Why do I torture myself?

[Tinker-lulu]

@shygurl72 inshAllah he is not the sheep in clothes of wolf, please be careful and alert, especially since you not new to this game. As Arab please listen, Arab men can be sweet as sugar until you accept 3 times and then it’s the nightmare, but let’s pray Allah keeps you safe and happy. You deserve to be in a good marriage and of course you can’t go throughout life thinking all men are bad, just watch for abnormalities and also as @Tinker-lulu said you must accept the “ baggage” with white heart to have a conflict free marriage ( in regards to that issue).

Yes so true Aisha1, I like the phrases “as sweet as sugar “ but it can also have “sweet and sour”
They can be “so sweet “ that a “bucket “ is necessary as it makes me sick lol, I can’t stand that someone can be so “sweet” yuck!!

 

[Sabrina]

I’ve learned to love myself and not relying on ANYONE to make me “happy “, I love living alone without being “lonely “ it’s a skill I’ve learned!

At the end of the day somehow somewhere we’re going to be left “alone” so after many years I’ve cultivated this way of life and it’s so “peaceful “ .

Just magine waking up in the morning and planning your day without “interruptions” ABSOLUTE BLISS my dears .

Saying prayers everyday prayers without interruptions!

So ladies cultivate this wonderful habit!

View attachment 69786

I agree 100% I don’t think I could live with anyone and even sharing my time is difficult for me guess I’m set in my ways from being single all my life. And I’m never lonely it is a good feeling just to do what you want when you want with whomever you want if you want

 

[Sabrina]

Yes so true Aisha1, I like the phrases “as sweet as sugar “ but it can also have “sweet and sour”
They can be “so sweet “ that a “bucket “ is necessary as it makes me sick lol, I can’t stand that someone can be so “sweet” yuck!!

I’ve learned the rats can be so sweet and seem so genuine to get what they want! And then another tactic they use is accusing you of something like they are real jealous or caring…. Very conniving

 

[Moonshine1]

I’ve learned to love myself and not relying on ANYONE to make me “happy “, I love living alone without being “lonely “ it’s a skill I’ve learned!

At the end of the day somehow somewhere we’re going to be left “alone” so after many years I’ve cultivated this way of life and it’s so “peaceful “ .

Just magine waking up in the morning and planning your day without “interruptions” ABSOLUTE BLISS my dears .

Saying prayers everyday prayers without interruptions!

So ladies cultivate this wonderful habit!

View attachment 69786

Me too after the rat no.more I think its enough he fucked up my life too much !!!!
No.more men ever in my life !!!
I will too stay alone in this life !!!!!

 

[Aisha1]

Me too after the rat no.more I think its enough he fucked up my life too much !!!!
No.more men ever in my life !!!
I will too stay alone in this life !!!!!

You will meet a good man, they exist. Unfortunately you came across a bad one, but you learned from that experience.

 

[Sabrina]

Me too after the rat no.more I think its enough he fucked up my life too much !!!!
No.more men ever in my life !!!
I will too stay alone in this life !!!!!

You will meet someone nice just make sure it’s not on line! You deserve happiness

 

[Astarisborn]

I agree 100% I don’t think I could live with anyone and even sharing my time is difficult for me guess I’m set in my ways from being single all my life. And I’m never lonely it is a good feeling just to do what you want when you want with whomever you want if you want

I know life is carefree without the rat!
No more harassment, no more control its peaceful and I love it this way.
what more can the rat do that he has not already done.
I felt like I was alone doing everything when I was with the rat
might as well give myself the love and attention.
I pamper myself every month, I always make time for that at least once a month.
I don't want to give up everything for one person, call me selfish but I just can't be
bothered to be moving from pillar to post for some irate Tunisian rat or anyone else
who can't cross a puddle for me when I crossed oceans for a rat.
At least my money is mine now LOL

 

[shygurl72]

I am happy for you @shygurl72 , we will be here for you whatever happens! I don't mean anything bad will happen, just to be happy that you are happy!

Thank you !!!

 

[Tinker-lulu]

I agree 100% I don’t think I could live with anyone and even sharing my time is difficult for me guess I’m set in my ways from being single all my life. And I’m never lonely it is a good feeling just to do what you want when you want with whomever you want if you want

Yes Sabrina, ppl tell me oh yeah you’ll meet a nice person that will make you happy and blah blah blah, I laugh really because we’ve reached that age where “we’ve been there than that wore the t-shirt lol.

Let’s sit back and watch our kids and grandkids grow up because if it wasn’t for us and our sacrifices ... they wouldn’t be here...

As I said before, everyone will end up alone, ppl like me and Sabrina have a “head start”, it’s a choice and it’s working out, we found happiness because we’ve achieved our duty in life. We’re our BEST FRIEND and life it’s woohoo without meeting people like Rats or anybody who wants to use us.
Continue being happy Sabrina I understand how you feel, it’s a process in life that other people don’t seem to understand and consider it as “loneliness “. FAR FROM IT !

 

[Tinker-lulu]

I know life is carefree without the rat!
No more harassment, no more control its peaceful and I love it this way.
what more can the rat do that he has not already done.
I felt like I was alone doing everything when I was with the rat
might as well give myself the love and attention.
I pamper myself every month, I always make time for that at least once a month.
I don't want to give up everything for one person, call me selfish but I just can't be
bothered to be moving from pillar to post for some irate Tunisian rat or anyone else
who can't cross a puddle for me when I crossed oceans for a rat.
At least my money is mine now LOL

Yougogirl75 you seem to be happy with you, and that’s the way it should be.
You don’t need anyone to make you happy and to spoil you.
This is my point, you’re becoming your best friend.
You don’t have to give up on anything just because that Rat used you and abused you! You’re a free woman and you can do whatever you like.
Well done to you xx

 

[Butterflies]

Yes Sabrina, ppl tell me oh yeah you’ll meet a nice person that will make you happy and blah blah blah, I laugh really because we’ve reached that age where “we’ve been there than that wore the t-shirt lol.

Let’s sit back and watch our kids and grandkids grow up because if it wasn’t for us and our sacrifices ... they wouldn’t be here...

As I said before, everyone will end up alone, ppl like me and Sabrina have a “head start”, it’s a choice and it’s working out, we found happiness because we’ve achieved our duty in life. We’re our BEST FRIEND and life it’s woohoo without meeting people like Rats or anybody who wants to use us.
Continue being happy Sabrina I understand how you feel, it’s a process in life that other people don’t seem to understand and consider it as “loneliness “. FAR FROM IT !

You can live in a house filled with other loved ones but still feel "lonely" it's not loneliness it's how we are brought up as most women. We are thought life with a husband or boyfriend is the way life should be but it's not you can be perfectly happy alone it's just another choice in life. Soul-searching within yourself, what your dreams and desires are in life to be happy takes time and as you get older you have the courage to just say it as before you follow mainstream advice on how life should be or how you should live. I enjoy my time alone, although I live with my family, it's great to just say no I will not do this or leave me alone to crawl in my own space and just enjoy my own company. It's time to put me first.

 

[Sabrina]

You can live in a house filled with other loved ones but still feel "lonely" it's not loneliness it's how we are brought up as most women. We are thought life with a husband or boyfriend is the way life should be but it's not you can be perfectly happy alone it's just another choice in life. Soul-searching within yourself, what your dreams and desires are in life to be happy takes time and as you get older you have the courage to just say it as before you follow mainstream advice on how life should be or how you should live. I enjoy my time alone, although I live with my family, it's great to just say no I will not do this or leave me alone to crawl in my own space and just enjoy my own company. It's time to put me first.

So true I guess I was a rebel.. never married but had a child , I was always so scared of marriage it takes a lot! Hind sight should’ve had a man for my son growing up but I thought I don’t need one but he did , so that was not a good choice on my part! Sometimes I think I should’ve married my high school sweet heart because I see like my neighbor they have been married so long it would be nice to grow old together but I think I was just one of those that this was never meant to be, but I’m absolutely happy !

 

[Tinker-lulu]

You can live in a house filled with other loved ones but still feel "lonely" it's not loneliness it's how we are brought up as most women. We are thought life with a husband or boyfriend is the way life should be but it's not you can be perfectly happy alone it's just another choice in life. Soul-searching within yourself, what your dreams and desires are in life to be happy takes time and as you get older you have the courage to just say it as before you follow mainstream advice on how life should be or how you should live. I enjoy my time alone, although I live with my family, it's great to just say no I will not do this or leave me alone to crawl in my own space and just enjoy my own company. It's time to put me first.

If I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have NEVER married nor have children.
The pressure parents put on you when young is unbelievable.
Sabrina we’re not missing anything.

I’m fan of Star Trek , and I call some people “Klingons “ because somehow they “cling” onto people and just won’t let go, saddly they can’t live with themselves or alone lol

 

[Tinker-lulu]

So true I guess I was a rebel.. never married but had a child , I was always so scared of marriage it takes a lot! Hind sight should’ve had a man for my son growing up but I thought I don’t need one but he did , so that was not a good choice on my part! Sometimes I think I should’ve married my high school sweet heart because I see like my neighbor they have been married so long it would be nice to grow old together but I think I was just one of those that this was never meant to be, but I’m absolutely happy !

Sabrina WE ARE STILL REBELS lol.

Things happen for a reason and meeting Love Rats was the Key to understanding as to the WHY we now have that peace, ok we learned the hard way but at the time we didn’t realised that it was for our own good.!
In a way it was a blessing?
You bet!!
I live an active life, socially I only meet ppl who I like if not is bye... I go to the gym 4times a week regularly, I eat healthily, and I pray to my creator everyday.

I’m only on social media (insta) for 1 hours a day , I hate FB, too many sad ppl there!

I love myself <3

 

[Sabrina]

If I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have NEVER married nor have children.
The pressure parents put on you when young is unbelievable.
Sabrina we’re not missing anything.

I’m fan of Star Trek , and I call some people “Klingons “ because somehow they “cling” onto people and just won’t let go, saddly they can’t live with themselves or alone lol

No I know I’m not missing anything like I said I don’t think I could live any other way ! Don’t know about Star Trek but cling yes such as these rats they seem to cling could’ve lived without knowing one of these for sure!! But just one of life’s lessons!

 

[Sabrina]

Sabrina WE ARE STILL REBELS lol.

Things happen for a reason and meeting Love Rats was the Key to understanding as to the WHY we now have that peace, ok we learned the hard way but at the time we didn’t realised that it was for our own good.!
In a way it was a blessing?
You bet!!
I live an active life, socially I only meet ppl who I like if not is bye... I go to the gym 4times a week regularly, I eat healthily, and I pray to my creator everyday.

I’m only on social media (insta) for 1 hours a day , I hate FB, too many sad ppl there!

I love myself <3

You live a good life sounds like! Couldn’t get by without my creator! I think about the gym I think it would be good for me to do this maybe I will join one, will be good for me! I love my work, hey I will be going to California to visit my brother in a week woohoo but life is good .. fb does suck I blame it for me meeting my rat, not sure what the lesson was there.. ewww (don’t fall for online guys) I guess, money comes, money goes.. could’ve spent it on me though guess I meet people in passing and that’s good enough for me lol I spend more time on tlr then social media! Life is good

 

[Tinker-lulu]

You live a good life sounds like! Couldn’t get by without my creator! I think about the gym I think it would be good for me to do this maybe I will join one, will be good for me! I love my work, hey I will be going to California to visit my brother in a week woohoo but life is good .. fb does suck I blame it for me meeting my rat, not sure what the lesson was there.. ewww (don’t fall for online guys) I guess, money comes, money goes.. could’ve spent it on me though guess I meet people in passing and that’s good enough for me lol I spend more time on tlr then social media! Life is good

Wow Sabrina, stay POSITIVE always!
Yep life is good, Thank God xxh

Keep on Rocking baby

 

[confuseddotcom]

You can live in a house filled with other loved ones but still feel "lonely" it's not loneliness it's how we are brought up as most women. We are thought life with a husband or boyfriend is the way life should be but it's not you can be perfectly happy alone it's just another choice in life. Soul-searching within yourself, what your dreams and desires are in life to be happy takes time and as you get older you have the courage to just say it as before you follow mainstream advice on how life should be or how you should live. I enjoy my time alone, although I live with my family, it's great to just say no I will not do this or leave me alone to crawl in my own space and just enjoy my own company. It's time to put me first.

Very true. It’s the quality of what you have rather than what you do have. Think of all the people in loveless marriages, or women suspecting their husbands are having affairs... relationships can be miserable. I remember constantly second guessing everything, asking myself why he’s treating me like this.. is it because of x y z... it drives you mad and lowers your self esteem. Couldn’t imagine living together. Spending time alone allows you to define yourself, instead of relying on others to define you. I think people that constantly need to be in a relationship often have poor self image or they’re not happy with themselves.

There are other ways to connect with men if need be, like friendship and companionship. But yes marriage is a big step and there needs to be the fundamentals of trust and respect. Your vision in life should be the same or similar. Men don’t love in the same ways that we do. It should never be rushed into just to suit society. That causes so many generational problems.

 

[Butterflies]

So true I guess I was a rebel.. never married but had a child , I was always so scared of marriage it takes a lot! Hind sight should’ve had a man for my son growing up but I thought I don’t need one but he did , so that was not a good choice on my part! Sometimes I think I should’ve married my high school sweet heart because I see like my neighbor they have been married so long it would be nice to grow old together but I think I was just one of those that this was never meant to be, but I’m absolutely happy !

Ooh hindsight is a strange thing if I had known then what I know now I wouldn't have children or a husband but I see it with my sister she had a child and lived with the father of the child. He abused her and tried it with his son to so she kicked him out and never looked back and took legal action so he couldn't see his son no more. You did a fine job @Sabrina in raising your son on your own

 

[Butterflies]

If I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have NEVER married nor have children.
The pressure parents put on you when young is unbelievable.
Sabrina we’re not missing anything.

I’m fan of Star Trek , and I call some people “Klingons “ because somehow they “cling” onto people and just won’t let go, saddly they can’t live with themselves or alone lol

Another fan of Star Trek here and Stargate, Star Wars.....

 

[Butterflies]

Very true. It’s the quality of what you have rather than what you do have. Think of all the people in loveless marriages, or women suspecting their husbands are having affairs... relationships can be miserable. I remember constantly second guessing everything, asking myself why he’s treating me like this.. is it because of x y z... it drives you mad and lowers your self esteem. Couldn’t imagine living together. Spending time alone allows you to define yourself, instead of relying on others to define you. I think people that constantly need to be in a relationship often have poor self image or they’re not happy with themselves.

There are other ways to connect with men if need be, like friendship and companionship. But yes marriage is a big step and there needs to be the fundamentals of trust and respect. Your vision in life should be the same or similar. Men don’t love in the same ways that we do. It should never be rushed into just to suit society. That causes so many generational problems.

Being married isn't always happy days, it's hard work to go through all the stages in life and stand by each other but as al of you maybe remember I found out my husband cheated on me, we separated and I was online involved with my rat. After this online rat encounter my husband and I got back together but now on my terms. It's my way or the highway there will be no man no more who will tell me what I can do or not. It's a fine line between us now but with respect as we know how fast it all goes down the drain if we don't put an effort into it.

 

[Tinker-lulu]

Another fan of Star Trek here and Stargate, Star Wars.....

OOOh yeayyy xx
Star Trek my thing but I’ve watched the others,
Captain Kirk can beam me up anytime lol

That’s another thing these Rats don’t know about! Nothing in common pffff

 

[Tinker-lulu]

Being married isn't always happy days, it's hard work to go through all the stages in life and stand by each other but as al of you maybe remember I found out my husband cheated on me, we separated and I was online involved with my rat. After this online rat encounter my husband and I got back together but now on my terms. It's my way or the highway there will be no man no more who will tell me what I can do or not. It's a fine line between us now but with respect as we know how fast it all goes down the drain if we don't put an effort into it.

Ah yes me married twice , divorced and Finished twice... I don’t even keep in touch with those morons, my Rat gone forever

But there’s one thing I will thank my stupid Rat.... “he game me his youth”, I didn’t even think I was going to have sex after 60? (Sorry m just being honest lol)

Ps: just to clarify that the Moron didn’t know I was 60 Years old... he thought I was 40 ... so I got the last laugh lol

 

[Moonshine1]

 

[Tinker-lulu]

View attachment 69790

Bloody leaches...

 

[Butterflies]

Ah yes me married twice , divorced and Finished twice... I don’t even keep in touch with those morons, my Rat gone forever

But there’s one thing I will thank my stupid Rat.... “he game me his youth”, I didn’t even think I was going to have sex after 60? (Sorry m just being honest lol)

Ps: just to clarify that the Moron didn’t know I was 60 Years old... he thought I was 40 ... so I got the last laugh lol

I was honnest about my age to here at the forum to let other women know they are not alone who where RATTED by a young tunisian love rat. My rat wanted children with me as soon as he would get the visa and come here. I needed to explain to him it wasn't going to happen as I was 57 when we started chatting . Dumb as a doorknob but sweet with words, as sweet as candy and I am not a romantic person it got on my nerves after a while. With all this being said alot of women these days don't look like our grandmother's anymore, we go to the gym and we have more skincare products so we do look a little bit younger but to those rats we all look alike it's only our purse /visa they are interested in.

 

[Butterflies]

Ah yes me married twice , divorced and Finished twice... I don’t even keep in touch with those morons, my Rat gone forever

But there’s one thing I will thank my stupid Rat.... “he game me his youth”, I didn’t even think I was going to have sex after 60? (Sorry m just being honest lol)

Ps: just to clarify that the Moron didn’t know I was 60 Years old... he thought I was 40 ... so I got the last laugh lol

Oeps wanted to reply on your last sentence but attached it all to it. That made me giggle @Tinker-lulu, you fooled a rat lol

 

[Astarisborn]

Very true. It’s the quality of what you have rather than what you do have. Think of all the people in loveless marriages, or women suspecting their husbands are having affairs... relationships can be miserable. I remember constantly second guessing everything, asking myself why he’s treating me like this.. is it because of x y z... it drives you mad and lowers your self esteem. Couldn’t imagine living together. Spending time alone allows you to define yourself, instead of relying on others to define you. I think people that constantly need to be in a relationship often have poor self image or they’re not happy with themselves.

There are other ways to connect with men if need be, like friendship and companionship. But yes marriage is a big step and there needs to be the fundamentals of trust and respect. Your vision in life should be the same or similar. Men don’t love in the same ways that we do. It should never be rushed into just to suit society. That causes so many generational problems.

Think of all the abused women and men who stayed in these marriages if the abused partner leaves its like they leave with the possibility of living their lives in danger, if they do stay its perpetual hell.
It does lower your self-esteem to be constantly ridiculed by a ungrateful cheating rat.
Its all about the rat's image never mind how they act/behave like bunch of cheaters, liars and scammers.
I would rather be alone than just to say to the world I can get someone.

I was in pertpetual hell with the rat, I had reached my limit long time ago.
The fight wasn't fair was it?
Not only did I have my sibling to look after, my mother as well and I have an autistic son to deal with
and I was trying to keep that going and doing everything else by myself.
The rat wasn't there when my life was falling apart, my son had and still has melt downs it kind of hard to
see the rat in a good light when its all on me.
Then I was taking on all the burdens, when I seen the rat for who he really was
it was like a burden fell off my shoulders.
then to fight with the exes of the rat
normally a real man would cut off all ties to the past , that there wasn't right at all.
And the way I look at it if I have to be the only one fighting than I might as well do it for my son.
Because a rat isn't worth the struggle of losing everything for nothing.
See what a dirtybag rat is all about?
They don't care what you go through, or what you invested into it, they are just needy and demanding they
will take everything even the shirt off your back!

The rat knew exactly what he was doing and what he intended to do, he just played my troubles off like it was nothing and only saw himself
in the equation.

 

[Moonshine1]

The rats are dangerously mentaly ill in everything they do !!!!!!! My advice is keep away from tunisisn or Arabic men u will know the rats fool u into blind love and these days u cant disquinsh from the good men to the rats beware money is the be end off everything your money not theirs!!!!!

 

[Astarisborn]

The rats are dangerously mentaly ill in everything they do !!!!!!! My advice is keep away from tunisisn or Arabic men u will know the rats fool u into blind love and these days u cant disquinsh from the good men to the rats beware money is the be end off everything your money not theirs!!!!!

I second that, the rats are in another world, hard to relate to a rat when their version of reality is very different.
I received ultimatums from the rat, like I had to do things at a certain time no matter what.
I am certainly not giving up my independence to just throw it on the rat.
The terms and conditions of living with these needy rats is no condition a woman should ever have to make.
If you have to choose losing yourself to be with the rat then it will end in disaster.
I choose me and my son, because I know my son will always have my back.
The rats have their own back and the support of their rat families.
So the only choice is to look after oneself, and give the love back to yourself
after all its only one life we have might as well make it a good one!