think carefully see a solicitor for your rghts before u hand over large sums off your money to ratty think investigate know ur rights and know the law
I swear woman have bern left destitute bankrup suicidle because they trusted the rat and rats family .
 

Astarisborn

Major Ratslayer
And then the rat will say he did it all himself, they are great at flipping everything around
The fact that there are victims who have committed suicide and ended up bankrupt losing their
families and by the way the rats isolate you from your family when they don't get their
way they assassinate your character.
then the family loses respect, and then you end up screwed up in every way
Not only does the rat use the law to say you are the abuser when they are with you in your country then
they run off on you to their networks there where you will pay and pay for their lifestyle in your own country.
it was all a plan from day one
and they forget what they said about helping and being a family.
That's the least they could do is acknowledge and appreciate like they do their own family and friends but no
they have to stick the knife in deeper.
The family and friends were all in on it, and then turn their backs
once they have took all you have.
How they forget their son was nothing before he knew me
and he is nothing now but a parasite living off of other people
and bleeding them dry, then lastly they spit over your memory
if you are dead so what, you were just a vessel to get the rat where he wanted to go.
God sees everything and I know my truth, and he had quite a lot of chances
but decided to be a complete burden on my life.
If the rat parents stand by all these years to see him do countless damage
time after time that says a lot about them, you ratty are trash and trash keeps piling trash
on top of trash, that's your reputation getting worse RATTY
Its not just a bad reputation in your village, city or country, its GLOBALLY
so those who get around all over the place scamming people should expect some feedback
you did not go into this ratty with good intentions so don't expect a standing ovation from
everyone you used
what have you done with your life its gone by and nothing to show for it???
Because you get what you give ratty!!
 
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