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Why do I torture myself?

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Ok, so I thought I should update.... my friend called me and told me he is going home and to send him my info that he would be purchasing my ticket to fly to him and he did. I was on my way within a week.... I was comfortable as he bought me a business class ticket.... I arrived in his country he was waiting with a private car and drove me straight to the hotel. He came in for 10 minutes. He had bought fresh fruit, drinks, and some random snacks... left me local currency and said he would be back to take me to breakfast. He also left me a sim card with a local number to call my family and let them know I was well. The next two weeks were so damn romantic..... he never touched me.... except to hold my hand.... He invited me to his home and his mom was pleasant but a bit standoffish at first but I gave her a big tight hug and she warmed up to me later..... they prepared alot of food and I tried not to think to much about it...... we spent all our time together.... talking about anything and everything....He asked me to marry him in 3 months time and I said yes..... SO THE REST I LEAVE IN God's hands... I will join him in the Gulf as he will look for a suitable home in the meantime... is he perfect.. probably not... but I am happy and I can see he is as well....
Wow! Good luck to you Shygurl! Hope it all works out for you!
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
Thank you !!! I feel like this is so right.... I think we are both to old to play games and his desire is to stay in the Gulf and work as his job is going well... I guess only God knows what the future holds... but for the meantime I am happy and grateful for him....
Is this the Egyptian guy? It’s good that the mum has warmed to you, their mothers rule the roost
 

Hayhud

Major Ratslayer
yes, my ex-rat had it all, paranoia, obsession, possessive, narcistic personality disorder, detached from reality, delusions, neurotic and a combination with jealousy with alcohol and who knows what drugs he took (not talking about the over the counter ones) made him have these outbursts in temper in public and behind closed doors.
So you never know what you are going to get with a rat, one day everything is heaven, another is hell so I would add bipolar.
When its left unchecked without proper medical attention, this will only get worse.
I think it is handed down from generation to generation, but the ones that are the rats now don't ever think anything is wrong.
Of course mental illness with proper medication, and interventions can be maintained and dealt with.
I swear mine is bi-polar. And, they have no clue. Wonder if it is because mental health is not as available there?
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
I swear mine is bi-polar. And, they have no clue. Wonder if it is because mental health is not as available there?
I am sure there is free health care, my ex-rat lied and said he needed a health card like what is this Canada? LOL
To be helped the rat could have owned up to his issues and sought help.
The rat could have used the same energies he used for scamming and deception into his own self-improvement.
But no ratty boy was taught he was never wrong and that cheating, lying, stealing are ok as long as its a foreginer he is using.
The immaturity, the inconsistency with words and actions, the delusions of grandeur.
Narcissism to the highest level, fake love, fake profiles, fake persona.
On the mental health of the ex-rat, the rating would be sky high for all kinds of mental health
disorders, and peculiar behaviors just empty in the head and in the soul.
These are characteristics of criminals like sociopaths and psychopaths, the constant controlling and calling.
Might as well end it with rat or they will end your life, if they haven't already destroyed you enough in the few years
knowing them.
This is why I don't even bother to look for another, love is so overated its very seldom
there is a true love story.
I am for sure never giving up my independence, sacrifice my life for anyone ever again.
Because in the end you have to start all over again and I am never doing that ever again!
 
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shygurl72

Major Ratslayer
I am sure there is free health care, my ex-rat lied and said he needed a health card like what is this Canada? LOL
To be helped the rat could have owned up to his issues and sought help.
The rat could have used the same energies he used for scamming and deception into his own self-improvement.
But no ratty boy was taught he was never wrong and that cheating, lying, stealing are ok as long as its a foreginer he is using.
The immaturity, the inconsistency with words and actions, the delusions of grandeur.
Narcissism to the highest level, fake love, fake profiles, fake persona.
On the mental health of the ex-rat, the rating would be sky high for all kinds of mental health
disorders, and peculiar behaviors just empty in the head and in the soul.
These are characteristics of criminals like sociopaths and psychopaths, the constant controlling and calling.
Might as well end it with rat or they will end your life, if they haven't already destroyed you enough in the few years
knowing them.
This is why I don't even bother to look for another, love is so overated its very seldom
there is a true love story.
I am for sure never giving up my independence, sacrifice my life for anyone ever again.
Because in the end you have to start all over again and I am never doing that ever again!
I think I was looking for all the wrong things in man.... as I even thought most of the time I wasn't looking.... always so disappointed in the end..... when I got back from my trip.... the devil was lurking about (my ex rat) ... I spoke to him ...he claimed I had cheated on him ...that there was no reason to leave him.... that the other women meant nothing to him....hahahah...damn idiot.... oh well once again I blocked his new number.... no need to bring in the trash...
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
I think I was looking for all the wrong things in man.... as I even thought most of the time I wasn't looking.... always so disappointed in the end..... when I got back from my trip.... the devil was lurking about (my ex rat) ... I spoke to him ...he claimed I had cheated on him ...that there was no reason to leave him.... that the other women meant nothing to him....hahahah...damn idiot.... oh well once again I blocked his new number.... no need to bring in the trash...
one time the rat messaged me to claim he never ever cheated and was true to our love story, If I had a dollar for every lie I would be a millionaire.
I have so much to say about this rat, every word that ever came out of his vile pie hole was a lie.
You could show photos, pics, videos, text, messages, posts and he would still lie.
So I took out the trash myself, words didn't matter and the rat's actions and behaviors said it all.
I totally blocked the rat, don't want to hear it talk ever again LOL
No need to do anything, karma will do the rest!
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Ok, so I thought I should update.... my friend called me and told me he is going home and to send him my info that he would be purchasing my ticket to fly to him and he did. I was on my way within a week.... I was comfortable as he bought me a business class ticket.... I arrived in his country he was waiting with a private car and drove me straight to the hotel. He came in for 10 minutes. He had bought fresh fruit, drinks, and some random snacks... left me local currency and said he would be back to take me to breakfast. He also left me a sim card with a local number to call my family and let them know I was well. The next two weeks were so damn romantic..... he never touched me.... except to hold my hand.... He invited me to his home and his mom was pleasant but a bit standoffish at first but I gave her a big tight hug and she warmed up to me later..... they prepared alot of food and I tried not to think to much about it...... we spent all our time together.... talking about anything and everything....He asked me to marry him in 3 months time and I said yes..... SO THE REST I LEAVE IN God's hands... I will join him in the Gulf as he will look for a suitable home in the meantime... is he perfect.. probably not... but I am happy and I can see he is as well....
Thank you for the update @Shigirl72. Good luck for you and enjoy it but always remember to watch out for signs of rattery. Wishing you good luck xxx
 

shygurl72

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for the update @Shigirl72. Good luck for you and enjoy it but always remember to watch out for signs of rattery. Wishing you good luck xxx
Thank you Butterflies.... I always had this in the back of my mind and still do.... I am praying for the best.... and honestly he doesn't need me for anything.... God is good and I put all my faith in him....sending you big hugs!!!
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Thank you Butterflies.... I always had this in the back of my mind and still do.... I am praying for the best.... and honestly he doesn't need me for anything.... God is good and I put all my faith in him....sending you big hugs!!!
Wishing you all the best shygurl72, x
I always take things with a “pinch of salt “ however don’t give everything of “you” keep something back (love, trust) things that a woman can keep for herself, because after all this is life.
Enjoy the moment xx
Ps: you said he asked you to marry him, which country will you live? His or yours?
 
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Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
He is working in Qatar....
I just read this statement, yeah lots of Tunisian working in Qatar, a guy from my insta he’s just a follower, he told me he visits his family every two years, he works in a Japanese super store, lots of Malaysian ppl working there also.
He said he sends money to his family so I imagine your guy sends money to his ex wife and son?
He got package and I hope you’ll be able to cope with that when you’re married.
Yes in Qatar they get paid good wages.
Most Qaterians treat Tunisians because they’re in contract work as second class citizens, just thought I give your another inside.k

Oh from Egypt, ok take care these guys are very authoritarian, they have a “sweet side” and “sour side”.
 
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Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
@shygurl72 inshAllah he is not the sheep in clothes of wolf, please be careful and alert, especially since you not new to this game. As Arab please listen, Arab men can be sweet as sugar until you accept 3 times and then it’s the nightmare, but let’s pray Allah keeps you safe and happy. You deserve to be in a good marriage and of course you can’t go throughout life thinking all men are bad, just watch for abnormalities and also as @Tinker-lulu said you must accept the “ baggage” with white heart to have a conflict free marriage ( in regards to that issue).
 

shygurl72

Major Ratslayer
Wishing you all the best shygurl72, x
I always take things with a “pinch of salt “ however don’t give everything of “you” keep something back (love, trust) things that a woman can keep for herself, because after all this is life.
Enjoy the moment xx
Ps: you said he asked you to marry him, which country will you live? His or yours?
In Qatar
 

shygurl72

Major Ratslayer
@shygurl72 inshAllah he is not the sheep in clothes of wolf, please be careful and alert, especially since you not new to this game. As Arab please listen, Arab men can be sweet as sugar until you accept 3 times and then it’s the nightmare, but let’s pray Allah keeps you safe and happy. You deserve to be in a good marriage and of course you can’t go throughout life thinking all men are bad, just watch for abnormalities and also as @Tinker-lulu said you must accept the “ baggage” with white heart to have a conflict free marriage ( in regards to that issue).
Thank you Aisha1...... you are very sweet... and I appreciate your kind words and the kind words of the other ladies.... I see so many good things in this man.... I keep telling myself that every marriage has issues but that we can overcome them all in a loving manner.... I am scared, to be totally honest.... but what happens if I don't try..... I pray about it all the time.... I want to cry.... life hasn't been easy.... I hope I can allow myself to be happy and to make him happy...
 

Aisha1

Major Ratslayer
Thank you Aisha1...... you are very sweet... and I appreciate your kind words and the kind words of the other ladies.... I see so many good things in this man.... I keep telling myself that every marriage has issues but that we can overcome them all in a loving manner.... I am scared, to be totally honest.... but what happens if I don't try..... I pray about it all the time.... I want to cry.... life hasn't been easy.... I hope I can allow myself to be happy and to make him happy...
Inshallah
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Thank you Aisha1...... you are very sweet... and I appreciate your kind words and the kind words of the other ladies.... I see so many good things in this man.... I keep telling myself that every marriage has issues but that we can overcome them all in a loving manner.... I am scared, to be totally honest.... but what happens if I don't try..... I pray about it all the time.... I want to cry.... life hasn't been easy.... I hope I can allow myself to be happy and to make him happy...
I am happy for you @shygurl72 , we will be here for you whatever happens! I don't mean anything bad will happen, just to be happy that you are happy!
 
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yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
I met someone online a month ago he lives in the same area and he is quite educated he gave me his phone
number and its not close but near the same city , turns out he is arab catholic christian.
Well the site I am on was for sure that he lived near by, it costs money to be on this site and he has
a good job but I think there is something not quite right about him.
I don't know why I attract Middle Eastern men, I am not even looking to be honest.
Well he is quite handsome 4 years younger than me, but I never knew he was Middle Eastern
thought he was Italian LOL
Well he messages me and shows me some pics, vacationing in England and
asks me for pics, and then brings up marriage LOL
I said I don't send pics to someone I don't know and then he brings up the fact
that he would like to marry me when he gets back to Canada.
He said I must be a muslim lady if I don't want to show my pics? LOL
I just blocked, I am thinking of all the things I learned from the rat.
There are rats where I am who want to secure their life here so they think
if they hurry you into marriage you will accept LOL
So knowing how a Tunisian rat is like, I am not even going there.
Thank you ladies you taught me to be strong, and I am so grateful for all
the advice I get on here.
 
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Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I think I was looking for all the wrong things in man.... as I even thought most of the time I wasn't looking.... always so disappointed in the end..... when I got back from my trip.... the devil was lurking about (my ex rat) ... I spoke to him ...he claimed I had cheated on him ...that there was no reason to leave him.... that the other women meant nothing to him....hahahah...damn idiot.... oh well once again I blocked his new number.... no need to bring in the trash...
Thank you Aisha1...... you are very sweet... and I appreciate your kind words and the kind words of the other ladies.... I see so many good things in this man.... I keep telling myself that every marriage has issues but that we can overcome them all in a loving manner.... I am scared, to be totally honest.... but what happens if I don't try..... I pray about it all the time.... I want to cry.... life hasn't been easy.... I hope I can allow myself to be happy and to make him happy...
I hope he makes you happy!!!!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
Thank you Butterflies.... I always had this in the back of my mind and still do.... I am praying for the best.... and honestly he doesn't need me for anything.... God is good and I put all my faith in him....sending you big hugs!!!
Totally leave it in Gods hand ! He knows all! I’m sure you feel he brought you together so hope it is a marriage that is meant to be❤️
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
I met someone online a month ago he lives in the same area and he is quite educated he gave me his phone
number and its not close but near the same city , turns out he is arab catholic christian.
Well the site I am on was for sure that he lived near by, it costs money to be on this site and he has
a good job but I think there is something not quite right about him.
I don't know why I attract Middle Eastern men, I am not even looking to be honest.
Well he is quite handsome 4 years younger than me, but I never knew he was Middle Eastern
thought he was Italian LOL
Well he messages me and shows me some pics, vacationing in England and
asks me for pics, and then brings up marriage LOL
I said I don't send pics to someone I don't know and then he brings up the fact
that he would like to marry me when he gets back to Canada.
He said I must be a muslim lady if I don't want to show my pics? LOL
I just blocked, I am thinking of all the things I learned from the rat.
There are rats where I am who want to secure their life here so they think
if they hurry you into marriage you will accept LOL
So knowing how a Tunisian rat is like, I am not even going there.
Thank you ladies you taught me to be strong, and I am so grateful for all
the advice I get on here.
These rats if nothing else have taught us to keep our hearts closed and our guards up! Especially on line. Mine happened I’m never really on line I do not want to meet anybody else!!!! Especially on line ! I don’t hate mine but I swear I could’ve lived my whole life not knowing anything about Tunisia and I would’ve been happy, no offense to anyone but this is a place I never would have dreamed of going to just really to far for me.. but to each his own
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
I met someone online a month ago he lives in the same area and he is quite educated he gave me his phone
number and its not close but near the same city , turns out he is arab catholic christian.
Well the site I am on was for sure that he lived near by, it costs money to be on this site and he has
a good job but I think there is something not quite right about him.
I don't know why I attract Middle Eastern men, I am not even looking to be honest.
Well he is quite handsome 4 years younger than me, but I never knew he was Middle Eastern
thought he was Italian LOL
Well he messages me and shows me some pics, vacationing in England and
asks me for pics, and then brings up marriage LOL
I said I don't send pics to someone I don't know and then he brings up the fact
that he would like to marry me when he gets back to Canada.
He said I must be a muslim lady if I don't want to show my pics? LOL
I just blocked, I am thinking of all the things I learned from the rat.
There are rats where I am who want to secure their life here so they think
if they hurry you into marriage you will accept LOL
So knowing how a Tunisian rat is like, I am not even going there.
Thank you ladies you taught me to be strong, and I am so grateful for all
the advice I get on here.
Yeah that’s strange, and I’m guessing he’s Orthodox which means he can only marry once and divorce is practically impossible. Those rules might not apply to a marriage outside of church but it’s definitely not a decision to be made in a hurry LOL
 

confuseddotcom

Major Ratslayer
Still it saddens me to know so many of us have lost our trust in men because of the rats :( Don’t let them rob you of your happiness! These self-serving wack jobs would move on in a flash if they found a good offer.

I think it’s because we gave our all to them emotionally.. it is very hard to move on from that. We’re not built like men and can only really love once or twice.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I met someone online a month ago he lives in the same area and he is quite educated he gave me his phone
number and its not close but near the same city , turns out he is arab catholic christian.
Well the site I am on was for sure that he lived near by, it costs money to be on this site and he has
a good job but I think there is something not quite right about him.
I don't know why I attract Middle Eastern men, I am not even looking to be honest.
Well he is quite handsome 4 years younger than me, but I never knew he was Middle Eastern
thought he was Italian LOL
Well he messages me and shows me some pics, vacationing in England and
asks me for pics, and then brings up marriage LOL
I said I don't send pics to someone I don't know and then he brings up the fact
that he would like to marry me when he gets back to Canada.
He said I must be a muslim lady if I don't want to show my pics? LOL
I just blocked, I am thinking of all the things I learned from the rat.
There are rats where I am who want to secure their life here so they think
if they hurry you into marriage you will accept LOL
So knowing how a Tunisian rat is like, I am not even going there.
Thank you ladies you taught me to be strong, and I am so grateful for all
the advice I get on here.
It's so great to have learned how these men work or a act towards women isn't it @yougogirl75. I don't trust anybody on-line no more, each time you click or like a page there will be texts in messenger. It's every day life on the internet I suppose. I have a picture about friend requests on Facebook for all to see but it doesn't help they just text you :rolleyes: FB_IMG_1633034280310.jpg
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Still it saddens me to know so many of us have lost our trust in men because of the rats :( Don’t let them rob you of your happiness! These self-serving wack jobs would move on in a flash if they found a good offer.

I think it’s because we gave our all to them emotionally.. it is very hard to move on from that. We’re not built like men and can only really love once or twice.
It's true @confusseddotcom these men take away the trust in men even when you meet a random man in real life you will keep distance. It leaves a dent in your heart and you build a wall around it. But there are decent men out you just have to be careful these days
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
It's so great to have learned how these men work or a act towards women isn't it @yougogirl75. I don't trust anybody on-line no more, each time you click or like a page there will be texts in messenger. It's every day life on the internet I suppose. I have a picture about friend requests on Facebook for all to see but it doesn't help they just text you :rolleyes: View attachment 69785
I like this!
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
I’ve learned to love myself and not relying on ANYONE to make me “happy “, I love living alone without being “lonely “ it’s a skill I’ve learned!

At the end of the day somehow somewhere we’re going to be left “alone” so after many years I’ve cultivated this way of life and it’s so “peaceful “ .

Just magine waking up in the morning and planning your day without “interruptions” ABSOLUTE BLISS my dears .

Saying prayers everyday prayers without interruptions!

So ladies cultivate this wonderful habit! ;)

0A302867-0718-46A1-B956-E1B27108E8DA.jpeg
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I’ve learned to love myself and not relying on ANYONE to make me “happy “, I love living alone without being “lonely “ it’s a skill I’ve learned!

At the end of the day somehow somewhere we’re going to be left “alone” so after many years I’ve cultivated this way of life and it’s so “peaceful “ .

Just magine waking up in the morning and planning your day without “interruptions” ABSOLUTE BLISS my dears .

Saying prayers everyday prayers without interruptions!

So ladies cultivate this wonderful habit! ;)

View attachment 69786
In troubled days with covid and we had to stay at home most of the times I created a space for myself. My son's and husband are a handful and at the end of the day they are men and as I have learned through the years they do think very different then a woman. So being alone sometimes is very important and I admit its great. Surrounded by my cats reading my books or watching series on TV just doing things I like is peaceful and relaxing.
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
In troubled days with covid and we had to stay at home most of the times I created a space for myself. My son's and husband are a handful and at the end of the day they are men and as I have learned through the years they do think very different then a woman. So being alone sometimes is very important and I admit its great. Surrounded by my cats reading my books or watching series on TV just doing things I like is peaceful and relaxing.
You GOT IT lovely Butterflies x

We’re a new breed that can appreciate our space, our time, and our own person, I personally don’t look to men/friends/ family to make me happy.... I suppose we realise what the meaning of life Is.

It brings you close to your spirituality or whatever you believe.
I can say that I’ve reached that stage but being an advocate will not convince others so let them find out.

Yes surround yourself with your pets the same as me, beautiful creatures that need our care xx
 
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